Chapter Eight—CJ #4
He wanted to turn back the clock and stay the fuck home.
No matter what Uncle Mort said, CJ hadn’t had to go to that stupid party.
He hadn’t even had sex. Or enjoyed himself.
Goddamnit! When Uncle Val shot the fuck out of Eliza Bart, CJ should’ve left.
Dad would’ve gone with him. Not only would CJ have been home, but his father, too.
Rule would never…
He scrubbed a hand over his face. What if Uncle Mort was right? What if Rule would’ve tried at a different time and Rebel or Mom or both of them would’ve ended up dead?
Mattie walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, while the three club girls stepped slightly away.
Suspicions crept into his spinning brain.
No matter the supposed show of respect toward Outlaw’s wife and daughter, CJ couldn’t imagine why Fia, Tauriel, and Tennysee came.
Their dislike of Rebel wasn’t as virulent as Nyx’s, but it still existed.
“Here, CJ.” Ryan handed him a cigarette, then used his lighter once CJ accepted it. “Smoking always helps my nerves.” He turned to Diesel and did the same, then lit one of his own.
The silence was unnerving. Ember remained at the table, a deer in the headlights, afraid to even adjust her position. Like the teacher, Harley was just there, seemingly frozen in time. Until her phone indicated a text message and she stiffened.
“What’s up, Harls?” Mattie asked. “Are you okay?”
“It’s j-just Nardo,” she said.
“You didn’t even look at the message.” Ryan narrowed his eyes, resentment flashing over his face. “How the fuck would you know who it is?”
For the first time that morning, tears rushed to Harley’s eyes. “I h-have a special tone for him.”
CJ straightened, remembering her behavior after Willard assaulted her. “Harley—”
“That’s the same fucking tone I heard when some girl from school texted you the other night,” Ryan replied, interrupting CJ.
She lifted her chin. “It’s N-Nardo,” she said flatly.
Ryan studied her, then glanced away. CJ drew his brows together, unsure why the scene bothered him so much. Fuck! He was searching for a reason to confront Ryan out of jealousy.
“Bro, if talking to Nardo upsets you that fucking much, ignore him,” Mattie said.
“I-I…” Harley looked from CJ to Ryan. “It’s my business what I do with him,” she announced, turned, and ran out of the cafeteria.
CJ studied Ryan watching Harley’s frantic escape.
Problematic in and of itself. Ryan’s demeanor, however, was even more fucked up.
The pain could be attributed to his own bout of jealousy.
CJ knew how soul destroying it was. But he swore Ryan had guilt mixed in, almost akin to his look every time someone mentioned Molly.
If Ryan was fucking over Harley…Fuck, nope! CJ couldn’t immerse himself in her bullshit because she was stupid. Not until his latest family crisis ended.
Ember shifted. “I probably should go.”
“Thank you for coming to check on Rebel,” CJ told her.
“Can I talk to you alone for a moment, Mr. Caldwell?” she asked.
Laughter snorted from Mattie. At CJ’s warning look, she clapped her hand over her mouth, though amusement lit up her brown eyes and her shoulders shook.
Snickering, Ryan wagged a finger at their cousin.
Ember’s mortification grew by tenfold. She couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze, barely met CJ’s. If she turned any redder, her color might be permanently altered. Taking pity on her, CJ got to his feet and nodded, indicating she stand. “I’ll walk you through the gauntlet of nosy motherfuckers.”
She stood, her face flushed. CJ imagined how pretty and pink she looked underneath her clothes.
He felt no embarrassment or guilt, even though he really didn’t want her.
All because of Harley, who he couldn’t seem to get over.
Even after her lover’s quarrel with Ryan, after she’d run off supposedly because of Nardo and knowing she’d turn back into a super brat if Molly ever returned, CJ wanted her almost more than he wanted to breathe.
Because, yeah, he’d been a lying motherfucker when he said he needed her but didn’t want her.
It was both.
Except he’d gnaw off his goddamn arms before he ever admitted that. He’d die on that hill of denial.
Ember, on the other hand, made him feel nothing but lust. He only wanted what she offered. A fuck and a dick suck. Fucked up but true.
“I’ll text you later,” he whispered, close to her ear, trying to remain casual so he wouldn’t draw attention to his erection.
“I’ll be waiting,” she responded quietly.
Standing firmly at her side, CJ escorted her to the hallway, ignoring how his captive audience followed his every move.
He didn’t want further scrutiny, so he kept it simple and bade her farewell.
If he walked her to the parking lot, they’d have even more spectators.
He didn’t want that for her. The more people witnessing their interactions, the more she risked herself.
Whenever he talked to her again, he’d remind her of the importance of discretion. Not for him, but for her.
By the time CJ returned to the table, Diesel had taken his seat. He wouldn’t make a big deal about it. Obviously, the fuckhead was suffering.
