Chapter 29 One-Eighty
One-Eighty
BILLIE
We get the call at noon on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving that Wheeler is in labor. She’s not due for a few weeks, but apparently it’s super common for twins to be born early.
Ryder and I ended up attending multiple Thanksgiving meals on the actual holiday.
We kicked around the idea of combining our family celebrations, but Patsy had already ordered the food for Lucky River Ranch’s meal, and Mom had already invited a dozen extra guests to their house.
The logistics of trying to combine all that were obviously a nightmare.
So Ry and I had lunch at Mom and Dad’s house with my family, and then we did dinner at the New House with his crew.
All in all, it was a lovely holiday. Mostly because I got to spend the whole day with Ryder.
Wheeler and Duke asked that we wait to visit them until they’re home with the babies, so it’s no surprise that everyone starts sending a zillion texts in the Long Live Cowgirls Thread trying to get the scoop on what’s going down.
MOLLIE Rivers
My bestie is having HER BABIES TODAY OMG OMG OMG
AVA Bartlett
YAY! Thinking of you Wheeler! Sending all the good vibes. Love you!
WHEELER Rankin
Aw, thank y’all. We’re at the hospital and I just got the epidural. Feeling pretty good so far!
AVA Bartlett
The epidural is everything
MOLLIE Rivers
Agreed!
SALLY Rivers
I could not be more excited for y’all. GOOD LUCK!
BILLIE
Ryder and I are over here freaking out in the best way. I hope everything goes well friend! You got this
MOLLIE Rivers
Can we be the first to bring you sushi and tequila pretty please?
WHEELER Rankin
I wouldn’t expect anything less. Love y’all
BILLIE
I’m going to be the favorite aunt
SALLY Rivers
Back off, bitch, that title is MINE
AVA Bartlett
Not if I get it first. Y’all forget how good I am with babies.
MOLLIE Rivers
I think it’s fair to say that I’m the one with the most recent experience in that department. Babies love me!
Actually they love my husband more, but that’s neither here nor there
SALLY Rivers
Y’all, Wyatt just burst into tears when I saw him. It’s the cutest thing ever. He is so excited and happy
BILLIE
I’m bursting into tears reading that. How the heck am I supposed to work with all this excitement happening?!
MOLLIE Rivers
Ditch work and come drink with me
AVA Bartlett
Am I invited?
MOLLIE Rivers
Always. Meet at the studio in half an hour? We can break in my new mah-jongg set
WHEELER Rankin
Have one or five margaritas for me pretty please!
BILLIE
Consider it done
Margaret Rose and Robert Haines are born later that day. Duke assures Ryder on a quick call that everyone is happy and healthy, and that they can’t wait to see us when they’re home from the hospital.
Ryder takes it upon himself to be the very first to visit that weekend.
I stay home in an attempt to give Wheeler and Duke the space they need to adjust to life as a family of four.
As much as it kills me to stay away from those sweet babies, I know I’ll have the opportunity to meet them when the time is right.
While Ryder is gone, I tack up my horse for an easy ride to clear my head.
I may have just interviewed a gal who could very well be Double U Ranch’s very first hire for our animal therapy program, and I’m buzzing with excitement.
Carmen has a background in physical therapy and a master’s degree in social work.
Not only that, she’s one of the brightest lights I’ve ever encountered.
Charismatic and caring, she’s got energy and enthusiasm for days.
I honestly can’t believe I lucked out finding her. I plan to make an official offer on Monday, but in the meantime, I want to ride the wave of goodness that’s just come our way.
I’m back at the barn just as it starts pouring, a cold winter rain that has me shivering as I duck inside. Once my horse is in the crossties, I brush her, the motions meditative and familiar in a comforting way.
I smile. I’m gonna get to do this a lot more often once our program is off the ground. Which is actually gonna happen sooner rather than later because we struck gold and found my replacement for the accounting job after interviewing a mere two people.
I think Benton is going to be a much better fit for the role. A recent grad of Texas Tech, he’s smart as a whip. More importantly, he actually enjoys bookkeeping.
“Hey.”
I whip around, my heart leaping into my throat at the voice behind me. I blink when I see Colt standing beside my horse’s stall, his hand in the front pocket of his jeans.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Colt. You scared the shit out me.”
One side of his mouth kicks up. “That sailor’s mouth of yours. Nice to know some things will never change.”
“Well, yeah. Cussin’ has always been part of my personality.”
“Now where’d you learn to cuss like that?”
“My five foul-mouthed brothers might have something to do with it.”
“Guilty.” Colt steps forward to stand beside me, running a hand over my horse’s flank. “You got a minute?”
“Depends.” I cross my arms, careful to avoid knocking my arms or torso with the dandy brush and currycomb I’m holding. “You gonna be nice?”
His eyes bore into mine in the dim light of the barn. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jackass.”
I don’t know what to say. Am I hearing things? Is this a dream?
“I heard Ryder sticking up for you,” Colt continues.
“That day you were making your pitch to Mom and Dad. I heard the whole thing because I was passing through the hall—heading home to grab Dean—but then I heard you talking about the animal therapy program stuff, and then I heard Ryder chiming in. I know it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it. Y’all sounded…certain. Excited.”
I stare at my older brother, trying my damndest to formulate a coherent response. Part of me is still pissed he’s given us the cold shoulder for so long. Another part wants to just give the guy a hug and beg him to put all this shit behind us, because I’m tired.
So tired of feeling like I did something wrong by falling in love.
