Chapter 20
CHAPTER
Justin could hear Ben snoring from the kitchen.
It was early, but they had a busy day ahead, and he needed Ben on his feet and functioning, not nursing what he suspected was going to be the mother of all hangovers.
He hadn’t seen his brother that drunk in a long time.
Not since the first months after they struck out on their own, when the wounds were still fresh.
Those wounds had been re-opened when they were assigned to Wagtail Ridge, but maybe it was time he woke up, in more ways than one.
Justin hit the switch on the coffee maker before heading for the bunk room. He wasn’t that cruel.
Ben was still groaning when he came into the kitchen, fresh from the shower but seemingly not yet able to button the shirt of his uniform. Justin poured him some strong black coffee and said nothing. Ben took a deep drink and held the mug out for a refill.
‘Go on, big brother. Say it.’
‘Say what?’ Justin refilled the mug and returned it.
‘That I shouldn’t have made such a fool of myself last night. That I’m drinking too much.’
‘I don’t need to say it. You obviously know that already.’
‘So get off my back.’ Ben opened the fridge and pulled out a box of leftover pizza, which he dropped on the table. He took out a slice and bit into it.
Justin shook his head. ‘It’s that bad, is it?’
‘Like you’ve never had a hangover.’ Ben grimaced and tossed the half-eaten slice back into the pizza box.
Justin had just about had enough. ‘Stop it.’
The tone of his voice made Ben pause.
‘Little brother, this has gone far enough. You’re not just making a fool of yourself, all this drinking is affecting your work. When did you last do a decent workout? You’re not fit. Your hands shake. Your concentration is off. What the hell is happening? You weren’t like this a few weeks ago.’
‘A few weeks ago, she hadn’t come back into our lives. And my twin brother wasn’t gallivanting around with some woman.’
‘I guessed this was about our mother. But what has Anna ever done to you?’
‘It’s not her. It’s you.’
Justin blinked in surprise. ‘What have I done?’
‘You’re all I’ve got. You have been since we were seventeen. And now …’
‘Now what?’
‘Now I seem to be the last person you think about. First there’s that vet—’
‘Anna? Come on, Ben. I’ve been on one date with her. You’re usually the one busy with the girls. And you’re more than happy to go drinking down the pub. Too happy, if you ask me.’
Ben didn’t bite. Or shrug the whole thing off, as Justin had hoped. He was too fixated on his grievances, real or otherwise.
‘And then you’re starting to patch things up with our mother. After what she did to us.’
‘She is still our mother. And, yes, I would like to reconnect with her. She might not have been the best mother in the world, but she didn’t do anything unforgivable.’
‘Not to you. But she lied to me for seventeen years.’
‘About a few minutes of time. That’s all.’
‘But those few minutes were enough to change my whole life. Things could have been so different for me.’
‘Is your life so terrible now that you want to change everything?’
‘Well, for a start, I wouldn’t have spent my whole life in the shadow of my perfect big brother. Who now wants to play happy families again with our mother and is so busy with his new woman that he won’t even have a beer with me.’
‘Ben …’ Justin put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but Ben shrugged it off and stepped away. That hurt. ‘Fine. But you’re sounding like that teenager again. You remember him? The kid I left home to protect? The kid I looked after and trained and helped find a job and a decent life?’
Ben didn’t reply.
‘I’m going for a run. When I get back, we’ve got work. We have a firebreak to clear south of town. You’d better be up for it.’
Justin left the kitchen and paused just long enough to change into his running gear before he set out, the steady pounding of his feet a salve to his anger and hurt.
***
When Justin returned from his run, Ben was fully kitted out, had the back of the truck open and was checking their gear.
Justin headed for the shower. By the time he was ready, so was the truck.
He got behind the wheel without a word and drove out of town with Ben equally silent beside him.
It didn’t take long to reach their destination.
The property owner was waiting for them, three of his men by his side.
They had brought a small tractor with a dozer blade attached. That would help a lot.
After introductions, they set to work. Justin surveyed the lie of the land, the water sources and the bush.
Then they set about clearing and burning back the undergrowth to protect the buildings should a fire spread their way.
It was hot and dusty work under a full, blazing sun.
Despite their fight, Justin and Ben soon settled into the easy working routine that had developed between them over the years.
Each knew exactly what the other was doing.
The volunteers proved to be hard workers, and Justin soon found himself falling into training mode: he didn’t just tell the men what to do, he explained why they were doing it.
‘Don’t ever underestimate the speed at which a fire can move, especially with a good wind behind it.’
‘And if we can’t get out of its way?’
‘Dave, right?’
The man who asked the question nodded.
‘Wherever you are, keep an eye open for a safety zone. Be aware of any water or gullies where you can seek refuge. And every homestead should have a safe place on standby. I can give you some advice for building one here, if you like.’
‘Thanks.’
‘And of course, it would be great if you joined the RFS volunteers here. Not just Dave, but all of you. The beast is bigger and stronger than a single man. But a community can beat it.’
The group nodded and Justin made a mental note to talk to Jake at the pub about following up their offer.
By mid-afternoon, the fire threat was looking a lot less. Except in one direction.
‘What’s over there?’ Justin pointed to a thick patch of scrub with a white building partially visible through the trees.
‘That’s the neighbour. You may know of her. Carol the koala lady,’ Dave offered.
Beside Justin, Ben stopped moving.
‘She looks after injured wildlife. We help her out when she needs it. I was planning to suggest it would be good for both her and us if we tidied her place up a bit today too.’
‘We don’t have time—’ Ben started to say.
