Chapter Eight—CJ #3
“It seems so,” Harley agreed, soft and subdued.
“ Once Aunt Zoann told us, my first thought was to call you. Then, suddenly, I was alone. They all left me. They didn’t ask if I wanted to go.
I didn’t know how I’d get to the hospital.
I called Daddy and he said he was busy. Mommie was dressing to get to the hospital.
I’m deathly afraid to call Lolly. All I could think about was how much a part of my life you and Rebel have been.
How much I missed you. How much I loved Aunt Meggie.
Then, Grant and Rory rang the doorbell. Mattie told them to get me.
Rory saw my face and hugged me. Grant still was only performing a favor for a family member instead of acting as my step-uncle… ”
CJ and Harley exchanged glances and then fell into peals of laughter at the absurdity of the family connections.
“I’m sorry, CJ. Truly, truly sorry for all my bad behavior. For my jealousy and my sense of entitlement—”
“CJ—”
Ember LeBan interrupted Harley mid-apology, drawing CJ’s attention away from his former friend. The teacher registered Harley’s presence and cleared her throat. “Er, Miss Banks.” Drawing herself up, she offered CJ a tentative smile. “Mr. Caldwell.”
CJ nodded.“Ms. LeBan,” he responded politely.
Seeing Harley frozen in her spot, her expression blank. CJ waited for her explosion. Instead the silence in the cafeteria dawned on him, a repeat performance of the Torie, Dad, and Rebel saga, only this time he was the star attraction.
Ember rocked on her feet, her pretty face reddening. Unlike the night he’d seen her at J’s, she was dressed in her teacher wardrobe, boots, a long skirt, and a turtleneck sweater with her hair in a tight bun. “H-how are you? H-how’s Miss Caldwell?”
“I could be better,” he told her. “Rebel is awake from what I’ve heard.”
She frowned. “You don’t know?”
Despite his suspicions toward Dad, CJ hated his relief the relief he felt that he hadn’t seen Rebel yet.
He imagined going into her room and finding her hooked up to a million machines, clinging to life with bags of medicine on her IV pole.
Just like Jo had been. As hard as it was to see Baby Jo that way, CJ couldn’t imagine looking at Rebel in that state.
Whenever that fear creeped in, CJ reminded himself that she was okay, expected to make a full recovery.
“Dad hasn’t allowed us in yet. Rebel doesn’t feel like being bothered.
” Pure speculation. Unless… “Suppose she’s asleep again, Ember?
” Her given name fell from his lips by accident.
But he needed comfort and reassurance. Ember’s interruption saved him from a monumental mistake with Harley.
However, he didn’t want one moment of intimacy to destroy Ember’s life.
“I keep seeing her unconscious and Mom so beaten with Axel leaning against her in tears.”
Unbidden, she sat in the seat Harley had wanted. “Rebel has always been a strong, opinionated young lady. I believe if you don’t visit her soon, you will face her wrath.”
CJ smiled. “Definitely. But—”
“Not buts, CJ. I know you’re hurting and if you need to talk, if you need anything, I’m always here for you.” The look in her eyes backed up her words. She’d provide whatever he wanted, including another blowjob or even the comfort of her body.
His nostrils flared and he closed his eyes. Seeing Harley in his arms instead of Ember. His sudden headache didn’t surprise him. Since his overdose, they’d plagued him.
Snickers rose amongst their captive audience. Sighing, CJ opened his eyes. Ember blushed, but didn’t retract her words.
Ryan and Diesel walked up, stopping on opposite sides of the table. CJ hadn’t seen Diesel since their argument, but he didn’t seem angry, so he’d either thought about the conversation or ignored it.
Ember’s eyes shifted from Ryan to Diesel, and her cheeks grew redder.
Straightening in his chair and folding his arms, CJ sighed.
“We were wondering where you were,” Diesel said.
Ryan scowled at Harley, then glared at CJ.
“Shut the fuck up, Ryan,” CJ warned. “Harley came to check on me.”
“Interesting,” Ryan started coldly, directing an evil stare at Harley.
The fuckhead couldn’t be jealous when he’d taken CJ’s girl.
Before he lost his shit, CJ clenched his jaw and studied Harley.
A seismic shift seemed to have taken place within her in the span of hours.
Though she wasn’t in tears, she still looked so vulnerable, almost broken.
But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, allow her to pull him into her drama.
Especially with Ryan. Though his relationship with his cousin still wasn’t the best, they’d made progress toward tolerating each other.
If CJ believed in Harley, he probably wouldn’t care about his fragile bond with Ryan.
However, the minute he angered her, she’d turn on him.
