Chapter 23 Dead End
Dead End
RYDER
My boots crunch on the gravel driveway. “So the girls open the presents at the shower—”
“They play games too.” Cash glances up at the afternoon sky. “Mollie had me printing these little game cards with pictures on them. You have to guess if the pictures are boobs or baby butts.”
“That’s…weird.” Colt turns his head. “Hey, Dean, this way, buddy! Junie and Ella are gonna be so psyched to see you.”
Wyatt shrugs. “The whole concept of showers is weird.”
“Not when you’re showering with someone else.” Duke is grinning like the Cheshire cat.
“Dude.” Cash shoots him a look.
“Sorry. Just excited to see my girl is all.” He glances through the nearby window. “Looks like we got some good loot.”
I climb the wide front steps that lead to the New House’s front door. “Like I was saying, the girls open the presents, and we—”
“Load them up and get ’em to my place?” Duke nods. “Yup.”
I run a hand over my face. “Y’all really gotta work on letting me finish my thought.”
“Surely they’ll let us have some cake, though?” Cash grabs the doorknob. “A fee for our services?”
Dean sticks out his lower lip. “Daddy said there’d definitely be cake. What if there isn’t any left?”
“Buddy, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Colt grabs his hand.
“I’m gonna be really mad, Dad,” Dean whines. “If the girls get cake and I don’t—”
“I’ll make it right.” Colt closes his eyes, clearly taking a second to gather himself. “Let’s cut it out with the whining in the meantime, okay?”
“I’m not whining.”
Colt sucks a breath through his nose. “Sure you’re not.”
“Here.” Sawyer takes Dean’s hand. “Can you keep a secret?”
That gives Dean pause. “Yeah.”
“I have a stash of popsicles in the freezer inside”—Sawyer nods at the house—“for emergencies like this. I promise I’ll get you one if there’s no cake left, all right?”
Dean is still pouting, but at least he’s climbing the steps now. “Fine.”
“What do you say, Dean?” Colt asks.
“Thank you, Mister Sawyer.”
“Anytime! And look at those manners. Let’s go see everyone, yeah?”
“Thanks, Sawyer,” Colt murmurs.
My brother waves him away. “They listen better when it’s not you telling them what to do. Trust me, I get it.”
My chest cramps. From what I’ve gathered, parenthood is hard. Single parenthood? Even harder. Before Ava showed up, stole his heart, and became his co-parent, Sawyer tried to hide the fact that he was drowning, but we all knew he struggled.
“No good deed.” Colt shakes his head. “I bring him all the way out here thinking he’ll get a kick out of seeing his friends, but instead, he’s being a serious pain in my behind.”
I put a hand on his shoulder, feeling like I’m going to be sick. “Hang in there, man. It’ll get better.”
But not before it gets worse after you find out I’ve been sleeping with your sister.
Neither of us, me nor Billie, have been able to pin down Colt since we decided to tell him. I want to give her the opportunity to have the discussion with him first, but it’s killing me not to say something.
Wheeler’s baby shower is not the time nor the place, though. Duke has been on cloud nine all damn week in anticipation of it. We watched football at Cash’s place and hung with his baby girl Daisy while the girls showered Wheeler with all the love.
My twin got a little emotional after knocking back a couple Shiners. I did too. I’m just so dang happy that he’s happy. Mom and Dad would be proud of the man he’s become and the father he’ll be, and we had to hug it out for a long while after I told him as much.
You’re next, he’d whispered in my ear.
I could only nod. Part of me wanted to tell him to shut the hell up. What if Colt heard that? But another part—a bigger part—wanted to turn to Colt and spill the beans right there and then.
Pretty sure Duke invited Colt for exactly that reason, using the excuse that the girls told Sawyer they miss seeing Dean at preschool. Much as I love my brother for trying to give me a nudge in the right direction, I also don’t want to risk ruining a special day.
But no matter what Colt’s reaction would be, I can only imagine the relief of unburdening myself. Not only because I hate feeling like I’m sneaking around behind my friend’s back, but also because I’m bursting with all this good news that I want to share but can’t.
Y’all, I’m falling in love.
I’m playing guitar again. Also, I started therapy.
I’m waking up for the first time since Mom and Dad died, and it’s a beautiful day.
Who knew acknowledging your feelings turned you into a ginormous cheeseball?
Cash opens the door, and we follow him inside the New House. My chest lifts when I see Billie standing in the corner with Wheeler and Ava and Sally, Mollie gesticulating wildly while she tells them an apparently hysterical story.
Ella and June make a noisy beeline for Dean, yelling his name at the top of their lungs because they’re that excited to see him.
I get it, girls.
Because I wanna yell too when Billie glances across the room and our gazes collide. Happiness expands like a bubble inside my center as she smiles, and I smile too.
