13. Eshe
Eshe
A shadow cast against my closed eyelids.
It was the middle of the night, I could tell because it was too early to wake. My body wanted to snuggle deeper into my soft covers and ignore the shadow.
Suddenly, my covers were ripped from me, and I gasped. Instinctively, I reached for my dagger—that I did not have—on the bedstand, but a strong, calloused hand wrapped around my wrist, pinning it to the bed.
My heart pounded violently, and my legs shook as I reached for leverage.
I looked up at the intruder who leaned forward, invading my space. I was about to headbutt the shadow, but his other hand weighed my chest down, his hips settling onto mine, pinning them.
Wait, I knew these hands.
They were on me in a dark hallway when I poisoned him.
“What are you doing here?” I wanted to scream, but I kept my voice low.
He stayed silent. It was just yesterday that he almost caught me eavesdropping on a private conversation. He seemed angry, his hand nearly trembling on my wrist. I could feel his heat radiating into my body.
He was in my room, on my bed.
I hadn’t expected this type of reaction from him.
“This is my privacy. You should not be in here, Ezra,” I hissed. “Get out.”
“You invaded my privacy.” His voice was too soft, a brush of whisper. He leaned even more, his head close to mine. I could feel his breath on my face and neck. “I don’t see a reason why I wouldn’t give you the same treatment.”
I calmed my breathing.
I tried to wriggle out of his iron hold. “What do you want?”
“You won’t deny it?” he said.
“Deny what?” It was clear how close he was to me. It was ironic how I suddenly had his entire attention.
“That you’ve invaded my privacy, sneaking in and around business that isn’t yours and stealing people’s secrets like the gutter-crawling liar you are,” he rasped. “That’s right. I found out where you’ve been, who you’ve been talking to.”
He referred to the harem.
Heat boiled in my veins and radiated through my body. I twisted against him and thrust him from me. “Get off me!” I said through gritted teeth.
He swiftly grabbed my body, which was wrapped in sheets. My legs got caught in them, and suddenly I couldn’t move. He was half on top of me, his body pushing all the air from my body.
My breath quickened—he was going to strangle me. I couldn’t move.
“What did you expect? You keep me locked in this chamber, unless I want your guards following my every move.” I panted. “It’s not my fault I found your private harem full of beautiful women that you don’t even touch, you impotent bastard.”
Ezra stilled, but his hold did not loosen.
I held my breath, afraid to burst his anger even more. I ran through a million different scenarios on how I could get out of this. I could finally see his eyes. They were dark yet glowing in heat at the same time.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Mara.”
I scoffed. “You think that’s my secret? It’s not. I could tell the whole world right here, right now, that you’re keeping the long-lost Princess Eshe of Zyriah against her will. I’m sure my brother would like to know.”
I took that moment to rip my wrist out of his hold and scrambled to the opposite edge of the bed. Ezra was just as fast. He grabbed my bare legs and twisted them toward him. I thrusted against him, but his beast-like weight caused me to still once again.
“I don’t care about what the world thinks or what your brother would wonder.” His face hardened. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Let me go.” My nose flared, but I didn’t break eye contact with him. “Or are you afraid that I’ll find out that you murdered my family?”
“I didn’t murder your family, sweetheart.
” He placed a finger below my jaw and brushed his thumb across my lip.
It left sparks in its trail, and the air suddenly turned thick and warm.
My eyes defied me and met his dark, golden gaze, but I pulled my face away.
He grabbed hold of my jaw and forced me to look at him again. “I’m not letting you leave.”
Fluttering sensations sprang in my stomach at his words. My chest heaved, barely able to swallow his words, but suddenly my hands were wrapped in the front of his tunic.
“I’m not your possession or your slave. You can’t keep me like this. I’m not yours, and I will never be. Get that through your thick skull, you incompetent little bitch.”
Ezra chuckled. He looked down at me as if I were the smallest person. “Is that all you've got? I was beginning to believe you were a fighter, but this—this is weakness. It’s pathetic.”
An explosion erupted from my body. I slammed against him, but his hold only became tighter.
“I hate you.” I wanted to sob, but I refused to show the weakness he had just accused me of.
He leaned his head forward. He brought his lips to my ear. They were warm and soft, and a warm trickling sensation plummeted down my spine.
“You came to my palace to kill me, and you got caught. You’re now mine to do as I please.” He nipped my ear.
I froze.
My heart against my throat, I could hardly breathe. A part of my body wanted to lean into him, but I stopped myself from doing it.
“Well, I hope you take care of your women because it would seem that you leave them extremely unsatisfied. Safina sends her love.”
“Don’t push me, little warrior.” I could feel his smile against my throat.
But I want to, were the words I didn’t dare let leave my lips.
He brought his face in front of me. “I’m still a man.”
My heart skipped a beat. Ezra's thighs were surrounding my hips, but it might have been the walls closing in. Heat rushed past my neck, into my face, and down to my core.
