Saint (Demons of Foxglove Grove #3)

Chapter 1

There’d been a plan, a way the day was meant to play out. He’d spent a lot of time going over and over it again in his head, correcting the script, running all the possible scenarios that could happen so he’d be prepared to confront them and keep everything on track.

By now, he was meant to be at his studio, painting Nix’s lithe body with his lips and his tongue.

Instead, he was here.

“June.”

A paper cup filled with black coffee was held out before his face and after a moment, Yejun accepted it.

He hated black coffee.

He also hated when anyone other than West or Lake called him by a nickname, but he wasn’t in the mood to correct the man who’d accompanied him all the way to the hospital morgue.

Beck Bardin settled down in the empty seat to his right, lightly sipping on his own cup of stale, bitter brew. They were waiting in the hallway for news on the body that had been brought in several hours ago, the Bardin name allowed for a speedier process than what would typically be applied to an obvious case.

The police were convinced it was a suicide, open and closed, but Yejun and the others had to be certain. He hadn’t been there to witness Dew’s fall from the dorm building, but he’d gotten the cliff notes from Lake.

Lake, who was no doubt back at the Rook comforting Nix.

Something Yejun should be doing.

His grip on the cup tightened, the paper warping and spilling the hot contents over his hand. With a curse, he shot to his feet.

“Are you all right?” Beck took the cup and chucked it into a nearby wastebasket. “Wait here.”

Yejun barely heard him as he rushed down the hallway toward the bathrooms, blindly staring at the bright red flesh on his slightly burned hand. He only had himself to blame. For this, and for not being the one Nix was currently relying on.

Damn it.

Was that even what he wanted? Only last week, Yejun had sworn to himself he’d never fall for Nix or his lies again, and yet here he was, concerned for him.

West and Lake believed that Nix hadn’t known about his cousin’s connection to them, and while some stupid part of him wanted to drink the Kool-Aid and believe it right along with them, Yejun had to be more cautious than that. He couldn’t fall for the same trick twice, and buying that Nix didn’t mean them any harm? That all of this was mere coincidence?

Wouldn’t that be the epitome of foolishness?

“Fuck,” he growled the word and then dropped back down onto the edge of the seat, burying his hands in his dark hair to pull at the roots. Why was everything so messed up?

Why couldn’t he just pick an emotion and stick with it?

Pick a damn truth and stick with it?

Yejun couldn’t recall if he’d always been this flighty or if it was a byproduct of Iris’s betrayal. She’d changed him; there was no arguing that fact, but to what extent and how deeply was left to be decided.

He could still picture the first time he saw her when he closed his eyes. See her bright smile, hear her voice greet him and tell him that his work was amazing. Even then, he’d heard it a million times before, and yet something about the sincerity in her gaze had snared him. He’d been caught, hook, line, and sinker, too stupid to realize she was merely the bait and he was the catch of the day. She’d been so convincing though. So perfect.

Too perfect, he could see that clearly now. But hindsight was twenty-twenty, and at the time, he’d lapped at her companionship like the love-starved freak that he was.

It was like someone had given her a blueprint to his inner soul. She’d known just the right thing to say, to do, to get him to confide in her. Trust her. When he’d learned that was all a lie…He’d snapped much the same way he had when he’d discovered Nix’s secret.

Their approach was very different—not only due to the fact Lake was technically the one to do the approaching—but that didn’t mean they weren’t in on it together. Didn’t mean that Iris hadn’t sent her cousin here to torment Yejun further and exact revenge for getting her expelled from the university.

All of the worst-case scenarios he could muster had run through his mind while he’d taken Nix brutally on the coffee table in the living room. He’d fucked him like a madman, uncaring whether or not he made it good for the other guy, hell, actually doing everything in his power to ensure he wasn’t, in fact. With Lake sitting there watching, it’d been a bit more difficult, but Yejun had managed. He’d had Nix a weeping, torn mess beneath him, practically begging for mercy by the time West had shown up.

And thrown yet another wrench into things.

Learning Iris had died had been…confusing. A part of him had actually mourned the loss of the person he’d once considered a friend. Another part had snidely turned his nose up and thought she’d had it coming. The other…

Yejun felt bad for Nix. Plain and simple.

In the end, that sympathy had taken control over the past week, morphing into something stronger—something dangerous and all-consuming. That, coupled with everything he knew about Phoenix Monroe and West’s comments about how he wouldn’t hold him responsible for his father’s actions had wormed their way inside of Yejun. He’d snapped out of his anger. Only, it’d been too late.

Nix could barely look at him now. Flinched when he got too close. Any of the closeness they’d developed over the past couple of months had been obliterated, and now Yejun was left scrambling to collect the pieces. Even after he had them all, was it even possible to put them back together?

Would Yejun forgive someone else if they’d abused his body and fucked him into unconsciousness? If they’d forced him to lose his breath, over and over again, virtually suffocating him on and off for hours on end?

