20. CODY
All I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and pray to God that I’d reached her in time.
There had been very few moments in my life that made me grateful for my military training, and watching Danielle damn near get hit by that car was, without a doubt, one of them.
As soon as I felt the weight of her body pressed against me, I finally let myself breathe. Only then, with Danielle safe in my arms, did I dare open my eyes.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay. Let’s get you home, alright?” I don’t know who was shaking more as the adrenaline settled, but the way she clung to me for those few moments on the sidewalk, my shirt bunched up in her fist, her eyes searching mine for comfort, was all I needed to start breaking down walls.
I helped Danielle to her feet, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we made our way around the corner to the parking lot. The drive back was short, but the silence between us was loud. That was far too close, especially when it’s my job to keep her safe.
Back at the apartment, I cracked open a beer for each of us and sank onto the couch, trying to steady my nerves.
Danielle sat across from me, curling up in the worn armchair.
We still hadn’t said a word to each other, but I could tell by the puffy redness around her eyes that she had been hiding the fact that she was crying.
There were so many things I wanted to say, but none of them seemed appropriate given the way she had broken down on the walk back to the car.
I just wanted her to know she could trust me to keep her safe emotionally, too, not just physically.
It was time to break the silence and tell the truth.
“Riley wasn’t leaving her job when she died.”
Confused, she looked up. “What?”
“Riley wasn’t leaving her job when she got hit by the drunk driver.” The words stung coming out. I had never told anyone this—not even Alex.
Danielle’s eyes searched mine, trying to connect the dots between this and what had transpired this evening.
“Then where was she coming from?”
I hesitated, my chest tightening. “She was cheating on me.”
Danielle’s eyes widened at the revelation, but were soon replaced by a questioning squint, the crease in her brow growing bigger as she tried to decipher how I could still feel the way I did, despite the truth.
All the stories I’d told, all the praise I’d sung for Riley, yet I’d never admitted to anyone what she was really doing out so late that night.
“I risked my life to give her a good one, and while I was gone, she found someone else. You know the worst part?” I kept going, despite myself.
I didn’t even wait for Danielle to respond.
“Even after I found out the truth, I blamed myself. And I still loved her. Like a damn fool. I couldn’t help it. ”
Danielle sat in silence, her thumbs tracing slow, nervous circles around the edge of her beer can. I hadn’t expected her to say anything. Honestly, I just needed to set the truth free. Maybe then I could let go of the guilt that had been suffocating me for so long.
After a moment, Danielle gave a quiet response.
“Cody, that wasn’t your fault.”
“I left her,” I said, but almost to the point where it was like I was still trying to convince myself that it was my fault.
“No,” Danielle insisted, shaking her head with a quiet finality. “You didn’t leave her; you did what you thought was right. You can’t control what someone else decides to do.”
My eyes fell to the floor. “Exactly.”
She looked at me with a mix of empathy and confusion, searching for what I really meant.
“I’ve never told anyone the truth about Riley’s accident.
Do you know why I told you?” I leaned into Danielle, tucking a piece of hair back behind her ear, letting the back of my hand linger on her cheek a little.
“Because of what you said to me on the way back to the car. None of what happened to you was your fault. You can’t control Landon’s temper, just like I couldn’t control Riley’s faithfulness. ”
Danielle turned away, unable to look me in the eyes.
I could tell she was fighting back tears.
It was a rare occasion when she’d let herself be that vulnerable in front of me.
It was a survival tactic, no doubt, leftover from surviving Landon, that she’d choose to look away, to cry in private, instead of making herself vulnerable.
“Danielle, you are an incredible person. You have to let go of the blame, the same way I need to. Do you know who helped me see that?”
When Danielle’s eyes rose to meet mine, the question came out quiet, under her breath, “Who?”
“You did.” I managed a small, reassuring smile.
“Watching you try to move forward, even when it hurts, even when you think you can’t, made me realize I can’t keep living with this weight either.
I don’t want to watch you sit here for one second longer blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control.
If I can let go, so can you. I promise.”
