Chapter 15 - Tara
I kiss Jasper softly, melting into his lips as he directs me with both his mouth and hands. His arms wrap firmly around my waist, his tongue teasing mine with a tenderness that makes my heart race.
I can hardly breathe.
His breath is hot; I can feel it as though it’s sliding between my thighs.
Then, he brings his hands to the buttons on my dress, kissing my neck as he unbuttons me slowly. I’m aching to show myself to him.
“Is this okay?” He murmurs with a low voice into my ear.
A spike of pleasure passes across the folds of my pussy. My heart almost stops.
I nod. Still breathless and unable to trust my voice.
Then my dress slips open, and the urgency in his hands contrasts with the careful way he looks at my chest.
My heart is pumping. Nothing else exists in the world.
“Oh, Tara.”
His eyes. Those weary, glowing moonstone eyes pull me in. It’s that look. One that I’ve missed so much it hurts, one that makes me feel like I’ve finally returned home.
I can’t believe how badly I’ve needed him to see me like this again.
My heart clenches, almost painfully.
He’s taking in my body, his mouth a little ajar.
I’m undone.
“You’re so, so beautiful,” he whispers, and I almost don’t believe it.
I am?
Then his hot mouth closes around my nipple, and I gasp, tipping my head back with a moan. Sparks shoot through me, pleasure tugging at every nerve in my body.
The swirl of his tongue, the way he cups my breast—it’s too much, and not enough all at once. I feel him between my legs already.
I want more.
Jasper worships me, his mouth trailing down my torso, each kiss melting my skin.
I’m trembling.
By the time he reaches the edge of my panties, my whole body is vibrating with need.
His eyes are shut.
“Do you feel good?” His voice is husky, almost strained.
I nod frantically.
He pauses for a second, his rough hands firmly on each thigh, his tongue tracing the outline of my panties.
I clutch onto the sheets around me for support.
Just the feel of his mouth on my skin is driving me insane.
Then our eyes lock for the briefest moment, and amid the hunger, there’s something else there.
A connection that makes my heart tighten.
It feels like ocean waves are crashing beneath my skin.
Please, I want to whisper, don’t stop.
And then he doesn’t. He strips my panties away in one fluid motion, and his mouth is on me—hot, wet, and hungry.
I cry out, grabbing the back of his head, clinging to him as though he’s the only thing anchoring me. His tongue moves with an instinctive rhythm, kissing, sucking, licking me like he knows my body better than I do.
“Yes,” I gasp, my voice breaking as pleasure floods me.
He groans against me, the sound vibrating straight through my core, and then it undoes me completely. I buck my hips, riding his mouth.
I need him closer.
I let myself be carried away—my eyes closing, the pleasure spiraling inside my pussy and stomach.
Then Jasper groans against me, low, deep, vibrating right through my core—and it unravels me. I buck into him, grabbing his head like he’s the only thing tethering me to earth, and my orgasm rips through me.
It crashes, wild and overwhelming, pulling a moan from deep in my throat. For a moment, everything is gone—every ache, every fear, all my confusion. All that exists is him. Jasper. His mouth is still worshipping me, drinking me in as though I’m the only thing he needs.
I could stay here forever.
But he’s trembling too, rutting against the bed like he can barely restrain himself. His voice comes out rough and strained.
“You’re fucking amazing, Tara.”
His words burn through me. He kisses me just above my sex, and it makes me ache all over again.
It’s like I’m his queen—he’s worshipping at my altar, trying to hold himself back.
My legs lower, and he continues to lay kisses on the space just above my pussy.
Slowly but surely, my orgasm begins to settle inside me like a resting animal.
He’s still thrusting against the bed.
“Jasper, I want you,” I whisper, pained. “I want all of you.”
Our eyes lock, and something desperate passes between us.
He’s on top of me now, tracing his large finger around my face.
I close my eyes, catching the edges of his finger with my lips.
Then I hear his belt buckle.
I open my eyes to gaze at his member, hard in his right hand.
I look at it, and then up at him. My pussy is still soaking—ready.
Just the sight of him like this, raking his gaze across my exposed body, is making my slit tingle again.
Jasper places one hand into mine, high above my head.
Then I feel his dick, enter me slowly.
It’s been a while, my pussy is tight, but he manages to slide through with ease as he pushes against my walls.
I groan, and he hisses.
Our fingers lock.
