15. Ryder
15
RYDER
“Fled?” I balk. “Right. This is fuckin’ fucked is what it is.” I don’t mean to bark at my brothers, but this shit is crazy. Rifle has just dropped off the face of the planet, and what’s more? The fucking feds are still searching the Devils Ink clubhouse. Meanwhile, Razor is laughing at us because he covered his tracks. Somehow, none of this leads back to him, and that has me even more riled up. There will be consequences, of course, because someone paid money for those girls, and now they don’t have a shipment. It makes my anger boil when I think about the fate for Crystal, and all those girls, held captive there.
It’s been a week since Crystal got out of the hospital, and nobody has seen head nor heard of fucking Jimmy.
“Best thing you can do is be there for Crystal,” Bronco says. “Plus, Cash is gonna patch you in, and that’ll change things around here, not just within the club — he’ll look after you, because you’ve always looked after this club.”
“I’m not sure he’ll still feel the same way now the club got dragged into this.” I palm the back of my neck. “Even if the feds do look like the real heroes, what matters more is that those girls got to safety.”
“It’s fucked.”
“Once I’m patched in and adding to club coffers, it’ll change things dramatically,” I go on. “It’ll mean I can get a place, somewhere Crystal can be safe, if that’s what she wants.”
“You don’t want her goin’ back to that apartment, do you?”
I shake my head. “Not sayin’ I can afford the nicest area in New Orleans, but I’ll do what I have to do. She can stay there, and I can keep my room here. I don’t ever want her to go back to that apartment where he attacked her.”
He gives me a side-eye. “Have you talked about that with Crys?”
I shake my head. “Her parents are stayin’ at some swanky Airbnb so they can help take care of her. I gotta say, her parents stepped up. I truly thought they’d blame my ass for this. Helped that Luca could vouch I had nothin’ to do with the Devils.”
“Why would they do that? You’re the one that got her out, and a hundred other girls.”
“He’s with an MC, and so am I. They could’ve put two and two together and condemned the Rebels, too?—”
“I think Cash had a word in her dad’s ear, that might have somethin’ to do with his change of heart,” Bronco says.
I run a palm over my face. “She looks… so fuckin’ sad. I can’t imagine how she’s even copin’ inside after sufferin’ at that bastard's hands.”
“She’s tough, a lot tougher than she looks.”
“She is, but she’s devastated about her hair. She wants to get a wig.”
After she cried in my arms that day at the hospital, I arranged for a hairdresser to come and make some kind of a style out of what she had left. It’s really fucking short, and she hates it, but it’s not jagged anymore, and to me, it looks decent. Crystal’s mane was her pride and joy, and she had beautiful golden locks, but like I told her; hair grows back.
Bronco takes a pull on the neck of his beer. “You could get her some extensions?”
I frown. “What the fuck are those?”
Bronco rolls his eyes. “Hair extensions. For now, until her own hair grows.” He taps on his phone, then hands it to me to show me images of strips of hair held together by tape. “It’s a thing. Loads of chick’s have ’em now and you wouldn’t even know it’s fake hair.”
Would this make her happy? It doesn’t matter to me how she looks. Hell, she could shave her head entirely and I wouldn’t give a shit. But it’s her confidence that’s lacking. I want her to feel secure and loved and supported. If I can do this for her, then I will. I’ll do anything to make it better.
“I’ll broach the subject. She’s fragile at the moment, but also talkin’ about bustin’ out of the Airbnb to have a break from her folks.” I smile at that idea. My feisty girl. She’s still in there.
“That’s understandable,” Bronco muses, well aware of her parents’ over-protectiveness.
“They’re concerned, and they have every right to be. I just hope they don’t convince her to leave town.”
“You think she’ll do that?” he asks. “It may be too soon to know. I don’t think Crystal is gonna know what she wants for a little while.”
I clear my throat. “We’ve talked.”
“What does that mean?”
“We… we love each other.”
He whacks me on the shoulder hard. “About fuckin’ time you admitted it, asswipe.”
I shove him back, grinning all the while. “It’s early days, but we’ve both been dancin’ around this for a while now. When she’s ready, I’m here for her.”
Bronco snorts. “You told her that?”
“If she doesn’t know that by now, we’re in deep trouble.”
My phone dings with a text and my eyebrows pinch together when I see it’s Crystal.
