Chapter 11
11
KELLI
“ B etter be ready for the havoc you’re crafting.” I joke back, throwing my shirt off to the side so I have room to spread out. My body is wrecked, my arms feel like they’re made of Jell-o and yet, my mind is clear and all my lingering anxiety is gone. I need to cool down and give myself some time to psych myself up for the two sets of stairs between myself and a shower. I stretch my legs out in front of me, reaching for my toes. As Josh follows suit, I notice his shorts ride up revealing a jagged scar leading up his thigh. The muscle below the scar is a little disfigured, but still well defined and large.
He shifts uncomfortably, pulling his shorts back down to cover it. Back in nursing school, I did some volunteer work with the local military hospital. I learned quickly that most of those men and women who sustained injuries hated the amount of pity they received. I have no pity for Josh though, just empathy and maybe a little medical intrigue. Treading carefully is going to be the key here.
“Can I ask about the scar?”
“What about it?”
“When did you get it? It’s really impressive that you have no limp or altered gait. You must have had a great physical therapy team.” I spread my legs wide leaning down to one side as he follows again.
His gruff voice sends chills down my spine. “Four years ago on deployment. It was rough there for a while, but Brian really pulled me through it all.” We switch to the other leg, continuing to stretch.
“Do you want to talk about it? I don’t want to pry.”
He sits up and runs a hand through his sweaty hair, pinning me with a pained look. “Yeah, I think it would be good for you to hear about this.” I’m not sure what he means, so I stay quiet, waiting for him to talk when he’s ready. His voice is low but strong as he continues. “There was an incident toward the end of our last deployment. An IED exploded near me, causing a large piece of shrapnel to get embedded in my leg. Logan and Brian were with me at the time, but thankfully, they didn’t sustain any major injuries. They got the bleeding under control the best they could, but we were still under fire so it took a bit to get us all back to base.”
His eyes had a faraway look, like he was back there, living the moment again in his mind. “I lost a lot of blood, but I was alive. The docs there rushed me into surgery and called it a success, but the wound had been exposed to a lot of bacteria and shit. They had a plan to fly me to the nearest military treatment facility as soon as I was stable. Not even 24 hours after surgery though, my leg was turning purple and I had a fever around 104.”
“Sepsis,” I whispered.
“Yeah. Brian had stayed with me that whole time and was freaking out. He was yelling at everyone, trying to get me flown out ASAP. When they got a helicopter ready to take me, he refused to leave my side. He got threatened with an Article 92 for it, but he went with me anyway. When we got to the hospital, they rushed me back into surgery. I had flesh-eating bacteria, so they had to remove the infected muscle and tissue.”
He leans back, lifting his shorts all the way up to his groin, showing me the entire thing. The scar is about ten inches long, wrapping from his inner to outer thigh. It’s not a clean, smooth line, likely from the amount of muscle and tissue that was removed. I lean forward a little, my fingers itching to touch the muscles around it, but not daring to ruin this moment. He watches my every movement, then lifts his other side up as well so I can see the comparison.
“I lost a lot of my muscle. Despite all the work in physical therapy and since, my thighs are still different sizes, but the pain is minimal and movement and mobility is at about ninety-five percent of where it was before. I wish that was the end of the story. After the second surgery, the infection spread to my foot. They said that it can travel through the bloodstream, and although they removed all the infected tissue, it can still happen. They wanted to amputate.”
My breath hitches. I have seen a number of cases where the patient seems to be the exception and one bad thing after another seems to happen to them. It’s hard to watch and to even understand why one person’s outcome can be so different from another’s, despite similar injuries and treatment plans.
“Brian fought for me though. He refused to accept that as the only option. There was the option for high dose antibiotics to stop the spread, but they wanted to take the safe option of amputation. I was hopped up on so many painkillers, I probably would have allowed it had Brian not been there advocating for me. My life would have been a lot different without him. He bulldozes sometimes.” My head cocks to the side giving him a pointed stare. “Okay, he bulldozes a lot,” he chuckles, “but he does it with the best of intentions. When he loves, he loves with his entire being and there is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, he wouldn’t do for those he loves.”
“I get that. I’ve seen it most my life. I’m sorry you went through all of that, but I’m glad you had him by your side.” His green gaze is fixed on mine, so I let a smirk free. “Scars on guys are hot though. Gives you a mysterious bad boy vibe.”
His laugh is loud and hearty, his head thrown back as his chest bounces. “Did I really need the scar to be seen that way?”
“No.” I answer honestly with a smile. We stare at each other in silence for a moment, his eyes roaming over my face before they soften and he looks down.
“About last night…” he starts.
“We don’t need to talk about it,” I cut in quickly. It’s the first time I have ever had a nightmare that felt that real. I wasn’t able to go back to sleep after Josh left, and I was a little embarrassed that I woke him up from it.
