Chapter 12
EMMETT
Iwatch the door close with a sinking heart.
He can’t send me away now, not when I know that’s not what he really wants.
I can sense that he really does want me near him, otherwise he would have kicked me out of his bed this morning.
Instead I awoke to find him caressing me.
I understand his concerns, but no one will find out. We can be discreet.
An idea forms in my mind. I can write to my uncle and explain I need more time.
That will give me more chances to be with Theobald.
I don’t know about the future, but I don’t want to think of that right now.
All I want is to explore how he makes me feel, and I know I can be good for him.
With a half-formed plan, I rise and pull on the undershirt and drawers I’d left on the floor after I entered Theobald’s room last night.
Checking that the passageway is clear, I dart across to my own room and finish dressing.
I pull out my paper and quill and pen a letter to my uncle.
I tell him that the negotiations are going well, but petition him for more time.
I don’t want him to send anyone else to help, so I use the excuse that they need to make arrangements for rehousing people in the infirmary, which is a truth.
My uncle isn’t known for his compassion, but I think he has enough patience to allow this, as long as it doesn’t take more than a week or two.
I’ll grasp at anything to gain extra time with Theobald.
With that accomplished, and ready to present it to Theobald when he returns, I go in search of some breakfast. I find cold meats, bread, and milk laid out in the dining room and take my fill.
Theobald still hasn’t returned by the time I’ve finished, and I’m too restless to wait for him inside, so I take a walk.
I know not to enter the cloister but surely I can walk in the gardens.
There are several monks about, and a few of them nod to me as I pass, but most are working intently and with focus.
All of them are silent, and the serenity of the place seeps into me.
I can see the appeal of this life, just tending to what you need.
It’s a far cry from the bustle of court life, the political intrigue, or the alternative, which is to live with a family who doesn’t want me.
I’ve seen more true friendship shown between the few monks I’ve met personally than I’ve found in the year I’ve spent at court, where acquaintances are used to further your own career and to bring down those who stand in your way. I’ve always hated it.
I thought taking on this task for my uncle might give me some advantage, a chance to prove myself capable of responsibility.
But for what? Only to be stabbed in the back at the next level?
I have no appetite to return to that life.
I’d rather stay here, wandering amongst the hollyhocks and cornflowers and being with Theobald.
I’m not sure I could stomach the endless prayers, and of course I couldn’t agree to chastity. There has to be another way.
Even though every step I take reminds me of how tender my arse is, I can also remember how good it felt to be filled by him, and I long for that to happen again.
I realise I’ve walked close to the brewery when the bells—damn blasted bells—cut through the silence.
I see the door to the brewery open and Brother Sean emerges.
He turns and waits as Brother Francis exits a moment later, hastily tying his belt.
Both smile at each other in a way that looks too affectionate to be simple friendship before pulling their cowls over their heads and taking the path to the abbey.
It seems I’m not the only one who thinks the chastity vows are ridiculous. I wonder if Brother Theobald knows.
I realise I ought to be getting back so I can show him my letter, so I spin around and quickly retrace my steps and make my way to his quarters and his office.
When I reach it he’s already there pacing.
“Where were you?” he says sharply and I recoil a little.
“I was just taking a walk in the gardens,” I explain, and his expression softens as he sits at his desk.
“I’m sorry,” he sighs wearily. “I always seem to be apologising to you, don’t I?
It’s just that the tension of the closure is getting to all of us.
I’ve just had to discipline some monks today who were fighting.
Fighting! I’ve not seen anything like it in the thirty years I’ve been here.
Disagreements, yes. Arguments, yes. But physically fighting . . . What are we becoming?”
I don’t answer that as it seems rhetorical and I’m not sure what I could say. He takes a deep breath and then looks at me with a grim smile.
“Now, where are the papers for me to sign? Then you can be on your way and I can get back to trying to sort this mess out.”
“I’m not going,” I say, and his eyes snap to mine. I stand a little taller and raise my chin under his gaze. “I’ve written to my uncle—”
“Emmett, we’ve had this conversation—”
“No!” I cut sharply across him. “We haven’t had a conversation at all.
All you’ve done is avoid talking to me about it.
I know the offer isn’t as much as you’d hoped.
That’s not my fault or something I can change.
But I can buy you time. I’ve written to my uncle to request a few more weeks.
Will that give you enough to make more arrangements? ”
His expression doesn’t change, so I press on.
“I’ll help where I can. You can put me to work here. I want to make a difference too. It also means we can be together . . .”
He runs his hand down his face and my stomach drops that he doesn’t seem thrilled at my idea.
“It’s not that simple, Emmett.”
“It seems very simple to me,” I shout.
“My vows. The very virtues—”
“Oh, please! You’ve already broken them!
But instead of doing it with love and joy, when I’ve offered myself to you, you’ve taken what you needed and then acted like you can’t stand the sight of me.
Does that please your God? You know you desire me as much as I want you, you just need to accept that fact.
I won’t tell anyone and we can be discreet.
Do you think you’re the only one here who doesn’t take their vows as seriously as you should? ”
His eyes widen and his mouth forms an O. I realise I’ve gone too far. I have no desire to get Brothers Sean and Francis into trouble.
“What do you mean?” he demands.
“Nothing. I’m just saying it in general terms. In a house of a hundred men there must be opportunities.
Plenty of places where secrets can be kept that even you don’t know about.
” My heart races a little that he might question me further, and his eyes narrow like he’s thinking through what I’ve said.
A sudden knock on the door breaks the tense silence and a second later Abel opens it.
“Brother Matthew to see you,” he announces, and with just a quick and puzzled glance at me, he waves him in. He’s not alone. Behind him are Ethan and Evan Brookes, all of them looking deeply worried.
