Chapter 15 Pushing Buttons Pays Off #2
I nod my head, closing my eyes at the sudden rush of emotion that shoots up the back of my throat.
If you don’t care, Ry, then why are you so careful with me?
He slowly—slowly—works his second finger inside me. I moan at the sudden increase in pressure. It’s a pinch that’s painful but wildly arousing too.
The need for release is overwhelming.
He pushes his fingers inside me at the same time he presses my hips down. I gasp at the feeling of fullness. My legs are shaking hard now—I’m shaking hard—but Ryder doesn’t let up.
“You tell me, yeah, if it’s too much?”
I nod, keeping my eyes closed. “I like it when it’s too much.”
Another dark, velvety chuckle. “I had a feeling you might. You’re perfect here, darlin’. You’re gonna feel like heaven. Can you come for me first, though? Let me know you’re feelin’ good?”
I keep nodding, unable to formulate words when his thumb finds my clit. Then he’s using his other hand to thumb my nipple too. He’s kissing my neck, my face, my mouth.
I feel worshipped. Adored.
I feel overwhelmed in the best, most terrifying way.
Together, we chase my orgasm. Or really, I hold onto Ryder for dear life while his fingers bring me closer and closer to release. He’s got both fingers fully inside me now, and when he begins to thrust, I shudder so hard that he husks out a groan.
“Aw, darlin’, let go already. I’m right here. Let go, Billie, and I promise I’ll catch you.”
The need for release spikes, coiling inside me, and then bright light bursts through me as the orgasm hits. My cunt tightens around Ryder’s fingers.
“Oh my God!” I’m shouting. “Oh my fucking God.”
I collapse against him. He kisses my neck, murmurs my name in my ear while I ride out the shock waves.
He keeps playing with my clit, stoking the orgasm to continuous life. It’s wrenching.
It’s the best, most epic release of my life.
In the back of my mind, the realization dawns that I may very well never recover from this orgasm. At the very least, I’ll never forget it; I know in my bones that this will be the sexual experience I measure all others against.
What if it’s never this good with anyone else?
What if I’m about to have the best sex of my life for the first, and last, time?
I feel hollowed out by the time the orgasm subsides. Legit can’t breathe when Ryder carefully pulls his fingers out of me and moves them to my breast, where he coats my nipple in my arousal before leaning in to lick it off with his tongue.
“You taste just right, darlin’. Just fuckin’ right.”
An ache takes root low in my belly. My God, what I’d give to make you mine, cowboy.
I’m so beyond fucked at this point it’s not even funny. These are deep waters, and I’m in way, way over my head. Part of me knew that’d happen when I let Ryder put his hands on me. I was half in love with this man already.
Now?
Now, I realize it’s not just my body on the altar tonight. It’s my heart too. And that’s a sacrifice I’d willingly make a hundred times over to be the sole object of Ryder’s attention for a single night, hour, minute.
I dig my fingers into his hair again, more tenderly this time. Because that’s how I feel inside—tender, even sore. Already.
“Can I taste you?” I ask softly.
His pupils are blown out, enormous. He absently draws his thumb across my mouth. “Much as I wanna come in your mouth and watch you swallow—”
“Who says I swallow?” I smile.
“I do. You’d drink every last bit, wouldn’t you?” His thumb moves to the corner of my mouth, wiping away an imaginary smear of cum. The muscle in his jaw jumps. “Much as I’d love to see that, I wanna fuck you more.”
“Okay. Yes. Please.”
“Since when are you polite?”
“Since your dick was on offer.” Reaching between us, I stroke the bulge in his jeans. “You wanna put it inside me, or am I gonna have to do that?”
He growls. A literal growl, a deep, guttural, animal sound that makes my nipples tingle. “Quit playin’. You want my dick, you do the work.”
I’m smiling now, even as my heart spasms. “Rude.”
“C’mon, Billie. You know I can’t keep my hands off you. What do you think the best way to do this is? So we don’t hurt your arm?”
“My arm is barely sore anymore, but it’s probably better to be safe than sorry.” I ponder this for a minute. “I could do a little reverse cowgirl in your lap?”
“I wanna see your face.” His hand wanders to my side and gently squeezes me there. The fact that Ryder’s so openly affectionate with me—that’s no small thing.
The ache inside me pulses. “Why do you have to be so difficult?”
“Ha. Pot, meet kettle. Could you ride me just like this?” His hands are on my thighs now, moving up, up. “Or are your legs too tired?”
“Stop pretending like I’m made of glass. Let’s do this.”
His lips twitch. “Impatient much?”
“You have no idea, Ry.” I somehow manage to unbutton his jeans and pull down his fly with one hand. I reach inside and immediately find his cock.
My stomach flips. “Do you always go commando?”
“I sleep naked, and I was in bed when you texted. Didn’t have time to get fully dressed.”
Curling my fingers around his girth, I feel my stomach flip again.
He’s big. I thumb his head and marvel at how substantial he is. No wonder he wanted to warm me up.
“You were in that much of a rush to get me naked, huh?” I ask. His dick fills my hand as I give him a slow, tight tug.
Ryder’s mouth forms a neat little O. “I needed—I had to know you were okay. Had a feeling…”
“That I shaved?” I thumb his head again.
His chest barrels out on a laugh, even as his nostrils flare. “Something like that. Here, lemme grab—”
“Condoms? In the glove box? Got it.” I smear a bead of precum over his tip before climbing off his lap and opening the glove compartment.
