Chapter 8
8
LOGAN
W ell, we were off to a great start there. As soon as Kelli gets in the kitchen, I turn and punch Brian in the shoulder. “You need to cool it. She woke up yesterday thinking everything was fine and in the span of 24 hours, everything has changed. We know she is safest here, but we need her to be able to feel that. She is still a person with feelings, and to that point, a very strong independent person based on her career and your stories. You have stripped her of all of that.” I level him with a glare and move it to Josh. “And you need to make an effort to be kind to her. Both of you need to do better.”
I hop up in search of Kelli, catching her halfway up the stairs. “Kelli, wait,” I state as she stops and turns to me, and I immediately feel like an asshole seeing the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry about that. I meant it when I said we want you here. How about I show you around so you can see it’s not too shabby of a place to be on house arrest,” I joke.
She wipes her eyes and chuckles. My distraction techniques have always been a strong suit of mine. “Alright come on, we can start upstairs.” I step around her and walk up the steps to her and Josh’s side. “You already saw your room and the bathroom. Obviously, this is Josh’s command central.”
I push Josh’s bedroom door open. His room is all dark woods, blacks and grays just like his bathroom. On one wall he has a large desk with three monitors and all his tech he has designed on shelves around it. “We all have offices downstairs, but he prefers to do most of his geeky stuff up here. Don’t tell people, but we are all a little geeky in this house.” She makes a hum sound as she looks around, but doesn’t enter the room so I move on. “Brian and I have rooms on this side. We both have private bathrooms that you are welcome to use if you ever need to.” I take her to Brian’s bedroom first. His bed is a mess of sheets and blankets, which is not at all like him, so I know he is on the way to spiraling into a dark place again.
Kelli actually walks into his room and lets her fingers trail on his dresser, looking at all the photos lined up above it. I’m doing my best not to watch her too closely, but damn, it’s hard. I’ve seen photos of her, in fact one is hanging in front of her right now, but they do nothing to capture her beauty. Her tight black leggings are hugging her long muscular legs and accentuating her perky round ass. She has a cropped baggy sweater on that shows off her toned stomach, but hides the rest of her. A small button nose and pouty pink lips. What really gets me, though, is her light blue eyes and the secrets they hold. She holds so much depth and emotion in one look and it tugs at something in me.
“Has he had these photos up long?” She asks, looking at one on the end of her asleep on Brian’s chest he had taken. It is the same photo he had printed and hung by his bed in our barracks when he came back from his leave at home.
“Since the day he moved in.” She looks up at it one last time before walking back towards the door. We go to my room next, and I feel a little bout of anxiety. I haven’t had a woman in this room yet and I suddenly feel aware of the clothes sitting on the floor next to the hamper. My bed is also a mess, but that is par for the course with me. “Here is my home sweet home.” I watch her walk around my room, taking it all in. I have forest green walls with white furniture and a comforter. She looks at the few photos I have on my walls of my family, then peeks into my bathroom, which I know has stuff all over the counter.
“I don’t know why I expected this place to be a mess, but you guys are surprisingly clean and organized.” She walks back toward the hall. “Well, the other two are at least,” she says, smirking over her shoulder. She’s got me there. I keep the house clean, but my room is the one place just for me, and the mess makes me feel more human.
“It’s that military training that has been ingrained in us. I probably do the most cleaning of the three of us, but we all pitch in.”
She slows as we walk back down the stairs. “That’s surprising. I can help with that while I’m here, I find cleaning relaxing. I’m also a pretty decent cook, so I am happy to help with meals, too. Do you guys normally eat together?”
“I’m never going to turn down help, but know you don’t have to do anything. We eat most dinners together when we can, but fend for ourselves the rest of the time. Sometimes on the weekends, we do breakfast together like this morning.” Dishes clang from one of the guys still cleaning up in the kitchen, so I head to the stairs leading down to the basement.
“Oh, okay. What are your guys’ schedules like? Do you work with Josh and Brian for their security company?”
With a hand to her lower back, I angle her toward the movie room first. “I actually am a detective for the county, working as a computer forensic investigator. I can work from home a bit, but travel to any of the precincts in the county to help with any cases they need worked on in person. Josh and Brian don’t necessarily hold typical business hours. Josh is always working on upgrading and reworking the tech, and Brian focuses more on the business aspect of it. They travel sometimes for client meetings and such, but are pretty flexible in their schedules. But continuing on with the tour, this is what we call the movie room. Feel free to use it and anything in it whenever.”
When designing the remodel for this place, this room was my favorite. Along one side wall is built in shelves with books, knick-knacks and games. In the center of the room is a large U-shaped couch that could easily seat 10 but mostly we use it for sprawling out to watch movies or play video games when the mood strikes. On the main wall is a large projection screen that rolls up when we aren’t using it. The other side wall has a small poker table and two leather chairs that only Josh uses when he can’t sleep and sneaks down here to read. Kelli smiles to herself as she reads over the titles of some of the books. When she turns back to me, I wave my hand for her toward the gym on the other side of the basement.