No.

No, he wouldn’t.

But Nix wasn’t him, and more importantly, Yejun couldn’t allow that to be their outcome. Whether either of them liked it or not, they were bound together for eternity thanks to Lake’s claiming mark and West’s affection toward Nix. It was good he’d realized his error, but even if he hadn’t, even if all he still felt for Nix was hatred, there was nothing Yejun could do about it. He couldn’t punish him further, certainly couldn’t kill him…

There was only one path forward.

Forgiveness.

Understanding.

Supplication.

The first for Nix, the second for them both, and the last done by Yejun.

“You’re making it worse.” Beck reappeared and untangled Yejun’s fingers from his hair, pulling away his left hand to cover it with a cool compress made of shitty bathroom paper towels. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes.” Pretty much everywhere.

Beck frowned down at him and pulled the towel away to peek underneath. “It doesn’t look that bad. Hang on. I’ll go get a nurse.”

Yejun grabbed onto Beck’s wrist before he could take more than a single step away and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.”

“But you just said—”

“I wasn’t talking about my hand. It’s all good. Look.” He twisted his hand around so Beck could see it from all angles. “The redness is already subsiding. Thank you.”

“There’s no need to be so polite.” It seemed like he wanted to argue, but Beck ended up sighing and returning to the spot next to him.

“That’s my line,” Yejun teased, trying to change the mood to prevent being asked about anything personal. “You don’t have to be so attentive with me. It’s not like I’m West.”

The tips of Beck’s ears brightened and he turned his face away, but not before Yejun caught sight of the light blush. Usually, Beck was good at keeping his cool, but whenever his crush was mentioned, he always seemed to slip up.

Which was why Yejun always found it so strange that no one else had noticed. West spent more time around Beck than he did, and yet he’d never once brought up Beck’s feelings for him. Could he really be that obtuse?

“When are you going to do something about that, huh?” He shouldn’t be encouraging this, but he felt badly for Beck. At least if the other guy finally tried to make a move, he could be properly shut down and finally move on. And he would be shut down, there was no question there.

West cared for Nix, more than he’d ever cared for any past lover or fling that Yejun was aware of. So much so, he’d made a point of telling Yejun he needed to fix things between them in order to make Nix feel comfortable around them again. His best friend was trying to patch things up, but not for his benefit. It was all for their Firebird.

Theirs, because despite what had taken place between them, Yejun still had a claim to Nix.

He just needed to figure out a way to get Nix to acknowledge him once more.

“Groveling, perhaps,” he muttered, but not quiet enough because Beck overheard, and misunderstood.

“I don’t think begging for his love and attention is the right way to go,” Beck said. “West isn’t the type to succumb to those sorts of manipulations.”

“You’re right, you may as well try the straightforward approach. So, why haven’t you?”

“It isn’t that easy, Yejun.”

“Sure it is. He’s dense. He’ll never figure it out on his own.” Proof of that was the fact Yejun had known about Beck’s crush for years now, ever since West’s dad had beat him in a parking lot and hospitalized him. At this very hospital, in fact. If after all this time, West still didn’t know how Beck felt, he never would. “Tell him yourself, that way—”

“He can let me down gently?” Beck smiled sadly and glanced away, embarrassed all over again when Yejun’s brow winged up in mild surprise. “You insult me. I’m not na?ve. I’ve seen what’s been going on with you three since the semester started, and I didn’t need Lake’s teeth marks in Nix’s neck to confirm my suspicions either.” He wrung his hands. “It’s too late for me. West has already found someone else.”

“Sorry,” Yejun said weakly. He lifted a hand and lightly patted him on the back, unsure how to proceed. He wasn’t the best at comforting anyone outside of his inner circle. He could fake it, but something told him Beck would be able to see right through his bullshit. They’d known each other too long, even if they weren’t all that close.

“It’s my own fault,” Beck said. “You’re right. I should have confessed sooner while I still had the chance. At least Nix seems nice. He seems good for West, for all of you, really.”

“He is.” This was getting a bit too personal for his liking. He wasn’t comfortable discussing Nix with anyone other than West and Lake. Hell, at this point in their personal relationship, Yejun didn’t even have the right to. Nix probably hated him at the moment.

What could he do to win him back? There had to be something. Judging by how Nix and Lake had been acting earlier, clearly they’d made up already. That meant there was hope for him yet, didn’t it? Of course, he’d taken things a lot further than Lake had…had a lot more to make up for but…Nix would understand where he’d been coming from, wouldn’t he?

“Are you all right?” Beck frowned at him. “You’ve gone pale.”

“Just thinking about why we’re here,” he lied and motioned toward the closed doors directly across from them. “How much longer do you think they’re going to take?”

“Worried about your fourth?”

“Yes.” Yejun leaned back in his seat.

