14. Crystal
14
CRYSTAL
I feel his arms wrap around me and surrender.
His voice. I hear his voice. It’s like music to my soul.
Even if I can’t make out the words, I know it’s Ryder. He’s here. He found me, just like I knew he would.
I fight through the pain, unsure of where I am as I dip in and out of consciousness. The beating Jimmy gave me was severe, even if I was out of it for most of what he put me through.
I swear I feel his arms around me, but maybe I’m hallucinating. “Hold on, Sugar, I’m here. Help is on the way.”
“Holy fuckin’ shit,” another man says.
“Hawk, she needs a fuckin’ doctor, can’t wait for an ambulance,” Ryder barks. I’ve never heard him sound so panicked.
“Get in the back and buckle up,” Hawk says. “Ochsner isn’t far from here.”
“Fuckin’ Razor. He’s to blame for this.” I think it’s Cash, but I can’t be sure. “Well, he’s gonna have some unhappy criminal friends when they come back to find their shipment in the hands of the feds.”
“Rifle is a slippery fuck,” Ryder says. “Ran like a goddamn coward.”
“Your focus now is on your girl,” Cash says. “We’ll find Rifle, and when we do, we’ll save him for you to finish off. That’s a promise.”
Ryder grunts, but puts an arm gently around me. “He better run as far away as he can while he has the chance.”
“How’s she holdin’ up?” Hawk asks. “She breathin’?”
“Yeah, she’s breathin’. The girl in her cell, Gia, said she’d just been brought in a few hours ago. She tried to help her, but nobody came when she called for help,” Ryder says. “They just shoved her in there after a beatin’ like that and she was left to suffer.”
“What the fuck did they do to her hair?” Cash drops his voice.
My hair?
I try to blink my eyes open, but they won’t cooperate. Maybe I didn’t hear him properly? Why would my hair be an issue?
“I d-don’t kn-know.” Ryder’s stuttering. That can’t be good. He only stutters when he’s nervous. Then again, I could be dreaming. Maybe I’m back in the cell, waiting for my miserable end.
I part my lips. “Am I alive?”
All the talking stops. “Yeah, Sugar, you’re gonna be okay,” Ryder soothes.
“Water,” I whisper.
Ryder shifts, cussing under his breath as he cradles my head, then holds a plastic water bottle to my mouth. “Take a sip, baby. That’s it, that’s a good girl.”
It stings, but I manage a few mouthfuls. I realize I can’t open my eyes because one is glued shut. The other partly opens and everything is a blur. “I can’t see.” I wipe the back of my hand over my mouth. “Ryder, why can’t I see?”
“I’m here, Sugar. Never gonna let you go again. Nobody is ever gonna touch you again.”
“Why can’t I see anything?” I plead again.
“Gonna fuckin’ rip his fuckin’ eyeballs out,” Cash mutters.
Ryder shifts again, my head lolling against his shoulder. “You were hurt. You just need to rest, angel. Goin’ to the hospital, they’ll take good care of you.”
“I want to go home.”
“We will soon, baby. I promise. I called Luca and your parents, they’re on their way with Casey.”
“My p-parents?”
“Yes, they’re on a plane. Luca already left, he’ll be here soon.”
“No, Ryder.” I don’t even finish the sentence before I feel a heavy weight pull me under. I can’t be sure, but I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head.
“… broken eye socket, fractured cheek, she suffered multiple broken ribs, and a cracked trapezium. The CAT scan showed no other signs of injury to her brain. She has multiple cuts and bruises, as you can all see, and she’s concussed. I’d like her to stay for observation for another day, but I’m confident she’ll make a full recovery,” the doctor says. “But it will be a slow process. Sedation was necessary so we could perform the CAT scan safely?—”
“And her eyesight?” Ryder interrupts. “She couldn’t see in the car. Will she get her full eyesight back?”
“The blow to the eye socket caused the right eye to swell. Once the eye socket heals, we should expect full eyesight to return in the coming weeks. I would suspect her blurred vision was because of the light, and the fact she was concussed.”
Weeks?
“What about… other injuries?” I hear Ryder ask. Then he clears his throat “Was she…r-raped?”
“We will need her full permission to perform a rape kit,” the doctor says. “When she regains consciousness and can fill us in on what she knows, we can go from there. The police will be here to question her.”
“Holy shit,” Ryder whispers. “I don’t believe this.”
“Thanks, doc,” Cash says.
I try to move, but I’m so weak. So tired. “Ryd?” I whisper. “Ryder?”
