Chapter 16
EVERLY
I wake up alone, and for a second the vulnerability hits hard.
Then I see my phone on the nightstand. There's a text from Rush.
Rush: Had to run early for club business. You okay?
I smile despite the hollow feeling in my chest.
Me: Yeah, I'm good. See you tonight?
Rush: Yeah. Miss you.
The words make my chest warm.
I get up and notice small things he did before he left.
My hoodie folded on the chair, the coffee cup he used rinsed and in the dish rack, the blanket straightened on the couch.
He was careful with my space even when leaving early.
That means something.
I shower and get dressed. My body aches in the best way.
Last night was intense, not just physically but emotionally.
I'm glowing from it, but I'm also vulnerable in a way I haven't been before.
The stakes feel different now, higher somehow.
Loving Rush isn't casual, it's not light.
It's choosing someone who's afraid of his own darkness, who's convinced he'll hurt me eventually.
It's standing beside someone while his past tries to drag him under.
And I'm choosing it anyway.
But that doesn't mean I'm not scared.
The lab is quiet when I arrive. It's Saturday morning and most people aren't in.
Maya's already at her station and she looks up when I walk in.
“Nice of you to turn up,” she says with a wicked grin.
“I’m right on time,” I grouse.
"True, but you look like someone dropped a bomb in your life."
I almost laugh. "Is it that obvious?"
"You're glowing and distracted at the same time, so yeah, it's obvious."
I sit down at my station and try to focus on my samples.
Maya watches me for a second. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because you look happy and terrified in equal measure."
I sigh. "That's accurate."
"What happened?"
"Rush said he loves me."
Her eyes go wide. "And?"
"And I said it back."
"Oh my God, Everly."
"I know."
"How do you feel about it?"
I think about it, really think about it. "Happy. Scared. Vulnerable."
"That's normal."
"Is it? Because it feels like I just handed him the ability to destroy me."
Maya sets down her pipette. "That's what love is though—giving someone the power to hurt you and trusting they won't."
"What if they do?"
"Then you survive and you learn. But you can't protect yourself from hurt by never taking risks."
"I know."
"Do you? Because you sound like you're second-guessing."
"I'm not second-guessing. I'm just aware of how much this could hurt if it goes wrong."
"And if it goes right?"
"Then it's everything."
Maya smiles. "Then focus on that."
We work in comfortable silence for a while, but my mind keeps wandering.
To Rush, to last night, to the way he looked at me when he said he loves me.
To my dad flying out here to intimidate him, to test whether Rush is worth me.
To Ciara hovering around the edges, making her little moves.
"My dad's flying out here," I say suddenly.
Maya looks up. "When?"
"Tuesday."
"To do what?"
"To scare Rush off, probably threaten him, definitely test him."
"And Rush knows?"
"Yeah, he knows. He says he's not backing down."
"Do you believe him?"
"I want to."
"But?"
"But my dad is terrifying when he wants to be and Rush has spent his whole life convinced he's not good enough. I'm worried my dad's going to confirm all of Rush's worst fears about himself."
"Then you need to be there to remind him those fears are bullshit."
"Yeah, I know."
"Everly, you can't protect Rush from your dad. But you can stand beside him while he faces it."
"I know. I'm just scared."
"Of what?"
"That this is too much pressure. That Rush is going to crack under it."
"He might, but you can't control that. All you can do is be honest about what you want and let him choose how to handle it."
She's right and I know it.
But that doesn't make it easier.
I'm leaving the lab around four when I run into Ciara.
She's standing outside the building like she's waiting for someone.
"Everly," she says with a bright smile. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Working. I'm in the science program at Trinity."
"Oh right, I forgot. You're so smart."
The compliment feels condescending but I let it slide.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Oh, I was just in the area. Thought I'd grab coffee. Want to join?"
"I can't. I'm meeting Rush."
"Oh." Her smile tightens slightly. "How are things going with you two?"
"Good."
"Yeah? No issues?"
"No. Why would there be?"
She leans against the wall. Her posture is casual but her eyes are sharp.
"I'm just asking because Rush has been under a lot of pressure lately. Club stuff, Diesel coming, all that."
"He's handling it."
"Is he? Because when things get intense, Rush tends to shut down. You probably haven't seen that side yet."
The comment is subtle but pointed. It implies I don't know him well enough to see his cracks.
"I've seen plenty of his sides," I say evenly.
"Of course, I'm sure you have. I'm just saying, he's complicated. And when he's overwhelmed he tends to pull away from people."
"He's not pulling away from me."
"Not yet." She smiles. "I'm not trying to worry you, Everly. I'm just being realistic. Rush has a pattern and I've seen it before."
"What pattern?"
"He gets close to someone, things get real, and then he backs off. It's how he protects himself."
"Maybe that was true before, but things are different now."
"Are they? Or are you just hoping they are?"
The question is designed to make me doubt, to plant seeds of insecurity.
But I see it for what it is.
"Ciara," I say calmly, "I appreciate your concern, but Rush's emotional state is not your territory anymore."
Her smile falters. "I'm just trying to help."
"No, you're trying to get in my head. And it's not going to work."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Yes, you do. You've been making these little comments since the day Rush and I got together. Subtle digs wrapped in concern. But I see what you're doing."
"I'm being a friend."
"You're being territorial. And I'm done pretending I don't notice."
She straightens up, her expression hardening slightly.
"You're strong, Everly. I hope this doesn't become too much for you."
"It won't."
"We'll see."
She walks away and I stand there for a second, my heart pounding.
That was the first time I've directly confronted her and it felt good.
I'm not intimidated by Ciara. I'm just aware of her.
And I'm done letting her make me feel like I'm temporary.
The clubhouse is packed when I arrive that evening.
It's Saturday night and everyone's here. The energy is loud and chaotic.
I find Rush at the bar with Tank and Bozo. He sees me and his whole face changes.
Relief, warmth, and something that looks like love.
He stands up and pulls me close, kisses me in front of everyone.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey."
"You good?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Better now."
We sit down and I notice he's tense. His jaw is tight and his shoulders are set.
"What's wrong?" I ask quietly.
"Nothing."
"Rush."
He sighs. "Just club shit. Nothing you need to worry about."
"Is this about my dad?"
"Partly."
"What else?"
"Pyro's been riding my ass about something. It's fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
But I can see the weight on him, the way he's carrying pressure he's not sharing.
And I want to take it from him but I know I can't.
All I can do is be here.
I lean into him and his arm goes around my shoulders automatically.
"I'm here," I say quietly.
"I know."
"Whatever's coming, we handle it together."
He looks down at me and something in his expression softens.
"Yeah, we do."
Later, when we're lying in bed, I watch him check his phone for the third time in an hour.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Nothing. Just club stuff."
"Rush."
He sighs and sets his phone down. "Your dad's flight lands at noon on Tuesday. Pyro's picking him up."
"And then?"
"And then he's coming to the clubhouse to have a conversation with me."
"What kind of conversation?"
"The kind where he decides if I'm good enough for his daughter."
"And if he decides you're not?"
"Then I prove him wrong."
The certainty in his voice makes me believe him.
"Okay," I say.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. We handle it."
He pulls me closer and I rest my head against his chest, letting the weight of him anchor me.
Peace, for now. But I know what’s coming; the shift in the air, the stillness before everything breaks, I feel it pressing in at the edges, but I don’t flinch. I don’t run.
I'm not pretending this is going to be easy.
Loving Rush is easy.
Standing beside him when the storm hits won't be, and I'm done pretending I don't know the difference. But I'm choosing it anyway, because he's worth it, and so am I.