12. Ryder
12
RYDER
“Fuck,” Cash says when I spill the beans on everything. “Where’s Crystal now?”
“Packing a bag. Wonderin’ if it’s okay if she can stay here with me for a few days until we can sort this out?”
“Course,” Cash says. “You’re about to be patched in next week. This shit though, Ryder, gotta tell you, it ain’t gonna go down well when I call a meetin’.”
“I know that,” I say. “But I grew up with her. This isn’t just some piece of ass. I care about her, and this asshole’s been hurtin’ her. She tried to deny it, but I know her. He’s threatened her and isolated her from everyone she knows. She’s scared.”
Cash frowns. “Don’t go gettin’ your panties all in a twist. We’ll get her back to the clubhouse, I’ll call a meetin’, and we can go from there.”
“I’m gonna find him, Cash. I’m lettin’ you know that.”
“You’re not stormin’ the Devils Ink MC by yourself and that’s an order.” He stares me down and I’m dutifully reminded of my place in this club. Shit-kicker. If it means walking away, then that’s what I’ll do. I contemplate calling Luca, but I can do that once Crystal is safe.
“Cash, don’t do this to me. I need to stop that fuckin’ asshole before he gets his hooks into her for good. The only way he’ll learn is if he’s dead.”
“Know it, but I also know no good comes of rushin’ in blindly with your anger on full display. You’re not thinkin’ straight and goin’ in there by yourself? That shit will get you killed.”
“Cash. You don’t understan?—”
He rests a hand on my shoulder. “I understand more than you think, son, but I also know that the Devils Ink are sneaky bastards with no remorse. They’ll cut you alive and not blink twice. You’re a good kid. Always the first one here, the last to leave. One day, you’ll make an excellent committee member, but right now, you gotta sit tight and let me handle this.”
“You won’t do shit because Crystal’s a chick and means nothin’ to this club. And I’m still a prospect.” I can’t hold back my anger.
His eyes darken. “That’s not what I said. And watch your tone.”
I start to pace, hands in my hair. Cash watches me. He’s calm because this doesn’t affect him. Who is Crystal to him anyway?
“Ryder, we’re gonna take care of this,” Cash goes on. “You have my word. If you’re patchin’ in and Crystal is your ol’ lady, then that changes things.”
“He’s not gonna get away with this,” I ramble on. “You should see how scared she is of him. She actually tried to defend him because there isn’t a mean bone in her body.” I shake my head, trying to understand where my girl comes from sometimes.
He stops me, holding both my shoulders with his firm grip. “Listen to me, Ryder.” Cash’s tone and his tight hold gets my attention. “If you do anythin’ that I don’t approve of — such as storm outta here with vigilante revenge on the brain — you’re never gonna be allowed back in this club. This isn’t how we handle things. I said I’d take care of it, and I will.”
I swallow hard. “I’m sorry,” I say, forgetting myself. “I just… I love her. I’ve fucked up in so many ways. I haven’t been there for her. If I had, maybe she wouldn’t be in this position right now.”
Cash regards me for a few moments. Then he grunts. “You know what? You remind me of myself when I was your age. Reckless. Impulsive. I loved hard and got burned every damn time. I was a hothead, too. Didn't have any self-control. I got myself into some pretty fucked up situations because I didn’t think things through. Women? They’ll fuck up your head.” He taps the side of my skull. “They will fuck you up in ways you can’t even imagine. If it’s for the right one, then the beatin’ your soul’s gonna take might be worth it. Then again?—”
“She’s worth it,” I grit. “She’s worth every single beatin’, boss. I wouldn’t be comin’ to you if she wasn’t.”
He looks dubious, his brow furrowing as he purses his lips. I know he thinks this is just young love, or some crush that I’ll get over, but he has no clue.
“I can vouch for Crystal,” Bronco says behind us. I didn’t even hear him come in. “We’ve known her for a long time, since we were kids. She’s good. Pure. Whatever Ryder said about her, it’s all true,” he goes on. “You need my help, I’m in.”
I smile gratefully, though Cash still has a hold of me. I’m sure he thinks if he lets go, I’ll storm over to the Devils’ clubhouse, despite his warning. But I’m not stupid. Oh, believe me, I want to go over there and trip all their fucking heads off. But like Cash said, I’ll die quickly and it’ll all be for nothing.
I take a breath. “Nice timin’ as always,” I mutter.
Cash lets go of me. “We understanin’ each other?”
“Yes.” I nod. “I gotta go get Crystal.”
“I meant what I said, Ryder. There are no second chances.” Cash points at me.
“Got it.”
I shoulder bump Bronco on the way out.
“Comin’ with you,” he says, following me.
I groan. “You sure you don’t mean babysittin’?”
“Crystal means a lot to me, too. If this asshole shows up, you’re gonna need backup.”
“I can handle him by myself.”
“I know that. I meant backup to make sure you don’t kill him.”
“Oh, I’m gonna enjoy drawin’ out the torture in this life and the next,” I reply. “He can run, but he can’t hide.”