“Is it your father? Has he taken a turn for the worse?” Theobald says, his gaze swinging between them.
“It’s worse even than that,” Evan says and then looks at his brother who takes over speaking.
“We thought we might be able to clean up the workshop. Mostly, we’ve served the abbey, and well, with things being as they are, work is slow.
We thought we could turn the workshop into a temporary infirmary.
You know, to help out. We were clearing some things out and Ma came to ask us what we’re doing.
So of course we explained. And then she told us.
You know it’s just our cottages and the workshop along the lane there?
What we didn’t know is that they’re on abbey land.
They belong to the abbey. If you close we not only lose our livelihood but our homes as well. ”
Theobald’s skin goes grey and he seems to age a decade within a few seconds.
“Are you sure?” he asks with some hope, but Ethan nods his head. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea. They aren’t listed in with the abbey buildings, and you don’t pay rent like the tenant farms do.”
“Ma said it was a strange agreement going back to when the abbey was built. The stonemasons were allowed to live in the cottages rent free and maintain the building, receiving a small stipend for their work.”
Theobald stands and frowns, then he crosses the room to a chest where he takes out a large rolled map.
We move a few tomes on his desk to make room, and lay it out on the linen covering.
He looks at it intently, tracing where I assume the cottages are, as if somehow it can give him an answer.
I look over his shoulder and something strikes me as odd.
“I’ll be right back,” I say quickly and leave the office. I run up the narrow stairs to my room and retrieve my map from my saddle bags. I race back as quickly as I can and unfold the map next to the other one.
“This is the map I was given, the one the pension settlement is based on. Those cottages aren’t shown on here.” I poke the map in the right place to show them.
“I don’t understand it,” Theobald says, looking puzzled.
“I think this was drawn up after the official visits last year. It was done from the records. If the cottages weren’t listed in the abbey records then they weren’t included.”
Theobald shoots me a surprised but kindly look before turning back to the map, his eyes roving over them both.
“Here and here.” He indicates another few buildings.
“These are storage barns and outbuildings; they aren’t showing either.
And the boundaries don’t line up. Look, in this one the boundary crosses the river, but in the king’s version the boundary is the river, and over where your cottages are there doesn’t look to be a boundary at all. ”
While he’s talking and pointing out discrepancies an idea starts to form.
“One of my jobs here is to check the map and the boundaries. What if I say the boundary is here?” I trace a line on the map that stops short of the cottages where Ethan and his family live. “Make you outside of the abbey grounds?”
I’m met with stunned silence, so I press on.
“You’re stonemasons, right? Can you move buildings and rebuild them?
” I receive nods from both Evan and Ethan.
“What about these buildings that aren’t on my map?
Can you make an infirmary out of them? We don’t have much time.
I’m going to ask for a few more weeks for negotiations, but would that be enough? ”
Ethan looks from me to Theobald, his mouth opening and closing as if he can’t form any words.
“Well, is it?” Theobald asks him.
Ethan swallows and blinks, his expression like a death sentence has been lifted.
“It’ll be tight, but if we have help and work shifts, then yes, I think we can manage it. I know a couple of these buildings. There’ll be enough stone to make more cottages, almost a village if you want.”
“Well I’ll be damned,” Evan says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“We’ll all be damned if the king gets wind of this,” Theobald says grimly.
After a few more minutes of discussion, they leave, as they have a lot to arrange. I receive thanks from the Brookes brothers and from Brother Matthew, which makes my insides glow. I stand looking at the map.
“So, if I ride the rest of the boundary to check it, I might even be able to make a few more changes if it’ll help.”
Theobald grabs my shoulders and spins me to face him. He smiles at me like I’ve lit up his world, and I duck my head slightly at the intensity of his gaze. He reaches out and takes my chin, lifting my head so I have to look at him.
“Who are you? You’re sent to destroy us and yet you might just be our saviour.”
“I said I would help, you just needed to give me a chance,” I whisper.
He looks at me with tenderness, and something else much deeper and truer, and I want him to look at me like that forever.
Goosebumps form on my skin and I bite my bottom lip as time stands still.
Very gently, he leans forward and kisses me.
It’s exactly how I imagined. Soft and sensuous.
I groan a little as he deepens it, and I want to melt into his arms.
A scuffle sounds in the hallway beyond the door, and Abel’s voice is loud enough for us to hear.
“Brother Kennard, you can’t just—”
Theobald springs back, his eyes wide in panic and a curse on his lips. By his reaction, I understand it would be very bad if I were discovered in here by this monk. I dive under the desk, the only possible hiding place, and hope the heavy linen cloth covering it is enough to hide me.
“Ah, Brother Kennard. What can I help you with this time?” I hear the snap of the maps being rolled back up quickly. I guess Theobald doesn’t want him to know of the plan.
I don’t pay attention to what they talk about, as in the next moment Theobald sits at his desk, and his legs are just there, his lap within reach.
I silently shuffle closer, wanting to touch him.
I start off lifting his long tunic. His leg twitches as if to brush me off, but I ignore him as I’ve caught a glimpse of his cock.
In his hurry this morning to leave, he’d forgotten to put on his drawers.
I push up his tunic so I can fully see him.
I block out any noise of their voices as I’m drawn by his delicious and beautiful cock, framed by hair that’s still dark, despite there being grey mixed into the ring of hair on his head.
The temptation to have it in my mouth is too great, and I adjust my position to lean against his leg and wrap my lips around it.
He jerks and I hear him cough, covering his reaction with some excuse.
I smile to myself as I latch on, sucking gently.
I wanted him to fill my arse, but having him in my mouth is just as good.
He doesn’t get hard, and I lean my head contentedly against his thigh.
After a while I feel his hand rest gently on my head, and his thumb idly strokes my hair as I drift into a blissful state.