Thirty-eight
Jamie blinked, unable to believe his eyes. He was on his way to The Blue Dolphin Café to meet his boys with Mandy and little Archie for breakfast, when he caught sight of Erica with her daughter and granddaughter seated outside the café. Quickening his step, he approached them. ‘Good morning. This is a piece of luck,’ he said, surprised when instead of the smile he expected, he was greeted by a frown.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here,’ Erica said, her voice far from welcoming.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here, either. Rory called me last night to say he and Gary were having breakfast here, along with Mandy and Archie, of course, and invited me to join them. I never refuse the opportunity to spend time with my grandson. You’d understand that.’ He gestured to where Ava was watching him intently. ‘Here they are now,’ he added, as they came into sight, Mandy wheeling a stroller not unlike the one Erica’s granddaughter was lying in. It would provide a chance to introduce the two younger women and perhaps arrange a get-together.
To his surprise, Erica’s expression changed to one of relief. ‘Oh, you’re meeting your family,’ she said. ‘How nice.’
Jamie was perplexed. Where was the woman who had welcomed his embrace, who had kissed him passionately only a few days earlier?
His family arrived before he could respond, and there was the usual kerfuffle as he introduced them to Briony and her to them, then as the two young women admired each other’s babies. Then they went inside the café and the opportunity for any further conversation with Erica was lost… for the moment. But he determined to talk to her later. He needed to find out what was wrong, what had happened to change her.
They ordered breakfast, Jamie and his sons choosing the Big Breakfast, while Mandy opted for smashed avocado on toast and berated Gary for his unhealthy choice, to which Gary only laughed and said it was Sunday.
While they continued to bicker amicably, and Rory teased Gary about being henpecked, Jamie checked on Erica through the window. She seemed happier now, laughing and chatting with her daughter-in-law and cooing at the baby. So, it was him she was displeased with. Puzzled, he tried to figure out what could have happened between them saying goodbye the previous evening and now, but couldn’t come up with anything.
‘What’s with you and Erica, Dad?’ Gary asked. ‘You haven’t been kitesurfing again. I thought you both enjoyed it.’
‘We did.’ Jamie pulled on one ear. ‘It’s complicated.’
‘Isn’t it always,’ Mandy said, ‘but I’ll tell you what I told my mum.’
Jamie gave an amused smile. He didn’t need Mandy’s help. But he forced himself to listen.
‘I suspect, like her, you get lonely at times, now both Gary and Rory are gone.’ She nodded as if to confirm her words. ‘You need more fun in your life. Why don’t you try…’
‘Steady on, Mandy,’ Gary interrupted. ‘You can’t tell my dad what to do… though maybe…’ he added with a grin. ‘Mandy signed her mum up to one of those online dating sites.’
Jamie didn’t know whether to laugh or flare up. A dating site? Him? That was for people desperate to connect. He wasn’t desperate for a woman. There was only one woman he wanted in his life, and she seemed to blow hot and cold. With Erica, it was a case of one step forward, two back. ‘I don’t think so,’ he said, as he watched Erica and her little family leave without a backward glance. He sighed.
‘You okay, Dad?’ Rory asked. He was always more sensitive than his brother. ‘Gary didn’t mean anything. It was a joke.’
Jamie sent him a grateful look.
But Gary hadn’t finished. ‘You didn’t answer, Dad. You and Erica. Is it a thing? Maybe Dad doesn’t need the help of a dating site,’ he said to Mandy.
‘I’m not sure what you mean by a thing, what that entails in today’s parlance. We are friends. We go back a long way. I’ve always been good mates with her brother. We grew up together,’ he said, unconsciously parroting Erica’s explanation of their relationship to Briony.
‘Okay,’ Gary said. ‘Mandy was just trying to be helpful.’
‘I know. It’s okay.’ Jamie had a vague recollection of hearing how she had tried to set her mother up before she and Finn got together.
No more was said on the topic as the conversation turned to the coast walk the group of women were organising and in which all three of the young people intended to participate. ‘What about you, Dad?’ Rory asked. ‘Going to join us? You’re not too old,’ he laughed.
‘And you’re not too old for me to cuff your ear,’ Jamie responded. ‘For your information I do intend to go, along with Cam and Poppy, Finn and Liz, Joe and Gill, and Rachel and Luke.’ As he spoke, he remembered that Erica would no doubt be part of that group too. He needed to find out what was bothering her. He’d call as soon as he got home. Maybe he was imagining things.
*
Erica hadn’t enjoyed her breakfast. She had been too aware of Jamie sitting inside the café, conscious she had acted cool towards him. It had been a shock to see him, for him to behave as if nothing had happened, which of course it hadn’t for him. He hadn’t been privy to Briony’s comment, been aware of Erica’s sleepless night, of the guilt which had flooded her at her daughter-in-law’s words.
He deserved an explanation. The poor man must be wondering what had happened to change her from the woman who had accepted, even encouraged his embraces, to one who could barely speak to him. Erica bit her lip as she tried to fashion the words which would describe her predicament in a way he would understand. She was no further forward in her thinking when her phone rang, and she saw Jamie’s number on the screen. Glad Briony was busy with Ava, she walked out to the back yard and pressed to accept the call.
Without waiting for him to speak, Erica said, ‘Jamie, I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. What must you think of me?’
