Ryan #3
“You and Dev are mine,” Pops said fiercely, ignoring Ryan’s look or not seeing it.
“In my eyes, nothing and no one compares to my sons. I wanted to position you to be close to CJ. I just went about it the wrong way. The only fucking certainty is that one day a Caldwell boy will head the club. More than likely, it’ll be CJ.
He has a bunch of motherfuckers to choose from to be in his inner circle.
I wanted you and Devon included as his cousins.
I know he won’t, he can’t, choose both of you, but if you were in, Devon would be, too.
CJ would look out for you and you’d look out for Dev.
We’re a big club, with a far reach. However, that can’t compare to the reach you have as an officer. ”
“Suppose I don’t want to join the fucking club, Pops?” Ryan asked at the same time Devon said, “If Ryan doesn’t want that assignment, I’ll take it.”
Dropping his hands, Pops stepped back and searched Ryan’s face, his shoulders sagging. He nodded. “Then don’t join it,” he said, his disappointment hard to miss. “I won’t love you any less.”
“I-I m-mean I-I think I do,” Ryan admitted, flushing in embarrassment, wondering why his father’s disappointment mattered to him. He only knew he didn’t like it. “I-I m-mean CJ…CJ isn’t as bad as I’d built him up in my mind to be.”
“Then come correctly, son,” Pops said quietly, searching Ryan’s face, his eyes grave and knowing. “Confess to whatever you’ve done. Tell Outlaw what you know. Traitors are killed, but if you throw yourself on his mercy and be honest…”
Pops allowed a bit of silence, but Ryan couldn’t bring himself to follow the advice. He’d risk Molly, and Outlaw might still kill him.
“Remember this, Ryan. If I find out you’ve fucked over the club after I’ve asked you to confess, I will beat the fuck out of you. Got me?”
“Yeah, Dad, uh, Pops.”
Without another word, Pops turned and left. The scent of outside briefly blew in during the short amount of time he opened and closed the door.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, Devon rocked on his heels. “Dad’s right, Ry. You need to tell Uncle Christopher about Aunt Meggie.”
Ryan snapped his brows together, then narrowed his eyes, ready to deny the unspoken accusation. Until he remembered that day at the lean-to near Turn Creek when his brother came with some of the Caldwell boys, Rory, Lou, and Mark JB.
Devon had overheard Ryan’s conversation with Willard. How much was never said. But their arrival helped Ryan.
“What…what do you know?”
“A lot.”
“You haven’t told.”
“That’s been the hardest part. Not telling Mom and Dad.
I didn’t tell because I wanted to protect you.
” He hesitated, folded his arms, and glanced away.
“And them. They love you as much as they love me. As much as I love you. Just because you forgot we’re your family and you are supposed to protect us doesn’t mean I didn’t remember. ”
Ryan floundered for words. Guilt dug a little deeper into him.
“If you don’t want to tell Uncle Christopher, tell CJ.”
“Why?” he demanded, surprised at how accepting he was of the idea. He felt no insult. Just curiosity, even if the word sounded unnecessarily sharp.
“His punches are probably less lethal than Uncle Christopher’s and he’d also convince his dad to go light.”
“Mom’s Uncle Christopher’s sister,” Ryan argued. “He’ll go light on me without CJ.”
“You’re cavorting with an enemy club, spending weekends with the Scorpions. Listening to Willard. It’ll make you look so guilty Uncle Christopher might not care you’re his nephew.”
“It’s a free country,” Ryan said, testing the waters. If going to the American Scorpion’s clubhouse was what Devon ‘knew’, then that was minor compared to the bigger secrets. “I can go where I please. I was thinking about becoming a Scorpion.”
“What about me? I don’t want to join another club. I want to be a Death Dweller.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with me, cuck?”
Devon met his gaze. “Do you want to be Prez one day?”
“CJ has that locked in.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
“Does it matter, Devon?” Ryan asked crossly. “Refer to my previous answer.”
Devon glared at him.
“Fuck, fine,” Ryan relented. “Not really. Fuck, not at all. I cannot imagine that level of responsibility.”
“Did Rory tell you he wants to be an enforcer?”
“Are you fucking kidding?”
“No. I do have more communication with the cousins than you. Have you ever heard of a tail gunner?” Devon asked, changing the subject yet again.
“Yeah. Duh. We, uh, the Dwellers don’t have one, but a lot of other clubs do.”
“Rory was going to ask CJ to call another meeting. We came up with the officers under CJ’s leadership.
” Devon dug in his back pocket and pulled out his phone.
“So CJ as Prez, of course,” he said, looking at his screen.
“Diesel as Veep. Rory as Sergeant-at-Arms and Top Enforcer. Grant as Secretary. Bishop as Treasurer.” His phone disappeared back into his pocket.
“You as Road Captain and me as Tail Gunner. We’ll honor Dad’s position and work together. ”
Swallowing, Ryan gave his brother a half-grin, touched more than he thought possible. “That sounds like an excellent plan, Dev.”
“There’s also Mark JB, Lou, the Triplets, Narci, and Torrin that we have to account for, but we’ll figure something out if CJ likes this idea.”
“CJ might want to fill the positions with his brothers.”
“He isn’t that short-sighted. He’s like Uncle Christopher. He’ll know the necessity of this plan. Even if we’re all family, we aren’t all Caldwell boys.”
Ryan wouldn’t point out all the guys not a part of the family.
“Do you want to play a video game later?” Devon asked hesitantly, moving on from their discussion. “How we used to.”
Ryan smiled. “About six years ago?”
“That’s about the time you turned into a meaner fuckhead.”
“About the time I started hating CJ,” he said with a sigh.
“Can’t blame him for you being a fucking bully, Ry.”
Ryan had no defense, so he shrugged.
“So do you?” Devon pressed. “Want to play the game?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to focus. If you’re still a little cheating asshole, I have to pay attention.”
“Okay.” Devon pointed to the floor, littered with ashes and cigarettes. Mom would kill them. “Rock, paper, scissors to see who sweeps and sprays room deodorant?”
“I’ll do it after I check on Harley, cuck.”
Flipping Ryan off, Devon loped away, not even glancing in the living room.
Once his footsteps faded, Ryan went to Harley.
She’d fallen asleep on the sofa. Like Pops said, emotions were complicated.
He had followed Willard’s orders and slept with her.
But Ryan also saw it as a 2-for-1. Getting back at CJ was as much his reason as Molly.
At no time had Harley’s feelings entered the equation.
He’d taken what she’d given him and then allowed whoever to see their intimate moments.
What his great-grandfather would think about Ryan with Harley hadn’t entered into his mind either. Willard said Logan would forgive Ryan because fucking her was for the greater goal.
He assumed the motherfucker meant returning Molly. Now, Ryan wasn’t so sure. Nor was he certain the boy his father remembered was still inside of him.
Not having an answer, Ryan would ignore Harley again. Until the next time Willard sent his orders.