I push open the heavy door, “This is our gym. It is sound proof, so if you want to blast your music, go ahead.” She walks further in taking in all the equipment and space. We have a row of free weights, a squat rack, treadmills, rower, and bike. We also have a large mat we use for sparring, a punching bag, and an area with yoga mats, bands and mobility sticks for our cool down. As three men that had to stay physically fit for so many years, this was necessary but it also has become our safe space to work out our lingering frustrations.
“This is really nice. I don’t think I can come down here though, I would only embarrass myself around you guys.” Her eyes drift to my arms and linger before moving back up to my face.
I try to hold my grin back, but fail. “There is never any judgment here. Plus, it could be fun to train with us, I bet you could even convince Josh to spar with you. He could really teach you a lot.” Her eyebrow raises in question. “He may be a big guy, but he is surprisingly nimble and quick. Brian and I have yet to get him pinned without him allowing it.”
She laughs at that as we move back upstairs. It’s a beautiful and carefree sound that I want to hear again. “Whose house is this, by the way, or do you guys own it together?”
I figured that question was coming. My family’s money has always made me a little uncomfortable. I’m not into materialistic things or shows of wealth like them. This 3,700 square foot home has been my only splurge, and it would be considered a modest home by the rest of my family’s standards. It’s also caused problems with women in the past when they found out how much my family is worth.
“Technically it’s in my name, but it is all of ours. I bought it before I joined the Army after falling in love with the location, but it was just a small run-down cabin. When we all started talking about getting out of the military, I had it remodeled and extended to make it perfect for us.”
A sweet smile graces her lips, and damn it if I don’t love her smile. “That’s pretty amazing of you. To not only share your home with friends, but to also build it to specifically fit them. I can see why you love it, though.” She absentmindedly stares out the wall of windows overlooking the water in the living room.
“They’re family. It’s what you do for your family. Let’s continue this, shall we? Josh helped to design this living room. He wanted the large stone fireplace and wall of windows. These four actually all slide together into the far wall to make it almost completely open to the deck.” In front of the fireplace is a brown leather couch, loveseat and two chairs arranged around a round coffee table. We have a few odd blankets and décor items thrown around the room, but it’s glaringly obvious this home is inhabited by three men. The dining room is open to the living room and has a long live edge table. “You have already seen the kitchen, and laundry room, so that just leaves this hall.”
With a gentle hand on her back, I steer her down the hall. Her warm skin below the sweater is smooth against my fingers as I hold back from gripping her further. “Half bath is on the right here, and then these two doors are offices. Mine is on the end, and this one, Josh and Brian share.” The door is cracked, so I push it open to a glaring Brian. His eyes soften as soon as they land on Kelli, but go right back to glaring at me when he sees my hand at her back.
“Hey, Kel, what do you think of the house so far?” Brian moves his gaze back to her and roams down her body. Her body goes rigid in front of me the longer she stays in front of him.
“There are worse places to be on house arrest” she quips. I can’t help my smirk at her snarky repeated phrase.
“I’m sorry, Kel, I didn’t mean to make you upset. What can I do?” He looks pained, eye brows pinched together. I know how much love he has for this girl, he just doesn’t know how to show it anymore. I want to help him, but I also want Kelli to feel comfortable in this house and her body language right now is showing anything but.
“Let me finish my tour in peace.” With that she walks out and heads for my office.
I just shrug at him hoping time between them both will help. “Give her time, man.” With a rap of my knuckles on the door frame, I turn to follow Kelli.
I find her in my office looking at all the photos on the shelves behind my desk. “Is this your family?” She asks, pointing at a photo of my brothers, parents and I at a New Year’s party my parents hosted a few years back.
“Yeah, Luke and Caden are both older than me. They followed in my parent’s footsteps; Luke is a surgeon like my mother and Caden is a corporate lawyer like my father.” It is clear, even from that photo, how different I am from my family. They were all dressed in brand names, not a wrinkle between them, whereas I was in jeans and a button down, much to my parent’s dismay. They still don’t understand why I decided to join the Army, and while they certainly aren’t disappointed in me, my accomplishments will always pale in comparison to my brothers.
“You all look so happy,” her quiet voice sounds sad.
“What about your family?” I ask. I know she has no siblings from Brian, but that’s about it.
“It’s always just been my mom and me. It was lonely growing up. She is a great mom and she did her best with me, but she worked a lot and I was put on the back burner pretty frequently. That’s why it was so great when I met Danny and his whole family took me in.” She smiles up at me. “Brian and Danny fought with me like I was their long-lost sister, and their parents showed up at my soccer games when my mom couldn’t. Their mom took me prom dress shopping, she even bought me my first bra.” I chuckle with her at that, as that sounds exactly like the Stirling family I have come to know and love. “They let me feel what it was like to be part of a family. Set the standards for what I want when the time comes for me to have one.”
She turns back to the shelves and continues looking at the photos. It made my chest feel heavy that she felt she had to be part of someone else’s family and not her own. My parents hired nannies to help with us boys because of their wild schedules, but when they were home, they tried to be all in with us. Sitting at the table helping us with homework when they could, showing up to major events, taking us on trips without outside distractions. Every kid should have parents that put them first.
