Twenty
Erica desperately needed to talk to someone about Jamie. Joe was no use – he was Jamie’s friend. And Gill would be sure to share anything Erica told her with him. That left Rhana, who had managed to make a life for herself without involving a man in it. Although Erica had always suspected there had been someone, a relationship that was doomed, one Rhana had chosen never to share, not even with her two closest friends.
As soon as she’d mentioned kitesurfing to Jamie, she’d wished she hadn’t. But it was too late. He’d latched on to the idea, and now she’d agreed to join him on a kitesurfing adventure with Gary and a group of other people who would probably be half their age. What had she been thinking?
The truth was, she hadn’t been thinking. All she had wanted was to change the topic of conversation which was veering too close to the past for comfort. Now she was stuck with spending more time with him. While the prospect of learning kitesurfing did appeal, it was the thought of doing it with Jamie and his son that worried her.
Now, after five days in the emergency department, during which she’d tried to switch off all thoughts of Jamie, she had a day off and was heading out to visit Rhana.
It was good to get out of town, to drive through the countryside, through the fields of tall cane. It reminded her of the early history of this part of the country and the slave labour which had once been brought here to harvest the crops, first burning it, then cutting it. Thankfully, those days were long gone, and the farmers now used mechanical means to harvest the sugar cane while it was still green, using the roots to grow new crops.
By the time she reached the gate to Rhana’s property with its now familiar sign featuring a cocker spaniel, Erica was feeling calmer than she had all week, and wondered if she had been worrying about nothing.
Rhana came to greet her, wearing her usual outfit of jeans and a tee-shirt, three dogs at her heels. ‘How are you?’ she greeted Erica. ‘You sounded stressed on the phone. Not bad news from Perth, I hope?’
‘No, nothing like that,’ Erica said, though she did still harbour concern about Briony who seemed to be finding life challenging. She said it was with Kieren working all hours, but Erica couldn’t help wondering if there was more to it, if Kieren was being as controlling as his father had been. She’d tried calling him and suggesting he needed to spend more time with Briony, to help her with Ava, but her words seemed to fall on deaf ears.
‘Well, let’s get you inside. I have coffee brewing and a batch of banana bread just out of the oven. You can tell me all while we eat. Everything seems better over coffee and cake.’ Her tone was cheerful, but she shot Erica a piercing glance. It was difficult to hide anything from Rhana.
‘Now, what’s bothering you? You didn’t come all this way for my company.’
‘I might have. You’re my only friend here, now Livvy’s gone.’
‘Rubbish. There are a few others from our year still around. There’s…’
But Erica didn’t want a list of former schoolmates, most of whom she hadn’t related to when she was in her teens. She, Rhana and Livvy had formed such a closeknit group, there had been no room for others. She picked up her cup and took a sip of coffee. ‘Mmm, this is good,’ she said to stem her friend’s talk.
‘It’s Gloria Jean’s English Toffee. I buy the beans online. And stalling is pointless. Answer my question about what’s bothering you.’
Erica sighed and put her cup down. ‘It’s Jamie.’
‘You’ve seen him again? I thought you said you weren’t interested.’
‘I’m not! Oh, Rhana, it’s complicated.’
‘It usually is where a man is concerned,’ Rhana said, making Erica wonder again what had happened in her friend’s life, what she was hiding. ‘Banana bread?’ She held out the plate to Erica.
‘Thanks.’ Erica took a slice and put it down on her plate. ‘Jamie came into Emergency. He had a fishing hook in his hand, and I had to help treat him, then…’ she took a deep breath, ‘… I went to his cottage to remove the dressing.’
‘So? That’s it? Doesn’t sound too complicated to me, though I don’t expect you make a habit of treating patients in their home.’
‘No, I don’t.’ Erica took a sip of coffee and a bite of banana bread before continuing. ‘But it doesn’t stop there. He wanted to thank me so invited me for a drink and…’
‘You went on a date with him?’
Erica shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ‘I suppose you could call it a date.’ She decided to say nothing about their walk on the beach, or about the frisson she’d felt when Jamie took her hand in the wine bar. ‘Anyway, I made it quite clear I didn’t want any mention of the past and…’
‘Jamie didn’t get the message?’
‘No, we came to an agreement to start over as friends and neighbours, nothing more. But we know so much about each other. He knows how much I enjoy the outdoors, like being adventurous – or did. There hasn’t been much opportunity for that sort of thing for a long time. Now I’ve agreed to go kitesurfing with him. His son runs these adventure sessions.’
‘Sounds like fun… your sort of fun. You wouldn’t get me in one of these contraptions. So, what’s the problem?’
‘I don’t know. It’s just that… Oh, Rhana, what if he expects, if he thinks… if he wants more than friendship?’
‘There’s only one way to find out. And would it be such a bad thing? I know what you said about not getting involved with another man, but Jamie isn’t a stranger. He’s still the same person you dated for two years. Sure, you’re both older and the years haven’t been altogether kind to you – his life has been no picnic either – but deep down you haven’t changed. He hasn’t either. Jamie Whittaker is well-respected in Pelican Crossing. The way he coped with being left with two teenagers, set up a new business from scratch and made a success of it. There are a lot of women who’d jump at the chance of becoming the second Mrs Whittaker, but he’s remained single since Cindy left. I always thought he still held a candle for you.’ Rhana put her head to one side and stared at Erica.
Erica felt herself redden. Surely not! Surely Jamie hadn’t spent over thirty years yearning for her? No, it was too preposterous to contemplate. And it made their new friendship seem so false if he… She shook her head as if she could dismiss her friend’s words. ‘I doubt that,’ she said.
‘Don’t be too quick to dismiss the possibility. Jamie’s a good guy. He’s not like your husband.’
Erica visibly shivered at the mention of her dead husband. But if what Rhana said was true, it put a whole new complexion on their friendship, one she wasn’t sure she could cope with.
‘I’m sorry, but you did start this conversation. Isn’t it why you came?’
‘Yes, I…’ Erica floundered. Had she imagined Rhana would tell her she was mad seeing Jamie again, or hoped she would say exactly what she had, and encourage her to see his good points?
‘You’re not like me, Erica. You’re not designed to be alone. You’ve always needed people around you. Look how you headed straight to Joe both times you left Perth.’
‘But…’ Where else would she have gone? Joe was family. Pelican Crossing was her hometown. Erica thought for a moment. Maybe Rhana was right, but… ‘I’m on my own at Livvy’s and I love it. I have no one to answer to. I feel free for the first time in my life’
‘I’m happy for you, but is it what you really want… for the rest of your life?’
Rhana’s words hit Erica like a splash of cold water. She was happy now. That was true. But what about in ten years’ time, twenty? Did she really want to grow old alone? Almost everyone she knew – except Rhana and Livvy – was part of a couple, and while Rhana seemed to thrive on her isolated existence, Erica knew Livvy would love to have a partner, someone to come home to at night, cuddle up to in bed. There hadn’t been much of that with Geoff in the latter years of their marriage. She had been too busy trying to avoid his anger to feel any sort of comfort. But what if…?
An image of Jamie appeared in her mind. Not the smart, clean-shaven, well-dressed Jamie she had drinks with, had walked on the beach with, but the Jamie wearing jeans and an old tee-shirt, his hair awry, his chin and cheeks peppered with stubble, the way he had been when she removed his dressing, the way she remembered him. What would it be like to come home to that Jamie every day, to know he was there to comfort her after a busy day at work, to be able to cuddle up to him and let all her cares fall away?