“At least you’ve caught the culprit in time.”

“Have we?”

“You’ve got doubts?” Beck asked. “I don’t know the full story since I’m not technically a part of this investigation, but from what I witnessed at the dorms, West seemed pretty certain that Dew is the guy you’ve been after. Lake appeared convinced as well.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Yejun reminded, “for confirmation. If there were any foreign substances in Dew’s system during the time of his fall, that could indicate that he was pushed.”

“No one else was up on that rooftop. We went over the security footage less than twenty minutes ago.”

That was true. West had sent it over after viewing it himself with the others. The footage was of the stairwell in the dorms leading up to the roof, and clearly showed Dew making his way up there shortly after West and the others had arrived to interrogate him. No one else was seen following or leaving, and they’d since inspected the roof to ensure no one was secretly hiding up there still.

“It just seems too easy,” Yejun admitted. Although, none of it had actually been, if he were being honest. He snorted. “Maybe I just don’t want to admit it’s been solved.”

“Why not?”

“Who knows.”

Beck considered things and then suggested, “Perhaps you’re just not satisfied with how things were discovered? I bet you feel guilty over the fact your work was used as a means to wound him, don’t you?”

It wasn’t guilt, because Yejun didn’t have any part in what had happened with his painting. It wasn’t like he’d switched it, and if he’d known about it, he would have stopped it before anyone—let alone Nix—had gotten the chance to so much as glimpse it hanging on the gallery wall.

But he definitely felt…something.

There was a dash of anger at himself for getting upset in the first place. For feeling wronged for being accused when it was his own damn fault that the others were so quick to believe it. Of course, they’d think him capable of such a thing; it wasn’t like he was known for being kind when he considered someone his enemy, and he’d made it clear in no uncertain terms for the better part of a week that he’d shoved Nix into that category.

“You reap what you sow,” he whispered, shutting his eyes against the harsh overhead hospital lighting. “Nix and I have been…at odds.”

“How so?”

“I wronged him.” There was no way he was about to go into details about it. Hadn’t he just been thinking how he didn’t want to discuss this topic anyway? He was letting his emotions get the best of him again. Seeking…He didn’t know what he was trying to find. Absolution? From Beck? If so, he was talking to the wrong person and he knew it.

“Have you tried apologizing?” Beck asked, tipping his head when that earned him another snort. “I mean it. A sincere apology can go a long way.”

“Is that all it takes for you to forgive? All someone has to do is say they’re sorry?”

“No,” Beck waited for Yejun to meet has gaze once more and then added, “they also have to mean it.”

Would that really be enough? It sounded ridiculously lacking to Yejun.

“Let’s focus on what you can do here and now,” Beck suggested. “We’re here to prove it was Dew who broke into the clubhouse, correct? How else can I help?”

“You’re already doing more than enough. Why are you even here anyway? The Order tasked us with doing this, not you.”

“I can’t exactly walk away, not when I witnessed so much today already. Besides, you know I’ve always been on your side. I want the three of you to succeed.” Beck leaned in conspiratorially and lowered his voice. “I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but I sort of hate my father.”

“Ah,” Yejun opted to play along, if for nothing more than to lighten the mood, “so you’re not really out to help us, you’re out to screw over your dad.”

Beck laughed. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“But you aren’t denying it.”

“Do I really need to?” He sobered some. “In our world, very few things are believable. The fact that a person would side with even their sworn enemy in the name of revenge? That’s the most comprehendible thing any of us have ever heard.”

True. Lake had spent the better part of a decade doubting his cousin, testing Beck any chance he got in the hopes of slipping him up and revealing his true colors. West had stood up for him, but even Yejun had been convinced that Beck was lying in wait and the nice guy was all an act. As the years had passed and they’d grown, however, his suspicions had been proven wrong.

Beck had stepped in to shield Lake against one of his father’s schemes more times than Yejun could count on both hands. On the surface, he kept the peace with his father, but they all knew better.

“Here,” Beck held out his multi-slate, “check the messages Dew sent me. Maybe they could be useful.”

“I’m not sure how hitting on a professor will help prove Dew tried to infiltrate Club Essential.” It wouldn’t even help prove that he was the one who put Iris up to betray them, which was the real problem.

The whole hacker breaking into the club thing? They’d made that up to protect themselves.

“Still, it could—” Beck stopped talking when they heard the sound of the metal doors finally opening.

One of the doctors who was on the Bardin payroll stepped out and bowed in greeting. “We’ll have to wait a little longer for all of the tests, but we’ve gotten a few of the results back, as well as an official cause of death.”

That seemed pretty obvious to Yejun—the guy had smashed his skull against the pavement, after all—but he stood and waved the doctor closer. “Tell me everything.”

The sooner he finished here, the sooner he could get back to the Roost, and ideally begin making things right with Nix and the others.