“I had them, too. They started a few weeks after that second surgery. I would see myself lying on the side of the road bleeding out. Sometimes I would picture myself waking up, realizing my leg was gone. Logan and Brian took turns waking me up because I would wake them up with my screams.” His eyes stayed glued to the water bottle he was holding, his fingers playing with the label. The silence stretched between us as I tried to find the right thing to say. Finally, his green eyes traveled up my body, landing on mine. “It’s okay to get them. It’s okay to feel however you feel. You don’t need to be embarrassed about anything here with us. We just want to help, and I just wanted you to know that I understand. If you ever want to talk about it, you can.”
He looks uncomfortable with this conversation, and yet he’s opening up for me. To help me. My eyes burn, tears forming on the lower lashes trying to break free. I didn’t expect this from Josh, especially with the minimal talking he has done so far. I don’t feel like a burden to him. One rogue tear breaks free, sliding down my cheek before I can brush it away. He’s giving me a glimpse into who he is, and even a little insight into the man Brian has become. He is just doing his best to protect me. It seems like they all are, and after only one day here, they are making me feel more cared for and seen than I have in years. Maybe this house arrest won’t be so bad.
Josh lets me sit in my feelings, giving me the option to talk about it now. I’m not ready, though. I don’t want to relive it yet. He must sense that I’m not ready to open up about it, so he gathers his water and sweat towel, heading for the door. “Thank you Josh. For everything.” His hand stalls on the door for a moment as he looks at me with care. He nods once, then lets the heavy door slam behind him, leaving me to let my tears free in peace.
When I finally make my way upstairs, the water in our shared bath is running so I grab some clothes and sneak into Logan’s bathroom to take a shower. His bed is messy as I walk past, and it brings a smile to my lips. The rest of this house is so clean. Even in his bathroom, there’s no toothpaste in the sink, no stains in the shower, but his things thrown around his bedroom makes him a little endearing. I don’t forget to grab a towel from his shelf before getting in the shower so I don’t have a repeat of the other day. I do steal his shower gel, though, to wash off all the sweat as his cinnamon scent clings to my skin. I like it more than I want to admit, knowing if he were to wrap me in a hug, this is what he would smell like.
After getting dressed, I make my way downstairs to find Logan rummaging around in the pantry. “What are you doing in there?”
His head pops around the door with a wide smile. “Hey you. I was thinking of doing some baking, would you like to help?”
“Absolutely! What are we going to make?”
“I was thinking maybe some muffins. There are blueberry bushes out back that need picking that we can put in the muffins.”
“I love blueberries! I’ve never made muffins from scratch, but I am great at following instructions.” He starts pulling jars from the pantry, handing them to me as I line them up on the island.
As he hands me the sugar, his fingers brush against mine. His eyes meet mine for a moment as he leans closer, breathing me in. “You smell like me.”
My cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Yeah, sorry. Josh was in our shower and you said I could use yours. I didn’t have my shower stuff, so I borrowed yours.”
“Don’t apologize, baby girl. I like it. You can use my stuff whenever you need.” He grabs two bowls from a cabinet, handing one to me. “Shall we go get some blueberries?”
We make our way out to the side of the house where there is a cluster of blueberry bushes bursting with blues and purples. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. We will have way more than just for the muffins.”
He starts picking the ones toward the top, so I start on the bottom. “Yeah, Josh eats these things like candy. He planted these bushes right after he moved in. Whatever we don’t use, he will demolish in a day.” I love that they are hands on with their food like this.
“Do you guys have a vegetable garden?” I ask plopping some more blueberries into the bowl.
“No, it’s been talked about, but none of us have an exceptionally green thumb. Brian tends to the flowers around the house for the most part, but he has been so focused on growing the business that a garden has been pushed to the backburner.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. His mom loved to garden, she taught me everything I know about it. We used to spend hours helping her weed and prune in her garden when we were kids. I still love it to this day. I like that you guys do everything around here. I thought for sure when I saw the size of this place, you would have a lawn service and cleaners.”
He looks at me with mock horror. “What?! No way, we do it all. Josh mows, I cook and clean, and Brian does the flowers and most of the wood chopping, but we all pitch in and help each other out wherever it’s needed. I’ve been taking on the mowing this month since Josh is deep in research for his new camera, and even though he would never ask for the help, I know he needs it.”
I love that. I love the clear love and respect that they all have for each other. With full bowls, we head back inside to start on the muffins. I wash all the blueberries while Logan starts to measure out the ingredients seemingly from memory. “Don’t you need a cookbook or something?”
He whips his head around to me. “That’s twice you’ve offended me this morning now, Kelli. Take a man out at the knees, why don’t you.”
Giggling, I grab the towel on the counter and whip it at him, striking him in the back of the leg. “Shut it. I just didn’t expect you to have exact measurements memorized.”
