Chapter 9
9
KELLI
A fter spending the morning with Logan, I took a quick rinse to shower off the lake. I told Logan I was going to nap, but I just needed an hour to myself to unpack my things and clear my head. I was surprised to find my closet filled with empty hangers for my clothes. By the time everything was unpacked and neatly put away, my stomach was growling again. Venturing out of my room, I went in search of the boys to see if they had eaten lunch yet. I still don’t love the idea of being stuck here, but I’m still grateful for them taking me in and keeping me safe. Since Josh was right across the hall, I decide to start there. His door is cracked open, so I knock, then slowly push it open. He turns around in his desk chair when I peek in.
“Hey, Kelli, are you okay?” Taking that as an invitation, I walk a little further in his room. His computer setup looks totally different with all the monitors on lighting up the wires and parts spread out over his desk. The slight scent of cedar and vanilla surrounds me as I walk towards him.
“Yeah, I just wanted to see if you have had lunch yet? I was going to make a sandwich and can make one for you if you would like.”
His eyebrows hike up, a little surprised before they soften and his lip quirks up, but he quickly shuts it down returning to a blank face. “I would love one, thanks. I just need to finish this and I will be right down.”
“Perfect, do you know where Logan and Brian are? Figured I would ask them, too.”
“Logan went into work, but Brian is probably in his office.” His back turns to me as he starts tinkering with the parts on his desk again, so I exit his room and mosey downstairs to find Brian. Josh’s brash attitude shouldn’t surprise me after he set up my cameras, but the brush off still stung a little. The office door downstairs is wide open, showing Brian slumped behind his desk blankly staring at his computer.
“I work the same way with patients; if I stare at them long enough, they just fix themselves,” I quip from the doorway, trying to gauge his mood. His brown eyes meet mine with a smile on his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Apparently everyone but Logan is going to act a little standoffish with me here. Logan said they want me here, but with these reactions, I can’t help but feel like I’m a burden.
“Please tell me you need something I can help with because this client contract is frying my brain.” His long legs eat up the distance between us easily until he is hovering over me, pushing a piece of my wild hair behind my ear. His fingers trace down the side of my face stopping to hold my neck possessively. “I’m sorry I was harsh. I just need to know that you’re okay. I know I overstepped.”
I cover his hand on the side of my neck with my own before letting it trail down his arm and fall back to my side, giving him a small nod. “I was going to make sandwiches for Josh and me, and wanted to see if you would like one, too?” He pulls on that strand of my hair he just pushed back like he used to when we were kids, dropping a chaste kiss on my head before walking past me heading for the kitchen. I stare after him a little dumbfounded.
“Let’s go, I’m not making these by myself,” he calls over his shoulder as I follow him, shaking my head. I guess he’s getting over his attitude from this morning. As frustrated as I am with him, he holds a large part of my heart and I miss being able to joke and talk with him. He and Danny have always been my best friends, and it really hurt losing him in that capacity.
I pull out ingredients from the fridge while he gets what we need from the pantry. We work in companionable silence, him handing me plates with the bread ready while I cut up tomato and lettuce slices. I put the meat and cheese on while he spreads on the condiments. I forgot how well we worked as a team and how easy it could be between us. When we were kids, we could have conversations with just our eyes. It used to drive Danny crazy. Our age gap has never inhibited our connection and ability to just be real with each other. When I got frustrated with my mom missing another soccer game, or not coming home until way after dinner without telling me, Brian was always the one I went to. It wasn’t until I was in my teens that I felt that connection change for me. Danny joked once that he saw my ‘crush’ on his brother, but it was so much more than a crush to me.
Josh came down and we all grabbed a plate and went outside to sit on the patio to eat. We talked about their company and how things were going with it. I had no idea that they were so successful. Danny has mentioned it randomly throughout the years that things were going well, but I didn’t realize the extent of that. They had contracts with businesses all throughout Maine, Massachusetts and New Hampshire, along with those bought for personal use spread throughout the United States. As it turns out, they only have employees to install the systems in businesses and homes within that three-state radius. Even with that, most who bought for their homes installed everything themselves. It made more sense now why Josh came out to install mine and not a random employee.
I told them about the best, worst, and funniest cases that I have worked on in the emergency room. The assumption that we don’t see funny scenarios is widely inaccurate. At least twice a month we get the ‘fell and accidentally impaled themselves in the ass’ people. Drunk men coming in with injuries due to a dare or bet was pretty common as well. I loved a good break from work, but I expressed to them the guilt I felt about leaving work without notice. Despite the circumstances, I knew I was leaving the hospital even more short staffed and sitting around has never been a strong suit of mine.