“Fuck.” I hear him move and then his hands are on me. One knuckle caresses my cheek, the other hand strokes my shoulder.
“I’ll call a nurse,” I hear a woman’s voice say. I don’t know who it is.
I open my good eye and try to sit up. Why is my other eye not working?
“No, Crys, baby, wait for the nurse,” Ryder says.
“Where am I?” I stammer.
“You’re in the hospital.” I feel the bed dip as he sits next to me. “You were kidnapped and…”
I open my mouth when he pauses, but no words come out.
“It’s okay, Ryder,” the woman’s voice whispers. I still can’t make out who it is.
“I can’t. I can’t see her like this, Jas.” Jas? Oh, she works for the club as their accountant. I met her once, briefly.
What strikes me the most is how stricken Ryder’s voice sounds. He’s broken.
“I’ll stay with her. Why don’t you step out and have a break?”
“No,” Ryder says. “I’m not leavin’ her.”
“It’s time we got some fresh air, and grab a coffee before Crystal’s parents arrive,” Cash says. “She’ll be safe. Cops are on the door, and half the club is in the waitin’ room. Nobody’s gettin’ in here that isn’t allowed.”
“Torin?” I call. “Where’s Torin?”
“He’s out in the waitin’ room,” Ryder comes back to me, planting a kiss on my forehead. “I can get him for you if you’d like?”
“She’s still woozy from the drugs,” Jas says. “I’ll keep her company. Go. You need to have a break, like Cash said.”
“I’ll be right outside,” Ryder whispers into my hair.
I mumble something, but it’s barely coherent.
“Jas?” I mutter when I hear the door click. I shift to look at her. Everything is still really fuzzy.
I feel her clutch my hands. “Is this real? Am I dreaming? I keep thinking I’m still in that cell, cold and bleeding.”
“No.” She tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re safe, and you’re a fighter, girl. I’ll give you that. Your parents, brother and sister will be here soon. Cash asked me to come, to help. If I’m making you uncomfortable, I can get Bronco.”
“It’s fine.” It hurts to talk. “But I need to pee.”
“I should get a nurse, just in case.”
“Thanks.”
The nurse comes in and helps me out of bed. Apparently I can’t walk because I broke a boat load of bones and I’m woozy and unsteady, so she wheels me to the adjoining bathroom.
“I’m fine from here,” I tell her.
“Are you sure?” The nurse’s voice is uneasy.
I nod. “I’m fine. Honestly.” The last thing I want is for someone I don’t know watching me pee.
She looks dubious but helps me stand. “Hold onto the rails and call me if you need me. I’ll be right outside.”
I thank her, doing my business quickly as I dread what I’ve been putting off since I woke up: looking in the mirror.
I take a breath. Running the water and washing my hands as I stare down at the sink.
When I finally lift my head, I don’t recognize the face that stares back at me Maybe it’s because I can’t really see either...
She’s… she’s bloodied. Bruised. One eye is closed and swollen. My entire face is a fucking mess. My lip split, bruises are already forming in a mixture of snarly red and purple.
And my hair… my hair is fucking short! I lean closer to get a better look. It’s lopsided. My long mane; my pride and joy… it’s a bird's nest.
I start to cry, a sob leaving my throat as I stare at the stranger in the mirror. I cling to the sink, but give up and fall to my knees right as the door pushes open.
The nurse and Jas run in. “Oh, my God!” they both cry, rushing at me.
I collapse in a heap sobbing. Curling myself under, I start to rock. He did this to me.
Fucking Jimmy! He knew how much I loved my hair, how much pride I took in my appearance. It was his favorite thing, too, and now it’s all gone.
I fucking hate him!
“No!” I sob. “Why? Why did he do this to me?” I’m a pathetic mess.
This man bangs me up, takes my dignity, locks me in a cell while selling me to a sex trafficking ring, leaves me for dead, and I’m crying about my hair?
“Shhh, it’s okay!” Jas soothes. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“I’ll call for help,” the nurse says.
“Holy shit!” I hear Torin — Bronco — and then I’m being scooped up into his arms. “I got you, babydoll. I got you.”
“Careful,” Jas tells him. “She’s got broken bones.”
“Go get Ryder,” he says out of the side of his mouth.
“No!” I yell, my voice cracking. “Don’t let him back in this room. Please, Jas, please !”
“Honey, I can’t keep Ryder out,” Jas whispers. “He won’t listen to me.”
