27. Chapter 27
Aspen
Rhett grabs my hand as we walk up to the clinic.
My emotions are at war between excitement and nervousness.
A lot of things can be diagnosed from the anatomy scan at twenty weeks.
That’s part of the curse about working in health care: you know too much.
The majority are few and far between, but I know better than to write it off.
“You ready to see our baby?” Rhett squeezes my hand.
“More than ready. What do you think it is?” I ask him. We haven’t broached this conversation with everything else going on.
“I’d be more than happy with either; I just want him or her to be healthy. I never thought I would have this, so I’m just glad to be living it.” He keeps his head forward, but I can hear the emotion in his voice.
“I know this scares you, but I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”
“Me either, honey.” He lets go of my hand only to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer to him as we walk.
We go through the check-in process, and after a short wait, are brought back to the room. I get situated on the bed, and we get started.
“Alrighty guys, are you ready to see your baby?”
I eagerly nod, eyes on the screen. She pulls up my shirt and puts a squirt of the cold gel on my bump before pressing the probe against my belly.
Rhett sits next to me, his foot tapping at speeds I didn’t quite think were possible. Instantly I can see the outline of my baby. The sweet little nose, the tiny toes.
“Wow,” Rhett says so quietly I can barely hear.
I turn toward him, so grateful that I get to have this moment with him. One he thought he would never have, one he thought he didn’t deserve, but as we go through this, I know without a doubt this is what he was made for. To be a partner, to be a father, to be mine.
His eyes shine bright with tears; he tries to fight them off, but they come streaming down in steady cascades. He stays locked on the screen, as I stay locked into him. Watching a dream of his come true before our very eyes.
His gaze eventually finds mine. He brings the hands he holds to his lips and gives my knuckles a gentle kiss. “Thank you for giving me this even when I was too scared to want it.” His voice is so tender and soft, audible only to me. My heart cracks, a steady beam of love pouring out.
“I’m going to do some measurements; it’ll take a few minutes. Are you guys wanting to find out the gender today?” she asks, oblivious to our little moment.
“Yes,” we both say in unison.
She lets out a chuckle. “Alright, no hesitation there. Give me a few minutes and then we will get to the good stuff. Do you guys have any guesses?”
“I genuinely have no idea. I thought I would have had some sort of gut feeling, but I have no clue. I always thought I would be a good girl mom. I’m good at clothes and the hair and makeup thing.”
“You’d be amazing at either.” The look Rhett levels me with sends butterflies in my stomach.
I don’t think there is anyone on earth who believes in me quite the way he does.
I’ve never noticed the ferocity of it before now.
But it’s always been there, in gentle stares and soft touches.
I can’t believe there was a time I thought he didn’t feel the same way.
Rhett holds my hand as we watch different angles of our baby. Every now and then she shows us what she’s looking at: different organs, blood flow.
“So does everything look okay?” Rhett asks, and I notice the slight tremble to his voice .
“We’re actually not allowed to say much, but nothing I am seeing is making me nervous, so you shouldn’t be either,” she says.
He heaves out a heavy sigh that I can only imagine is riddled with relief. I feel like he is going to be stressed out for the rest of his life now, and he’ll be happy to do it because that is just the kind of man he is.
“Okay guys, one last time, are we wanting to know the gender? I can always write it on a piece of paper.”
“I’m sure, I want it to be just us,” I say, knowing I want to revel in this moment with him in the most genuine way possible.
“Okay, let’s see if we can get this baby in a good position. They are pretty wiggly.” “So they’re just like you already,” Rhett jokes.
“Hey, I have managed to sit still the entire twenty minutes we have been in here, okay.”
“And I will be sure to stop by and get you a special treat on the way home to celebrate your new record.”
I glare at him, and I’d mouth off, but a treat on the way home sounds good. “Preferably ice cream. With fudge sauce and extra sprinkles. And maybe some brownie pieces mixed in.” The thought of it has my mouth salivating.
“There’s a really good cream shop down the road. I’m just about done here, so it’ll be perfect timing for an afternoon snack.”
“The stars are aligning perfectly for me,” I joke, looking back at the screen.
“Okay guys, look right here,” she points at the screen, “this right here means your baby is a boy!”
My hands fly to my mouth and I look at Rhett; the tears are back with a vengeance as he stares at the screen.
“A baby boy,” he says, his smile trembles as he looks at me, leaning down to kiss me. I relish it. “I never thought I would have a son.” He shakes his head in disbelief, cradling my head.
“I’m really outnumbered now.” And I couldn’t be more glad. I know boys like the back of my hand. The second open enrollment opens at work, I'm upping my health insurance policy just in case my baby boy takes after his dad and uncles.
“Alrighty guys, I am done. The doctor will read the scan and then the report will be uploaded into your chart for you guys. It should be ready by the end of the day or tomorrow. It was great meeting you all.” She stands up from her chair and digs around in her cupboard, pulling out a washcloth.
“This is for your belly to get the goo off. Once you are all cleaned up, you are good to go.”
She hands me the cloth and then picks up the printed ultrasound pictures. “These are for you guys to take home.” She passes them off to Rhett as I clean myself off and waves before leaving the room.
Rhett stares at the pictures, running his thumb over them. “I can’t believe I am going to be a dad. I mean, I knew it was happening obviously, but seeing him. His tiny little fingers and toes.”
“You’re going to be the best dad, Rhett. He is going to grow up to be such a good man if he takes after you at all.”
He stares at me, misty-eyed, and I can’t help but think of how damn lucky our kid is going to be, having a dad who loves them this much already.