Chapter 32
Phoenyxx
I need some time to myself, to process everything. Not just my parents, but literally everything. My whole life.
I’m uncomfortable standing in the shooting range. I'm alone, but very on edge.
I hate guns. They terrify me. Even the sound of the shot spikes my anxiety.
I'm breathing way too fast and need to calm down. My first panic attack happened the first time I was thrown into the attic by the Solomons.
Over the years, I educated myself on mental health disorders, and psychology in general.
I've self-diagnosed myself with PTSD, anxiety disorder, major depression, and very likely BPD—Borderline Personality Disorder.
It's characterized by the utter fear of abandonment, as well as back and forth strong emotions.
Love and hate in the same breath sometimes.
Pondering how I’ve felt my whole life, I take some time to feel sorry for myself. I never had a fucking chance to be normal. Constant abuse since the age of six will fuck up anyone. I need a break. Don't I deserve happiness, without threats?
Tears streak my face as I mourn the girl I was for so long. Broken and scared, yet a fierce fighter. So strong my mind would never break. Believe me, I tried. I begged for catatonia while in The Morgue.
But now, I’m Phoenyxx, the woman who is loved by many. I have family, best friends, and eight amazingly damaged, psychotic men that are all mine.
I marvel at the changes I’ve made. I’m stronger than I thought I could ever be.
Caterina Isabella Rossi, mafia heir. A woman not to fuck with. And Phoenyxx, the woman who will rip your head off in a blink.
I dry my tears with my sleeve, straightening my spine. It's so emotional to decide to let go of the past, but I must in order to move forward. I'll never forgive or forget. But I choose to not let it control me anymore.
I feel good with my decision to take control of the bank account, as well as positions in my parents' companies. It feels like the right thing to do.
I’m still not sure about taking the title of heir yet, though. I'm not ready. I need time to figure it out, and thankfully, my parents are fine with that.
Blowing out a breath, I leave the shooting range to head back to my room. I have a stack of paperwork to read through.
I stifle a yawn when a knock on the door pauses my reading.
“Come in,” I call.
Synn strides into the room with a twisted expression in his eyes. They're dark gray and stormy, which happens when he’s warring with his mind.
“Are you okay?” I ask with a frown.
“Yeah, just tired,” he evades.
Frowning harder, I tilt my head to stare at him. He's lying to me. Why?
“Synn—”
“Leave it, Pazessca. I just want to spend time with you.” He glances at the papers I’m holding in my hand. “What are those?”
I explain it to him, and he just nods and gives me no advice or opinions. Which is also weird for my normally vocal guy.
“How about we take those to the kitchen? It will be easier to read and sign everything with more space,” Synn says.
“Good point. Coming with?” I ask.
“Of course. Let's go.”
Synn leads the way, and I plonk down into a chair to continue reading.
The kitchen is busy, people wandering in and out. The sounds of chatter, laughter, and the clink of silverware against plates surround me. I drown it out to concentrate.
I'm taking forever to read this shit. There's so many things I don’t understand.
Synn pulls up a chair next to me. “Want me to take a look?”
“Please? I'm clueless,” I say gratefully.
I hand the papers over to him. “Why don’t you grab some coffee or something?” Synn suggests.
Good idea. I need caffeine for this. Turning to grab a mug, I doctor it up with sugar and creamer. I stand at the counter for a moment, savoring the steam coming from the warm cup.
I glance at Synn, who’s straightening from reaching to the floor, coming up with a paper.
“What are you doing?” I ask, walking back over.
“I think you dropped it,” he explains, sliding the paper back into the stack.
I shrug, sitting back down.
After a few minutes, Synn says, “Okay. It all seems to be perfectly acceptable. I can show you where to sign, if you want.”
“How did you read those so fast?” I frown.
Synn laughs, tipping back in his chair. “I'm all too familiar with business documents, Pazessca. What you’re signing is your acceptance of the bank account, and the seats on the board of the three businesses.”
“Oh. Okay, then.”
“Sign here, and here,” he says.
We go through the stack, and I sign everywhere he tells me to.
“So, that's it?” I ask.
“Yeah, you’re all set. How are you feeling about all this?” Synn answers.
“Good, actually. I still don’t know about being the heir yet, but this I feel confident about.” My certainty with this decision is almost calming.
“Why don’t you let me hang on to these for now? I'll go back through them more later,” Synn suggests.
I don’t see a problem with that, so I nod.
Synn grins, a twinkle in his gray eyes. “What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?”
I shrug. “No clue. I was thinking about seeing a movie with the girls, and whoever else wants to join.”
“That’s a fantastic idea.”
“Want to join me?”
“I wish I could. I've got some stuff to take care of, though.” Synn squeezes my arm as he rises from his seat.
“Alright then. I guess I’ll see you later,” I stand up, too, grabbing him to plant a kiss on him. “Thanks for your help.”
Synn leaves, and I decide to go hunting for everyone else. I want to check out those superhero flicks Valley told me about.
“Hey, guys. Anyone want to do a superhero movie marathon?”
