15. CODY
I lay there through the night, watching shadows move across the ceiling while listening to the rhythm of Danielle's breathing.
My mind was restless, bouncing between concern for her safety and the information she'd shared with Alex.
Hopefully, it would lead to something useful and finally bring Landon to justice.
But beneath these practical worries lurked a more selfish thought that I couldn't quite suppress: the undeniable connection I felt to Danielle. I felt guilty even acknowledging it, knowing how vulnerable she was, yet the feeling persisted, as real as the warmth radiating from her body next to mine.
Danielle stirred beside me, her arm sliding across my chest like it belonged there. The simple, unconscious gesture of trust undid me completely. Her touch was soft and warm against my skin and made my mind race even more.
Enough of this, Cody.
Deep down, I knew the truth of how this was going to go.
The simple fact was that as soon as this was over, life went back to normal.
She’d move on with her life, as would I.
And I wasn’t ready to let go of Riley. How could I be so torn between the memory of my first love and the near stranger next to me?
It should be a simple choice. She was my best friend’s sister, she’s been through extreme trauma, and she barely knew me.
And yet, maybe it was time for me to let go of Riley.
No matter how much I wanted it, she was never coming back, and I couldn’t spend my entire life alone.
It should be neither of them, Cody.
Before resigning myself to falling asleep, I took all my feelings for Riley and whatever was happening to me over Danielle and locked them away.
The morning sun hit my eyes through the blinds, accompanied by the sound of birds just outside. I squinted at the bedside clock. 10 AM already. Rolling over to check on Danielle, I found empty space, still warm. Then I heard it—the shower running behind the bathroom door.
My heart jumped into my throat. Had she really managed to get in there by herself without me knowing?
Despite her remarkable progress with walking, the thought of her navigating the slippery bathroom alone sent a spike of anxiety through me. I threw back the covers and crossed the room to the bathroom door, torn between respecting her privacy and ensuring her safety.
I tapped my knuckles against the door, careful not to push it open any farther.
“Danielle, do you need help?”
“Yes, please,” she replied.
I pushed the door open, and familiar clouds of steam billowed out around me.
I already disliked these scorching showers of hers.
This time, when I entered the room, things were different.
Instead of finding her turned away, waiting for assistance as usual, Danielle stood facing me, the towel clutched around her body.
The air between us felt heavy with unspoken words.
I stepped into the bathroom, expecting her to turn as she did before, ready for me to carry her.
But she remained still, her eyes meeting mine with a look, both uncertain and determined, that rooted me to the spot.
The whirring of the exhaust fan was the only sound breaking the loaded silence.
Something had shifted, and we both knew it.
Her eyes fixated on mine, challenging, questioning, waiting.
I drifted toward her, drawn in by something unspoken, until we were face to face, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her steam-flushed skin, close enough to hear each shaky breath she drew.
Still, she fixated on my eyes. The steam made the moment feel surreal, suspended in time.
Her eyes never left mine, searching, as if asking questions I wasn't sure I could answer.
There was nervousness in her expression, but something else too—a certainty, a decision made.
Before I could find words to break the tension between us, she let the towel fall.
It pooled at her feet, and despite her absolutely perfect tits being inches away from me, I couldn't look away from her eyes.
They held my focus with an intensity that seemed to reach my soul, daring me to trust this moment.
The world beyond this bathroom ceased to exist; there was only this moment, this breath, and this connection neither of us had expected to find.
“Danielle, what—”
She cut me off.
“Don’t say anything. I don’t want a chance to change my mind about trusting you.”
I reached down while still looking deep into her eyes, and laced my fingers with hers, guiding her arms upward until they stretched above her head. Neither of us spoke, but I could feel her trembling.
As much as I tried, I couldn’t resist Danielle. She resonated with something deep inside me and found a connection I couldn't explain. Despite the brevity of our acquaintance, it felt like we'd shared lifetimes.
My fingers followed the curve of her arms, gliding down in measured strokes like they needed to map every inch. The second they let go, she reached for me, but I caught her wrists midair, pinning them back over her head with one hand, pressing them hard against the tile.
“Don’t move them.”
Her lips looked so inviting, drawing me closer until I could feel her breath on my skin. Our noses touched, like neither of us was ready to close the distance but couldn’t pull away either.
She remained silent as I leaned in, hesitating just enough to seek permission before my lips met hers.
The kiss unleashed a feeling I didn’t want to come out.
Every confused emotion, every inexplicable feeling I'd had around her suddenly made perfect sense.
It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced, and it was terrifying.
It was as if my heart belonged to her, but my thoughts screamed warnings I was trying hard to ignore.
Her hands slid down my chest, leaving goosebumps in their path, until they reached my waistband, tugging downward as my lips left hers in search of her neck.
The need to be closer to her was overwhelming.
My hands traced every curve of her body from her breasts down to her hips.
With a steady grip, I raised her legs and felt them wrap around me.
The wall caught her weight as I leaned in, holding her there.
