22. Cain
TWENTY-TWO
CAIN
"Thanks for coming out to help me."
"It's no problem," I grunt as Ward, Alex and I lift the large piece of wood out of the back of Ward's truck. "What are they using this for?"
"It'll be for the reception." He ducks his head as we go into the barn.
"How do you feel about this marriage, Ward? Do you know your soon-to-be-wife?"
He stops as we put the wood down and rests his hands on his hips. "It's Katie. I went to high school with her, and we knew each other a little bit. Would I have decided to marry her on my own? Probably not. However, I think you know what it means to be a part of the Miller family, at least my branch of the tree."
I do understand. While the Miller family itself is extremely wealthy, mine isn't as much. My dad left the family business as a young twenty-something. Ranching wasn't for him, not in the way it was for everyone else. We're all given percentages yearly because we have mineral rights, but it's nothing like Ward's branch. We're still considered rich by most standards, but it's not in the millions of dollars. "I'm just glad I've been able to make my own life. I don't envy you."
He shakes his head, taking his hat off, and running his arm against his forehead. "I felt bad for myself. I'm not gonna lie. It seemed as if everyone else got to marry for love, and here I am, doing it for land."
Alex makes a noise. "I don't know what I would do if I hadn't been able to marry for love. At least Lindsay doesn't live up to the Miller name. She's not one to love expensive things, and she's okay with the life we've built for ourselves. It might not be complete luxury, but it's comfortable."
"Do you struggle?" Ward asks.
I'm surprised to hear him ask this. As far as I know, his family has never struggled, never had an issue.
"To pay bills?" Alex raises his eyebrows, as we all bend down to pick up the plywood and move it to a better spot in the barn.
"Yeah." He grits his teeth as we turn it to fit into a smaller space. "Although I'm being asked to marry Katie, there's a part of me that wants to question it. To tell them that I won't do what's asked of me."
This surprises the fuck out of me. "You've never said no to your parents before."
"I haven't," he confirms. "Which is why I'm asking. I've never struggled," he admits, as we drop the plywood. "I don't know how to live without there being money in my account. I've never been overdrawn, or had to eat ramen."
"Oh, my sweet summer child." I laugh. "You're going to have to get comfortable, being uncomfortable. You're going to have to learn to budget and cook for yourself. Make payments instead of paying off things in full. It's tough to learn. Early in my marriage, we had no money, and I wasn't about to ask the family for any. We had to take out a payday loan, and because of the interest rate, we literally were turning in aluminum cans for money. We spent I think ten dollars on groceries for two weeks, and it was scary, but we made it. If you really want to make changes, it's not going to be easy."
Alex runs a hand through his hair. "You're probably gonna have to let go of your big ass truck, unless it's paid for. Do you even know how much payments are on a vehicle like that?"
Ward shakes his head. "It's embarrassing for me to say this, but no. I have no idea how much it is for that truck."
"Not to mention insurance." I chime in. "Easy, the truck and insurance is close to a thousand bucks a month, if not more."
"Are you serious?" Ward opens his mouth in shock. "I never once thought about it being that much."
He's going to hate what I have to say. Reaching out, I drop my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. "You're going to have to face reality. If marrying for the good of the family isn't something you want to do, then you need to tell them. At the same time, you're going to have to grow up quickly. If there's one thing I've learned in the time since I've become a cop and been out on my own, it's that we're sheltered."
"What do you mean? We see a shit ton of stuff on the ranch," Ward argues.
This is going to be the hard part for him to understand. "What we see on the ranch isn't real life, Ward. It's the harsh reality of us living there, but as far as what everyone else is dealing with, it's nothing. Watching animals be born, die, and everything in between is the circle of life. It's not the same for everyone else. If you go out into the world, there are people trying to make a living on minimum wage. They have debt collectors calling them every day. They're behind on their mortgages, and they hate the Millers because we own half this valley."
He's quiet as everything I've said sinks in. "You've given me a lot to think about."
"No one will think badly of you if you don't want to take part in an arranged marriage. There are a lot of people who will understand, but please know you're going to have to face many things you never have before." I rock back on my heels, wishing there was a way I could pick him up out of this life, and set him in the middle of what life looks like for the rest of us. "Some will explain those things to you, others will make fun of you."
"So you're saying I'm trading one thing I might not want to do for another?"
Alex laughs. "Life is hard, but if you're with someone you love, then it's worth it. But if you value possession and luxury more than someone who touches your heart and soul, then you have a real decision to make."
Ward doesn't look as if we've answered his questions in the way he expected. I'm not surprised. He and Trace have been coddled their entire lives. They haven't had to face the realities of Azure Ridge like everyone else has. "It's not going to be an easy one." I reiterate. "You need to think about it, and decide what you can live with. Don't forget, I know this family. I know what's expected of you, and more than anyone else, I know how bad the pressure is going to be. Make sure you can deal with it before you say no."
He nods, reaching his hand out to mine. "Thanks for the talk, guys. I really appreciate it, and thanks for helping me bring this in. You've given me a lot to think about."
As I leave the Miller Ranch, I can't help but shiver slightly. It's almost as if this is going to be the last time it's going to be as it is now. Changes are coming, and I don't know if any of us are ready for them.