Tired of doing life without my older brother.
“I’m glad you were able to listen in,” I say at last. “Ryder…Colt, he’s been so instrumental in helping me formulate this whole escape plan. The one where I don’t have to work a job I hate anymore.”
Colt’s throat works on a swallow. “I’m glad he gave you the push you needed. I hated seeing you so unhappy, Billie. We all did.”
“But I had to be the one to make the move. I know that now. And being with Ryder—I think it gave me the confidence I needed to do that.” I search my brother’s eyes. “I love him, Colt. With all my heart. I love you too, and I miss you like crazy.”
He swallows again, blinking hard. “I’ve missed you too. Both of y’all.”
I wait for him to finish that thought. Wait some more. He’s running his hand down my horse’s side again, and I can tell it takes effort to try and gather himself.
I knew Colt would have a lot to say about me dating his best friend. But I hadn’t realized that he might have a lot to say about other things too.
Things we haven’t talked about yet.
The space between us swims with emotion. I do my best to keep my head above the water, reminding myself to keep breathing.
“Y’all getting together—it wasn’t just the betrayal that cut deep.
” Colt’s voice is husky. “I’m ashamed to admit this, but it also made me sad.
Like I almost couldn’t be happy for y’all because I felt too sorry for myself.
Yes, I know how shitty that is. But I had…
” He puts both hands on the horse and takes a breath.
“I wanted you to know why I’ve been avoiding y’all like I have.
It’s because I want to be happy for you, and I can’t, and that makes me feel like the world’s smallest, most selfish person. ”
The hot press of tears has me closing my eyes.
“You’ve been through so much, Colt. None of it was fair.
None of it was right. I still can’t make sense of it all this many years later.
You’re a good man who always tries to do the right thing, even when it’s hard.
And still all that shit happened to you. ”
“I’m in therapy,” Colt replies. “It’s helping.
But the way I reacted to you and Ryder—it’s made me realize how much work I still have left to do.
While I’m definitely not healed, I can say I genuinely regret how I’ve treated y’all, and I’d love it if you’d—” He hangs his head.
“I’d love it if we could start over. You, me, and Ry.
Because y’all do deserve each other. You’re both bighearted and creative and just all-around excellent human beings.
If I’m being honest, I always pictured you with a guy like that.
Someone who’d never try to tame your wild, who loved you for who you are.
Because I love you like that. Or at least I’ve tried to. ”
Good Lord, since when is Colton Victor Wallace good at giving speeches?
Because dang, that one got me right in my feels.
“You’ve loved me exactly how I needed to be loved, Colt. You’ve got a big heart too. I know you were being protective because you care. A lot. You’ve just been through some shit, and that’s gonna leave a scar.”
He looks up. “I’m sorry. Really sorry, Billie. You deserve better, and so does Ryder.”
“Have you talked to him yet?”
Colt shakes his head. “Wanted to come to you first. If you tell me to fuck off, I’ll fuck off and leave y’all alone. But if you’re willing to give me another chance, which I definitely don’t deserve—”
“Everybody deserves a second chance, Colt.” I manage a watery smile. “Even you.”
He sniffs, his bloodshot eyes wet. “You mean that?”
“Of course I mean that.” I drop the brushes on the floor, making my horse jump, and pull Colt in for a hug.
He tugs me tighter against him. “Thank you,” he whispers.
“I’m glad we talked about this. I understand how you feel. But that doesn’t excuse the awful things you said and did.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Another sniffle. “At first, I thought I was just really, really pissed. But then I dug a little deeper and realized—”
“That your anger was really sadness. Mollie talked about that because she went through the same thing when Garrett died.” I rest my cheek against Colt’s chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it a bigger priority to tell you about me and Ry.
We’ve all been so busy. And to be fair, I had no idea where our relationship was gonna go.
I also had a feeling you’d react the way you did, so… ”
My older brother has the grace to scoff. “So you had some very good reasons why you wanted to keep your relationship on the down-low.”
“Imagine that,” I reply with a smile, letting him go so I can take a step back. “I’m proud of you for being in therapy.”
Colt nods, spearing a hand through his hair. “Ain’t easy, but I’m trying. For Dean. And for myself too.”
“Can you do me another favor, pretty please? Since I got you where I want you.”
Colt chuckles. “You ain’t afraid to push your luck, huh?”
“Nope. Give Lainey a chance, okay? The ranch is gonna benefit from a little refresh, and believe it or not, all these young social media girlies are incredibly savvy when it comes to that stuff.”
“That’s a big ask.”
“Not if you’re willing to be the bigger person.”
“You’re barking up the wrong tree, sister. Clearly I’m petty and small-hearted.”
“Only with me. With Lainey, you can do better.”
He grins, and my heart lifts. “Maybe.”
“Definitely.” I nod at my horse. “Wanna help me put her up, and then grab a beer? Because we have to come up with a game plan for what you’re gonna say to Ryder. I think we need some kind of grand gesture, don’t you?”
“No?”
“Glad we’re on the same page. I think…Hell, I almost think you fuck with him a little bit. Make him laugh hard so he’ll be more likely to forgive you for your terrible fucking behavior.”
Colt runs a hand down his face, shaking his head. “You’re outta your goddamn mind. But I really did show my ass, so…I dunno, maybe I give your plan a try.”
“Perfect.” I gasp. “You know, he did leave his pocketknife on my beside table.”
Colt gives me a look. “Really?”
It’s all I can do not to rub my hands together. “Yes, really.”