Chapter 21 Where the Buffalo Roam
Where the Buffalo Roam
BILLIE
“Your place is—”
“Shitty?” Ryder pops a cracker slathered with blue cheese and honey into his mouth and grins. “I know. I’m sorry, baby. Exhibit A why being the ‘easy’ one sucks sometimes.” He chews thoughtfully for a moment. “A lot of the time.”
I reach for another cracker, but Ryder beats me to it. He smears it with a good bit of the decadently delicious cheese and a dollop of the local honey the hostess at the Homestead Hen insisted we needed.
Ryder told me I was coming home with him after the epic sex we had in the rain. He didn’t ask. Didn’t hesitate. Just said, “I’m taking you home with me,” and that was that.
He rode my horse back to the barn while I drove his truck, the two of us exchanging sexually tinged obscenities through the truck’s open window as thunder rumbled in the distance.
Luckily the barn was deserted, so we were able to dry off somewhat and untack my horse without anyone being the wiser. Ryder called in a to-go order from the Homestead Hen, and I hid out in the truck while he ran inside to get the food. No one spotted us there either.
At least I hope no one spotted us. My phone’s been dead silent since we left a couple hours ago, which I take as a good sign.
Now we’re at his place, a rundown farmhouse—more of a shack, actually—on the far edge of Lucky River Ranch.
“Open your mouth,” Ryder says.
Now I’m the one grinning. “I thought we said dinner first, then blow jobs.”
“Can you not provoke me for once?” His jaw tics. “I’m trying to be a gentleman here. You know, feed and water you and shit before I defile you.”
I lick my lips, glancing at the tequila soda he made me. “I was hoping defilement would be on the menu tonight.”
“Always. Now open your goddamn mouth, Billie.”
I let him feed me the cracker. The combination of salty and sweet, the creaminess of the cheese and the crunch of the cracker, has me moaning.
Ryder’s eyes darken. “Exactly the sound you make when I’m the one in your mouth.”
“You’re delicious too. I told you that.” I swipe my thumb over the corner of my mouth. “Giving you head is a pleasure, truly.”
Ryder’s hand comes down on the table with a thwack. “Billie.”
“Ryder.” I’m smiling so hard my face hurts.
“You gotta give me a chance to catch my breath here, baby.”
“I like it when you call me baby.”
His expression softens. “I like calling you baby.” He picks up another cracker and begins to load it up with cheesy goodness. “I meant what I said earlier. That I don’t want you bein’ with anybody else.”
A ferocious roar of happiness rips through my middle. “Good thing I don’t wanna be with anybody else.”
“We’re doing this.”
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Ryder Rivers?”
“Listen, Billie Wallace, I ain’t askin’. I’m telling you this is what we’re doing—yeah, you’re my girlfriend. Which means I’m your boyfriend.”
I bite my lip. “So bossy. My answer’s yes, by the way.”
Grinning, Ryder leans in and presses a scruffy kiss to my mouth. “Now that that’s settled, you ready for dinner?”
Thunder rumbles overhead, and I glance up at the ceiling. Like the rest of the farmhouse, it’s made of slotted wood, and it looks to be about a hundred years old.
I knew Ryder moved out of Lucky River Ranch’s bunkhouse after Garrett died.
That’s when he and his brothers shuffled housing among the property’s various available structures in an attempt to start living less like heathens and more like adults.
Ryder apparently drew the short straw, because this place is… rustic to say the least.
“Everyone else got a cushy renovated place.” Ryder reads my thoughts as he piles a pair of plates with filet mignon, roasted butternut squash, and truffled mac ’n’ cheese. “I took this spot because, well, no one else would touch it with a ten-foot pole. I didn’t want to cause a fight.”
I sip my cocktail, chest twisting. “Meaning you wanted your brothers to love their new homes because when they’re happy, you’re happy.”
“Something like that.” Ryder’s gaze twinkles as he sets my plate in front of me and holds out a napkin and silverware.
