Chapter 14
14
KELLI
G lass is shattering around me as I try to get up and run from it, but I can’t get my legs to work. They feel like they are stuck in quicksand, refusing to move. He has come for me again. I just need to get somewhere safe until help arrives. I try to pull myself down the hall using my arms. A scream rips from my throat, begging for help, but my voice is blocked out by the breaking windows. I pull my hands over my head to block out the manic laughter as more glass begins shattering over my head.
Strong hands grip my shoulders as my eyes flutter open. “Kelli, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Josh’s comforting scent hits me first, and I immediately feel at ease. Latching onto his arm, I try to steady my breaths, breathing in his signature scent, focusing on the warmth of his skin under my fingers. This is the fourth time he has had to wake me up from a nightmare, and every time, he just wakes me and leaves. I think it’s because I have yet to take him up on his offer to talk about them. I have yet to be able to fall back asleep after he leaves, and despite trying to hide it from the guys, I’m exhausted and it’s taking its toll. I squeeze his wrist as he goes to stand, “Please stay.” I can’t look him in the eye if he rejects me, but to my surprise, he doesn’t.
He doesn’t get under the blankets, instead lying over top of them on his back while he folds his arms across his stomach. I look over at him in just his boxers, looking stiff as a board, and let out a snort. “You can get under the blankets, I don’t bite. Or there’s a blanket on the chair in the corner.” He gets up to grab the throw blanket then climbs back on next to me, this time facing me. I reach out and grab hold of his hand that is folded under his head. “Thank you.”
“Go back to sleep, little flame, I’ve got you.” I close my eyes and feel his hands trail over my face, tucking my hair back and continuing lightly down my shoulder. Aside from our workouts, this is the closest we’ve been. I’ve caught a few lingering glances from him, but this is the first time I have felt like there might be something more there. I feel safe here at his side, and in no time at all, sleep takes me away.
Josh is gone when my alarm wakes me up, but the bed is still warm next to me, so he must have stayed most of the night. Training with him in the morning has been a good motivation to drag my butt out of bed. His personality is starting to slowly poke through as he gets comfortable with me, and honestly, I don’t hate it. There were some light jokes passed between us yesterday, bringing out the most genuine laughs I have heard from him yet. My original thought of him being moody and mysterious was wrong. I’m discovering he is just closed off and needs someone to help open him up and let him be comfortable enough to be vulnerable.
Putting on a pair of skimpy shorts and a tight sports bra, I make my way down to the gym. The fact that he stayed with me last night means something to me, so I figured I should pay him back by giving him something nice to look at. Every morning, it’s just been Josh and me, but when I open the door today, there’s music blasting. In the center of the mat, Josh and Logan are sparring. I gently let the door close behind me so I can watch them before they notice me. My eyes track over both of their shirtless bodies, slick with sweat. Josh’s arms, pecs and back are covered in tattoos, which only seem to accentuate his large size. Despite being the shortest of the three, he is definitely the most muscular. He has thick thighs, strong arms, a broad chest and back muscles that ripple with every movement.
He gets a good hit into Logan’s side, flipping him down on the mat easily, making my mouth water. Logan’s shoulders, biceps and chest are tattooed, as well, and where he doesn’t have the bulging muscles that Josh does, he makes up for in the definition of his muscles and abs. A clear and cut six-pack leads down to that delicious v dipping down into his shorts. As they wrestle for control on the mat, his shorts slide down a little more, and now I’m positive there is drool hanging down my chin. If I ever need material to get off to, this will be the exact scene I will play in my head.
Logan taps when Josh gets him into an arm bar, and they both get up chuckling when Logan finally notices me standing here. “See something you like, baby girl?” He smiles wide, his dimples popping out. He started calling me that yesterday, and I have to admit I don’t hate it. I joked I was going to call him Daddy, but he insisted that if someone in the house should have that name, it should be Josh because he has the ‘daddy dom’ vibes. As if I wasn’t attracted to them all enough, that definitely added to it. I have yet to really be thrown around and dominated in the bedroom, and I certainly don’t hate the idea of Josh doing it.
“I saw Daddy kick your ass, and I definitely like that,” I quip. Logan snorts as Josh chokes on his water, but his eyes flare. It doesn’t go unnoticed that he looks away and discreetly adjusts himself. Turns out Logan was right and it seems he likes the term. I would be filing that little tidbit away for later.
“It’s you and me today,” Logan says, striding over to me. “I’ve been wanting to see what your sensei is teaching you down here, so now’s your chance to kick my ass.” I smile sweetly and move to walk past him when he grabs my elbow to put his lips to my ear, “plus, I want to see what has Josh jerking off every morning in his shower after he gets done down here with you.”