It’s my turn to laugh when I see what’s inside it. “Since when do you smoke cigarettes? And drinking and driving?” I hold up the bottle of tequila. “Tsk-tsk.”
“I may have confiscated Wyatt’s cigarettes after he and Sally got together. Didn’t want him revisiting any vices. And the tequila…I don’t got an excuse for that other than life is hard.”
I grin, putting away the tequila before grabbing a foil packet and shutting the box. “So are you.”
He takes himself in his hand. “You’re up.”
“How am I, like, almost completely naked,” I ask as I open the condom, “while you’re still fully dressed?”
“That’s how I like it. Put the condom on, Billie, and then put me inside you.”
“You best be patient, sir.”
“Or what?”
Leaning over—there’s no center console, just the bench—I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Or I’ll do this.”
I lick his head, lapping up another bit of precum that appears as he pumps his hand. Ryder’s stomach caves, and he draws a pained breath through his teeth.
“I thought you weren’t doing that,” he bites out.
Looking up, I meet his eyes. “But I am doing it. And you’re gonna like it.”
Then I duck my head and take him into my mouth. An inch. Maybe less. His tip is velvety and tastes of salt.
“Aw, fuck.” Now he’s taking my hair in his hands and holding it away from my face so he can watch. “You look good with my dick in your mouth, darlin’. Real good. You gotta be careful because I wanna come inside that sweet little cu—fuck. Fuck, you’re good at this.”
Say you want another round.
Ask me if I want to do this again tomorrow. And the day after that too.
I’m gently sucking on him now, bobbing my head to take him deeper with every up-down motion I make. I gag a little when his hips jerk and he hits the back of my throat.
His hand forms a fist in my hair. “Billie. Quit. I’m too close. Put the condom on.”
I want to keep torturing him—I want to keep making him feel as good as he makes me feel—but I also want him inside me.
So I give his head one last suck, swirling my tongue over his tip, and then I sit up. “Hold yourself.”
He does as I tell him, fisting his cock in his hand, and I’m able to roll on the condom with one hand.
Then he’s practically lifting me back onto his lap. Taking one nipple in his mouth, then the other, he shapes my waist with his hands. I reach down and find him, lining him up at my entrance.
I look up, and our gazes lock.
It’s suddenly very, very quiet inside the cab. Just our breaths between us.
“Don’t tell him. Colt. About this.” I have no idea why I choose this moment to say that. I guess I’m afraid. And yeah, I like the idea of having something that’s just between us, me and Ryder.
Our own secret.
A story that only we know.
Ryder’s hands knead my sides. His blue eyes are thoughtful. “You think that’s the right call?”
“Yes. No. Is it wrong to say that I don’t care?”
Biting his lip, he lifts his hips so that he sinks the tiniest bit inside me. “Everything about this is wrong.”
I nearly choke at the feel of his thick head entering my cunt. “Maybe that’s why it’s so good.”
“Maybe.”
Putting my hand on his shoulder, I lower myself another inch. Wince at the hard pinch between my legs, even as I feel a renewed flutter of desire in my core.
“You okay?” Ryder’s voice is soft.
I nod. “It’s just…very full this way.”
“Don’t try to be a hero.” He cups my breast. Thumbs my nipple. “Go slow. We don’t got anywhere to be.”
Closing my eyes, I focus on breathing. “Are you really gonna fit?”
“I’mma fit just fine.” He chuckles. “Now relax and go slow. You feel fuckin’ amazing. You’re doing so good, Billie.”
I sink a little lower. Gasp. Ryder’s playing with my cunt now, stroking my clit.
“Can you come again?”
“I don’t—not usually.” Lower. I’m split open, coming apart the more I sink onto his girth. “But—with you—maybe. Probably.”
I hear the smile in his voice when he says, “Definitely. Just get all the way down and I’ll take care of the rest, yeah?”
“This is my life.” I’m barely able to speak. The penetration hurts, but I keep going. “I’m not allowed to have anything apart from my family—anything for myself. But this, I’m keeping. I wanna keep it just for us. Just for now.”
He grunts. His hand finds mine on his shoulder, and he twines our fingers. “I hear you. I won’t say a word. This—it’s just for us. Promise me one thing, though?”
My legs are shaking. I can’t hold myself up anymore.
Rocking my hips, I take him the rest of the way inside me so that he’s sunk to the hilt.
A burning stretch has me crying out.
Ryder kisses my shoulder. “Aw, Billie.”
“The promise.” I’m panting. “What is it?”
He kisses my mouth. “Promise you won’t fall in love with me.”
He’s laughing, and now so am I. The hit of levity feels good, even as my heart squeezes.
Too late. I’m falling, Ryder. Plummeting to my death. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Fuck you, you presumptuous asshole,” I reply.
“Would you? Fuck me? Please?”
I bite the corner of his mouth. “Yes, baby.”
I don’t know why I keep putting myself out there with Ryder after he turned me down. He clearly has some major hesitations, and I feel like I should have some sense of self-preservation. I should hold back a little bit.
Here I am, though, calling him baby. What’s more vulnerable than that, using an endearment with someone for the first time?
But judging by the way the look in Ryder’s eyes shifts—it softens, but it’s sharp too, and oh God—he likes that, doesn’t he?
He impales me on a vicious thrust, capturing my cry in a deep, messy kiss.
Holy shit, Ryder Rivers likes it when I call him baby.