14. Ezra
Ezra
I was tempted to throw Eshe into a harem to get her out of my sight, but for reasons I didn’t understand, I wanted to keep her here.
That meant that she had to obey my wishes the same as every other man and woman in my vicinity—in my country.
It wasn’t difficult, and I was a pretty reasonable person as long as one didn’t push my boundaries.
Which Eshe had already done more times than anyone who’d survived to tell it.
My patience was a thin rope that Eshe seemed to be cutting at relentlessly.
I might have felt a tinge of guilt after what I did to Eshe last night, knowing how much she hated feeling confined and tied to the point of panic, but she wasn’t in any real danger from it.
I knew that that was going to be what controlled her.
Casimir and I sat in one of our shared quarters in the palace. We were near the fireplace on low cushions, playing a game of chess. I could tell something was weighing on his mind, but I wasn’t ready to dive into a debate with him. He always needed something from me.
He placed the bishop next to my pawn. I sat back to give myself a second chance to look from his perspective. What was he getting at?
“I heard the Atrove has been seen around the city walls,” Casimir muttered while twisting one of my dead pawns around his fingers.
I cleared my throat. “Is that so?”
“You haven’t heard?” Surprise lingered in Casimir’s voice.
“It’s not unusual. I’m sure they’re just passing by.” I moved my pawn two squares up. “We don’t want to rattle them more than they already are. Make sure none of your men are bothering them, and we should be fine.”
Casimir nodded. “It’s a bit unnerving. I sense the tension in the city rising.”
I remained quiet as he moved his bishop once again. My teeth gritted. He was bringing me into a corner of the board.
Bastard.
“There’s even been tension inside these palace walls,” he continued, twirling the pawn and darting his eyes at me.
I responded with a mmm, not really taking much interest in this conversation as much as the king I was going to take from him.
“The tension with Eshe?” he blurted out. I glanced up and moved my queen closer to his without breaking eye contact.
He had my attention now. “What about her, Casimir?”
“Did something happen with her? She seems more on edge today.”
I shrugged. “Just a simple lesson. She’ll be fine.”
Casimir scoffed. “Knowing you, it most likely wasn’t as simple as you say.” He moved his damn bishop again. “Fear is not going to be how you control anyone.”
“On the contrary”—I moved my knight—“inducing fear can be quite effective. I speak of this from experience.” I shot him a wink.
“Yes, but when it comes to Eshe, maybe a gentler method would work better,” he countered.
“Gentler method? Do you know of whom we’re speaking?”
Casimir laughed, moving his palace piece to the side. I moved my pawn one square up.
“Just in my personal experience with women, they respond better with this. I’ve never had an issue getting what I want.”
It was my turn to laugh. “You speak truth, my brother. I just want Eshe out of my business.”
“Then why don’t you let her go? I’m sure you wouldn’t have this issue anymore.”
For a moment, a memory came to the forefront of my mind from eight years ago.
I walked eagerly near my father’s desk in the guest quarters at the palace in Crahst, capital of Zyriah.
He had called me in for another meeting.
There’d been a lot of those lately in preparation for the engagement.
I would be marrying Eshe to keep the peace from the wars that have been going on between our families for generations.
“I have some news, Ezra, and you’re not going to like it.” The column of his throat worked before he cleared it. “Eshe will be marrying Casimir. It will be announced during her celebration tonight.”
The tapestry from under me threatened to pull up. For a moment, I saw only red. I could feel heat vibrating through my body.
“How is that possible?” I snapped, pressing my fingers to my chest. “I’m the oldest.”
“Her father is… unorthodox in his ways. He let his daughter decide,” my father explained.
I loved my brother, but for a split second, I hated him. I felt guilty about that instantly. But Eshe was mine. I could feel it in my bones. I wanted her—I needed her.
Though it was pouring for the first time this year, the rain would not cool my body enough to calm me once I left my father’s chambers. My hands shook, and I pulled them together until they squeezed white.
I never wanted to hurt someone more than in this moment.
As I passed by the outdoor baths, I heard screaming.
Though it was late in the afternoon and the storm made it hard to see through, I saw her.
Alone, gasping, nearly drowning in the flooding bath.
She was tied against one of the railings, and quickly and without sound, I loosened them.
I waited to ensure she noticed that the rope had loosened.
She finally lifted herself up from the bath, trembling and freezing.
She looked around and found no one. I disappeared around the columns, and the thick, dark storm surrounded us.
But I found someone other than Eshe there at the baths that night.
He was there, watching.
My hands throbbed to murder him for what he did—
Casimir cleared his throat, waiting for a response that took too long for me to give.
“I haven’t decided what I want to do with her,” I said at last.
The door opened, and our servant came to let us know dinner had been served in the dining room.
Casimir and I left our chess game and walked to dinner in silence. The spices wafted through the air as we entered the room. The table held multiple types of sauces, meats with rice, but my appetite had not yet returned from the memory that pronged my mind.