With a lull in the conversation, I turn to Josh. “Logan mentioned that you would be a good sparring partner and could teach me how to get out of some dicey situations. Would you have time to do that this week?” His green eyes widened with excitement but were quickly replaced by a look of unease. After a glance to Brian, his eyes soften and he nods.
“Can you be up and in the gym by 6:30 every morning?”
“Absolutely! Can we start tomorrow?” I was really looking forward to it. Being able to better defend myself would help my confidence, plus I wasn’t going to complain about rolling around on a mat with him. Today he’s wearing a shirt that hugs every muscle in his body from his defined pecs down to the v leading into his tight jeans. I take in the warm summer day around us to stop myself from drooling and blatantly staring more than I already have been.
“You know, I could teach you, too.” Brian nudges my knee with his. Refusing to meet my eye, he keeps his gaze solely fixed on his plate, but I can see the hurt there.
“I know, but Logan said sparring was Josh’s specialty. Would you want to take evening walks with me, or maybe we can tinker around in your flower garden? I really can’t sit around here for however long this takes.” A muscle in Brian’s jaw twitches as he grinds his teeth.
“Yeah, that’s fine. You can hang out in my office whenever you would like. Josh and I have talked about handing over some of our responsibility to others and decided we can start that now in order to be available to you these next few weeks.” I felt a punch in the walls around my heart that they have already talked about spending more time with me. While I don’t want to be a responsibility to them, the thought that they’re doing this for me feels really good. Or, it did until I realized what he said.
“Weeks?!” I practically screamed at him. “You think they won’t catch this guy for weeks?” I can’t stay here for weeks. I need to get back to work, and they would definitely fire me for being gone that long. Plus, what would I do for weeks on end while here? My heart cannot handle being this close to Brian for that long. I have spent years telling myself that he doesn’t want me and I have to move on. Being in his house for the last not even 24 hours has been hard enough. My soul called to his. My body was calling to all three of the guys and that is a recipe for disaster if I have to spend weeks here.
“Catching a stalker is not easy. Most cases go unsolved, and most of the solved cases only happen when the stalker gets bold and does something risky like attempting to kidnap or approach the person.” Brian doesn’t even look sorry about it. Josh at least looks at me with pity, but that doesn’t feel much better. “You aren’t leaving here until he is caught. Alex and Logan have been in contact, and Alex informed him that HR at the hospital has put you on leave indefinitely until it is safe for you again. They are being really understanding. Logan can show you the emails when he gets home, but ideally, we don’t want you emailing them without an encrypted computer so your IP can’t be traced.”
I stare at him in absolute shock. How dare they do this behind my back. I have worked my ass off for the career that I have, and I love working in the emergency room at Mercy . I push my chair back and walk back into the house, letting the slider slam shut on my way in. As if taking away my freedoms here isn’t bad enough, now they are messing with my career. I head back to my room, but the thought of Brian coming to talk to me before I calm down has me grabbing my Kindle and heading to Logan’s room, crawling into his big bed to read. His pillows smell like a mix of cinnamon and my favorite Juniper tree, a heady and intoxicating scent.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I wake to Logan gently rubbing my shoulder. “Hey, Kelli, I made dinner if you want some?” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes like earlier. Either he doesn’t like me in his room, or he talked to the guys about my little outburst earlier. I sit up to follow him downstairs when he pauses at the doorway. “I’m sorry that we talked to the hospital on your behalf. Alex was assured this would not impact your job security, and that your job would be waiting for you when you get back. For what it’s worth, they spoke very highly of you and said they would do whatever it took to get you back to them safely, but understood the severity and extenuating circumstances of the situation.”
This is exactly why I went to Logan’s room. In 24 hours he has been more understanding and in tune to my emotions and thoughts than even Danny who has been my best friend for twenty years. I have never met a man who is so willing to apologize and eager to make me feel seen. It calls to something in me, because the only other person who I have ever felt truly seen by is Brian. While here though, he has been bulldozing me with his words and actions and not making any effort to make sure I am okay with any of it. “Thanks, but I still don’t appreciate being treated like this isn’t my life. If you guys would have talked to me, then I could have relayed that to my job.”
Downstairs in the kitchen, I make a plate then head to the dining room, choosing the seat next to Josh. I keep my head down and don’t get involved in the conversation. I decided I will make an effort to talk with Josh and Brian and clear things up tomorrow, but I need the space for today. If I have to stay here for the foreseeable future, then I need them all to be honest with me about what is going on. As Logan and I loaded the dishwasher and wiped the counters, he invited me downstairs to watch a movie with the three of them.
After only one day here, I was already exhausted despite my nap. My head was a mess. Reading my Kindle in that bathtub upstairs, being able to work through all my thoughts and feelings was too enticing, so I declined. After a solid soak in the tub, I set my alarm for 6 AM and tossed and turned until finally falling asleep.