Chapter 26 #2
“I’m on your team, too.” I went to him, curling up on his lap and pressing myself against his chest. His strong heartbeat drummed against my cheek.
“I’m not going to stop caring about you when I leave here.
You and Silver Sage are coming with me, in my heart and in all my beautiful memories from my time here. ”
“It doesn’t seem real,” he whispered into my hair. “I say the words about selling the ranch and leaving here forever, and I know what our bank account looks like, but it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe I’m going to lose this place.”
“Maybe that means you haven’t given up yet.”
“Maybe.”
He pulled me closer to him, his arms wrapped snugly around me, and we stayed that way without speaking for a long time.
The fire was blazing now, the flames radiating warmth.
Matthew’s skin smelled like rain and wood smoke, and I wanted to stay in the safety of his arms forever.
There was a real chance we’d never see each other again after I left the ranch, depending on where life took us next, and I could hardly bear the thought of that.
Mathew’s words rumbled low in his chest, his voice full of emotion. “When you get back to the city and have to deal with that ex-husband and his lawyers, don’t forget what a badass you are. You wear those cowgirl boots when you need a little Wyoming courage.”
I nodded, struggling to keep my tears at bay. “I’ll do that.” Maybe I hadn’t given up yet, either. If he could fight for his family’s home, I could certainly fight for what was mine—the company I’d worked so hard to build. My privacy. My dignity.
“I want you to do something for me. Call your siblings and talk to them about the ranch.” I looked up into those denim blue eyes of his. “See if they can help you. Maybe they’ll have ideas about how to keep this place in your family.”
“Alright, I promise. Now how do you feel about going back to my house? Because this couch isn’t the most comfortable place in the world, and we still have a few hours together.”
“Absolutely, yes.”
“C’mon then.” He playfully smacked my backside, lifting the heavy mood. “It’s getting late, and we don’t have much time left before the sun rises.”
* * *
Scented candles flickered in the darkness on Matthew’s night tables as we stood facing each other, still clothed but hopefully not for long.
The flowery framed prints on the wall stood out to me as something you wouldn’t normally see in a Wyoming man’s bedroom. “Was this your parents’ room?”
“Yes.” His tone was apologetic. “But they didn’t die in here or anything.”
I laughed because it was a morbidly funny, yet accurate, thing to say. “They slept in this bed though.”
“Not on these sheets,” he said quickly. “I brought my favorite flannel sheets with me when I moved here, and that plant over there?” He pointed to a snake plant on the dresser. “That’s mine.”
“That plant is yours?” I nodded sagely. “Then it’s not weird at all.”
He smiled as he cupped my chin in his hand. “Is this too weird for you? We can go upstairs to my old bedroom. You want to see my 4-H ribbons and my Heather Locklear poster? The poster is in the closet because Mom didn’t want to look at it.”
I slid one finger into the waistband of his jeans and pulled him closer. “I kind of do want to see that stuff, but later.”
“That’s good because we have bunk beds and a twin bed in there, and it’s not a comfortable situation.”
“You shared a room with both brothers?” His house was modest in size, and the upstairs rooms couldn’t have been very spacious.
“Yep. Can we talk about something else?” He deftly undid the top button of my pajama top. “I don’t want them in my head space right now.”
He undid another button, and I decided not to help him with the rest since he was doing such a good job. Once again, it was nice having someone else put in the work.
“What do you want in your headspace?” I asked.
He finished the buttons and slid my pajama top off my shoulders and down my arms. “Just this.”
I didn’t follow his gaze downward because I was nervous, not about what we were doing, but how my breasts looked naked, without nylon and underwire to perk them up. What if he didn’t like what he saw?
Matthew smiled, a heated glint shimmering in his eyes. “This is going to be fun.” His thumbs made little circles over my peaked nipples, and my head fell back a few inches, my insecurities melting away.
He tugged loose the tie on my pajama pants, and together we pulled them to the floor so I could step out of them. Once I was down to my underpants, he said drank me in. “You’re so beautiful.”
It wasn’t a line. He spoke with such earnestness that I fell even deeper in love with him.
“Now you.” I started with his shirt, luxuriating in the feel of each button sliding open.
Before I moved on to his pants, I ran my hands over his warm skin, reveling in the light patch of hair in the center of his chest. Too many men waxed their chest hair nowadays, and I missed seeing that hair.
It was primal and sexy. If he expected me to be waxed bare down below, he was about to get a surprise.
