Chapter 80
Rachel
The party was in full swing. Members from up and down the country that had arrived for Mama’s funeral, stayed to celebrate Vienna coming home.
His job as the peacemaker had earned him a lot of friends in a lot of different charters, and his current job of vice president had earned him automatic respect.
The club was busier than I had ever seen it, and Dante had already given me a heads up that this was likely to turn into a rally.
Engines were already revving as bikers itched to go riding.
Imogen and I had spent the entire evening cooking the BBQ until eventually Doc and Tools slapped our hands and pushed us out of the way.
It was wild to think that just a few hours ago I had murdered a woman, and now I was at the club eating, drinking, and pretending nothing had ever happened.
Dante had sent some of the prospects to clean up the mess, and then promised me we were never going to talk about it again. That was good enough for me.
So I focused on the party, and promised myself I’d have a good time.
Club whores (or sweetbutts, as some of the other charters called them) were in full swing, dancing with the guys, pulling their tops off, and filling the room with their non stop giggling.
The atmosphere was fun and light-hearted. It should have been everything I wanted and more. Everyone was having a good time. For once, there were no threats, there was no drama…
And yet I couldn’t enjoy a single second of it.
I tried to tell myself it was because of everything that had happened today. But I knew it wasn’t. Vicky hadn’t been my first kill, and she certainly hadn’t been the bloodiest. This feeling of dread had to do with something else entirely.
The longer Hacksaw took to bring Vienna home, the more my nerves were on edge.
Everyone else had a huge smile on their faces, and were enjoying a true biker gathering.
But I was filled with dread. Dante was throwing concerned glances my way, and I did my best to give him reassuring smiles in response, but I was failing miserably and we both knew it.
Vienna was coming home.
When he was stuck in hospital, he wouldn’t have spoken up about what we did. But here? Now? There was every possibility that he would spill the beans. If not tonight, then surely soon.
Vienna was a good man. A loyal man. There was no way he was going to remain silent for the rest of his life.
His conscience wouldn’t let him.
So I was left with the choice of either confessing to Dante first, or waiting to be outed by Vienna.
Or Hacksaw. It would be foolish to forget Hacksaw.
I took a second to go and say goodnight to the kids, asking Heather to whisk them away before the party got completely out of control, and then I remained in the kitchen, throwing back a shot of vodka to steady my nerves.
“The first party as reigning supreme getting to you?” came an amused voice from behind me. I turned to see Jenna leaning against the doorframe, her eyes gentle as she watched me.
“Something like that. How are you holding up?”
“Some days are better than others. Thank you for letting me stay here. Trex goes down without a fight when he’s with Axel.”
“You don’t need to thank me. That’s what family does.”
Jenna had decided not to move away with her mother. She had her bags packed ready to go, but when it came to it, she wasn’t able to go through with the move.
Leaving here was like saying a final goodbye to Shark, and she wasn’t ready to do that yet. Both Dante and I had told her she was welcome to stay in the clubhouse with us for as long as she needed.
“What’s with you tonight? You don’t seem yourself.”
“I — Shit, Jenna. I can’t…”
“Rachel?” she breathed, her eyes widening. “You’re as white as a fucking ghost. What’s wrong? Here, have another one of these,” she said, rushing to pour me another shot.
I took it gratefully, throwing it back the second the glass touched my hands, barely even noticing the burn as it spilled down my throat.
“Come on. Out with it. What’s the matter?”
“I fucked up, Jenna. I really fucked up.”
“Nothing is ever as bad as we think it is. You know the old saying, ‘we suffer the most in our imagination’. Talk to me. I guarantee it’s not as bad as you think it is.”
“I—”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her. It really was. But just as I went to open my mouth, the back door was ripped open, and in stormed Hacksaw, followed by a pitiful-looking Vienna.
“Leave us,” Hacksaw barked, nodding his head in Jenna’s direction.
“Ex-fucking-scuse me,” I snapped back. “She is a guest in my home. Do not speak to her like that.”
Hacksaw laughed bitterly. “I can see why you’re treating me like the enemy, but it’s not me you need to be concerned about.”
“What are you talking about?” I frowned.