I manage to find almost everyone in the media room, including Cynthia and Thor. Hunter isn’t here, though.
“Marvel?” Thor scrambles from his seat on the floor.
Cynthia claps her hands. “Yes, movies.”
Bryan laughs when Valley starts doing a happy dance. “Hells yeah, bestie. Let's do it,” Valley answers.
“Anyone else?” I ask.
Trikk and Razor jump up at the same time, grinning at each other. “We’re in.”
The others decline.
“Sorry, Iskra, I’m needed back in the computer room,” Purge apologizes.
I kiss all my guys before they leave.
Thor and Trikk are arguing about the order to watch the films.
I roll my eyes; happy to just be in this moment.
We all get seated, and the screen flares to life.
“So, what’s first?” I ask.
“Iron Man, then Thor,” Valley laughs. “So, not in order, but you’ll love those.”
“Can’t forget The Avengers!” Thor hollers dramatically.
Cynthia giggles next to him. I roll my eyes playfully, settling in to watch.
Three movies later, I’m ready to stretch my legs. I'm glad I watched the movies; they were good. Funny, too.
“So... which one is your Marvel husband?” Valley links arms with me.
I'm dying to say Thor, but Cynthia might throttle me. “Loki,” I smirk. “I love my bad boys.”
Thor tsks loudly. “My arch-nemesis.”
“Weirdo.” Cynthia lightly smacks his arm, and he shoots her a goofy smile.
I'm happy for her.
We all walk and talk, just enjoying each other’s company. My chest warms with love for them all.
Purge
I’m so in shock, I can’t decipher what I’m reading for several long moments. I was running some searches, looking for any activity from my father. While looking, an alert popped up on my screen.
I constantly have a program running to search for all our names, so if anything new develops, I'll know quickly.
Synn's name came up, along with Iskra’s. Her given name, at that.
I'm staring at a... marriage license. Signed, dated, and filed legally.
What the actual fuck?
Iskra wouldn’t have withheld that kind of bombshell from me. What the hell is going on?
I print out the document, snatching it hot from the printer.
I stalk out in search of Synn. This motherfucker better have a damn good explanation for this.
“What the fuck, man?” I yell loudly, where everyone seems to be together in the media room, hanging out.
I look around, and everyone is accounted for. Even Harris and Sam are there. Perfect.
My temper is too hot to hold back. I go right up to Synn, shoving him hard away from the pinball machine he’s playing.
“The fuck?” Synn says, pushing me back. “What’s your problem?”
“My problem?” I scream in his face, shaking the paper at him. “Does Iskra even know about this, asshole?”
Footsteps behind me announce Iskra walking over. “What are you talking about, Purge?” She knits her brows, tension in her limbs.
“This!” I yell, thrusting the paper at her.
Iskra grabs it, looking down to read it. She stills, her face turning paper white.
“What the fuck? A marriage certificate? I never fucking signed this!”
At her words, everyone beelines for us.
Ghost turns purple with rage, grabbing the paper from Iskra. He walks straight up to Synn, punching him hard in the face.
“You piece of shit. How could you do this? It was supposed to be me. She loved me first!” Spittle flies from his lips as he yells at Synn.
Absolute chaos erupts.
A livid Valley and Cynthia rush over to support Iskra.
Cynthia goes up to Synn and slaps him in the face. Iskra pulls her back.
The other six guys rush Synn all at once.
The yelling is so loud, it’s a jumble of voices.
They all pummel Synn, beating the shit out of him.
Sam goes for his throat and throttles him.
Razor kicks his legs out and Synn hits the floor.
Harris just punches him on repeat. Frost is in his face, and even Trikk is kicking him in the stomach.
Synn’s not even trying to fight back or defend himself.
A shrill whistle sounds out.
“Everyone, fucking stop!” Iskra screams. Stalking over to Synn, she hovers over him. “Get the fuck up and explain. Now.”
Synn scrambles up, blood pouring from his nose, his eyes swelling with bruises. He looks down as he talks.
“I had no choice, Pazessca. My father… he contacted me. Threatened to kidnap you back then kill you. Marrying you is the only way to protect you. In the Italian families, wives are untouchable. It's Old Code but is still honored today.”
Everyone fucking loses it. Violence is almost a tangible presence in the room. Even with me. I'm barely holding back from Raging Out all over his ass. If I let it loose, I could kill him.
“Why the hell wouldn’t you come to us?” Frost vibrates with anger, chest heaving.
“There was no time. He was not fucking around, Frost. I could not take the chance of losing her. Not ever again.”
Iskra steps forward and just stands in front of him while he shakes off the beating he’s taken.
“You never thought to ask me? Why do it behind me back? We’re married, Synn.
I'm a damn Franco and a Rossi now?” She throws her hands in the air in exasperation.
“I can’t deal with you right now! Stay the hell away from me. ”
Iskra turns to her friends. “Will you guys come with me? Please?” Her lip trembles. I can tell she’s trying hard to hold the tears at bay.
Valley and Cynthia both put arms around her, leading her out of the room. She doesn’t look back once.