Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
Carteay
Normal had never felt as good as it did when Kannon and I walked two blocks in his little neighborhood to a coffee shop. His gigantic hoodie swallowed me whole, but it worked as a perfect disguise.
My hand fit into his big palm as if it belonged there. I followed without question as we cruised down an alley behind a barbershop and a Chinese restaurant. As we passed a park where a dad was teaching his son to shoot free throws, I realized that, so far, not one person had looked my way.
Even as we turned down yet another alley, I had no problem following Kannon’s lead.
He was one of the only people I could fully trust. It was refreshing to not have a care in the world.
I eyed the outdoor seating with envy as we neared our destination.
The chalkboard menu boasted the day’s specials, all fall inspired due to the changing of seasons. I didn’t care for fall spices.
Before we made it to the door, I let Kannon know to get me any tea that wasn’t pumpkin spice inspired, before continuing to pass the counter to find a seat.
I wanted to keep the momentum of a rare undisturbed outing going.
So instead of lingering near the counter and risking being recognized, I got comfortable in one of the seats near the back of the room.
I listened as Kannon ordered blackberry and honey green teas for both of us. I wasn’t in the mood for coffee, but the fall weather made me want something warm. As I sat and waited, the smell of brown sugar and espresso made my senses tingle.
I loved the aromas and the cozy feel of a nice, quaint coffee shop. For that reason, I was tempted to stay inside, but the breeze and weather were perfect for sitting outside. Plus, it was something that I rarely got to do these days.
So far, there had been no camera flashes or swarms of people waiting to take a picture or get an autograph.
For a minute, I just got to be me. Kannon smiled when he turned to me with both our cups and a small paper bag in his hand.
His warm smile sent the small flurry of butterflies resting at the pit of my stomach into a gentle flutter.
I stood as he made his way to me. Opening a side door, I stood aside to let him pass since his hands were full.
“You good with sitting outside?” he questioned as I held the door.
The way he studied my face as he waited for an answer made me feel safe.
Kannon had a way of protecting even when he wasn’t trying.
His presence alone made me feel safer than anything in the world.
I nodded and smiled, and apparently, that was a good enough response since he walked out and started to scan tables.
“Here,” I said, pointing to the table furthest from the door.
I made it to the table first and plopped down in a chair.
I watched as Kannon put the cups on the table and moved the other chair so that his back was against the building.
I remember him telling me he never put his back to the door or to the crowd for long so he could keep watch.
It had to be exhausting to have to be so vigilant all the time.
Thankfully, I’d had the luxury of having people to watch my back over the past few years.
Then again, they weren’t watching my back.
They were watching the company’s investment.
Once Kannon was situated, he picked up one of the cups and took a sip.
I followed suit and was pleased with the bold flavors of the tea.
“I expected something more muted. This is good.”
“Yeah, I’ve tried a few of their teas. They’re pretty good. This one is my favorite.”
I nodded. “I like it.”
“I got you something,” he said, motioning toward the white paper bag.
I didn’t try to hide my smile as I picked up the bag and tore into it. The sugary scent hit me before I pulled out the pecan and caramel cinnamon roll.
“Oh my goodness, this looks so good. You should’ve gotten something to cut it with.”
“You don’t have to cut it, C. Just tear into it.”
“I mean so we can share it,” I clarified.
He shook his head as if what I said didn’t make sense. “It’s for you.”
“I can’t eat this whole thing. It’s humongous.”
He shrugged his shoulders as he took another sip of his hot tea. Knowing he wouldn’t change his stance, I focused on tearing a huge chunk off the cinnamon roll and popping it into my mouth. It was heavenly. I could tell that it was made from scratch, which made it even better.
I ripped off another chunk, making sure to get a good bit of the gooey goodness on top before practically shoving it in Kannon’s mouth.
The left side of his mouth lifted into a smile as he slowly chewed.
I kept my eyes on his gorgeous lips as I fed him another piece just to watch him chew some more.
This time, he caught my fingers between his lips before I could pull away. Taking me at the wrist, he licked my fingers, running his tongue across them shamelessly while keeping me pinned with his eyes.