“This one,” he said, shoving Vienna in the back. “Has had a fucking epiphany. He’s telling Dante. Tonight.”
I fucking knew it.
My intuition was never wrong, and I had sensed something was going to happen tonight. My eyes jumped to Vienna’s, and he shook his head sadly.
“There’s no point trying to convince me otherwise, Rachel. I can’t remain as vice president and lie to him every day. It wouldn’t be right.”
“What’s going on here?” Jenna asked, her gaze jumping between the three of us.
“Nothing,” Vienna muttered, before heading out of the kitchen towards the bar.
“He’s not…” I said, my heart pounding in my chest. “He’s not going to do it now, is he?”
“I think you know the answer to that question,” Hacksaw said.
“Look, Rachel… You’re a nice lass, and I like you…
I’m sorry it had to come to this. I know I’ve said some shit to you these past few weeks, but please believe me when I say I’ve spent the entire journey back to the clubhouse trying to convince Vienna not to do this. He’s determined.”
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Do you want my advice?”
“Not really, but hit me anyway.”
“Follow him. Dante is going to come looking for you regardless. Don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be.
He loves you. He might not always show it, but he does.
He’s not going to cause you any serious harm.
Don’t hide away and show guilt. Stand up to him.
Be the woman we all know you are. You fucked up, but so has Dante.
He’s not judge, jury and executioner here.
Get your ass out to the bar and face the music. ”
We locked eyes for a moment before I nodded and raced after Vienna. My stomach was doing somersaults, and any second now I was going to hurl. I just knew it.
But Hacksaw was right. The only way to get through this was to just do it. Rip off the band aid and face the wound underneath before we could all begin to heal.
As I entered the bar, my resolve almost wavered. The music had been shut off and everyone was looking at Vienna in confusion.
“Nice to see you, brother,” Dante grinned. “Ladies, raise your hands. Who is surprised to learn Vienna likes to use the back door?”
The room was divided. Behind Dante, there were roars of laughter. Behind Vienna, there was a silence filled with dread.
“What’s going on? Did the hospital say something to you before you left?” Dante asked, finally twigging that something was wrong. He put his pint down on the nearest table and walked towards us.
I took a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth.
And then I repeated it a bunch more times.
Jenna walked over to me and linked her fingers with mine, giving me a reassuring squeeze. I looked at her, seeing her face was just as pale as she had said mine was earlier. No doubt Hacksaw had told her what was about to happen, and just like me, she was now shitting herself.
My heart was hammering in my chest, my palms were sweaty and all I could think about was how he was going to deliver the news.
“No. But I need to talk to you.”
“There will be time to talk in the morning. It’s a party, Vienna. Your party. Since when have you ever turned a celebration down?”
“Dante, I kissed Rachel.”
Well. That’s how he was doing it.
The entire room grew so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Dante froze, his body stiffening. Jenna took a sharp intake of breath, and her hand squeezed mine once more—though I barely felt it. I was numb. The silence was deafening, so much so I could hear the blood roaring through my body.
“Say that again,” Dante said quietly.
There was no emotion in his tone. No anger, no hurt. Nothing. And that scared me more than any screaming or shouting could have done.
“The night you and Rachel… When I took her to the bar. I kissed her.”
“Did you kiss him back?” Dante asked, without looking in my direction. His fist clenched at his side, and that was the only sign he gave that he was at war with himself.
I recognised that Vienna was giving me an out. He was willing to take the blame. He was willing to say that he kissed me, and let me walk away the innocent party.
It would be so easy for me to go along with what he said, and come out of this relatively scar free.
But I was not that woman. I would not let him take the fall for this. We were both to blame.
I liked to say I was this strong, fierce woman, and yet one too many times in my life I had allowed people to take the blame for my actions. This would not be one of those instances.
“Yes,” I said, my voice loud and clear.
Dante’s lips thinned as he nodded his head.
“That’s all it was, Dante. Just a drunken kiss. I swear I—”
Dante shot forward as Vienna spoke, moving at a speed that defied his size, and the sound of his fist connecting with Vienna’s jaw was like a thunderclap in the silent room.
He hit him again, and again, each time making me cringe as the sound of his solid fist against Vienna’s skin rattled in my ears.