I turn to Bronco. “Bronco, please don’t let him. Please, I’m ugly. I’m so fucking ugly!” I sob into his cut, clutching onto him as I hear a commotion at the door.
“Everyone, out!” the doctor orders.
“Crystal!” Ryder pushes his way into the room.
I put my head in my hands and sob some more, turning away from him. “No.”
Bronco settles me back into the bed as Ryder takes his place. He pulls me into his arms, but I refuse to look at him.
“She freaked out in the bathroom,” Jas explains. “I think… I think we need to give her some space.”
“If you don’t move out of this room right now, I’ll have the officer outside remove you,” the doc warns.
“Everyone, out!” Cash orders. “Now!”
“I’m stayin’,” Ryder says firmly. His mouth at my ear, he continues, “Baby, you’re okay. I’m here. You don’t have to hide from me. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Bruises will heal. You won’t be?—”
“Look what he did to me!” I yell.
He shushes me softly, kissing the side of my head as the room grows quiet with just us, the nurse and the doctor. “Don’t worry about that. Hair will grow back, baby.”
“Why?” Tears stream down my face. “Why would he do this to me?” But I already know why.
To humiliate me. To make me feel like I’m worthless. His final victory to hold power over me. Well, fuck him.
Ryder’s voice is so soft and sincere when he says, “That doesn’t matter. None of it matters. Just need to rest. That’s all I need you to do right now, okay?”
I nod meekly. “I’m sorry.”
“What? Why are you sorry, Sugar?” He pulls me farther into his arms as the doctor and nurse hover close by. I think the only reason they don’t kick him out is because he’s calming me down.
“I should have left him when he did it the first time.”
“He hit you?”
I never got around to actually admitting it when he questioned me in my classroom; he just put two and two together. “It was a slap, but then he got more aggressive. I thought he’d get better with the new job… I thought that would make him happy…”
I close my eyes, resting against his chest. It feels so much safer with him here.
He says something to the doctor, but I can’t make it out. I need to sleep.
Tiredness washes over me, and I struggle to keep my eyes open.
“Just rest,” Ryder says, warmth in his tone that comforts me more than he’ll ever know.
“I love you,” I whisper.
I could be wrong, but I’m sure I hear him say, “I love you, too.”
Five days later
“Mom, I can do it,” I say, but my mother won’t hear it. She and Dad got here in record time and rented an Airbnb for the next few weeks. My sister, Casey, came too and hasn’t left my side.
My mom is being fussy, not letting me do anything. I can understand. Seeing her daughter like this can’t be easy, but holding a glass to my mouth isn’t a hardship.
“You broke your wrist, I’m just trying to help,” Mom replies.
“Be nice,” Casey tells me. “You’re an outpatient now, so I’d be making the most of the hired help.”
I poke my tongue out at my sister and she smiles. I can see the look in her eyes; it’s the same one everyone has been giving me since they saw me. Pity. I’ll take that over revulsion.
The cops came and interviewed me, and I told them everything. They haven’t found Jimmy. They got a search warrant for the Devils Ink clubhouse, but so far no charges have been laid. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about the girls in that storage facility. Where were they planning on sending us?
I try not to think about it, but every time I close my eyes, I see his enraged face. The blows that kept coming because I had the audacity to leave him.
Without Ryder and the club, I’d either be dead, or wishing I was.
I also overheard my dad talking to Ryder for the first time outside when they thought I was asleep…
“We’ve had our differences in the past, but Luca told me what you did, and I can never thank you enough,” Dad says, shocking the socks off me. “Without your help, she’d have been shipped off to God knows where, and we would likely have never seen her again.” My dad’s voice cracks and I’ve never, ever heard him talk like this.
“She means a lot to me, but I would’ve done it anyway. Nobody should ever suffer at the hands of those bastards,” Ryder says. “Luckily we have a guy at the clubhouse who’s a better hacker than he is a treasurer. We were able to follow Jimmy through parts of the city on traffic cameras, so we knew he wasn't at the Devils’ clubhouse.”
Of course, Razor and the club are denying any knowledge of the warehouse, or the girls.
“But it was your text message that gave you the location,” Dad says. “Your quick thinking got our baby back.”
“I’m just glad she’s okay,” Ryder replies. “We acted quickly. The shipment was leaving the docks tomorrow, though we didn’t know that at the time.”
I don’t know what happens next because I can’t see, but it sounds as if they’re hugging. The muffled gratification of my dad, and the sound of him thumping Ryder on the back. “You don’t know what you’ve done for our family. Words won’t ever be enough.”