My breathing shallowed. I was sure my panties were ruined as heat flooded the small space between my thighs.
I tried to steady my breathing as my heart pounded in my throat.
Saliva pooled in my mouth, and I swallowed, hoping to hide my erratic pulse.
Licking his lips, he smiled that devilish smile of his before picking up his cup and taking another sip.
“Pretty good,” he simpered before putting his gaze on the light street traffic.
Needing to do something with my hands again, I picked up my cup in one hand and tore another piece of the cinnamon roll with the other.
I adjusted in my seat as I began to eat in the comfortable silence.
My knee bumped his under the table. Kannon didn’t move or react.
He just stayed there. His hand found my knee.
The weight of it settled the residual nerves scratching at the back of my mind.
I took a breath and opened a little more of me for him.
“I haven’t felt like myself in months, maybe a year or more.
I lost track. I’m always on. Even when I’m not performing, I have to perform.
I started to forget who I was outside of this character they created.
Since I’ve been here with you, I feel like I can let my hair down.
I know I don’t have to perform for you. I can just exist.”
He didn’t rush to respond just to fill the silence. He let my words resonate for a moment like he usually did. His patience and careful attention made me want to tell him everything.
“You said you want to breathe. I’m letting you breathe. You’re not on anybody’s stage or anybody’s clock. You’re free to be exactly who you are. I’m fuckin’ infatuated with the version of you they want to hide.”
I huffed a small laugh to break through the tension and stop myself from saying something I wasn’t ready to say. “Why did that sound so sexy?” I asked.
He kept an even expression as he answered. “It’s a gift.”
“Seriously, though, thank you for letting me be me.”
Kannon had this way of being inappropriate and unbothered that I envied.
At the same time, he was hilarious. I could talk to him for hours about everything and nothing at all.
The conversation trailed off to something less heavy.
Casual conversation about unimportant things felt just as good as the serious stuff.
We started a game where we made up stories about the people passing by or sitting in the coffee shop.
I couldn’t remember when I had had so much fun.
“They’re on their second date. He wants her to think he’s a gentleman, so he brought her for coffee so they could talk. Men aren’t talkers, but we’ll talk to the right one. He likes her, but he wants to fuck after the third date.”
“Is that your guideline? You wait three dates?”
“If I have to wait that long, that’s the limit.”
“Wow, Kannon. Only three dates? I thought you were a gentleman.”
He laughed. “I never told you that. I usually want mine the first night.”
“I really thought you were better than that.”
“I don’t know why. I never tried to fuck you because we had a work relationship, and you had a man. I know how to control myself.”
“But you can’t go on over three dates without sex?”
“At some point, a woman just wants free food. If you don’t like me as much as you like Ruth’s Chris, then something is wrong. I don’t have time to try to figure all that shit out. I have to let people sort shit out on their own.”
“You could ask.”
“If I cared enough, I would. I don’t even date enough to worry about shit like that, but there is a limit.
I’m not about to feed a muthafucka and show them a good time every weekend for six months, hoping that the relationship goes somewhere.
I want it to go to a bed real soon. I need to know what I’m getting myself into. ”
“You’re horrible.”
“Not really. Like I said, I don’t even have time to date. Now and then, I will show a nice young lady a good time. It’s up to her where it ends. Usually, it ends with her face buried in a pillow.”
“Let me change the subject before I start to think you’re a man whore.”
He chuckled. “Hell, my mom thinks so.”
“How is she anyway?” I asked.
Kannon’s mom was hilarious. I’d only heard her on the phone, but I loved how she would go from fussing and cursing at him to telling him how he needed to come to church more so he would be saved. I didn’t know what to think of her, but she kept me laughing.
“She’s good. She calls herself having a boyfriend.”
The bite in his words revealed how unhappy he was with that situation. I considered pushing, but I was enjoying the moment too much. The last thing I wanted to do was sour the mood.
“Maybe I can take you to dinner at her house Sunday,” he tossed in.
“That would be nice.” I nodded.