There was a moment’s silence then Jamie said, ‘Is everything all right, Erica?’
The sound of his voice, his concerned tone, sent Erica’s heart plummeting. ‘It is and it isn’t. Briony saw us kissing and she said something that concerned me. We need to talk. I’m not sure…’ Her voice trailed off as she tried to work out how they could meet without Briony knowing. There was no way.
Seeming to understand her dilemma, Jamie said, ‘Could you slip out when she’s asleep? Why don’t you text me? We could meet at your gate and go for a walk along the beach… in the moonlight.’
‘O… kay.’ A few days ago, she’d have been excited about the prospect of a romantic walk with Jamie in the moonlight. Now, the only emotion coursing through her was the worry of how she was going to tell him they needed to pause their relationship until… until when? Erica was at a loss. There were no guidelines for this sort of thing, no accepted pattern of behaviour. She guessed most people in her situation would undergo a period of grieving, but she felt no grief at Geoff’s death, only a profound sense of relief. She supposed there had been an initial period of grief, but that had more to do with her shock than anything else. It had quickly been overtaken by the realisation that he couldn’t hurt her anymore.
The rest of the day passed pleasantly. Erica showed Briony and Ava around Pelican Crossing, they called in to see Joe and Gill, who welcomed them, and where Coco took a liking to Ava and stood guard over her stroller. Then they came back to the cottage for a quiet dinner. To Erica, it seemed ages before Briony stretched her arms above her head and said, ‘I’m off to bed now, Mum. It’s been a lovely day, thanks. I’ll see you in the morning. Will you be going for an early morning swim again?’
‘Not tomorrow,’ Erica replied, though she had a feeling she might well feel like one, depending how the conversation with Jamie went. ‘Goodnight, sweetheart.’ The women hugged, and Briony went off to bed.
Erica picked up her book but was unable to concentrate. When she was sure Briony would be asleep, she texted Jamie then, pulling on a jacket, opened the door and went out. It was a cool, clear evening. Erica wrapped her arms around her and looked up at the sky where the stars seemed to be shining even more brightly than usual.
Despite her decision to put their relationship on hold, Erica couldn’t prevent the way her heart leapt at the sight of Jamie hurrying towards her.
‘Hey,’ he said, taking hold of her shoulders and kissing her gently on the cheek.
Erica didn’t resist, as she breathed in his familiar scent, a mixture of his cologne and soap. It felt so good. He felt so good. How could she give this up? But Briony and Ava were important to her. They were family, while Jamie was… What was he? An old flame? A promise for the future, a future which she might now have to give up – or at least put on hold – until sometime in the distant future when people might think a suitable period of mourning had passed? She couldn’t ask Jamie to wait that long.
‘Good to see you. You got away okay?’
‘As you see.’ Erica felt like the teenager who had slipped out without her parents’ knowledge, as she had done many other times. It had been to meet Jamie then too. She smiled at the memory.
‘Just like old times,’ he said, reading her mind. He’d always been good at that, but he could have no idea what she was about to say. He took her hand, and Erica didn’t resist as they made their way down to the beach.
It was only when they reached the sand, that she noticed he was carrying a blanket and she was transported back to her teens, to the nights they’d gone to the beach to lie on a blanket on the sand, gaze up at the stars and make plans for the future. Tonight, when he laid the blanket on the sand, they sat on it instead of lying.
‘Now, are you going to tell me what’s up,’ Jamie asked, throwing an arm around her shoulders, ‘why you acted so oddly at The Blue Dolphin this morning?’
The firm grip of Jamie’s hand on her shoulder gave Erica the courage to speak. ‘It’s Briony,’ she said.
‘Is she sick? Or has she said something about your son? You did say you were worried he might be like his dad.’
‘No.’ Erica shook her head. ‘I haven’t had a chance to talk to her about Kieren yet.’ Though she must. Briony had said a few things that confirmed her suspicions. ‘It’s you… you and me. She saw us… last night, and… she says she’s pleased for me, that I deserve to be happy, but…’ Erica picked at a loose piece of thread on the blanket, ‘… she thinks it’s too soon.’
‘Too soon for what?’
‘Too soon after Geoff’s death for me to form a relationship.’ Erica glanced at Jamie to see his lips tighten.
‘That’s rubbish. From what you’ve told me about him, your husband was a violent, controlling bastard… and she expects you to observe what she considers to be a suitable period of mourning?’ His voice was shaking with anger. ‘Surely you’re not going to agree?’
Erica pulled on the loose thread again before replying. ‘She’s my daughter-in-law, Jamie. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been like a mother to her, and I have to respect her wishes. You’d do the same if Mandy…’ her voice trailed off as not only did she realise Mandy would never suggest such a thing but that, even if she did, he’d tell her it was none of her business. Jamie’s next words confirmed it.
‘What you choose to do or not to do is none of her damned business. You mean to say you’re going to let her dictate to you who you can see, who you can…’
Erica was glad Jamie stopped there, and didn’t continue that line of thought… or didn’t voice it, anyway. He wasn’t making this any easier for her. But had she thought he would? ‘I’m sorry, Jamie, but…’
He didn’t allow her to finish, rising and saying, ‘If that’s the way you feel, we’re done here,’ and leaving her sitting on his blanket, he stormed off.