28. Chapter 28
Rhett
It is unfortunately my turn to muck stalls and do what me and the boys like to call bitch work.
Each of us takes a week at a time to make sure the stalls are cleaned for the animals and their feed is stocked.
No one enjoys cleaning cow shit. I think Ava is the only one who never bitched about it and it’s only because we had a bottle-fed calf at the time.
The thing still follows her around anytime she spots her when Mav brings her around.
Grabbing my gloves out of my back pocket, I slide them over my hands and snatch the pitchfork off the wall.
The majority of this is weeding out clean straw from soiled straw.
The smell of manure mixed with the hay isn’t one I’d prefer; its stench will stick on me the rest of the day.
It’s fair to say my morning is starting a little shitty.
I laugh to myself at my bad joke. I really need to get some sleep; I feel like I’m bordering on deranged.
My phone rings, and I groan. Answering a call with these gloves on is a pain in the ass.
I rip one off, holding it in my other hand before pulling my phone out of my pocket.
My hands immediately start to shake when I read the caller ID.
It’s my doctor. I’ve been waiting for this call, hoping I would feel relief when it came.
Now that it’s here, all I feel is dread.
I want to be hopeful, but hope is tricky.
It leads to dreams that may never come to pass.
My heart thunders and roars so loud in my head I can barely hear when I press the phone to my ear. “This is Rhett.”
“Good morning, Rhett. This is Lisa. Dr. Macintosh would like me to schedule an appointment with you to go over your results.”
My heart drops. This has to be bad news. If it was good news, they would give it over the phone, right? I knew it was a possibility, but everything had been going so damn well that I had thought maybe it was my turn to be happy. “Okay.”
“We had a cancellation and can get you on Thursday at eight thirty AM. Does that work for you?” Her bright and cheerful voice is a stark opposite of what I feel.
I need these results yesterday, so I’m willing to make anything work. Now that enough people know about the BMD, I won’t have to lie about where I am going.
My voice shakes as I reply. “Yes, I can make that work.”
“Great, thank you so much. We look forward to seeing you.”
Anxiety floods through my system at a rate that makes it hard to think.
I can’t control it. I know that. There’s nothing about this situation I can change.
The only thing I can do is stay calm. This isn’t just about me anymore.
I have a whole other person to think about, actually two people to think about.
I power through the rest of my day in a blur.
Weston has made himself scarce and I don’t know how to fix it.
It’s been almost a month; I figured he would have cooled off by now.
Maybe it’ll just take more time. These days I’m thankful for the hands-on work that keeps my mind a little bit busy, but also thankful I don’t have to be around the guys today.
I don’t think I could; in fact, I don’t know how I’m going to do it all week.
It’s all come down to this. In three days I’m going to know.
I’m so close to finally being free from this.
I’ve gone through the majority of this on my own. The fear and the unknown. But as I drive to Aspen’s house, I realize for the first time that I’m not alone anymore. I probably never was in the first place. I was just too damn stubborn to end up together anyway.
When I step into Aspen’s house, I see a freshly cooked meal sitting on the table.
If my nose isn’t deceiving me, it’s fried chicken.
Part of me wonders if she inherited her mother’s ability to sense when something was wrong long before anyone has told her about it and do something that will make it better.
Because this, coming home to the love of my life making me my favorite food, does make it better.
It seems small, but I’m learning those small moments aren’t insignificant. You stack enough of them together and you’ve got a reason for living.
She smiles as she throws a dishrag over her shoulder. “I knew you had bitch duty so I figured you were gonna need a pick me up.”
One of my favorite things about being with Aspen is how much she knows about this lifestyle.
She thinks she doesn’t know it as well as the rest of us, but that woman damn well could run that company if she had to.
I’m really proud of her for not conforming to what the rest of the family does and following her heart.
She was meant to take care of people. Her mom does it one way and she does it another way.
What a beautiful example to show how the same thing can be done differently.
“It smells delicious.” I try to sound excited as I stride toward her. The second I reach her, I wrap her in my arms, needing to feel her close.
Her head snaps to me as if she can hear it in my voice. She knows me too damn well.
“What's wrong?” She pulls back to look at me.
I grimace. “The doctor called today.”
“And?” she pushes.
My hand wipes away a smudge of flour on her cheek. “I have an appointment on Thursday. They didn’t say anything on the phone. It was the most uneventful phone call of my life.”
She nods as if understanding. She’s worked in healthcare her entire career. She probably knows good news is usually given on the phone. Bad news is delivered face-to-face.
Her delicate arms wrap back around me as she buries her face into my chest. “We'll figure it out together. Okay Rhett? Either way we’re gonna be just fine.”
She’s right. As long as I’ve got her, things are going to be okay. It took me way too long to let myself admit that. This walk could have been so much easier if I’d just have let her in. I wish I could have that time back, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her.
“You’re right. I’ve got you; we’ve got a growing family. That’s all I need.”
“You’ve got every single piece of my heart, Rhett.” She pulls back and puts her hand on my cheek.
“While we’re talking about big things, I want to ask how you’d feel about living together. I know it’s fast, but I want you to know it doesn’t scare me. I’m all in.”
The smile that splits across her face is my favorite one; it’s all things her. Free, wild, and full of love. “You’ve been staying here for a month straight. I kind of thought you already were in the process of that.”
“Glad to hear there’s no objections. I’ve got some big dreams for you and me. One of them is making you Mrs. Rivers.” And no diagnosis will stand in the way of it. It may make life harder, but it doesn’t make it not worth living. I needed that reminder today.
“I can’t wait to watch each and every one come true, but that particular one needs to wait until I am no longer pregnant.” She stands up on her tiptoes and laces her hands behind my neck.
I chuckle. “Guess I can wait a few more months to change your last name.” Leaning down, I kiss her and get lost. Lost in everything we have yet to become. I’ll be damned if I let anything get in the way of her happiness.