The taste of her was intoxicating, and I lost myself in the perfection of her imperfect body.
My hand explored her body, making its way up to her chest, and eventually her throat, wrapping around it with the slightest pressure. Danielle’s breath shuddered, and I stepped back fast, as if distance could undo what I had just done.
“I’m sorry. I should have known better. I just… I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
Danielle looked embarrassed, apologetic even.
She didn’t say another word as I helped her into the shower, then returned to the living room, trying to wrap my mind around what had just transpired.
The reality of the situation that began to settle over me was oppressive and frustrating, revealing the sinking ship I was destined to commit myself to.
After everything she’d been through, the last thing I should be doing is making her feel like I had some kind of control over her—no matter how free of malice my intentions were.
But that’s exactly what it felt like I’d done.
And then there was Alex.
My best friend. My brother in all but blood.
Shit, Alex is going to kill me.
This was the same guy who'd lectured me about wearing boxers around his sister. What we'd just done was so far beyond that line, it was in another time zone.
I may as well get this over with and take the brunt of it so Danielle doesn’t have to.
I pulled out my phone, staring at Alex's contact info. My thumb hovered over the call button, but I couldn't bring myself to press it.
Coward.
How do you tell your best friend you just crossed every conceivable boundary with his sister? The same sister he'd trusted you to protect, not fall for. The same sister who was still healing, still vulnerable.
I opted for the coward's way out and opened a text message instead, though even typing the words felt like signing my own death warrant.
I kissed her. I’m sorry.
It felt like hours before he answered. Unfortunately for me, he didn’t text me back. He called. I walked out onto the deck and slid the door shut before I answered. I didn’t even get a chance to say hello.
“You had, literally, one fucking job,” Alex yelled into the phone. “This is NOT what I hired you to do. I hired you to keep her safe. That’s my fucking sister, Cody!”
“Alex, calm down and answer me one fucking question before you fly off the handle, okay?”
“It better be a god damn good question.”
“In the ten years that you’ve known me, have you EVER seen me with a girl since Riley, in any way, shape, or form? Have I ever brought one home?”
He didn’t answer right away, so I took the opportunity to say as much as I could.
“I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I sent you that text knowing damn well there’s a high probability of you killing me the second you see me. I didn’t go any further than that, okay? I stopped it.”
“Oh, so you fucking came on to her?!” Alex was getting louder and more irate with every question he asked me.
“No, I mean she… I…look, it happened. We both got caught up in a thing, I don’t know, dude. I’m sorry.”
“I’m still pissed,” he said in a far calmer, yet still livid, tone, “but you’re right. You’ve never done anything to make me believe you would take advantage of her or hurt her. Just don’t fucking do it again.”
He hung up before I could say anything else to him.
At this point, I was just hoping he didn’t say anything about it to Danielle.
The last thing I needed was her thinking I was going to run and tell Alex everything, especially when she already felt like he was overbearing.
A few minutes later, Danielle came out on the deck and sat down next to me.
“Is it me?” she asked, looking at me, almost unsettled by what had just happened.
“Danielle, no. God no, it’s not you.” I felt like an absolute dick.
She let her guard down and went after what she wanted, and I shut her down.
And for what? Because I can’t get over my own bullshit?
Because I built a wall to keep out someone who didn’t deserve it, for someone who wasn’t here anymore?
She was waiting for some kind of explanation; one I didn’t know how to give.
“It’s… just things I can’t get over in my own head. It’s not you.”
Danielle looked like she was holding back tears, which made me feel even worse. I was trying not to hurt myself, and in turn, I hurt her.
“Riley?” She answered the question for herself, as if she didn’t want to hear it come from me.
A long sigh escaped as I contemplated the next words to come out of my mouth.
“Partially, yes. But it’s far more complicated than that.
” I couldn’t bring myself to tell her everything yet.
I couldn’t tell her the real reason Riley was gone.
I couldn’t tell her I’ve spent years refusing to accept that it wasn’t my fault, pushing everyone away who tried to get close to me.
And I certainly couldn’t tell her that I was holding back on her—holding back the feelings I was having and trying to figure out how the fuck to navigate her.
“I’m here, Cody. I’m not going anywhere.
But you know what? I don’t think I was ready for that either.
” Her eyes softened, no longer worried that she had done something wrong, but with understanding.
“The patience you’ve had with me, I can have with you.
So, let’s just pretend today never happened. ”
I smiled at her. She smiled back, letting relief grace her face.
Except, it did happen. My God, did it happen.
In those few moments, I felt like I’d never be the same.
I wanted her. I needed her. It scared the shit out of me.
And at the same time, I knew how fragile the situation was, and it wasn’t all about me.
I couldn’t just have her when I was ready; I had to earn her—her trust, her desire, her love, all of it.
Oh my God, there’s that L word again.
She deserved someone who worked hard for her and knew what they wanted, not someone who couldn’t move on from the past. I needed to control myself and this God forsaken carnal need for her, until I could quiet the protest in my head.