My face flushes immediately at that. It’s no secret I was wet most mornings leaving here, but knowing I was having the same effect on him made me feel good. I have yet to do anything about my feelings, though. Knowing Josh hears my nightmares has me cautious of what else he might be able to hear. Now I’m thinking it might not be the worst thing if he does hear me come. I have never been shy about sex. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about taking care of a need.
“You tired of teaching me already?” I ask Josh as he grabs his shirt, flinging it over his shoulder.
“Josh and Brian have a meeting in Boston this morning, and they likely won’t be home until late. If you need anything from your house while they’re out, they can get it,” Logan answers for him.
“I’ll be back to training with you tomorrow. Don’t take it easy on him. He’s terrible at protecting his left side, so use that,” Josh calls out as he heads past me for the door. “Be good today, Kelli. Daddy will get a full report when he gets home.” With that he walks out the door and my jaw hits the floor as Logan’s loud laugh erupts from behind me.
“Damn, didn’t expect that from him. He likes you. I haven’t seen that side of him in years.” He had a quiet reverence to his voice. I knew last night when he agreed to stay with me that something between us was changing. I wasn’t really sure how to feel about it. I like Josh and I am wildly attracted to him, but he still wasn’t going out of his way to open up to me minus that first day. Logan on the other hand is so easy to talk to. Spending so much time with him this week has been great, and things have slowly been changing with us as well. His teasing and flirting are becoming more apparent, and I am certainly not mad at it. I am just as attracted to him, but can I live with these guys if something happened between one of us? What if I want something to happen between more than one of us?
On top of that, I don’t want to do anything to upset Brian. My heart still belongs to him, but we have been keeping things very surface level. I need to grow some balls and talk to him. I just want to know why he never came back for me and what changed. Does he still feel anything for me, or would he be fine with me being with one of his friends? It was a conversation I was going to make sure happened this weekend, because being in this house with these men for another week with nothing happening is looking like a slim chance.
Logan and I did a two mile run on the treadmill then sparred for an hour. Josh was right about his left side, which helped me take him down twice, but he spent most of the time kicking my ass. Every move he made also seemed way more sexual than it needed to be. I swear he was rocking his hips into mine, and grabbing my ass way more than necessary. My hands couldn’t stop themselves from trailing down his abs a few times as well, every dip in between them was as soft as it looked. Every ounce of my body begging me to let them trail down further.
As we start to tire out, sweat pouring down our bodies, we decide to do one last round. He promises to go easy on me, which is a total ploy. I get him into a headlock with my legs around his waist from behind when he taps. Instead of tapping my arm, he taps out on my leg, letting his fingers slowly graze up to my hip. As soon as I release him he flips around and has me pinned with his hips laying flat between mine lining his very hard dick with my center. I watch as his blue eyes darken, his pupils blown wide. His eyes trail down my neck to my sports bra, following the path of a bead of sweat. Leaning down, he traces his nose up my neck to my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. He nips at my ear, whispering, “You smell so fucking good after rolling around with me.”
Before I can even think of what to say, he is up and helping me stand, not one bit embarrassed about his hard on pointing at me through his shorts. He smacks me on the ass as he walks past me, not bothering to turn around when he says, “Go shower and we can make some breakfast together.” He’s out the door before I can move, leaving my jaw hanging open for the second time this morning.
I head upstairs to mine and Josh’s bathroom with the intent to take care of the ache between my thighs in the shower. If I have to potentially stay here for weeks still, something is going to have to give. The hot water soothes my sore muscles as I wash off the sweat from my workout. My hands drift down my body, rinsing off my body wash, but all I can think of is Logan’s hands in their place. I let my fingers pluck at my nipples before gliding down to the apex of my thighs. Picturing his strong fingers splaying over me before taking one finger to circle my clit. My body is so keyed up, I know it isn’t going to take me long.
Moving my thumb to my clit, I let my middle finger move further down before pushing it into me. I’m dripping from the thought of his body back on mine, his solid and impressive erection pressing into me. I ride my finger before adding a second trying to satisfy the ache. Logan’s blue eyes never leave my fantasy, the way he looked at me like he wanted to devour me. My thumb rubs faster, my fingers picking up their pace. With the thought of his hard body above mine, writhing against me, I moan out his name as I come. It’s a quick orgasm, satisfying the need, but it does nothing overall to tamp down the feelings inside of me. I take my time with the rest of my shower, washing my hair and doing a full body shave.