His eyes narrow, a mischievous smile gracing his lips. “You’ve done it now, pretty girl.” With a quick flick of his wrist into the bowl he’s holding, I am covered in a dusting of flour. I squeal, whipping the towel at him again before trying to make a break for it around the island. Logan’s long legs leap up and over the island in pursuit. He attempts to leap down in front of me, the bowl of measured out flour still in his hands. My feet are moving too fast and I slam right into his chest with an audible thud, taking us both out. As he falls back, he lets go of the bowl to grab my arms, angling me to fall onto him instead of backwards.
I lay there for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell just happened, and marveling at how quickly Logan saved me from cracking my head open when he starts sputtering beneath me. Sitting up, I look at him flat on his back below me covered in flour as he tries to spit it out of his mouth. Laughter bubbles out of me as I try to wipe it from his face. “Are you okay?” I manage to wheeze out between my laughter that just won’t stop now.
His hands reach around, tickling into my sides. “Oh this is funny, huh? Just wait until you see your hair, Cruella.” I squirm in his lap trying to get out of his grasp, gasping for air between my laughter.
“Okay, okay! I concede!” He lets go of my hips as I try to slide off his body while attempting to ignore his growing dick below me. His dimples pop as he smiles and winks at me, helping us both stand up. Clumps of flour fall from my hair as I shake my head. “Damn, you weren’t kidding. I’m covered in it.”
“Guess we don’t need aprons at this point.” His hands wipe down my back and over my ass in the guise of helping clean me off, so I take advantage as well letting my hands trail through his soft hair and down the hard planes of his abs. He steps around the island to start measuring out the flour into a new bowl when we are semi cleaned off. I mix the wet ingredients together as he pours some protein powder into the dry mix.
“Do you guys go through a lot of that stuff?” I ask putting muffin liners in the tin pan.
“Sometimes. We try to get our protein through lean meats and such, but it definitely gets used. Josh uses it the most. He often makes a protein shake instead of lunch or for a snack.”
“Do you think he would like it if I made him some protein rich snacks?”
Logan pauses to look at me, his blue eyes bright as he takes me in. “Yeah, I think he would love that.” Once we have all the mix scooped into the liners, Logan puts it into the oven and starts cleaning up the mess and washing the dishes. I help with the dishes, then raid the pantry for the ingredients I need. Unsurprising with Logan’s baking habits, they have everything I need. Logan sits at the island as I combine ingredients for blueberry protein balls for Josh.
“It’s really nice of you to do that for him,” he says, snacking on the leftover blueberries.
“He really helped me out this morning.” I almost want to tell him that he opened up to me about his nightmares, but it felt like a private moment, and even though Logan already knew about them, I felt like saying it would break Josh’s trust. “I just want to do something to show him that I’m grateful.”
“Hmmm,” he says with a mouth full. “Is this where you saw yourself at twenty-six?”
“Hiding out with three guys, two of whom I barely know? No, I can’t say it is.”
He chucks a blueberry at my head as I continue rolling the ingredients into little balls. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, for the most part, it is. I thought I would be in a steady relationship by this point. Maybe married. But that’s my own fault for working so much. I had goals of owning a home and having a thriving career, and I have both of those, so that’s good. Is this where you saw yourself at thirty? Are you thirty?”
He chuckles, “Yes, I’m thirty. Josh is thirty-one, and I’m sure you know B is thirty-two. At eighteen, when I joined the Army, I thought for sure I would do the full twenty years of service, but the deployments and being unsettled all the time was hard. I never saw myself living in the woods with my two best friends but I wouldn’t change it. I also thought I would be married by now.”
“Why aren’t you?”
“I haven’t found the right woman. I’ve dated around some, had a girlfriend I could have loved, but she didn’t understand me living with the guys. She thought it was weird, and wanted to get our own place. I didn’t like that, I want a wife who loves the guys as much as I do. We have talked about raising our kids together, our wives being best friends. She clearly wasn’t the one since she didn’t even try to get to know them. I’m ready though, for marriage and kids. I have my life put together, everything settled, and now, I’m just waiting for the right one to come along.”
“I can understand that. There was an anesthesiologist at work I was flirting with for a while. We had similar schedules, similar interests, and he seemed well put together. One day, Danny brought me lunch and we ran into the guy in the hall. Turns out he has a problem with ‘the gays,’ as he so eloquently put it. I shut that down so fast. It’s important to find someone who not only fits with those in your life, but who also wants to fit with them.” I stack up the protein balls into little storage containers and put them into the fridge as Logan pulls the muffins from the oven.
When I turn around, Logan is there, blocking me with his body. His hand skates down my face before gripping the side of my neck. He leans forward, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. “Thank you for your help,” he whispers against my skin. Pulling away, his soft eyes linger on mine. “I’m going to shower all this flour off. If you want to smell like me again later, just let me know.” With that, he’s gone, but the feel of his hands possessively on my neck stays behind.