“Look at you all,” she squeals, pointing at a photo of our squad on our last tour. “Wow, you guys look hot in your uniforms.” My blood heats in a way I won’t be telling Brian about. “Do you guys still keep in touch with everyone?”
A knot wells up in my throat like it always does thinking about that last tour. Brian never steps foot in my office, and I know this photo is the reason. While I like it as a reminder of the incredible team we had and in honor of the life we lost, he feels it’s a reminder of his failures. No matter how many times we have told him it was not his fault, he held onto that guilt. There were nine of us that worked as a team for most of that deployment. We all were really close, spending the majority of our down time together as well. We had two women, Kayla and Ashley, on the team. Ashley and another member, Caleb, fell in love while overseas and started talking about getting married once they got home. We all watched it happen and should have said something and gotten them separated, but seeing a love like theirs had us letting them quietly break the unspoken rules.
Six weeks before our deployment ended, we were sent on a mission to gather further intel on a tip that had been handed down to us. We were in a two-car motorcade traveling toward a small town to get surveillance and drone photos to verify if the tip was good or not when we were ambushed. Our route was blocked with a car on fire, and before we could get turned around, gunshots were ringing out. We took on heavy fire and were vastly outnumbered. Josh took shrapnel in the thigh when the IED exploded next to us, and Henry, another member, was shot in the shoulder. While most of the rest of us escaped with only cuts and bruises, Ashley took a hit to the neck that ended her life immediately. Brian was the officer in charge of that mission and the one who planned out the route that we took. Because of that, Caleb still hasn’t forgiven Brian, and Brian has never forgiven himself.
“Mostly,” is all that I offer her. I put my hand on her back again, encouraging her to move toward the door, wanting to be done with the conversation.
“Can we walk down to the water?” Kelli asks, looking so full of excitement and thankfully not picking up on my mood shift. Seeing a true smile on her face helps brighten my mood as we head out the sliding doors to the back porch. The center of the porch houses an outdoor sofa with a small fire pit in the center and an outdoor table and chairs. Both sides have a covered section, one housing our small outdoor kitchen, the other housing our hot tub. As we walk through the yard, I tell her about our security measures out here which include scattered cameras along the property line and the yard line that are triggered by movement.
When we get to the small pebbly beach, Kelli immediately toes off her sandals and dips her feet in the water. A loud laugh bursts from me at the surprised scream she lets loose. “Oh, come on, it can’t be that cold,” I taunt knowing full well that water is cold year round. She slowly turns around with a glint in her eyes and I know I’m in trouble.
“Oh yeah?” She kicks her leg at me, sending water spraying over my sweats. I can’t believe the boys are inside sulking and pissing off this woman. Her whole world is crashing around her and yet here she is trying to make the most of the situation and not letting it wreck her. When her whole face lights up and she lets out a lighthearted and carefree laugh, I feel the radiance of it down to my bones. There are people that you cross paths with in life that you just know are going to stamp themselves on your soul, and you get to keep a piece of them forever. I’ve always considered it a passport of sorts, where I collect these little moments and pieces of others to carry with me always. Watching Kelli splash around in the cold water, face turned up to the sun, a look of absolute reverence on her face… yeah, she was officially stamped.
“You’re going to get it now!” I grab her around the waist, hiking her over my shoulder and walk further into the water. Squeals and giggles erupt from behind me as she tries to grab onto my shoulders and pinch my lower back, yelling at me to put her down. “Put you down, eh?” I’m up to my knees now in the water, but hold Kelli up high enough her toes are barely touching the water. I gently slide her down my body, lowering her into the water while she kicks her legs, soaking both of us even more.
We both race back to the shore laughing. She plops down on the beach, not a care in the world that her leggings are soaked and the ground is dirty. I sit down next to her, enjoying the companionable silence for a while. This small beach and private lake is a big reason for me originally buying this land, yet I couldn’t think of the last time I had come out here to just sit and enjoy it. Eventually, she broke the silence. “Thank you, Logan. I really needed this today.”
I let my head roll to the side, taking her in. Her bun is coming undone, strands of her hair sticking out all over, her face flushed, and yet, she’s by far the most striking woman I have met. I cross my arms over my bent knees so I won’t be tempted to push her hair behind her ear. “You can talk to me, you know?” I watch her shoulders hunch as she starts closing herself off immediately, her whole body seizing up. “But if you just need someone to hang out with and clear that mind of yours, I’m your guy for that, too.”
I want her to open up to me. I want to know more about her than what Brian has shared over the years. I have always been the one that my friends come to with problems. The level- headed, think it through with an outside perspective type. I know I could help Kelli with how she was feeling, but I needed her to open up to me. We stayed out on the beach for another two hours, talking and joking with each other before eventually making our way back inside. As Kelli headed upstairs to shower and nap, I decided to head to the local precinct to see what I could find out about her case and see if I could help.