Chapter 13
13
JOSH
T he next few days all start the same way with Kelli and I training every morning. I find myself leaving my room more often than normal, working down in the office with Brian just to see where Kelli is and if she’s doing okay. Her resilience shines through in our training, but I see the pain in her eyes. Some days she is better at hiding it than others, but behind her easy smiles and lighthearted jokes, I see the battle she is trying to fight alone. I didn’t realize how much I had isolated myself until Brian mentioned how nice it was to spend time together again, even if it was just working in the same space. While it wasn’t the reason for being down here more, I have to agree with him.
Kelli spends some time reading on the porch after breakfast when the weather is nice, then spends most of her time with Logan. They hang down by the beach, cook and bake together, and even clean together. Yesterday, I walked into my room to find my laundry folded in nice piles on my bed. Logan has never done my laundry before, so I know that it was her. I wanted to say thank you, but like the coward I am, I never brought it up. I haven’t had someone do nice things for me just because. The guys and I all help each other out, but we don’t go out of our way to do things like that.
I’m the only one who has done my laundry since I was 10 until her. She’s constantly doing nice shit like that for me, making me lunch and leaving it on my desk when I’m busy or wiping down the mats and equipment when we are done training when she noticed I stayed back to do it every time. This week she mowed the lawn, which is my chore and she made protein snacks for me. She told me about them when I came down to snag a fresh muffin. I thought they were for everyone until Logan told me she made them special with blueberries just for me. There has also been a bowl of fresh picked berries in the fridge every day with a sticky note with my name on it that I know is from her. Part of me hates all that she’s doing because my thoughts are constantly being overrun by her and my body feels alive when she’s around.
Logan’s deep laughter mixed with her light and sunny laugh makes its way through the house. I have to admit, it brightens the place up a lot. Having her here has made me realize how long the three of us have been in survival mode. Since moving in here together, we really haven’t done anything but focus on our careers. Logan has dated a little here and there, but never gotten to the point that they have come to the house or we have met them. Brian and I have gone to the bar to find someone to scratch the itch a few times, but that’s it. It makes me want her to stick around. Every morning, I feel myself being pulled further into Kelli’s orbit. She has this inner fire that comes out more and more every day that I didn’t see at first but am wildly attracted to. Every time she joins us for movie night, I see the looks from Brian and Logan, filled with hope that she will sit by them, and I know I have that same look. Even knowing they are both attracted to her, too, I can’t stop myself from thinking what it might be like to be with her.
She doesn’t take any shit from us, and yet, she has this sweet nurturing side where she quietly does these acts of service for us. She organized Brian’s filing cabinet yesterday while he was in town for a meeting after hearing him gripe about it. He thinks it was me. While I should have told him it wasn’t, I feel like that’s something they need to work out on their own.
I’m not sure Brian feels the same as me, though. I can see him tense up every time her laughter floats into the office. They had their day in the garden and they talk at meals. Yet, they still are avoiding spending too much alone time together. Brian refuses to tell her why he walked away from her all those years ago. The glances she sends his way when he isn’t looking are full of longing. The pain between them is so evident, it’s almost tangible. All it would take is an honest conversation between them to alleviate so much of it. I brought it up to Logan since that is more his area, but he thinks they need to make that leap on their own when they are ready. Until they decide to have that honest conversation, we will continue to tiptoe around their weird relationship, and all three of us will continue falling for her a little more every day.
Logan comes into the office Thursday afternoon, shutting the door behind him looking frustrated. Last Sunday morning before Kelli came downstairs, we had a discussion about ways to keep her protected here. Brian insisted that the best way forward was to clone her phone, his insistence on ensuring her safety and wellbeing understandable. He felt that was the best way to keep an eye on any messages she may be getting from her stalker. Logan and I didn’t love the idea of it, and I fought hard against it. Brian is sure that if we ask her, she’ll say no. His pained expression as he explained how he had his heart walking around outside of his chest with her ultimately got Logan to side with him. I didn’t agree that it needed to be behind her back. I was outnumbered though, so Logan cloned her phone that afternoon while she was asleep in his room. So far, she has only gotten one message on her Instagram from someone named Mr.Winter that said You can run, but can you hide? Logan made sure to delete it from her phone, but has been working with his department on trying to track down the IP of who created the account.
Despite voicing my opinion, they decided we should keep it from her. While I understand their desire to protect her, she deserves to know the truth when this is her life. They don’t even know about her nightmares and if I tell them, I fear they will just push harder to keep all this from her. She asked us for honesty, though, and I have seen her strength. I know she can handle this. It’s just one more message so far and certainly not the worst he has sent her. She is so much stronger than they give her credit for, even in this fucked up situation.
“Have you been able to find anything on this guy?” Brian asks when Logan sits on the couch between our desks.
“No, not yet. This guy isn’t your average Joe. He clearly has a background in tech and knows what he’s doing. I talked to Alex today and none of the notes have any fingerprints or DNA on them, and no cameras around the hospital or her home have caught anything or they have been wiped.” He sits forward putting his elbow on his knees and hangs his head. “I am waging this internal war of wanting to find this jackass and making him pay, yet hoping we don’t so she can stay with us. I like her here.”
I look to Brian and see his jaw tighten. I have been waiting for the fall out between them, because while I feel I have kept my feelings toward Kelli pretty hidden, Logan has not. He flirts with her all day, and is constantly finding excuses to touch her that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel any jealousy toward it, but I see the heated looks Brian gives him. His jealousy is wavering just below the surface and I don’t think it will take much for it to bubble over. Finding this guy is a top priority for all of us, but it’s easy to see we all have a similar internal war going on.
“We will just keep doing what we can to keep her safe and happy here, and you keep working with Alex and your department to do what you can to find him. If he tries to message her again, though, we need to come clean about the cloning and we need to tell her he hasn’t disappeared,” I level them both with a glare. I don’t want her to leave, and maybe knowing he is still trying to find her will ensure she wants to stay with us as long as possible.