“Tara,” he murmurs.
Just looking at his face drives me insane. He has a pained expression, his eyes scrunched, his mouth a little open as he thrusts.
Now, I’m moaning.
My moans are no longer whispers; they pour out like dripping chocolate as he fills me with pleasure.
This spurs him on.
He fucks me harder, his cock pushing against my back walls as he pants.
Something’s been ignited within him, a fire of sorts.
I’m close to the edge again.
Before I know it, I’m flipped around. It happens so quickly, like the way he moves at lightning speed.
He’s inside me, fucking me from behind.
I want it—the fast feeling, the way I’m spread bare for him. It’s as though his inner wolf has come out.
“You drive me crazy,” he groans, slapping my ass.
I moan loudly, pressing my body back into him as he thrusts.
My mouth widens.
He pushes deeper.
“Jasper,” I whisper, my forearms digging into the bed.
He’s fucking me with everything he has, I can feel it as his dick slaps against my core.
In seconds, I’m coming.
It hits me harder than my orgasm before, as though out of nowhere, it floors me.
My vision turns black, and I lean forward to rest my weight.
My mouth is wide open as the pleasure possesses me. I’m no longer Tara, insecure human; I’m no longer anything.
All I feel is Jasper and the sensation of my pleasure.
I’m so wrapped up in it that I don’t even realize how long it takes for him to come.
But then I hear him.
A loud, vulnerable groan that I relish as he fills me with his wet seed.
He rubs my ass a little before he moves me again, and now he’s hugging me from behind, we’re lying with our heads on the pillows.
I’d protest if I could, but I’ve never felt more comfortable or relaxed.
I let my eyes flutter and drift off to sleep.
***
It’s daytime.
The hour? I’m not sure.
But what I do know is that it was once dark and now it’s light.
My reality feels somewhat back to normal again, although not fully.
Jasper’s arms wrapped around me are a reminder of everything that happened last night.
I can still see the way he looked at me—more vulnerable and open, hungrier than I’ve ever seen him look before.
And then the way he made me feel…
In total, he made me come three times yesterday, each time more intense than the last.
I was vulnerable with him, too, and now I’m second-guessing it all.
Why can’t I just say no?
It shouldn’t be that hard; No, Jasper, I don’t want you to fill me with pleasure.
I don’t want you to kiss my lips, my neck, my lower stomach…
I try to move out from beneath him, but as I do, he tightens his hold.
He’s breathing heavily, holding onto me in his sleep.
Fantastic.
I shake my shoulders, try to lift his hand from my waist, but it’s like pulling a metal weight.
I keep pulling, gritting my teeth, and eventually get a little leeway.
I take my opportunity to move, about to roll, but suddenly his arm comes crashing around me again.
I give up.
“Jasper,” I whisper.
Silence.
“Jasper,” I say louder.
He’s still breathing loud and slow.
“Jasper!”
He gets up. “What happened?”
His muscles are clenched, his eyes cautious—damn, he looks good.
I didn’t mean to concern him; I just need to get out of here. Before he touches me again…
“No, nothing,” I say. “I, well, you were on me and I wanted to get up.”
He nods. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“So last night was—"
I finish his sentence for him. “Hectic, a lot happened. I’m still pretty shaken up.”
I avoid his gaze like the plague.
One look into those smoldering eyes and I’ll be done for.
“Yeah. I bet.”
“Yeah.”
We both stare at the ceiling opposite, side by side, in silence.
I should leave. Why aren’t I leaving?
I go to fill the silence, but he gets there first.
“Do you want anything to eat? It’s a little later than breakfast, but I’m gonna make lunch or something.”
“No,” I shake my head.
I’m starving, and that sounds amazing, but I need time to process what just happened. What’s been happening, I suppose.
And I need to do that away from him.
“That sounds good,” I add. “Thank you, but I’m not hungry. I actually feel like I need to get some air.”
“Some air?”
“Yeah,” I run my hand through my hair before finally getting up. It feels like leaving everything that’s good and warm.
“I don’t know, I feel a little just cooped up, I guess. It’s fine. I’m fine. Just—yeah, I’m gonna go.”
I walk to the door and then down the stairs, cringing at how I sound.
Could I have been any less smooth? Like, it doesn’t have to be awkward.
I just need some space. I think that’s very normal after what happened.
“Okay,” I hear him say from upstairs.