Crystal
Ryd, please come and rescue me. Mom and Dad won’t let me out of their sight, and Casey is no better. I need a break
Me
I think I kinda agree with your parents on this one, Sugar
Crystal
Please, Ryd, take me for a drive. Anything
Me
With broken bones? Yeah, I don’t think so
Crystal
I didn’t mean on the motorcycle
Me
Is your dad gonna punch me again?
Crystal
I think you’ve won him over
I guess I could take my truck…
Me
Are you sure you feel up to it?
Crystal
Yes! Please
Me
I’ll be there in twenty minutes
I slide my stool back from the bar.
Bronco glances at me. “You good?”
“Gonna go get my girl, take her for a drive. She’s gettin’ antsy stuck inside.”
He gives me a chin lift. “Later.”
I don’t want to push my luck with Crystal’s parents, but if Crystal needs me then I’m here. I’ve never had her dad speak to me the way he did the other day, and while it was genuine, he could’ve just been in the moment. His daughter had just been rescued from a trafficking ring. Even through his prior prejudices against me, he could see how much I care for his daughter. Whether that now includes her wanting to hang out with me when she’s supposed to be recovering is anyone’s guess. This time, I’m not gonna walk away. Crystal is an adult now, and she can make her own decisions. What I don’t want her to do is make a wrong one and jump into my arms because she feels as if she owes me. She owes me shit. In fact, I meant what I said to Bronco. Every damn word.
I’ll get a place. Somewhere with no connection to her trauma. This isn’t about me. I love her, but things can feel different in the heat of the moment. I don’t want Crystal thinking she owes me; that’s my biggest fear.
When I meet her mom at the door, she pulls me into a hug. I’m shaken to my very foundations. “I never got to thank you properly at the hospital,” she says, her voice low. “I don’t even know what to say, Ryder, except thank you.”
When I pull back, I’m lost for words for a few moments. “I… Uh, you don’t have to keep thankin’ me. I care about Crystal, I always have. I can only imagine how these operations run and knew we were on borrowed time,” I explain. “I’m just glad we found her.” If we hadn’t. I’d spend the rest of my life looking for her .
She blots her eyes with a balled-up tissue. “After everything that’s happened in the past, I hope you can forgive us. As my husband explained, your father… he stole a lot of money, and we should never have used that as an excuse to treat you that way.”
“You let me come over, it was enough for me,” I say. The memory evokes some resistance, but I hide it. They weren’t awful, just not inclusive. I could tell they didn’t think much of me.
“But I fear we never made you feel welcome. When Crystal explained about your…” She clears her throat. “… home life, I just didn’t think. I’ve lived with that guilt for so many years, and I’m here to say I’m sorry. It shouldn't have taken this mess for me, or my husband, to make things right.”
“It’s water under the bridge.” I wave it off. There is no use going over the past. It’s done. And if I’m ever going to think about a future with Crystal, it would be a heck of a lot easier if we all got along.
“I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of you,” she coos, smiling even though her face is red and puffy. “Crystal hasn’t stopped talking about you.”
“I was tryin’ to convince her to leave that bastard — pardon my French — right before she went home. I should’ve gone with her. I didn’t think.”
She squeezes my arm. “It’s not your fault. You went above and beyond. We owe you everything. And when they find him, I hope he gets exactly what he deserves.”
I don’t need to tell her that he’ll get more than that when I get hold of him. The less they know about my internal rage over this shit head and what I plan to do with him, the better. Rest assured, I’ll make it my mission in life to find him and fuck him up. Just like he did to my girl.
I can feel the lump forming in my throat. “I’m just glad she’s safe and sound.”
She welcomes me into the expansive foyer. Man, this family doesn't do anything by halves. “We’re thinking we might get a place in New Orleans,” she prattles on. “To help Crystal, and be here for her when she needs us.”
I can’t help but feel a little annoyed hearing that, but that’s stupid. They have every right to want to be closer to her, especially after her near-death experience. Make no mistake, I wanted to be the one to give her what she needs, but I’m also not going to step in the way of her parents.
I palm the back of my head. “That’s an awfully big move, but I’m sure Crystal would love having her family close by. She misses you.”
I’m rewarded with a grateful smile. It’s kinda weird; them being this nice to me. I know it’s not me, it’s the fact that I rescued their daughter. But I also can’t hide my desire to have my own family. To be accepted and welcomed. I’ve never had that. When I do have kids one day, they’re never gonna wonder if they’re loved. They’ll be so damned loved and adored, they won’t be able to see straight.
“Ryd.” Luca stands from the couch, shaking my hand. We haven’t had much time to catch up, but he’s in town for the rest of the week, so there will be plenty of time. “Good to see you.”