Once CJ pulled over another chair and sat, he leaned across the table and grabbed his untouched coffee, donut, and banana. The coffee had grown cold and he’d lost his appetite.
“If you don’t want that donut, cuck, I’ll take it off your hands,” Ryan offered.
“You can have the banana, too,” CJ said.
“I’ll take that,” Mattie inserted, swiping the banana before Ryan could.
“What was LeBan doing here?” Ryan asked around a mouthful of donut.
“Checking on Rebel,” CJ said.
“If you believe that, then you really are an incel.” Ryan snatched the cold coffee and gulped it. “As well as a stupid asshole.”
Smiling at all the laughter floating around him, CJ flipped Ryan off. “I’m not trying to make the woman lose her fucking job, fuck face.”
“She didn’t seem to care about it,” Mattie pointed out after swallowing the delicate bite of banana she’d taken.
“Hey, Matt, I can show you how to eat that banana like a dude,” Ryan offered, “instead of a two-year-old Disney princess.”
Mattie swatted him. “You’re such a jackass.”
“But a lovable jackass,” Ryan retorted.
“In recent days,” she conceded, taking another small taste.
Fia broke away from where she’d been standing with Tauriel and Tennysee near a display of energy drinks and returned to the table. Nyx with her red hair and ivory skin and Tennysee with her olive complexion and dark hair stood out amongst their group because Fia and Tauriel were both dirty blondes.
“We’re going to head out,” Fia said miserably, unease still pulling her features down. “Would you, er, would you tell Meggie and Rebel we were here? If they need anything, we’re more than happy to help.”
Tennysee hurried over. For once, she wasn’t pining behind Narci. “Let Outlaw know we stopped by,” she added, nodding vigorously. Like someone wound up her fucking head. “Please.”
CJ looked at Fia and Tennysee glanced over his shoulder to stare at Tauriel. She was fidgeting. “All right, you three. What’s going on?”
Fia burst into tears. “We don’t want to fucking die,”
Diesel lifted his brows, then narrowed his eyes, the chilling look of a psycho marring his face. “Have you done anything that would warrant your death?”
“No!” Tauriel screeched.
Tennysee’s frantic head shakes began again. “No! Of course not!”
CJ didn’t have time for their theatrics. “Tell me now what the fuck’s going on or leave.”
A simple choice.
“Outlaw killed Nyx,” Fia sobbed in a low, strangled whisper.
Fuck… “Dad did what?” CJ bellowed, so fucking shocked his headache subsided.
Ryan gaped and Diesel’s mouth dropped open. The sudden silence in the room seeped into CJ’s brain and he remembered to temper his tone. Cameras were everywhere and…fuck! Just as they had a private wing, they needed a private cafeteria.
“Dad killed Nyx?” he managed, exchanging glances with Mattie, Ryan, and Diesel, the shock coursing through him reflected on their faces. “But why? When?”
Ryan swayed. “Uncle Christopher k-k-killed Nyx?”
A loud sob escaped Tauriel and Tennysee’s disease suddenly afflicted her. She nodded frantically.
Diesel stared between the three girls, the color gone from his face. He opened his mouth, but said nothing. CJ wondered if he could even form a sentence.
“What did Nyx do?” Mattie demanded, her horrified expression suggesting a false calm as she pretended. “He wouldn’t have shot her for no reason.”
“We told her to behave,” Fia cried, on the verge of hysteria.
“Nyx wouldn’t shut the fuck up,” Tennysee explained, hugging Fia.
“She ended up calling Meggie a b-bitch. Outlaw…then…and…Oh my fucking god! He just stepped over her and…then he…he…he did!” she wailed as if anyone understood her babbling.
She shivered and tears filled her eyes. Drawing in several deep breaths and seemingly unable to get enough air into her lungs, she swiped at her wet cheeks.
“Please tell Outlaw we were here. Please let Meggie know whatever she wants—”
Word of Nyx’s death rippled through the crowd, spreading amongst the brothers.
CJ picked out Narci, Torrin, Bishop, and Huck, then transferred his gaze to Ryan and Diesel before searching the faces of other brothers who’d partied with Nyx.
He understood their regret, though not their fear and unease.
He squinted. It was the same expressions Fia, Tauriel, and Tennysee exhibited. Suddenly, he got it. Most of them had disrespected Mom in one way or another. Especially the three girls, riding high on Nyx’s belief that she ruled the club.
“CJ, please!” Fia cried, mascara-tinted tears streaking her face. “Talk to Outlaw. Don’t let him ki–”
Roaring to his feet, CJ covered Fia’s mouth with his hand. “Shut it,” he warned, low. “There are fucking cameras in here. Understand me?”
Her eyes wide and her shoulders shaking, she nodded.