Chapter 10 Quinn #2
“When did you tell my brother that you were giving away his baby?”
The world stopped turning. I froze in my seat, my eyes glued to the far wall, my chest tightened, and I realized it was because I wasn’t breathing.
“Breathe, Quinn,” Jett spoke, but his voice sounded far away.
My lungs rebelled, and I let out a loud cough before I started wheezing, and Jett handed me a glass of water. Standing up, I paced the room, avoiding his knowing stare, too chickenshit to meet his eyes.
“Ball’s still in play,” Jett said to me quietly from his spot on the couch.
“When did you know?”
“For real? Now. I suspected it for a while.”
“Did he tell you?” I asked.
“No, like I said, you confirmed it tonight. Gray, my twin, has never mentioned it to me.” Jett looked pissed off at that, and I wasn’t really in the mood to rub his shoulders over being excluded from his brother’s life. “When did you tell him?” Jett asked.
“Last night.” I sank onto the only chair in my living room and put my head in my hands.
Jett stood as I sat. I knew he was angry. “Jesus Christ, Quinn! It’s been over a year.”
“I’m well aware of how much time it’s been, Jett.” My voice was dry, my tone scathing, but I didn’t care.
“How could you keep this from him? From me?”
“What was I supposed to do?” I yelled at him. “We hooked up, we screwed, then he went and fucked someone else three days later. I went skiing with dad and Anne. When I came back, he was in a fucking relationship.”
“You tell him, and he ends the relationship!” Jett snapped at me.
He stood looking at me, his fingers laced together at the back of his neck, his head tilted slightly back as he watched me.
“What relationship? I can’t think of one girl my brother’s ever been in a relationship with.
He had something with some girl from Onyx’s class, but it wasn’t a relationship. ”
Onyx, the bastard. “Well, he looked pretty involved when I saw him fucking her in Dustin’s pool house.”
“Jesus, Quinn, if it was, it was sex. Nothing else. You were pregnant with his kid, my niece or nephew. Did you feel nothing for us?”
“I thought you weren’t going to judge?” I asked him angrily. “I thought I was in a safe place telling you?”
“You are.” Jett swore some more as he resumed his pacing, and then he was in front of me, hauling me to my feet. His arms wrapped around me, and I welcomed the crushing embrace. “You are,” he repeated softly. “It just hurts that you couldn’t come to us.”
“I was scared,” I whispered into his shoulder. “I was eighteen years old and pregnant by my childhood best friend, who was cousin to my ex. It’s freaking complicated.”
I heard his huff of laughter as he hugged me close. “I would have helped you. I would have talked through your options. Jesus, Quinn, you shouldn’t have been alone.” Pulling back, Jett took my hand and led me to the couch. “Okay, I’m sorry I overreacted. Tell me it all.”
“Can I get a drink?” I asked him as I stood again. He nodded, and I pulled a bottle of bourbon down from the top shelf in my closet. Pouring two shots, I handed him his as I sat back down, wincing as I drank the room-temperature bourbon. “Needs ice.”
“It’ll do.” Jett downed his and placed his glass on the table.
So, we weren’t wasting time then? Right.
“I found out when I was seven weeks. I never even thought I could be, but see what “thought” did? I knew I couldn’t tell him.
” I held my hand up to stave off Jett’s interruptions.
“I say it all now, because I’ll never be this brave to do it again.
” At his nod, I continued. “I never at any time wanted to take care of it by the way you mentioned earlier. However, I knew I couldn’t keep it.
I was eighteen, my dad would have killed Gray and put me in a nunnery.
I had my whole life ahead of me.” I turned my head and looked at the wall.
I could still feel the weight of his stare, but it was easier this way.
“I don’t even know how it happened. I was at the doctors, confirmed pregnancy, and I left without picking up any of the leaflets he had given me.
I had a note of what vitamins I needed, and the woman came from nowhere. ”
“What woman?” Jett asked me.
“She was in a nurse’s uniform, and she looked like she was heading into the clinic.