Justin spoke over the top of him. ‘That’s a good idea. We’ll do that. In fact, Ben, why don’t you take a couple of guys over there and get started? The rest of us will follow when we are finished here.’
His brother looked daggers in his direction, but Justin knew he wouldn’t say anything. For all his problems, Ben was a professional. Justin nodded to a couple of the guys and they threw their tools into a farm ute. Ben swung into the back of it and they drove off.
***
The drive to Carol’s house took only a few minutes, but by the time they got there, Ben was running a full head of steam, most of it directed at his brother.
How could Justin send him here, knowing how things stood between him and their mother?
Was this some sort of punishment for getting drunk last night?
As the vehicle came to a stop in front of the weatherboard cottage with its crisp white paint, Ben’s thoughts drifted back to a cottage so very like this one.
The paint on that cottage had been faded and peeling.
That yard, not neatly mowed like this one.
The garden, if you could call it that, around the house he’d grown up in had been unkempt and ugly.
No flower beds, not even a swing set for two energetic boys.
Inside the house had been as clean and tidy as possible with two boys, but the floors had been covered with cheap lino and the furniture had, as far as he could tell, all been second hand or very well used.
They had been poor, with no money for treats or school outings or the like.
But poor didn’t have to mean neglect or dishonesty. It didn’t excuse the lies.
As he jumped down from the back of the ute, a woman appeared from behind the house.
‘Hello,’ his mother said. Her face was white and her expression stiff. Part of him was glad that she was as put off by this unexpected meeting as he was.
‘Hi, Carol. How are you? Are the repairs we did on that wombat enclosure last month holding up?’ one of the two men with Ben said. They obviously knew and seemed to like the woman he could barely bring himself to face.
‘They’re great. Thanks again.’ Despite her reply to his companion, Carol hadn’t taken her eyes off Ben.
‘We’re here to help you clear a firebreak,’ the man continued. ‘Around the house and the cages. They’re saying this bushfire season is going to be a bad one.’
Carol nodded, her gaze never shifting from Ben’s face. ‘Did Justin send you?’
Ben was the only one who really understood that the question was aimed solely at him.
‘Yes,’ he answered abruptly. ‘He’ll be here shortly with some more help. We need to take a good look at the outside of the house.’ He strode off before she could answer.
He saw them as he rounded the corner of the house, three enclosures, each with a sunsail spread above for protection from the summer heat.
Each enclosure had two sides made of corrugated iron and two of wire mesh.
The enclosures were well thought out and well constructed.
Inside, thick tree branches and parts of tree trunk provided homes for the occupants.
He could see some of them. Koalas. Of course, Ben thought. There were always going to be koalas.
‘It’s good to see you, Ben.’ His mother had followed him.
Without turning to look at her, he began to give an assessment of the work that needed to be done to protect not just the house but also the enclosures in case of fire.
‘And we should also do something along your fence line to protect the stables on the other side,’ he concluded.
By this time, his companions had joined him and there was no chance for his mother to speak to him alone.
Good. That was exactly what he’d wanted.
They set to work and when he next looked around, Carol was nowhere to be seen.
About an hour later, the sound of an approaching vehicle heralded the arrival of Justin and two more of the men from the nearby stud. They joined the workers.
After a time, there was a shout from the house: ‘I’ve got the kettle on. Or there’s a cold drink for anyone who wants it.’
As all the other workers headed for the house, Ben hung back until Justin stepped to his side.
‘You can be an utter bastard sometimes,’ Ben told his brother.
‘As can you.’ Justin kept walking.
Ben heard him greet their mother and accept a hot drink.
He hesitated, but after all the hard work, he could use a cold drink.
Not only that, he could see the other blokes casting confused looks his way.
He walked back to the house. The others had gathered on the front veranda, taking advantage of the shade it offered. He walked up the stairs to join them.
‘All I want is water,’ he said.
He avoided meeting Carol’s eyes as she handed him the glass and immediately stepped away to stand near the open door to the house.
His companions were chatting freely and laughing.
Carol and Justin were standing a little away from the group, talking quietly.
Ben moved a bit closer, trying to catch their words.
‘He’s been angry for a very long time …’
‘… forgive me?’
‘I can. I have, but there is a lot more for Ben to forgive.’
His brother was right about that, and Ben was in no mood for forgiveness today.
He placed his empty glass on the table. As he did, his gaze passed over the open door into the house.
He froze. The light pouring through the open doorway fell on a small hall table.
And on the table was a framed photo of two boys aged about twelve.
Two identical boys in school uniforms standing in front of a different house, in a town a couple of hundred kilometres from here.
A photo that had been a part of Carol’s home for almost twenty years.
He remembered that day as clearly as if it had been yesterday.
They hadn’t been at school early enough for the class photo, which was taken at the start of the day, while the kids were all still neat and tidy.
They hadn’t made it because Carol had stopped to investigate a dead roo on the side of the road, in case there was a joey in its pouch.
There wasn’t, but dealing with a dead animal like that was gross. At least, Ben thought it was.
‘But how about I take a photo of both of you?’ Carol had said, trying to make it up to them. ‘I bet that’ll be nicer than the school photo.’
And cheaper too, Ben now realised. That’s why she’d done it.
At the time, all he knew was that he was missing out on a photo with all his schoolmates.
She’d kept her promise and taken that photo.
The frame back then was a cheap plastic one, but it had taken pride of place on the bookshelf.
The photo was in a silver frame now, but the pride of place hadn’t changed one bit.
Ben felt some of the cold, hard anger inside him crack. Just a little. He turned away to resume the task of protecting this home, and its resident, against bushfires.