“I thought I’d bring my favorite patient some candy.” I wave the bag in my hand. Crystal loves Reese’s Big Cups and red Jelly Babies. Yes, I picked them out at the candy store just to please her. I’m fuckin’ whipped, sue me.
“Dad stepped out to grab some groceries,” Luca says. “Crystal will be happy to see you.”
I give him a tap on the back. “Thanks, man.”
“You know she’s been whining all day about getting out of here,” Luca goes on before I can escape.
“Ah, yes, that.” I hold my free hand in the air. “Guilty as charged. I said if she was feelin’ up to it, I might be allowed to sneak her out for some fresh air.”
“I… I don’t know,” Sylvia cuts in. “She’s on painkillers?—”
“And she’s been cooped up for days. A short drive out in the world won’t do her any harm,” Luca says, giving his mom a stern look.
Sylvia chews on her bottom lip. I can see how worried she is, and that feeling rushes over me again how loved Crystal is. How much her parents care for her. I haven’t heard from mine since I left town. “Luca, she’s… she’s not herself.” Sylvia eyes me as she says it. “It may take some time before we see our beautiful, bubbly girl back. I don’t want to push her.”
Luca uses a softer tone. “Ma, she wants this. She’s not a child. Awful stuff happened to her, but if she wants to get out in the world already, then we shouldn’t stop her. Frankly, it’s a miracle she wants to leave the house.”
He’s right. As much as I’m kinda on Sylvia’s side on this, seeing my baby happy is what matters. If she wants to go out for a ride in the car, then fuck it, that’s what I’m here for.
Sylvia bursts into tears. I’m not good with emotional women, but since I’m closest, I reach out to her. She takes my hug gladly, sniffling into my armpit as I let her cry. Fuck, man. This shit’s getting to me, too. “I’m sorry?—”
“No need.” My voice feels an octave deeper, the lump caught there doesn’t help. “You love your daughter, she suffered a terrible ordeal. You’ve every right to cry and be upset and worry about her. Just know, I’ll never let anythin’ happen to her. I’ll put myself in the firin’ line before that happens.”
“I know, I’m just being overly cautious, Ryder. But she’s so fragile. I’ve never seen her like this.”
“Ma, she’s gonna be okay, you’ve gotta give her time,” Luca interjects. “She’s not gonna be bouncing back to her usual self five days after coming out of hospital. Your heart is in the right place, but we can’t push her.”
“I… I’m not doing that,” Sylvia defends. “But cars are dangerous?—”
“I drive slower when she’s in the car or on my sled,” I say, then add quickly, “Not that she’s ever been on the back, and that won’t be happenin’ anytime soon.”
“Dear God, don’t give her ideas,” Sylvia sniffles, a small smile playing on her lips. “We all know Crystal is the feisty one of the family.”
I can’t argue with her there. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise. We’re all here for her, all the people who love her.”
Luca raises a brow at my words and I realize what I just said. Sylvia doesn’t seem to mind. She dabs her eyes again and I reach for a fresh tissue at the coffee table nearby. “Thank you, Ryder. For everything.”
I smile as she blows her nose and goes to busy herself in the kitchen.
“Sorry,” Luca mouths.
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it.” I thumb behind me. “Gonna check on her.”
I make my way down the hall, carrying my surprises in the hope that it’ll put a smile on her face. When I knock on the open door, Casey is sitting with her sister, and they’re watching something on her phone. They both look up and a smile spreads across Crystal’s face.
“Hey, Ryd.” Casey smiles, too.
I give her a chin lift.
Crystal sits up a little too quickly. “Ryder, hi— ow!”
Casey turns to her sister. “Shit, Crys, you’re determined to go back to the hospital.”
I rush over. “Sugar, when are you gonna learn to just stay still?”
“I’m fine.” She waves me away, but concern is etched on Casey’s face. Her eyes give it away; they glaze over and she wears a sudden frown. It must be tough on her.
Crystal looks a mess. There’s no sugar coating it. Her bruises are out in full force, her eye turning black. There’s so much fucking bruising. It pains me every time I see her because I can’t take any of it away. And I want to. I want to so badly. Her split lip looks worse than ever, and then there’s the cast on her arm, and the many bandages around her waist.
“How the heck are you fit for a drive when you won’t behave yourself and rest?” I chastise.
“Hey, I have been behaving myself. What’s in the bag?”
I grin, handing it to her.