By the time I get downstairs, Logan is already making us pancakes. His hair is still wet and messy on his head, which just adds to his sexy disheveled look. He grins over his shoulder at me, continuing to flip the pancakes. After getting out some plates and the syrup, I cut up some strawberries and add them to a bowl with some sugar. Hopping on the island, I let my eyes explore his body as he continues to cook, in which he returns my eye fucking over his shoulder every chance he gets.
Logan finishes the pancakes, turns off the stove, then turns to face me while leaning against the counter on the other side. “You look refreshed,” he smirks.
Oh god, can he tell that I just got myself off in the shower? My face must be turning as red as it feels because he laughs, walking over placing his hands on the counter around me. Gently nudging my legs apart with his hips, he stands in between them. “The one downside of that large bathroom you love so much is that the sound in there tends to echo. It’s how I know about Josh every morning.”
He watches my face with rapt attention as realization dawns that he just heard exactly what I was doing. I pray to every god I can imagine that he at least missed out on the part where I moaned his name when I came. I have been using Logan’s bathroom to shower every morning when I finish working out because Josh always goes to the one I share with him. Evidently, I have been missing out.
I try to hide my embarrassment by making a show of slowly skimming my eyes down to his crotch. “I see your earlier problem has been taken care of as well.”
That doesn’t seem to do the trick, because he just pulls my hips closer to the edge of the counter against him. “Do you like that thought, baby girl? That I fucked my fist to thoughts of you while you fingered that pretty little pussy to thoughts of me? It took me no time at all to finish, never does with you on my mind.” I can’t hold back the moan that slips out, his hips grinding into me as he starts to harden again. My hips move forward on their own rubbing against his length drawing a moan from him this time. He takes a step back, chest heaving, but puts his forehead against mine just taking a minute to breathe. “We should eat before it gets cold.” He steps back so I can hop down, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief as I follow him with our plates to the other side of the island.
We decided to spend the rest of the day cleaning the house and the deck together. It is really nice to get out of the house for a bit, and doing these mundane things with Logan gives me a sense of normalcy despite everything going on. Spending most of the last week with him has taught me so much about him. He taught me how to make the perfect loaf of sourdough bread and the most incredible fluffy muffins. We spent so much time at their little beach, talking about anything and everything, that we brought two of their Adirondack chairs down there. Conversation with him comes easy and the silence is comfortable. He has the best sense of humor and we laugh so easily together. Yet, there is this whole other side to him, too, full of emotional maturity and a deep understanding of my feelings even when I don’t voice them.
The weather has been perfect today, so we decided to grill chicken for dinner while waiting for the guys to come back. He has avoided talking about what happened between us this morning, making my nerves buzz throughout my body. The chemistry between us is palpable, but I don’t know what he wants to happen between us, if anything at all. Before that conversation can happen, I want to take advantage of the fact that Brian isn’t around. I still have no idea what transpired to make him all but remove himself from my life and I’m tired of waiting to find out. Watching Logan man the grill with his back turned to me gives me the courage to finally ask. “Has Brian ever told you about what happened between us four years ago?”
He lowers the grill lid, striding over to sit across from me. “Yeah, baby girl, he has.” He looks almost sad, the pity written all over his face.
“What happened? What changed for him that he just cut me out of his life?” My eyes move down to my hands in my lap, unable to look him in the eye for this next question. “Was it me?”
Logan immediately moves to his knees in front of me, gently grabbing my chin so I have to look into his beautiful blue eyes. “Absolutely not. Don’t for one second think that he stopped caring for you. Even now.” His sigh is deep and filled with frustration as he seems to ponder what to say next. “Something happened to him that changed his perspective on his future. I don’t agree with it, but it’s his choice. Just like it’s his story to share with you when he is ready.” I pull back at that. He has had four years to tell me and still hasn’t. If it weren’t for my stalker, I’m not entirely sure he would even be talking to me now. “He is getting there,” Logan promises as he moves my chin to force us into eye contact again.
I just nod my head at that. Not sure if forcing Brian will be the right way to get him ready, but at this point, I’m willing to try. “I know that you have feelings for him. It’s clear there is hurt there, but I can see the looks you give him when you think no one is watching.” He clears his throat and looks out at the water. “He still has feelings for you, he never stopped and I am not sure he will ever stop wanting you. He loves you in his own way, but until he heals a part of himself and comes to terms with things, he won’t be able to love you the right way and he knows that.” He looks back at me, a look of adoration mixed with shame covering his beautiful face. “He’s my best friend, and I would do absolutely anything for him. Including not pursuing you, despite how I feel about you. That’s if you still want him, too. I need you to really hear me, Kelli. You are the most beautiful woman, inside and out. You make me feel at home in a way no one ever has, and I want you so damn bad. But if it’s Brian you want, I will keep my distance.”
