Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Jen awoke with a start. She lay there, her heart beating fast, too scared to move for a few moments, her ears straining to hear whatever noise it was that had woken her.
But there was only the soft sound of the morepork owl coming from outside, tucked somewhere in a crook of the gnarled pohutukawa tree, and the clatter of branches against her window.
Rain hammered against the glass. The low-pressure system, which had been threatening all week, had obviously arrived, bringing with it a storm. She turned over on her side so she could see through the partly open door to Liam’s room.
The nightlight wasn’t on. She frowned and flicked on her bedside light. Nothing. The storm must have taken the power out. She half rose out of bed but remembered the switchboard was in the laundry outhouse and thought better of it. She shivered in the chill air and hopped back into bed.
As she snuggled back under the duvet, her thoughts strayed to Sam. With the advantage of hindsight, she could see what had happened fifteen years earlier more clearly now, as if she were remembering other people.
He’d taken it for granted that they’d always be together.
His love for her had been as solid as his character.
It had been a fundamental part of him, which he’d never questioned, just as he’d never questioned her love for him.
And she, young and inexperienced girl that she’d been, hadn’t understood that.
But he’d changed now. They both had. Sam wasn’t ever going to take love for granted, and she knew she could trust someone whose actions spoke so much louder than his words.
She rolled over, looking at the rain that was slapping against the window with increasing force and thought of how good Sam was with Liam, especially compared to Alistair. Or compared to anyone, come to that.
She smiled as she thought of the bond Liam also had with her mother and Lucy. He’d been a little shyer at first with her other siblings, but it was clear that Liam enjoyed being part of a large family.
Family.
It was a good word.
Then she heard the sound again, the one that had awoken her, except this time she could tell that it came from downstairs. She wondered what her mother was doing at this hour. Or perhaps she’d only just arrived home? Looked like she’d have to brave the chill night if she wanted to find out.
She swung her feet out of the bed, only pausing long enough to pull on her dressing gown, and stepped quietly onto the landing.
She glanced at Liam’s room, noting the door was partly closed, so she couldn’t see inside the room. She’d left it open. She took a few steps over to his room to check on him and was about to push open the door when the noise sounded from downstairs more loudly.
What was her mother looking for? She headed down the stairs. With no electricity — and the streetlights hidden by the high hedges and trees which lined the property on the roadside — no light entered the house. But she could see the shape of Sam’s car parked outside and felt reassured.
She walked on down the hall and then stopped.
Something wasn’t right. She could feel it.
She opened her mouth to call her mother, but no sound came.
Instead, she continued on to the back of the house, which faced the sea, where the kitchen and family room were.
She went quietly, nervous about what she might find.
The door was closed. Again, this was odd. What was her mother doing? Something she didn’t want her to know about?
She listened for a second but could no longer hear anything, so she brushed her sweaty palm down the dressing gown and twisted the handle quietly.
The door seemed to squeak even more loudly than usual as it swung on its stiff hinges.
She didn’t move for a moment, just scanned the room. There was no sign of her mother.
Panic then fuelled her movements, and she stumbled into the room, looking around wildly.
‘Looking for someone?’
Alistair. His chilly English tones, which used to thrill her, now did the opposite. Ice flooded her veins. She turned around to find him closing the door behind him.
She opened her mouth to speak his name, but no words emerged. She felt frozen — inside and out.
He cocked his handsome head to one side and narrowed his eyes as he surveyed her.
‘How did you get in?’ she asked.
‘Glass is easy to break. All the locks in the world won’t keep me away from you.’ His voice was soft, almost loving. ‘I’ve been waiting for you in the garden next door.’
His words made her want to vomit. Sam didn’t know. Neither of them had thought to check the neighbour’s property. Sam was still in his car, completely unaware of what was happening.
‘You’ve changed since you’ve been here.’ He frowned. ‘I remember the moment I fell in love with you. Outside the café. You looked waif-like and lost, and I thought, I’ll take care of her. Remember, Jennifer? I sent you the photo to remind you of how you were when we first met.’
‘What?’ Then she remembered.
‘But you look different now. Being away from me doesn’t suit you.’
He shone a torch over her. She blinked in its bright light and shrank from him instinctively. She only just stopped herself from putting up her hands to protect herself.
