Nineteen
Jamie couldn’t believe his luck when Erica agreed to a walk along the beach. The wine bar had been a mistake – too many people, too noisy to talk much, and he should have anticipated the crowd would be younger.
But now they had the beach to themselves. It was a beautiful evening, the full moon providing the perfect romantic atmosphere. Jamie glanced at Erica. Despite the grey streaks in her hair, she hadn’t changed much from the teenager he’d fallen in love with. But he knew that not all changes were visible to the naked eye. He hadn’t lied when he said his divorce from Cindy had changed him, and he suspected there had been things in Erica’s marriage that had changed her, things she wasn’t willing to share, not yet, anyway. He hoped that in time, she might feel able to confide in him.
‘What a lovely evening,’ Erica said, gazing up at the stars.
‘A bit different to the big city.’
‘Yes. It was the right decision to come back, despite…’
‘Your family?’
‘Mmm. I miss Briony and Ava.’
Jamie was surprised she didn’t mention her son, then remembered what Joe had told him, how her son resembled his father. Jamie felt a shiver run down his spine at the suspicion Erica might have been trapped in an unhappy marriage. At least he and Cindy had parted without too much hassle, and he had been able to get on with his life. He didn’t want to imagine what Erica might have suffered.
‘Tell me about them,’ he said.
Jamie saw Erica smile. ‘Briony’s wonderful,’ she said. ‘She lost her own mother and has always called me Mum. I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter-in-law. And little Ava’s a delight, still a baby but so cute. I love them both to bits.’ She was silent for a few moments, clearly remembering.
‘But not enough to stay?’ Jamie was curious about what had brought her to Pelican Crossing. She’d said the house had to be sold, and she had the option of moving in with her son and his wife, but he felt there must be more to it.
‘I needed somewhere that was mine,’ she said at last. ‘It’s why I moved into Livvy’s place, didn’t stay with Joe. My brother’s too kind and said I could stay as long as I liked. But I know he intends to sell the house, and it was still his place. I hated the feeling of being obligated to someone, even my brother. I wanted to feel free. Is that too selfish of me?’ Erica turned towards Jamie, her eyes widening.
‘No, not at all.’ He was gaining an insight into her marriage. If she wanted to feel free, it confirmed his suspicion that she’d felt trapped in her marriage. Bad though his marriage to Cindy had been towards the end, neither of them had felt trapped. His heart went out to Erica and he vowed he’d do whatever he could to ensure she never felt that way again.
‘You deserve to be happy, and if being here in Pelican Crossing makes you happy, then it was the right decision to make,’ he said.
‘Thanks, Jamie. That means a lot to me.’
Her words encouraged Jamie to risk saying what had been on his mind since they stepped onto the sand. ‘Being together on the beach like this… it brings back memories.’ He wondered if he dared take Erica’s hand again. It had felt so good when he grasped it as they left the wine bar, but he got the impression it wouldn’t be welcome here on the beach.
‘That was in a different lifetime, Jamie.’ Erica’s voice was cool. ‘I don’t believe in looking back. It can only cause heartache.’
Wow! What had happened to the happy-go-lucky girl he’d known to make her so cynical?
Not knowing how to respond, Jamie didn’t immediately reply. They walked along in silence for a few minutes, then he said, ‘How about we pretend we’ve just met? Now we’re neighbours, can we become friends too?’ He wasn’t sure how he’d manage it, with the memories which filled his mind each time he thought about Erica… and which overflowed when he was with her. But perhaps she was right. They couldn’t live in the past, nor could they change it.
Jamie held his breath waiting for Erica’s reply.
*
Erica had been enjoying wandering along the beach, the gentle lapping of the waves, and the sand between her toes so different to the hard surfaces she was accustomed to walking on. Then Jamie had to go and spoil it by reminding her of the past, a past she wanted to forget. She saw his expression change, the look of disappointment he tried to hide, then his suggestion they pretend they had just met.
She thought for a moment. Could that work? Could she and Jamie put their past behind them and start over? Perhaps, though this time there would be nothing more than friendship between them. Erica knew she could never trust a man again, not even Jamie. And she couldn’t trust herself to know a good man from a bad one. Geoff’s influence had seen to that.
‘I guess we could be friends,’ she said warily, only to see his eyes brighten. ‘But only friends,’ she added quickly. ‘I’m done with relationships.’
‘Okay. I can handle that. We all need friends.’
‘Right.’ Maybe she had read too much into his memories talk. Maybe they were on the same page. Why had she immediately jumped to the conclusion Jamie wanted to carry on where they’d left off? Was she the fool here?
They continued to wander slowly along the beach, chatting about the changes Erica had noticed in Pelican Crossing till they came to the pathway which led up to her cottage.
‘Looks like you’re home,’ Jamie said.
‘Thanks for a lovely evening,’ Erica said when they reached her gate.
‘Thank you. I don’t have the chance to get out very often, the odd meal with the boys, a drink with a mate, but they all have their own lives and don’t have a lot of time for a single guy like me. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a miserable old man.’
‘You’re not old,’ Erica replied. ‘You’re the same age as Joe and he’d punch anyone who called him old.’ And you’re still as handsome as you were at eighteen, perhaps even distinguished with the streaks of grey in your hair.
‘You’re right,’ Jamie sighed, ‘but sometimes, when I look at Rory and Gary, I feel life has passed me by.’
‘You and me both, then.’ It was exactly how Erica had felt when she left Perth. But here in Pelican Crossing, it was as if she had a new lease of life.
‘Well, friend, why don’t we do something about it? When did you last go surfing?’
Erica laughed. ‘Surfing? I can’t remember, but I do join a group of wild swimmers each morning when my shifts permit. Does that count?’
‘Wow, you’re one of those crazy women? I’ve heard about them. You always did enjoy extreme sports. Sorry, as a new friend I’m not supposed to know that.’ He chuckled.
Erica could see this might be more complicated than she’d thought. They couldn’t completely expunge everything they knew about each other. ‘How about kitesurfing? I see Gary organises “amazing kitesurfing adventures”,’ she said, quoting from Gary’s publicity brochure, which she’d picked up soon after she arrived, meaning to do something about it one day.
Jamie seemed to think for a moment then, ‘He hasn’t managed to get me involved yet, but it could be a good idea. I’ll check it out with him. Can I let you know?’
‘Sure. Thanks again for tonight.’ Erica smiled and slipped through the gate before Jamie could say anything more, and before he could make any move to… Her heart thumped at the memory of the kisses they used to share. Forgetting the past wasn’t going to be easy.