“The house keeps getting pushed down on the list of renovations, but you’ll be happy to hear that I sent Cash a text while I was waiting for the food and told him to send a crew here first thing tomorrow. ”
“Look at you, being a pain in the ass.” I hold up my glass, the smell of the food making my mouth water. “Cheers to that, Ry.”
He chuckles as he taps his glass against mine. “Don’t get too excited, because Cash hasn’t responded yet. But now that I got my girl, I need a nice place to bring her home to.”
“Damn, Ry. You’re good.”
He sits across from me and puts his napkin on his lap. Our eyes meet over the table. He looks, and I look. Several heartbeats pass, and I wonder what I’m supposed to do with all this happiness.
Feel it, probably. Trust it.
Hasn’t that been my message to Ryder all along? To feel his feelings instead of running away from them?
“You’re real fuckin’ beautiful, Billie.” He holds my gaze. “I should’ve told you that sooner, and I’m sorry.”
I swallow hard, not daring to breathe. “This is a big change, Ry. A sudden change. I want to trust you—”
“I want that too. I know it’s gonna take time to earn your trust after everything I’ve said—everything I’ve done—but if you’re willing to give me that time, I’m gonna rise to the occasion. I promise you.”
I’ve never heard Ryder make a promise before. But he’s a Rivers. A cowboy too. And in our world, your word is all you have. You’re either trustworthy or not. People know whether or not you keep your promises.
Ryder is the kind of man who keeps his promises. The fact that he’s making one to me—
My eyes sting. “Of course I’ll give you time.”
He lets out a breath. “Good. Thank fuck. I was worried—”
“That I’d turn you down after all that?” I laugh, using the flat of my palm to wipe my eyes. “Stop.”
“I’d also like to talk to Colt and your daddy about this. Us.”
I turned over that idea in my head on the drive here. And while I get that Ryder wants to have a conversation man-to-man, I also think I should be the one to broach the subject with my brother first.
“Okay, let me try to explain this.” I grab my fork and knife and cut into my steak.
It’s medium rare, just how I like it. “I want Colt to think of me as an adult. I’ll always be his baby sister, but I’m also a grown-ass adult.
I think he’ll appreciate it if I’m the one to talk to him first. It’ll show him I’m more mature than he thinks, and maybe that I actually have my shit together.
Or I’m trying to, at the very least. I need him to respect the choices I make. ”
Ryder nods as he goes to town on his butternut squash. “That’s fair. Long as I can talk to him right after, I’m all right with that.”
“What’s our plan if he blows up?”
Ryder lets out a breath and leans back in his chair. “I love your brother. Have for as long as I can remember. I’d like to think I know him well enough by now to say he’ll…” A long pause. “Well, I think he’ll be happy for us eventually.”
“Oh Lord.”
“We just gotta tread lightly. You know, with everything that happened in the past.”
I furrow my brow. “I was young when all that happened. How did he survive it? Honestly? Her cheating on him like that?”
We all know the broad brush strokes of what went down: Abby, a teacher at Hart County High School where I was a senior, had an affair with the football coach.
Because we live in a small town and secrets don’t stay secret for long, people found out about it pretty quickly.
But I guess my brother was the last to know; he doesn’t like to leave the ranch now and didn’t then either, so it was only when his wife and the football coach were fired that he found out.
A month later, Abby was diagnosed with cancer. Six months after that, she was gone.
“He was not okay for a long time,” Ryder replies. “To be honest, I don’t know how he survived. I mean, I think he just had to. Simple as that. Dean was a baby.”
“We were all babies back then.”
“But we’re not anymore.” Ryder picks up his cocktail. “Whatever happens, we can handle it, okay?”
I push the mac ’n’ cheese around my plate and manage a tight smile. “Timing couldn’t be worse. With me, you know, wanting to quit my job to do something totally off the wall too. I’m worried… If I’m being honest, I’m pretty scared that my family will think I’m an idiot.”
“Why? Because trying to date a guy who doesn’t date is a poor decision?” His mouth twitches as he brings his cocktail to his lips. “The nerve of them to assume we got nothin’ but air between our ears.”