The note was loose in my hand, the wind caught it, and I dropped it.
” I remembered it like it was a bad dream; everything seemed in slow motion.
“She read my note and asked me if I was okay. I started to cry. I never cry.” I paused as I sipped my drink.
“She asked me if I needed help, I said no. Then she said she had something that could help me. And she gave me a leaflet. It was an adoption agency.”
“They work outside the clinics?” Jett mused as I took another drink.
“I don’t know.” I shifted in my chair and closed my eyes. “I phoned them a couple of weeks later, they made an appointment, and I went in. They checked me over and showed me a binder full of people waiting.”
“Waiting?”
“To adopt.” Wrapping my arms around myself, I pulled my knees to my chest. “I went through all the paperwork, but I didn’t sign.
I think I was pissing them off, and I dunno, I felt wrong.
So, I left. They phoned me twice every day for the next few weeks.
” I felt the tear slip over, and I hastily brushed it away.
“He knew something was wrong, he’s like a freaking bloodhound, that brother of yours.
” I sat still even though I heard Jett murmur his agreement.
“He came to me, and he asked me what was wrong, but I couldn’t tell him.
I didn’t know how to say the words.” I felt another tear slide down my cheek, and again I angrily swiped it away.
“He was so gentle. He was almost pleading, and he—” I cut myself off.
I didn’t need to tell Jett that he told me he loved me, and I told him to go home.
How could I have accepted his love when I was giving away his baby?
And that night, I knew I couldn’t do it.
No matter what happened, I couldn’t do it.
“I couldn’t do it, I knew I couldn’t do it.
Dad would have to deal, and Gray would, well, I wasn’t sure what, but he would have to accept it.
Ash too.” Sitting up abruptly, I startled Jett, but he didn’t speak.
“I answered their call the next day, told them I changed my mind. They asked to meet. I refused. They said they had paperwork that they had started that I needed to sign to make the claim go away.”
“What claim?” Jett asked me.
“I don’t know, something about starter’s fee or something. I don’t remember. They asked me to come to them, I refused. They said they would come to the house. To school.”
“Bastards.”
“So, I went to Nashville to meet them.” I turned my head to look at Jett.
“I didn’t even make it to the office door.
I knew that the building was, I don’t know, wrong.
I turned and left because I was coming home to tell Dad everything.
I heard someone shout for me. I don’t even know why I did it, but I started to run. I was so scared.”
“I’m sorry.” Jett reached over and rubbed my back, and I sat up as he pulled me into a hug. “You fell?”
“Yes, I was running, and I didn’t want to lead them to the car.
I’m so stupid,” I cursed myself. “I didn’t see the stairs, I fell.
Then I woke up in the hospital. I didn’t believe the nurse when she told me I was in the hospital, and then I had to, you know, deliver, and it was all so surreal, and I don’t think I really believed anything until you walked through the door. ”
“Never been so scared in my life as I was, seeing you lying in that bed.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have no reason to be.”
We sat curled up, my head on his shoulder as he gave me the comfort I needed a year ago but had never sought from him.
“Does he know all of it?” Jett asked me softly.
“No, he asked me last night to tell him it was his, and I told him. I told him that I changed my mind, I was never giving it up, and he said he would never forgive me and walked away.”
“He’s a stubborn bastard,” Jett mumbled, but I could hear his disappointment.
“He has a right to be angry.” I stared at the opposite wall. “I mean, it happened, I stayed with you at the cabin for a few days, and then I took off for a few months to get away from everything. I never told him anything.”
We sat in silence for a while longer until Jett’s phone rang. Then it rang again. A beep told us he had a message. With a curse, he stood and snatched his phone up. His face went white as he read the message.
“What is it?” I asked as I stood, my legs suddenly shaking.
“It’s Onyx.”
That didn’t make me feel better. Jett was already grabbing his stuff as he phoned his brother back.
“Jett?” I asked.
“Get your stuff, I need you,” Jett told me as he headed to the door. He looked at me over his shoulder. “Now, Quinn, it’s Gray. He’s in trouble.”