All Ryder has ever wanted is my parents' approval. I don’t know why; they don’t deserve it after how they treated him when we were growing up.
“I’ve been a jackass in the past,” Dad says. “I was stubborn and set in my ways. I know that you were just a kid. When we caught you in Crystal’s room that night ? —”
“It’s okay,” Ryder interrupts. “It’s water under the bridge. Just know that nothing happened. I would never have done something like that. I respected Crystal too much.”
“We know that now. I was just too angry and pig-headed at the time to see sense. I panicked. Crystal was our miracle baby, until we had Casey four years later. She was our princess,” Dad goes on. “When she was born, she almost died. The doctors didn’t know if she’d live or die. She had a defect in her heart…”
I feel the tears when I hear my dad getting choked up. I’ve had a couple of complications over the years, but nothing crazy.
“It’s okay, Mr. Cartwright, I get it. She’s your baby, and she always will be. I respect that. Someday, if I have a kid of my own, I hope I’m half the dad you are. You protected your kids. I wish I had that kind of parent in my life growin’ up, maybe then things would’ve turned out differently for me.”
If I have a kid of my own? Why do I suddenly see myself pregnant with his kids — a whole bunch of them.
“Call me Russell, please. And that’s just it,” Dad says. “We took our prejudices out on you. Your father stole a lot of money from us and other good people, and I took that out on an innocent kid. I didn’t just come to this decision today. It’s haunted me for years, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I truly am sorry for treating you that way. I’m ashamed, and nothing you say or do can make me feel good about what I did.”
“I appreciate that. But if I’d have found a boy in my daughter's room dressed like that, I’d have my shotgun out.”
Of course, it’s just like Ryder to make everything okay.
They both laugh.
Laugh?
My dad and Ryder laughing? I don’t understand what’s going on, but I also don’t have the strength to overthink it. What’s important is they’re getting along. I can have a relationship with my parents again. They don’t hate Ryder…
I have a lot to be grateful for. I may be a mess right now, and I’ll likely never trust anyone ever again, but I have the support of my family, Ryder, and the club.
Without them, I dread to think where I’d be.
I have so many regrets, but the main one is that I should’ve asked for help when the red flags waved right in front of my face. I knew Jimmy was isolating me, and I let him. I let him because I thought that was love. I had no clue until it was too late, and I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen to me again. He may have broken my spirit, but I’ll put myself back together again. I’m sure I will. The bruises will heal, as will the broken bones, and my hair will grow back. But one thing that breaks me more than anything is the trust; the trust is gone. This man was supposed to love and protect me. He failed. He failed on more than one account. I don’t even care what the club does to him when they get hold of him.
The entire Devils Ink MC is in disarray because of the raid. I know the Rebels are annoyed because they wanted to be the ones to raid the Devils Ink, but once the police got involved, that proved difficult. I know Ryder has been like a dog with a bone, spending every waking minute when he’s not with me trying to track Jimmy down. The man has fled. What made Cash even more mad? Razor texted him letting him know this wasn’t the end of it and that he’d pay for involving the cops. He also said he’d take Rifle back in a heartbeat. That he knew what it took to be a real biker and put a bitch in her place.
I know he’s just stirring shit, and the Rebels will get their payback. And I hope they do, because Jimmy needs to be stopped. If he did it to me, he’ll do it to someone else.
I’ll never be able to thank the club enough, and Cash for taking charge of the situation. While I want Jimmy to suffer, I’m terrified of Ryder getting caught and going to jail.
I’m terrified of Jimmy finding me again, but the other things weigh more heavily.
I never wanted to bring any of this mayhem to anyone’s doorstep, but I realize that keeping things from the people who care about me is never a good thing. It only ends in disaster.
My mom and Casey chat about all the things we’re going to do together since my parents are staying to help me recover. It’s hard walking, and doing things one handed because of my broken wrist, but I’m taking each day at a time. I wanted to lay in a heap, feeling sorry for myself, and never come out of the bedroom. But that isn’t who I am. I’ve always been the life of the party: bubbly, energetic and — at least in my eyes — hilariously funny. It’ll take time to rebuild all of that. Maybe that’s what scares me the most. Jimmy tried to take everything from me, and he almost succeeded. He kicked me like a broken dog; left me for dead when he was done with me. He didn’t give a shit. He just wanted revenge because of his jealousy, and his addiction. None of that is my fault.
At least now I never have to see him again.
I hope he rots in hell.