“Are you? It doesn’t seem like it?” I exhaled. How could his eyes be so soft, but pierce through me? My gaze dropped to his lips. They were full and swollen, begging—
What was happening?
Something blinked from his eyes at the same time mine did. He was my enemy, and I wanted him dead.
Suddenly, Ezra ripped a part of my slip. “What are you doing?” I snapped.
I struggled against his pressing weight and pushed my fists on his chest, then elbowed him in the face.
His jaw tightened, and his nose flared, and he grabbed hold of my wrists, placing them above my head.
“Ezra, let me go.” I was breathless. With as much force as I could muster, I kneed his groin, and his face fell over my shoulder.
“You’re going to learn today, Eshe. I swear this,” he grunted against my ear, sending warm shivers down my body.
Before I knew what he was doing, Ezra lifted my wrists to my bedpost and tied them securely. My breath shallowed. I pulled them toward me.
And again.
I couldn’t free them.
I used Garamgai’s technique to unravel myself, but the cloth only tightened.
Ezra pulled his body off me and straightened his tunic. His eyes turned dark and hard as they narrowed on mine.
Panic settled in.
My lungs tried to remind me to breathe. Remind me that I was not in the baths in Zyriah.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe.
“Ezra, please. Don’t leave me like this.”
He shot me a devious smile and waltzed out of the room.
I used my meditation to slow my breath. I was going to be okay.
This was nothing.
I just needed to calm down in order to figure this out. And I was going to.
Time slowed as I used my teeth to pick at the tiny threads of my ripped slip.
Nothing was working. How was nothing working? I was trained for this. But clearly, Ezra had been trained better than I had. My body couldn’t stop trembling from how much hate ran through it.
My eyelids grew heavy.
Tomorrow, the servants would hopefully help me.
The sun peeked through the curtains and woke me. I looked up, my wrists still tied to the bed. My arms and shoulders ached. I glanced down at my ripped dress. My breasts were nearly exposed, but not quite.
Pounding rang in my ears.
I was calm. I was at peace. Calm. Peace.
Through the window, I could see the sun was already halfway through the sky. My stomach growled at me. I swallowed dryly. The servant would have already come by now, but I didn’t hear anything.
Suddenly, the door slowly creaked open.
Thank fucking God.
My breath caught in my throat.
No.
Ezra walked in alone. His pants were hanging low, and his beige tunic opened at the top, revealing his strong, tan chest. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.
I was going to kill him. I glared at him as he strutted toward me.
“Are you going to listen?”
I pressed my lips against each other.
“You’re putting yourself in this position, Eshe.”
“No—you put me in this position!” My affirmations went out the window, and I wanted nothing more than to snap his neck.
Ezra leaned against the bedpost across from me. Not too close, or else I’d be tempted to strangle him with my legs. Smart.
A few moments passed. I calmed myself once again, thinking happy thoughts. My brother was alive. Seda visited the other day. Norrah was the sister I never had.
“Are you ready to listen?” Ezra interrupted my happy thoughts.
“I have nothing else I could do but listen.” I looked away from him toward the window.
“No.” Ezra chuckled. “You clearly don’t understand what I mean.” I looked back at him questioningly. “You are going to listen to me from now on. If I so much as suspect that you have disobeyed me again, the consequence will be far greater.”
“You”—my heart raced—“are not my father. You do not tell me what to do. I will die here, and I wouldn’t care as long as you know that I am not yours to do as you please.”
“It’s your choice,” Ezra grunted with a shrug, like he couldn’t care less. He started to walk toward the entrance of the room.
“Ezra—wait!” I shouted. There was nothing I hated more than being confined. Being confined. I felt like I could be drowning, the walls caving in. Anything could happen here with me tied. I couldn’t—
My breathing quickened again.
Ezra stopped and turned slowly, his hands in his pockets.
“What exactly do you want from me?” I managed to get out.
“Do not sneak around my business or question the people that are mine. Rather simple, really,” he whispered.
“I want to be able to fight in your arena here at the palace.”
His lips curved up, but they didn’t meet his dark eyes. “You are not in a position to be asking anything, Eshe.”
“I see it outside my window. It’s small—I can make sure I’m not using it when you or your men are. It’s what I want, and in return, I’ll make sure not to sneak around your business or question your people. It’ll keep me busy, so it’s an advantage to you.”
Ezra was quiet. His gaze lowered to my lips, to my neck, and to my half-opened chest. The air tilted warm once more.
Fire sprang from within me, and my chest rose and fell quickly.
Ezra stilled. “No, I’m afraid that’s not an option for you. But I will do something for you in return.”
I met his eyes.
“I’ll release you from this hold.”
My eyes fell back to the window. I couldn’t look at him for another second. He was infuriating. Worse than my brothers ever were. I was defeated and humiliated.
“Just leave,” I whispered.
I heard Ezra approach me. A knife slashed through the ripped cloth, causing my wrists to fall, and my shoulders dropped, instantly burning.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and kept my gaze from him. I heard his footsteps as he neared my door.
“I expect you to behave yourself here, Eshe.”