Her eyes light up as she licks her bottom lip. I’ve never felt more protective over a living creature in all my life. It must fucking hurt her to smile, but here she is, grinning like the cat who got the cream.
“Ryder, you’re the best!” she squeals.
“You did not pick out all the red jelly babies?” Casey groans, throwing in an eye roll for good measure.
“Hey, anythin’ to keep the princess happy.” I wink.
Crystal reaches in, grabbing a handful of the jellies and tosses one in her mouth. She chews carefully and it only breaks my heart further. “Who are you calling a princess?”
Casey moves her hand toward the bag and Crystal promptly closes it, holding it to her chest. “I don’t think so.”
“Hey!” Casey looks at me like I’m gonna help her.
I raise my palms in the air in submission. “Don’t look at me. I’m not gettin’ in the way of sisterly love.”
Crystal relents, making sure Casey only takes one Reese’s cup and three measly jelly babies.
All the while, I laugh. My girl is still in there, I know she is, but there will be ebbs and flows. As long as she knows I’m here for her.
“I’m ready for my chauffeur,” she says, popping a jelly baby into her mouth.
I put my hands on my hips. “I don’t know, you gotta get past your mom out there. Luca’s pushing for you havin’ some freedom — Mom, eh not so much.”
Crystal’s smile fades. “She’s being overly protective, but I can’t be cooped up inside for the rest of time.”
“Nobody is saying for the rest of time.” Casey lays a hand over her sisters. “Just until you’re feeling better.”
“I am feeling better, and don’t give me that look. I’m just glad to be out of that hospital,” Crystal retorts.
I have to agree with her there. Surrounded by sick people and the smell of disinfectant — yeah, that’s not for me.
“I think your family are just worried about your stubbornness,” I put in helpfully. “I’ll take you out, but only on the condition I carry you to the truck.”
“I can walk, Ryd.”
“Yes, with difficulty. Carry or the deal is off.”
“Fine,” she mutters. “Can we stop at Chick-fil-A?”
“Ah, now I know why you wanted to get out of the house so much,” Casey muses. “To stuff your face with chicken.”
I glance at Casey. “You’re welcome to come. Someone has to keep her in line while I drive.”
Crystal lobs a jelly baby at me. “Very funny.”
“While I’d love to spend the afternoon chaperoning you two, I’d rather watch paint dry,” Casey informs us. “But bring me back some Chick-fil-A.”
She hops off the bed and I pop a brow at my girl. “You good to go?”
“Yep. I’m wearing pajamas and I don’t care.”
I laugh, leaning down and she presses her lips to mine. “Did I tell you how much I like it when you smile?”
“ You make me smile,” she whispers.
I sit down on the end of the bed. “We gotta take a pause.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to heal.”
“I am healing, and I have you to thank for it.”
“Crys, I don’t want you to just keep thankin’ me.” I palm the back of my neck. “You don’t have to?—-”
She holds up a hand. “I love you, Ryder. I’ve always loved you. And no, it isn’t because you rescued me, which I’m really fucking grateful for. I’m just out of a messy, horrible, abusive relationship, so I get it. I come with baggage. It’ll take time to get back to who I used to be, but pausing us? I don’t want that.”
“Just promise me that we will always be honest, no matter what. You don’t ever have to worry about me gettin’ mad, or pleasin’ me. Just you bein’ alive pleases me.”
Her eyes crinkle along with her smile. “It’s always been you, Ryder. I tried to replace you, and it didn’t work. I thought all men were good, like you, but I was wrong. I learned a long and painful lesson.”
“That isn’t your fault. People lie.” I smooth her hair back off her face.
“I know.”
“So, we’re good?”
“Yes, but I’m still ugly.”
“You’re not ugly!” I press my forehead against hers. “But Bronco was tellin’ me about somethin’. It was his suggestion, if you wanted…”
She pulls back. “What is it?”
“If you miss your long hair, we could get extensions, till it grows back.”
She stares at me and I think I’ve done the wrong thing. Then she bursts into tears, shoving her head into my shoulder. “I love you, Ryder Cane. Do you know that?”
“W-well, okay.” I’m surprised by her outburst. “Is that a yes, then?”
She nods. “I can’t make this shit work, I just can’t. I’m not a short haired girlie. Kudos to those who can pull it off, but that isn’t me.”
“Just so you know, it doesn’t matter to me about any of it. I just want you to be happy.”
She cups one side of my face. “I am, Ryder. I’m happy with you in my arms.”
I smile.
We’re going to get through this together.