She didn’t respond. Instead, a single tear slipped down her cheek before she buried her face in her hands.
Setting my beer on the end table, I stood up to go out on the deck and gave her space.
I knew I’d touched something deep, and she needed a moment.
But before I could leave the room, she stopped me.
“Cody, wait.”
I turned around as Danielle was getting up from the chair. Tears were free-flowing down her face, and by this point, I couldn’t tell if she was angry or upset as she made her way towards me.
“Danielle, I didn’t mean—”
Danielle grabbed my hand and placed it on the small of her back before I could even finish my sentence. Pushing herself closer to me, she rested her head against mine, and I could feel the nervousness in every inch of her body as she tried to breathe through tears.
“Stop talking,” she whispered, “kiss me.”
Those four simple words were all it took for my lips to find hers. This time, everything felt different in ways I couldn’t comprehend.
Every once in a while, something changes, and she was changing me. I wasn’t scared this time, and neither was Danielle. She didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t pull away. In those first seconds, as our lips met, I knew with absolute certainty that she had me, completely. Every part of me belonged to her.
I cradled her face in my palms, my fingers threading through the silk of her hair as our lips stayed locked together, unwilling to leave her lips for even a second.
I grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of her head, pushing her closer into me, not knowing if it was too much for Danielle, or if she’d embrace the chance I was taking to let her know she was mine.
Eventually, Danielle pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes, her eyes shining with something I’d never seen before, as if she was giving me full permission.
She took my hand in hers and began to lead me toward her bedroom.
But as we reached the doorway, I hesitated, stopping just at the threshold.
“Are you sure? Because once I start, I don’t think I can stop myself.”
She turned back, grabbed both my hands in hers, and looked right through my eyes into my soul.
“Please?” She whispered.
There was a moment where neither of us said a word. I questioned if this was going to end with one of us pushing the other off again, and I didn’t know if my heart, or my cock, could handle that again. Before I could answer, Danielle spoke again.
"I’ve spent so long being controlled, and I know you’d never do that to me.
” She hesitated, as if she was gathering courage to say what’s really on her mind.
“I want to give up control—just a little. Not because I’m afraid for once, but because with you, it feels safe.
I need to feel that kind of surrender with someone who sees me. Someone who won’t hurt me."
She let the silence sit for a second.
"I don’t want to be afraid of wanting that anymore."
I sat with her words for a minute, struggling between two truths: the pain behind what she was asking, and the trust it took for her to ask me. She wanted to surrender something that had once been used to hurt her—and she was giving it to me. The amount of trust she had in me wasn’t lost on me.
I kissed her forehead, giving her a reassuring smile. “If that’s what you want, my love.”
After closing the door behind us, Danielle turned to face me, her eyes locked on mine as her fingers slipped just beneath the waistband of my pants.
It was a silent invitation—and it took everything in me not to lose control right then.
Before she could go any further, I slid my hands to her waist, fingers curving around the shape of her body, easing her back until she met the door with a soft thud.
My lips found hers, then wandered lower, slower, savoring every inch.
I pulled the straps of her dress down, inch by inch, watching as it fell away, revealing the soft curves of her bare chest. She stood still, watching me—vulnerable, but open—giving me everything without saying a word.
I knelt in front of her, tugging the rest of the dress down, planting reverent kisses along her thighs, her stomach, the swell of her hips, until I was back at her mouth again.
Then I felt her fingers on my belt.
But before she could finish, I caught both her wrists and pinned them above her head, my body flush with hers. It was out of pure hunger, but the second I did it, my gut twisted. I’d forgotten how easily a touch could turn wrong for her. I worried I’d shattered the moment.
But she didn’t flinch.
She looked at me, really looked at me, biting her lip, eyes locked on mine like she was searching for something deeper. Waiting. Trusting.
“Cody…” Her voice was soft. I froze, giving her space, bracing for her to pull away again.
She didn’t. Not exactly.
She paused, and so did I, meeting her eyes in a moment of seriousness. “Whatever you need,” I said quietly.