I moved on to the button and zipper of his jeans, moving slowly because he was already straining against the fabric.
Feeling his excitement made me wet, which was a relief.
My body still knew what to do. If I had to tell Matthew to stop at any point during sex because my middle-aged anatomy wasn’t cooperating, I was going to be supremely pissed off.
Speeding up my movements, I helped him shed his pants to the floor. He removed his boxer briefs, too, so now I was one piece of clothing in the lead. Or behind, depending on how you looked at it.
He took my face in his hands. “What’s going on in that head of yours? I can tell you’re overthinking.” Before I could answer, he kissed me softly on the lips, as if to reassure me that whatever I was worrying about would be fine.
I decided to be honest with him and lay it all out there. “Do I look okay naked? Should I have shaved or waxed? Did the medicine I take to keep me supple down there really work?” What was the point of lying to him? At our age, there was no time for that. “In other words, I’m overthinking.”
“You look totally gorgeous, and I have lube if we need it. I want you to just relax and enjoy yourself—make that your job for tonight.”
I slid my arms around his bare waist, thinking how well he knew me already. “You are so…”
“Prepared?”
“Wonderful.” I kissed him, and my mind finally quieted.
He walked me backwards to the bed and before I knew it, we were tangled up together on his soft flannel sheets, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies. Matthew braced himself on his forearm over me, looking deeply into my eyes. What if this was your real life, my treacherous brain asked me.
It wasn’t real life though. It was vacation life, and it was about to end. I told my brain to shut up and enjoy the moment.
As we lay together, he touched the dewy place between my thighs, his fingers sliding over my tender skin, building me up until my back arched involuntarily, urging him on.
My hands curled into fists around the sheets as my breath stilled, the sensations at my core building to a crescendo.
Unable to hold on much longer, I needed to take him with me.
I reached out and stroked his hard length.
“I want you to come first,” he whispered, stilling my hand.
I shook my head. “This time I want us to come together. Please? Let’s try?”
He smiled down at me. “I can’t say no to you.”
Quickly, without finesse, I moved on top of him, straddling his body.
Encouraged by his sounds of approval, I guided him inside me.
There were things I wanted to do to him and with him, but this first time might not last long.
We were both ramped up and needy. I grabbed the headboard behind him and began to move my hips.
“Is this good for you?” I asked as I rocked.
Matthew’s eyes shuttered as he grasped onto my ass. “Perfect. You?”
“Perfect,” I echoed.
Our position gave him access to places that made me whimper with pent-up pleasure.
There was no pain. I sent a silent thank you to my doctor for that gift.
My body was primed and ready, and it didn’t take much for me to get to my climax.
Delicious waves broke over me, coming again and again.
Matthew must have been waiting for me to let go first, because he came quickly then, pumping wildly into me with a cry of relief.
I loved watching his face as he spent himself, the pull of tension followed by divine relaxation. Absolute bliss.
Afterwards, we slept for a few hours before I woke him up so we could make love again, slower this time, luxuriating in each other’s bodies.
When we finished, Matthew got out of bed and lit the small wood burning stove in the bedroom.
It wasn’t even cold outside, but he knew I loved the comfort of a fire.
As the flames danced behind the stove’s glass door, we cuddled and talked softly in the darkness, our legs intertwined, my head on his chest. Once again, my mind wandered to what could have been.
What if I could experience a Wyoming winter, working hard during the day then sleeping, curled up together, in this bed every night?
We could spend some time in Manhattan, too, enjoying the city, and I could show Matthew and Gigi the wonders of Rockefeller Center at the holidays.
My family would love him, and he’d fit in so well, bantering with Tori and Rocco, impressing Mom with his gentlemanly manners.
We could have the best of both our worlds.
I had to let go of those dreams because I was leaving in the morning, returning to New York where I’d be dealing with the fallout from Freddy’s interview in Celebrity and finally getting him to sign a divorce settlement.
Matthew would be here in Wyoming, talking to his siblings and trying to save his ranch.
I had to be realistic. Unless we made a Herculean effort, this beautiful relationship was going to end.
As the fire crackled, he wrapped his arms around me, spooning me from behind, as he drifted off to sleep.
I forced myself to stay awake to listen to him breathe deeply, enjoying the feel of his body tucked around mine.
When you know it’s probably the last night you have with the man you love, you don’t want to miss a second of it.