I don’t want to laugh, but I do. “Exactly. I need them to see you how I see you, Ry.”
“You mean you want me to play guitar for them?”
“Yes.” More laughter.
I love how this man goes out of his way to make me laugh. How much easier is life once you stop taking everything so damn seriously?
“You need me to put on a show, I’ll put on a show, darlin’.”
“Really?”
“Really.” There’s a steadiness to the way he meets my eyes now that has my stomach doing several backflips. “You need me, I’m there.”
“Wow,” I breathe. “Wow, Ry, you’re a really great boyfriend for someone who’s never dated before.”
He lifts a massive shoulder. “Maybe I’ve been wantin’ to date for a while, just been too chickenshit to do it. I got a lotta pent-up love to go around.”
My mind catches on the word.
Love.
Oh God, oh God, that’s gotta mean something, doesn’t it?
“Eat your food, Billie.” Ryder nods at my plate. “I’m serious. You’re with me, you don’t go hungry.”
“I’m always hungry when I’m with you. Not for food, but for your gorgeous—”
“Billie.”
“Your gorgeous spirit, Ry. I love your gorgeous spirit.”
His shoulders shake. “Goddamn it, if I choke—”
“I’ll give you mouth-to-mouth.”
“You’ll be doin’ something with that mouth.” His eyes glimmer. “But that’s up to me. Now eat.”
The food is delicious, but the steak is the standout. Although I probably only think that because the Homestead Hen sources their beef from Lucky River Ranch, and I know how hard Ryder and his brothers work to care for their cattle.
“So, this animal therapy program.” I reach across the table to steal a piece of Ryder’s steak because I ate all of mine. “Talk to me about it.”
He pushes his plate toward me, offering me more. “I think it’d be a natural extension of the Wallace Ranch’s equine programs. I know your parents would love the community outreach angle.”
A shiver of excitement darts up my spine as I eat my boyfriend’s steak.
My boyfriend.
“They’d definitely love it, hopefully more than they’d hate losing an accountant.”
“Your Dad can, and will, find another accountant, Billie.”
“I know. I just start to feel stressed thinking about him having to find someone, and then train them, and then hope that the person is trustworthy and isn’t going to, you know, steal our money or anything.”
Ryder lets his head fall to the side as he gives me a look. “The chances of that happening—”
“Aren’t zero.”
“They’re pretty close to it, though. You ever let the fear of getting hit by lightning keep you from fucking in the rain?”
My pulse flutters. Cunt floods with heat. “You’re funny.”
“It’s why you like me so much.”
“I told you, I like you because you have a great dick.”
He chuckles. “Hearing that never gets old. Look, if you’re not into the idea—”
“I’m into the idea, Ry.”
“Then let’s come up with a plan to make it happen.”
My pulse is going absolutely haywire now.
Ryder, if you don’t want me falling head over heels in love with you tonight, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
“You’re serious about helping me.” It’s a question even though I don’t say it that way.
Ryder chews his food, totally oblivious to the earthquake happening inside me.
“Wouldn’t have mentioned the whole thing if I didn’t want to be involved.
I’ve heard of therapy programs existing on ranches in other parts of Texas, but according to my research, there aren’t any programs in Hartsville.
Mom had to take me all the way to Austin for my therapy.
That’s what Wyatt remembers, anyway. Apparently he’d beg to go with us. ”
“He was always obsessed with your mom too.”
Ryder’s gaze softens. “I have yet to meet someone who wasn’t obsessed with my mom.”
“Maybe we name our program after her, then.”
“That’s—” He blinks. Swallows. “That’d be a kind move on your part, baby.”
“Our part. Because this would be our program.”
Ryder nods. “We do make a great fucking team.”
“Do you mean that literally? Because hard agree.”
“Ha. Now who’s the perv?”
“I am because you’re rubbing off on me.”
“And rubbin’ up on you.”
“Care to do that right now?”
Wiping his hands on his napkin, he tosses it onto the table. “Ask and you shall receive. Lemme show you the bedroom.”