Bronco jogs to keep up with me. I’m on a mission. “Can’t believe Crystal got involved with a Devils Ink member. What is she thinkin’?”
“She’s naive,” I say. “He was part of an MC back in Phoenix, then moved clubs. Crystal claims she didn’t know, and she looked horrified when I explained the one percent situation?—”
“She didn’t know about it?”
“Says she didn’t, but we all know how headstrong she can be, stubborn too, when she puts her mind to something.”
“Not like Crystal to be blind, though?—”
I turn to him sharply. “He’s been hurtin’ her.” The words feel like acid leaving my tongue. “That son of a bitch put his hands on my sweet girl, and he’s gonna fuckin’ pay the price.”
“I’m with you on that, but we gotta do this the club’s way.”
I tug on the lapels of my cut. “I know that. Not stupid. I heard what he said.”
“Didn’t say you were, but I know you. You’re not the only one who’s headstrong and stubborn.”
I shove him in the shoulder as we reach our sleds. “Shut the fuck up and follow me.”
I stare at the mess in Crystal’s apartment, stunned for a second. There’s stuff scattered everywhere. Her suitcase is open on the floor; her things strewn across it. A lamp on the side table in the lounge is shattered across the hardwood.
“Crystal?” I yell. I race into the bedroom. It’s the same story there. Her bag is on the floor, the contents still inside. I reach down and pick up her cell phone.
“Holy shit,” Bronco mutters. He turns away, dialing someone as I zone out.
“She’s gone,” I whisper. “She can’t be…”
I close my fingers around her phone, like somehow that will make her magically appear. She said he wasn’t going to be home until tonight. I let her go. I let her walk into the lion’s den without thinking.
Panic rises through me as I continue to search, knowing in my heart she isn’t here.
“Bronco!” I yell.
He ends his conversation and jogs into the bathroom. “Fuck, she’s not here. She’s not here! That fuckin’ bastard took her!”
“We’ll find her,” he says. “We’ll go back to the clubhouse, round up the boys.”
“No! We have to go now, to their clubhouse. I’ll kill them all.”
“Think.” Bronco grips my bicep, but I shrug out of his hold. “You know what Cash said.”
“That was before she was kidnapped!” I growl.
“Ryder.” He tugs more firmly. “For fuck’s sake, don’t do this. Jett can check security?—”
“It’s him. This has asshole written all over it.”
“So we’ll deal. There is strength in numbers.”
I grab the nearest thing I can find and hurl it into the shower. The glass smashes everywhere. “He’ll fuckin’ kill her!”
“Not if we get to him first. I called Cash, he’s gonna send Hawk over to watch the apartment, as well as Chains. Nobody’s gonna get past those guys if he comes back, or if anyone else shows up, they’ll be here.”
“He must’ve come home early and found her packin’. Holy fuck.” I’m in a state of panic as I gather up her things and stuff them back into the hold-all. “She’s gonna need her things when I get her back. It’s gettin’ cold out, I should pack a sweater.”
“Dude,” Bronco says. “It’s gonna be okay.”
I know I’m rambling, but I can’t help it. Crystal’s missing, and the asshole she was leaving has her.
I walk out of the bathroom and that’s when I see it. Bloodstains. There’s fucking bloodstains on the bottom of the comforter. “Fuck no, fuck !”
Bronco mutters a spring of profanities behind me as I clutch the end of the comforter in my palm. “He made her bleed.”
“Bud, let’s get outta here, head back to church. Meetin’s been called,” Bronco says.
I don’t remember leaving the apartment, or passing Hawk and Chains in the hallway. Nor do I know how I drove to the clubhouse without diverting over into Devils Ink territory. All I can think about is Crystal.
Where is she?
What did that asshole do to her?
And then all the things I’m going to do to him when I get my hands on him.
When we get inside, Cash and the rest of the members — Jett, Harlem, Priest, Tag and Riot — all look up.
Cash ushers me to sit down, and I do out of respect. My knee bounces as he begins talking. “Looks like we’ve got a problem on our hands,” he starts. “Hawk called me from Crystal’s apartment. We know she’s been probably been hurt and kidnapped?—”
“Probably?” I bark. “There’s no probably about it!”
Bronco kicks my shin under the table.
“I know tensions are high.” Cash stares me down. “But if you wanna keep sittin’ in that chair, son, you better learn to zip it.”
I feel the rage building deep inside me, but somehow I manage to put a lid on it.
“This asshole got a death wish?” Harlem asks from down the table.
“Probably thinks she means nothin’ to him, therefore the club won’t retaliate,” Priest cuts in.
“Makes sense,” Riot agrees. “Though, he might be rethinkin’ that decision when we show up.”
Harlem focuses his attention on me. “So, she does mean somethin’ to you?”
“She’s important to both of us,” Bronco says when I clench my fists. “We grew up with her. She’s innocent. I don’t know exactly how she got caught up in all of this, but we’ve gotta help get her back.”
“Never said we weren’t gonna do that.” Harlem holds his hands up. “Nevada and JJ went to drive by the Devils’ clubhouse in the truck, get a scope on what’s goin’ down.”