The crowd dispersed, everyone stepping backwards out of harm's way. No one would get involved. Not with the president.
Which meant there was only me.
I let go of Jenna’s hand, ripping it out of her grip, and shot forward.
“Dante, stop!” I yelled, only to find my feet lifted from the floor as two hands circled my waist and swung me to the side.
“Not the fucking time, woman!” Hacksaw hissed into my ear. “Are you wanting to get yourself killed?”
“He’s going to kill Vienna if we do nothing!” I snapped back, straining to get out of his grip.
I heard another crack of Dante’s fist, followed by the sound of Vienna spitting. I dared a look and saw a pool of blood on the floor.
“I’m not going to fight you, brother. If you need to hit me, then fucking hit me. Get it all out of your system. But when you’re done, I’m still going to be here. I’m still going to be your brother!”
Dante hit him again.
“I fucked up. I never should have done it. And I should have told you the second it was over. But—”
Another crack.
“Dante, stop!” I yelled again, straining against Hacksaw even harder.
“This isn’t worth it! It meant nothing! You’re ruining everything for the sake of a drunken kiss!
It was fucked up, and it was wrong, but it was a mistake.
Do you want to lose your brother over this?
You’re throwing everything away for something that lasted less than a minute.
Did I react like this when you slept with Beth? ”
It was wrong of me to throw his past in his face like that. It was like comparing apples and bananas. The situation was completely different. I wasn’t his old lady then, and there weren’t years of history written in our book. But it was the only thing I could think of to get through to him.
Apparently it was the wrong thing to say, because it just made Dante hit Vienna harder.
Vienna dodged the blows, shoving at Dante just enough to get himself out of harm's way, but never retaliating.
“Ask yourself why she did it, Dante! I was a fucking idiot, but ask yourself why she did it! The woman is confused, angry, hurt… she doesn’t know whether she’s fucking coming or going, because the two of you can’t stop playing games long enough to have a fucking conversation and work through your issues!
So, punch me if you need to,” Vienna yelled, shoving Dante backwards.
“Do whatever you need to work through this anger. But when you’re done, the issues are still going to be there.
Whatever you’re feeling is still going to be there! ”
“Would you forgive me if it was Gabriella?” Dante said, his jaw tight.
I saw the flash of rage in Vienna’s eyes before he replied.
“Do you know what, brother? This would never even be close to a possibility with Gabriella, because I would never have treated her the way you treat Rachel. There was never any doubt in Gabriella’s mind that I loved her, because I spent every single second, of every fucking day proving that to her.
I worshipped the fucking ground she walked on.
I wouldn’t have allowed her to believe for even a moment that she wasn’t made for me.
Perfect for me. I loved every fucking inch of her, openly and freely.
You love Rachel when it’s convenient for you to do so, and that’s what you’re really fucking mad about.
Because the truth is, if you were an actual fucking man and treated your woman the way we’re supposed to, this never would have fucking happened!
” He all but yelled the last bit at him before the dam burst and his temper hit its peak.
He hit Dante back, and time seemed to move in slow motion.
I watched as Dante grabbed him, his fist in the air, a nasty snarl on his face.
“Daddy?” A soft voice came from the archway to the house. “What are you doing to my uncle Vienna?”
“Bee,” I breathed, spinning around to face her, just as Dante let go of Vienna and stormed out of the bar.
“Everything is okay, sweetheart. You know what these parties are like. Get yourself back off to bed,” I said softly, nodding at Heather, who had rushed up behind her. “I promise, we’re all okay.”
“Uncle Vienna is bleeding,” she said, pointing a finger in Vienna’s direction.
“Come on,” Vienna smiled, jogging over to her and scooping her into his arms. “Off to bed with you. Uncle Vienna is always bleeding, you know that. I’m still as handsome as ever, aren’t I?
” He pulled an ugly face at her, making her grin through the tears shining in her eyes.
“Let’s read a bedtime story like we used to, eh?
There’s nothing to be worried about down here. ”
Their voices drifted off as he carried her upstairs and I looked in the direction Dante had stormed off, knowing I had no choice but to follow him.