Chapter 82
Rachel
My heart was pounding in my chest as Dante bared his soul to me.
He was telling me everything I had ever wanted to hear.
And whilst his confession didn’t make everything better, and it didn’t erase the mistakes of the past, it did help me understand him better.
It helped me realise how much he had secretly been struggling, when I had always assumed he was in such control.
“I was willing to let you go,” he continued.
“And I promised myself I would stick to it. So many times I wanted to find you and drag you back. But I resisted. I found Vicky, and she worked as a distraction for the most part. I knew I was deluding myself, because every time I was with her, I would think of you. It wasn’t fair to her, but I needed the substitute.
I had to prove to myself that you were not an anomaly, and that I was capable of feeling the same things I felt towards you with someone else.
And then curiosity got the better of me.
I thought enough time had passed that I would be able to look you up and not feel the insane need to drag you back here kicking and screaming.
I was a fool,” he admitted with a twist of his lips.
I already knew how he found me. He had explained that weeks ago. But it was nice not just knowing the how but also the why.
“I’m not stupid, Rachel. I know had I stayed away, you would have eventually moved on.
You would have found someone to have an enjoyable life with.
And I know I had no right to force you back here.
But once I make my mind up about something, I don’t think, I act.
I know ours isn’t a love story for the ages.
No one is writing romances about us and thinking we’re end game.
Children won’t be studying our story, and teenagers won’t be running to the internet wishing they had something like our relationship and calling us ‘ride or die’ partners. ”
“Where did you hear that?” I said, bursting out laughing.
“Bee,” he grinned back. “I know we’re verging dangerously close to being in a cycle of burning love and furious hate.
I know ours will never be a traditional relationship.
And I don’t care. Traditions are meant to be broken and no one can tell us what’s right and what’s acceptable in a situation that involves us two. ”
I nodded, because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t dare open my mouth, because I didn’t want to break the spell. I wanted him to keep talking to me. I didn’t want to go back to the anger and the hurt that we had entered this room with.
“There’s no right or wrong in a relationship, Rachel.
There are no set rules. There are only the rules we put in place.
The ones that work for us. So long as there’s two consenting parties that want to be together for the long haul, then nothing else matters.
I’m not interested in riding into the sunset with you.
I don’t want an easy adventure into a happily ever after.
I want a happily for now, because I know if I go riding into the sunset with you, it will be because you’re planning on pushing me off a cliff. ”
I laughed again, and he shuffled closer to me, cupping my face once more as he rubbed his nose against mine.
“I want to guarantee a happily for now, because I want our future to be chaotic. I want the sass and the push backs. I want you to continue arguing with me and challenging me. I want Bee and Axel to drop their children off at our home, and for them to roll their eyes because Nanan and Papa are fighting again. I want to be the crazy old couple that people whisper about, wondering how the fuck we made it this far. I don’t want a love story.
I want our story. The true story. The story that will be wrapped up in a toxic little bow with pages dripping with sarcasm.
I don’t want your adoration, I want your fire.
Your fury. I want your passion. I want you, Rachel.
I want this and I want us. And if that’s what you want too, then I’m begging you to put me out of my fucking misery and kiss me. I’m going out of my mind here.”