Nevada is one of the newer prospects, and toting for the next position around the table. JJ is one of the guys patched in, but doesn’t hold a place around the committee table.
Cash appointed Harlem as his VP, but Harlem’s only taking the position temporarily. Said he likes being the club’s Enforcer and wants to keep it that way. So far, nobody has stepped up to the plate, but my guess is Hawk may be the next VP.
“As far as I can tell, he’s got a room at the club, but no other hideouts,” Jett informs us. “Security footage showed him…”
I glance in his direction when he trails off. “Showed him what?”
He swallows hard, his gaze moving to Cash. “Carryin’ Crystal in his arms to his truck.”
I feel faint. Is it possible to still be aware of your surroundings, but completely black out at the same time? “Was sh-she… is she a-alive?”
“I’m gonna be honest, brother,” Jett says. “I couldn’t tell from the footage. The thing is, he would’ve fled the scene and left the body if he’d killed her.”
He doesn’t know that. Nobody could know that! I nod. I have to believe that she is, because if he’s killed her, I’ll never forgive myself.
Why the fuck did I let her go home by herself? I was too enraged to see straight, and now she’s gone.
“So what’s the plan?” Tag grunts. “We're gonna need numbers.”
“Or we can make a bargain with Razor,” Priest suggests.
“We don’t bargain.” Cash points at him. “If he knows we want Crystal, he’ll kill her just to get to us.”
From what I’ve heard about this piece of shit, Cash isn’t far off.
“Need the element of surprise,” Harlem says. “Catch them off guard. We’ve got numbers, maybe not as many as them, but we can call in some favors. The Irish always need allies.”
The Irish mafia run most of the city’s underworld, and keep the Italian mob out of town. We’ve never had dealings with them yet, but that sure looks like it’s about to change.
“So, we’re gonna go get her, right? Is that the plan?” I look from one to the other.
“First gotta be sure that she’s there,” Priest points out. He turns to Jett.
“Already on it,” Jett says. “It’s gonna take some work, but if I can tap into the security cameras near the clubhouse, I’ll be able to see if that’s where he took her.”
“Fuck,” I mutter. “And if he hasn’t?”
All the faces around the table turn to look at me. We all know what it means: it could be finding a needle in a haystack. If I focus on what Crystal could be doing right now, I know I’ll go out of my mind.
Why has it taken me until now to realize that Crystal is the one?
Why am I always a day late and a dollar short?
It’s the story of my goddamn life.
Now she’s hurt because of me. I should’ve put a stop to this. I could have ended this a lot sooner. If I’d taken the time to snoop when I first thought about it, then she may not be in this mess right now.
The rage I feel inside is nuclear. Luca — he doesn’t even know anything yet. Her parents? They’re going to freak the fuck out.
I take a breath. The only thing that doesn’t have me storming out of here and over to that motherfucking clubhouse is that they may hurt Crystal if they see us coming. I’ll admit, it’s hard to be rational when it’s not just your life flashing before your eyes, it’s the one you care about the most.
“If he hasn’t taken her there, we will start a massive search,” Bronco says. “Can’t even rule out the pigs on this one.”
A few mutters ring out around the members. None of us are fond of the police, but sometimes they do have their place and we’ll use them as a last resort.
“Like Cash said, Razor will hurt Crystal just to get to us,” Harlem says across the table. “We gotta play this right to make sure she doesn’t get hurt.”
What is the right fucking way? How am I supposed to know what to do?
“If we don’t act soon, fuck knows what he’s gonna do to her. We know about their ties to trafficking. This fucker is unstable, he’ll put her on a bus out to nowhere just to get back at her,” I say. “Then that’ll be that?—”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Cash has always had an authoritative tone that I usually have no choice but to listen to. But now I just want to knock his head clean off his shoulders. This is the woman I love. And we’re just sitting around here talking about it. “This is what’s gonna happen. Nevada and JJ will report back shortly. Jett’s gonna check the security cameras around the clubhouse, then we’re gonna move. We’re gonna bring her back, son.”
I’m desperate. Fucking desperate.
I should call Luca. He’d want to know.
But the only thing that stops me is the idea that Rifle could’ve already kil— No! No. I can’t think like that. I don’t know how, but I would feel it. If Crystal wasn’t breathing the same air as me, I would know. I’m sure of it.
We might have had our ups and downs over the years, but we’ve always had a connection I can’t fully explain. This may haunt me for the rest of my life, but what will really stick the knife in is not getting to her when I had the chance. I will never forgive myself for that. Leaving her alone. Knowing he was out there, and I still rode away to come and talk to Cash. All the while, he was there, hurting her. He made her bleed. There is nothing that anyone can say or do that’s going to change the fact. Seeing her blood will haunt me for the rest of my days. My beautiful princess.
There is nowhere that this prick can hide that I won’t find him. And if that means going to jail, so be it. I’ve never cared about my life that much, and I would certainly put mine on the line to save hers.
It can’t be too late.
I’m coming, Crystal.
Just hold on.