She looks real fucking pretty in her skirt and boots, her long hair hanging in loose waves over her shoulders. She’s wearing makeup today, this glittery eyeshadow that makes the green in her hazel eyes really pop.
Her eyes—her face—her whole being is lit up. She’s got a margarita in one hand, and Wheeler holds Billie’s other hand to her pregnant belly.
“You feel that?” Wheeler asks.
Billie laughs. “Amazing! They’re pretty active, huh?”
“Very,” Wheeler replies with a rueful smile. “I’m not sleeping a ton these days, but I like feeling them move around in there. It’s like the world’s best little tickle. Well, it’s actually not so little anymore, especially when they’re kicking me in the ribcage.”
“Or they’re kicking your bladder,” Mollie adds.
Wheeler groans. “Not my favorite bit about being pregnant, that’s for sure.” Glancing up, she smiles when she sees Duke. “Hey!”
“Hey, Blue.” He strides across the room to plant a hugely noisy, totally inappropriate kiss on her mouth. “Y’all having fun?”
“It’s been magic,” Wheeler replies. “The girls truly pulled out all the stops.”
Ava leans her head on Mollie’s shoulder. “It was our pleasure. We can’t wait to meet these little angels.”
“Doc still saying we should expect their arrival around Christmas?” Colt asks.
I don’t miss the way Billie’s expression flickers when she sees her brother.
“Yup. Although with twins, you never really know. My goal is just to make it past thirty-five weeks,” Wheeler says, oblivious to the tension that’s suddenly filled the room.
Or maybe that’s just me imagining the weird energy between me and Billie and her brother.
Speaking of brothers—I’m jealous Duke gets to just kiss his girl like that. In front of everyone. No shame and no drama.
Yeah, this sneaking around shit has gotta end.
It’s all I can do not to grab Billie’s hand. Slip an arm around her waist and bury my nose in her hair. I know she’ll smell like peaches.
I imagine I’d be able to smell my aftershave on her too. Just a hint. I had my mouth all over her at five a.m. this morning—we slept in a little on account of it being the weekend—and she went so far as to accuse me of intentionally giving her beard burn on her thighs.
Guilty.
The pull between us is impossible to ignore. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I curl my fingers around my dad’s knife and head across the room.
“Hey, ladies.” I nod. “Billie.”
Is she blushing? “Hey, Ry. How’s it going?”
“Going all right. Looks like y’all had quite the party.”
Mollie gives me a knowing look. “We’re so glad Billie could make it. Ever since you sent her our way to get fitted for those boots, we’ve developed a bit of a girl crush on her.”
“Hard not to fall for a fellow free spirit,” Ava adds, a glimmer in her eyes.
They know.
Aw, hell, Billie definitely told them about us, didn’t she?
The thought makes me smile. Billie can’t keep it inside either. Why would she? What we have—what we’ve found—should be shared. Celebrated.
I’m gripped by the thought that one day our families will gather to celebrate our milestones. The engagement and the wedding. The promotions and the babies.
The room is filled with familiar voices and the smell of something good—Patsy’s Tex-Mex, if I had to guess—and I fantasize that all those gifts by the fireplace are ours. Mine and Billie’s. Our baby is in her belly, and I’m taking her to our home.
Fucked up? Maybe.
But not as fucked up as keeping this from her brother.
I help the boys load up all the gifts in the back of Duke’s pickup truck. We give him and Wheeler a little sendoff, hollers and whistles filling the chill autumn air.
Everyone starts leaving in pairs. Mollie and Cash are going to relieve her mom, who left the shower early so she could stay with the baby while Cash helped us. Sally and Wyatt were last seen sneaking away on an ATV, passing a thermos between them of what I can only assume is her famous cider.
Junie and Ella insist on taking Dean back to their house for a playdate, which Colt agrees to only after the idea gets the stamp of approval from Ava and Sawyer.
John B comes to pick up Patsy, who tells us there’s leftover enchiladas in the fridge if we get hungry later before they head out too.
Then it’s just me and Billie and Colt standing in the driveway. My heart thumps. I look at Billie, who looks at me.
Now?
She nods. Now.
I get that seasick feeling again when I clear my throat.
“So, Colt. You got a minute?” Billie squints against the ardent late afternoon sunshine.
“Sure.” He puts his hands inside his front pockets. “What’s up?”
The sun catches on her eyes when she looks at me, turning them to pools of gold. My stomach dips hard.
She’s so fucking pretty.
We’re in so much fucking trouble.
Billie clears her throat too. “I’m not sure how else to say this, so I’m just going to, well, come out and say it.” Her eyes dart to her brother. “Colt, Ry and I—we’re together.”
Silence, ice-cold, settles between the three of us.