“I’m not in the mood to hear a fucking lover’s quarrel,” he growled, glaring between them. “Take it the fuck away from me.”
The words startled both Ryan and Harley. CJ didn’t care.
“Let’s go upstairs, little brother,” Diesel said gently. “We can talk privately.”
“I’m fine, Diesel,” CJ swore, unable to focus. His thoughts ran in all directions. “I’ll be up in a minute. How’s Rebel?”
“I haven’t seen her yet. I stayed in the hallway when Kendall and Mortician were buzzed back. I figured they’d want to talk to Aunt Meggie.” Diesel shrugged. “I saw the doctor going back there as well, but I left before Uncle Chris came out and said I can finally see her.”
CJ glanced up at Diesel’s tortured tone. His red-rimmed eyes, uncombed hair, and unshaven jaw indicated his devastation.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I want her to be happy and laughing, and instead I’ll find a girl distraught by a motherfucker who betrayed her trust.”
“She’ll want to see you,” CJ said.
“I can say the same about you, little brother. Rebel adores you.”
“What can I tell her? We failed both you and Rule? Rule needed help and you needed protection?” It was part of the reason he was so angry with Rule—because he was furious with himself.
“I don’t know what to say, Diesel. I don’t know how the fuck I can look my little sister in the fucking eye and excuse my part in this.
We joked about that fuckhead’s sanity instead of getting him help.
” CJ swallowed, his eyes burning. Making light of Rule’s saneness, or lack thereof, had been wrong, too. “I should’ve told Dad. Or Mom—”
“Uncle Christopher wanted to get help for him now,” Diesel said bitterly. “Aunt Meggie—”
CJ stiffened. “Motherfucker, don’t you blame Mom for what Rule did. That isn’t fair and you know it. I will beat the fuck out of you.”
“Fuck you—”
“Why the fuck can’t you ever admit when you’re wrong?” CJ yelled. “Just do that and everyone’s lives would be easier, fuckhead. Most especially yours. You’d get fucking help for all your miserable motherfuckery.”
“CJ—” Harley started.
“You don’t want to fuck with me, CJ,” Diesel said coldly.
“I want to do that and more, you miserable motherfucker,” CJ spat.
“Maybe this isn’t—”
“Get on your fucking feet and say that to my fucking face,” Diesel ordered, interrupting Ember.
CJ stormed to his feet and shoved Diesel. “You want someone to blame,” he yelled, ignoring Narci, Bishop and Torrin, rushing over and trying to intercede.
“Get the fuck out of my fucking way,” Diesel roared, pushing Torrin away.
Narci raised his hands and stepped back, while Bishop looked at CJ.
“I’ll wipe the fucking floor with you, CJ,” Diesel snarled. “Don’t fuck with me.”
“Motherfucker, you put your goddamn hands on me and I’ll fucking gut you. Because you need to look in the fucking mirror. You added fuel to Rule’s crazy train by fucking with Rebel.”
“Fuck!” Ryan rushed between CJ and Diesel before either of them took a swing.
He placed a hand against their chests, glancing between them.
“Do you two fuckheads really want to do this now? With your mom and your sister in ICU, Jo in NICU, and Outlaw probably ready to shoot anyone who had a fucking role in their condition?”
“He’s right.” Mattie’s voice travelled to CJ, and she peeped around Ryan.
Her eyes were puffy and swollen. She’d been crying, too.
“Don’t do this right now. I’ve been texting you all morning, CJ.
” She glanced at Diesel. “I saw you leaving and I know you haven’t visited Reb yet. It’ll cheer her up so much to see you.”
A muscle ticked In Diesel’s jaw. He wished it was only because he saw Rebel as his little sister and Mom as Mom, but Diesel was a complicated man with tangled emotions.
Mattie glanced over her shoulder, then looked at them again and leaned in. “I know Rebel likes Kaia,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper, “but she…she still thinks she’s in love with you, Diesel. And she’s always felt responsible for Rule. She probably thinks Rule’s attack is her fault.”
CJ snapped his brows together. “That motherfucker tried to fucking kill her.”
“Exactly,” Diesel said, finding another target for his anger. “What he did isn’t her fucking fault!”
“You boys good?” Narci asked.
CJ gave a curt nod. Diesel merely glowered until Narci, Bishop, and Torrin blended into the crowd again.
Ryan backed out of the way and CJ returned to his seat, surprised to see Fia, Tauriel, and Tennysee, standing in the little group around the table Pale-faced and red-eyed, they looked shook up.
Odd, even. CJ didn’t care. They were friends with Nyx and remained loyal to her.
He gave them props for coming, but nothing more. It was the least they could fucking do.