‘Go away,’ she rasped, her voice dry, barely louder than a whisper.
‘Why,’ he said, ‘when it took me a while to find you? Luckily for me, your mother was so helpful in giving me your address.’
‘She what?’
He smiled. ‘I don’t know why you wiped it off your computer and destroyed your old letters. In the end it was easy enough, though. A bit of detective work revealed your home phone number. I rang and said I was from the school.’
‘Mum will be down when she hears us talking. You won’t get away with this.’
‘She’s not here. I checked.’
She swallowed hard and clenched her fists. She had to think. She had to use her brain; it was her only defence. ‘Why did you come here, Alistair?’ she asked in a softer voice. ‘Surely you have everything you want?’
He was silent for a few moments, his gaze shifting over her face. ‘You’re wrong,’ he said in an equally quiet tone. ‘It was only ever you I wanted, and you I couldn’t have.’
She’d got through to him. Now, all she had to do was keep him talking. It hadn’t always worked, but sometimes it had. Sometimes it had been enough to stop him in his tracks.
‘You wanted too much of me. You wanted to consume me.’
‘You’re wrong. I love you, Jennifer. I’ve always loved you, and I don’t understand why you can’t see that. I don’t get why you’d want to run from that.’
‘Because you hurt me. Because you controlled my every move. Because you made me and Liam live in a state of fear.’
He shook his head vigorously. ‘No. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Alistair, it was exactly like that.’
‘No!’ He stepped away and rubbed his hand agitatedly against his head. There was blood on his hand, but he didn’t appear to notice.
‘Alistair,’ she said again, needing him to focus on her voice, on reason. But when he looked at her again, that wild, lost look had returned to his eyes.
‘You have to come with me. Back to England. Now. I’ve got everything ready for us.’
She’d lost him. ‘We’re not leaving.’
His lips twisted into a parody of a smile, and he lunged forward and tried to grab her arm. She leapt away in time.
‘Stay away from me and Liam!’
He shook his head, his smile like a rictus grin, malevolent and horrifying.
‘Don’t tell me what to do.’ He came closer to her and bent his head to hers.
She could smell the whisky on his breath, could feel the cold drops of rain trickle onto her from his dripping hair.
‘You know it never works out well for you.’
She shook her head. She refused to be the woman she’d once been.
She’d changed in these few short weeks. She knew she had.
Even while the thoughts entered her head, she realised how alone she and Liam were.
She couldn’t do anything that might antagonise Alistair.
He’d gone past the point of reason. She had to play along with him, even if it killed her to do so.
‘It’s just…’ She forced a smile on her face. She suspected it was more like a grimace. ‘Just that you’re unexpected.’
‘Unexpected?’ he said, backing away, distracted by her refusal to rise to the bait. ‘Expected?’ He shrugged. ‘What does it matter? You’re coming with me now. ‘Get your coat and we’ll leave.’
She shook her head.
‘You surely can’t have forgotten where your home is now, can you, Jennifer?’
‘It’s here, in this house, in New Zealand, with my family.’
‘Family!’ He spat the word out. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. You left them behind when you married me. You don’t want anything to do with them. And neither does Liam. I’m your family now.’
Jen hated to hear Liam’s name on Alistair’s lips.
‘Liam’s not here,’ she said. She had to make sure Alistair didn’t go upstairs and get him. She hoped he’d remain asleep and wouldn’t come downstairs. She’d have no hope of defending both of them. ‘He’s staying at a friend’s house.’
He snorted and shook his head. ‘It’s you I want, and it’s you I’m going to take. I’ll only take him to make sure you come with me.’
‘Well, he’s not here to help you in your plan, and I’m not coming with you.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ His voice rose in a rapid crescendo. ‘Will you stop mucking about! You’re coming! Like it or not! And you will have to come because otherwise you’ll never see Liam again.’
She froze, her eyes wide open. ‘What —’
He wound her hair around his fist and tugged her towards him. ‘Don’t you get it? I’m going to take Liam whether you like it, or not. You’ll have no choice but to come if you want to see him again.’
‘No!’
‘Too late, because —’
Before he could finish the sentence, a couple of loud raps sounded on the front door.
Alistair moved suddenly, jerking Jen.
‘Who’s that?’ asked Alistair, glaring accusingly at Jen as if she’d conjured someone up out of thin air.