There’s part of me that wants to run up and tell him I’ve changed my mind, but there’s another part of me that insists on getting away.
That part wins.
***
Over the next few days, I spend more and more time alone.
And just because I’m doing that doesn’t mean that I’m enjoying it.
It’s not nice to be alone with my thoughts that are as conflicting as heaven and hell. It’s not nice to have to follow Jasper’s schedule, so I can time when not to be in the house.
But it’s because of my conflicting thoughts that I have to do it.
Yes, I want him. Oh my God, I want him.
The way he made love to me was insane, even better than I remembered, and we connected there for a moment, however long it was—I don’t recall.
But it was real.
Realer than anything I’ve ever experienced.
But then again, it’s Jasper. The guy who humiliated me, rejected me, and has all around treated me like crap more times than I can count.
He’s the arrogant, selfish, prejudiced Alpha, and yet, I find myself yearning for him all throughout the day.
I’m secretly disappointed that he’s relegated himself to the couch.
I appreciate the space he’s given me, and yet I want him to sneak into the bed and hold me through the night.
This morning, I’ve decided to head over to Sawyer’s pack to hang out with Lacey.
It kills me not being able to tell her the truth about me and Jasper, but maybe I can communicate some things under the guise of us being in a real relationship.
Although aren’t we sort of in one of those now?
Ugh, I don’t know.
It’s so complicated, I can’t even begin to understand my own mind, let alone what I actually want.
It’s a sunny day, though, and I’m feeling a little cheerier than I have been the past few days.
I don’t know why, for some reason, and this never usually happens, but I have hope.
I readjust my satchel and walk with purpose. The sky clouds over a little, and I decide to pull my shades up to the top of my head.
I prefer seeing the world first-hand anyway.
Just as I’m about to step over the border, I notice some packmates headed in my direction.
They’re ones I don’t recognize, three guys and two girls.
I smile anyway.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
One of the girls smirks, and the three guys are looking at me with an expression I can’t make out. Whatever it is, it’s not good.
“Where are you heading to?” One of them asks.
“Oh, just going over to Sawyer’s pack. You know to catch up with Lacey.”
Both girls are smirking now. Why?
“Where are you all headed to?”
I get it now. They’re trying to be rude, or make fun of me, or whatever.
And gee, I wonder why... could it have anything to do with the fact that I don’t turn furry and howl at the moon?
“We’re going to hunt, but you wouldn’t understand anything about that, would you?”
“You probably find it primitive, right? So uncivilized.”
They all start laughing.
I don’t know what humans they’ve come across, but I don’t think I’ve ever even used that word.
But I guess it doesn’t matter when all they want to do is make fun of me.
“I actually don’t think that at all,” I say, eyeing the border behind them. I was so close.
“I think hunting is pretty cool. I wish I had the speed and heightened senses that you guys do, but this is the body I was given, unfortunately.”
“Clearly, Jasper likes it.”
“Somehow.”
They laugh again.
Now, this is just getting sad. Sad for me and sad for them.
No wonder Jasper feels he has to resort to something as radical as fake a relationship to make his pack seem more open.
At first, I thought it was working, that he just being with a human was making everyone realize that it’s not a big deal.
But I guess I didn’t know about these shifters. They must have been lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to corner me alone.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at all scared.
“Well, people can fall in love with all different kinds of people, in all different kinds of circumstances, so I know it might seem strange to you all, but it’s possible. If you give me a chance, you might be surprised.”
“Except we don’t want to give you a chance.”
“We had no choice in the matter.”
“And don’t you think he should be with someone of his own kind? Don’t you, as an outsider, realize that that would be better for the pack?”
I don’t dare mention that if Jasper wasn’t with me, then one of them would be marrying a witch, but it’s on the tip of my tongue.
You know what, maybe I should.
I’m pissed off.
Who are they to speak to me like this? All this crap is so unnecessary; all of us could so easily get along.
My patience for prejudice is running dangerously low.
“I don’t think I’m in the position to talk about what’s right for the pack.”
“No,” one of them snarls, “you’re not, and yet here you are—playing dress up as the Alpha’s wife.”
I eye the border. I could so easily just walk away.
But you know what?
I’ve had enough.
“Maybe if you all learned to judge people a little less based on how they were born and more on how they behave, you’d realize that I’m not the one ruining this pack, but you all are.”