A million things run through my head. I love spending time with him, flirting with him, watching his confidence shine in everything he does. If I’m honest with myself, I can see myself being happy with Logan. He felt like an instant best friend and comfort to me from my first morning here. But, he said Brian loves me so he can’t love me. What the hell does that even mean? Do I want to wait for him for another four or more years to see if he changes his mind? I don’t want to be alone anymore. Before I can try to articulate any of that, Logan plants a kiss on my head before walking back to the grill. “Really think about your feelings. You have options here. Chicken is almost done. Want to grab us some plates and the sides, and we can eat out here?” Options? What options? I guess that conversation can wait until after dinner.
It’s my first time eating dinner out on the deck, and I immediately hope it isn’t the last. There’s something so magical about it that makes me feel at peace. The early evening sun rays beaming off the water gives everything a golden hue, the breeze through the trees around us keeps it a cool and comfortable temperature, and even the chatter of the birds and little critters relaxes me. “I think I feel more at home here than I ever have anywhere else,” I confess.
Logan looks over at me, silently taking me in for a long moment. “That’s exactly what Josh said the first time I brought him and Brian here. I have always felt that way here, too. On our last deployment, Brian brought up that he was considering buying the property next-door, which got Josh and him throwing hands. Apparently, he also was looking at the property.” The smile that graces his lips is full of mirth. Looking out over the water again, he takes a sip of his beer, shaking his head at the memory. “When I showed them my ideas for the remodel and told them I wanted them to move here with me, they agreed instantly. It just felt right. They ended up buying the property next door together, so it extends the land we have around us. My parents thought for sure that the three of us were together romantically. Most people probably did,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“You three have never...” I ask, unsure how to finish that. He laughs again, warming my insides with the sound.
“Nah, I mean Josh and Brian have shared a girl a time or two, but have never been together in that sense.” That was news to me. I had trouble picturing them together with a girl, but what do I know? I’ve never had a threesome. The more I thought about it, though, the more the idea intrigued me. I could picture one of them kissing their way up my thigh while the other slid their dick into my mouth… and now I’m back to needing new panties again. I might have to add that to my list of things to ask them about at some point. “Have you ever?” he asks. I’m not sure if he means have I been with someone of the same sex or have I been shared, but the answer is the same for both.
“No, but I won’t lie and say it’s not at the forefront of my mind now. Both of them sharing me, working me over.” I suck in a deep breath as my cheeks heat. “Hell, add you in there and I don’t think I would ever leave this house again.” He groans a deep and pained sound that travels straight down to my pussy.
“Fuck, I can’t sit here thinking about that.” Logan starts cleaning up plates and carries them inside, me trailing him with my own. As we load the dishwasher, he looks over at me with a sly grin on his face. “You know what I think it’s the perfect night for?” He raises an eyebrow at me, making me realize I am going to agree to whatever comes out of his mouth. “Hot tub.”
After a week of training with Josh every morning, a soak in the hot tub sounds amazing. We finish cleaning up the rest of dinner before going upstairs to get changed. The only bikini that Alex packed is my skimpiest red one, and now after being here for a week, I can’t help feeling he did that on purpose. The guys are supposed to be grabbing me my other two, as well as some more of my clothes since it is looking like I will be here a while longer. Maybe they will be home in time to join us. I have a sneaking suspicion that Logan is doing this to either torture me, or torture them when they get here. After the pictures that floated through my mind at dinner, I sure wouldn’t hate being half dressed in a small space with the three of them.
When I step out onto the porch, Logan is bending over the side, messing with the hot tub settings. He has on bright pink trunks that fit his personality so well that I can’t help but laugh. As soon as his eyes slide over to me, he goes still. He makes no effort to hide his slow perusal of my body as a sexy grin crosses his face. “Hot damn, baby girl, you look absolutely incredible. Spin for me?” He makes a little twirling motion with his finger.
I can’t help but oblige, slowly spinning with my arms out. I smile to myself when I hear his low groan at seeing the back. This is the suit I mostly wear at home while working on my tan so the bottoms are barely covering at best. By the time I turn all the way around, he is zeroed in on my ass, his eyes hooded, lust written all over his face. I walk the rest of the way over and slowly step in, trying and failing to hold in the moan at the feel of the hot water on my sore muscles.
“You are going to be the death of me,” Logan mutters under his breath as he readjusts himself while stepping into the tub on the side opposite of me. We settle in and enjoy the peaceful silence for a bit until that sly grin crosses his face again. “You up for a little game?”