We sat on opposite sides of the long wooden table. Typically, our father would be here, but he hadn’t sat for dinner over the last year, as his health had been declining.
Our mother entered. She was dressed in her dark purple robes.
They arrived earlier today, tired but seemingly rejuvenated.
As usual, she sat near Casimir because I was never one to make good conversation.
I would eat as fast as I could and leave even quicker.
Conversations were a nuisance and distracted me from my duties.
I gave our mother a quick nod before the three of us sat in our places.
Before I had time to pick up my fork, the door swung open again. Eshe walked in without so much as a glance in my direction. Her thick black hair waved loosely past her half-bare shoulders. She wore loose black pants and a fitted top, showing more skin than I would have cared to see.
The fork I picked up nearly bent in half.
“Who do we have here, Casimir?” our mother exclaimed, delighted.
My brother gave me a look, but I let him take the reins.
“Mother, this is—”
“Mara, my name is Mara.” Eshe gave a smile.
My lips threatened to smile, but I kept my face stone still. Smart move. She didn’t want any dirt to get back to Kavid in case she brought harm to our family. I shook my head. I didn’t care if she wanted to play this game, but the truth always came out one way or another.
“Mara,” my mother tried her name, completely oblivious to who Eshe was.
Interesting. It was only eight years ago, but Eshe hadn’t changed that drastically, physically anyway.
I didn’t recognize her right away with her veil over her face, but once she took it off, that face had haunted my nightmares.
But I can see how it would be hard to believe Eshe was here, right now, with her supposed death looming over the hearts of those who had come to know her.
“That’s really beautiful, darling. Come sit with us.
Casimir, you didn’t tell me you brought a guest to the palace? You sure do have a type.”
Casimir looked at me again.
What do I do? My brother seemed to say.
I shrugged. Why should I care what you do?
Casimir narrowed his eyes. You always leave me to fix your mess.
I smirked, giving him a wink. I think it’s the other way around, brother.
Eshe chose the empty seat next to Casimir. She still hadn’t acknowledged me. I leaned back against my chair, partly amused, partly annoyed.
“Mara is from Zyriah. She’s a distant relative of Kavid,” Casimir explained.
“Oh, well, that explains the eyes. You look so much like his sister. Really, how lovely! We’ve visited Zyriah many times, but it’s been years. How is it there?”
“I wouldn’t know. I’m not able to visit it,” Eshe said plainly.
“Why is that?” My mother frowned.
“You can ask your—”
“Mother, how is Father’s health after the trip?” Casimir intercepted Eshe.
Mother looked from Casimir to Eshe and back to Casimir, but wouldn’t dare press the matter.
“He’s… he’s doing better now that he’s home, I believe. He would like to see you when you have time.”
“I’d love to meet him,” Eshe said.
“That’s not going to happen,” I said. My mother and Casimir turned their heads toward me, but Eshe remained looking at our mother.
“There was something that I thought I might ask him,” Eshe continued.
My jaw tightened. Was this woman deaf?
Our mother, with wide eyes, looked back at Eshe, just as shocked as I was that this woman wouldn’t look at me when she spoke. The lack of respect was abhorrent. Maybe I’d have to teach her another lesson.
For a moment, I thought about last night. Maybe she wanted that. I remembered the quickening of her breath as she saw me take her in fully with my eyes. How her face flushed when mine was near hers. She was almost pliable to me. I shifted in my seat.
“I’m sure whatever it is you’ll ask, he will allow. Though Ezra is the Qahl and can grant anything.” She smiled at Eshe and nodded toward me. “Go ahead and ask him. Ezra, do be kind when considering the desires of our guests.”
I put my fork down.
“Speak. What is it you want, Mara?”
Eshe looked down at her food and began to move it with her fork.
“I was wondering if he would allow me to practice my dancing in the private arena just below my window.”
“You dance? How beautiful.” My mother beamed. “We are having a celebration in a few days. Will you perform for us? And where are you staying?” she questioned. “There is no arena next to any of the guest chambers.”
My brother and I spoke at the same time—
“The guest chambers—”
“They were filled from last week’s guests—”
“—were getting cleaned this week—”
“—there was nothing we could do but give her the chamber near the arena,” I finally got it out.
My brother and I looked at each other. I could see sweat accumulating on Casimir’s forehead.
Eshe smiled.
“Oh, I see. I didn’t realize our guests stayed that long. What a horrid place to put her in, Casimir.” She gave my brother a disapproving look.
Casimir flinched back and gave me a glare.
You did this, he seemed to say.
I take the blame for you all the time—you’ll be fine, I said in my mind.
Our mother looked back at Eshe. “This is something you can bring up to Ezra. He could answer that question since it is his private arena.”
There was silence at the table.
Eshe was twisting her loose pants around her finger under the table. She was nervous.
I contemplated what my brother shared earlier today.
I stared and studied Eshe while the table remained quiet.
She shifted in her seat.
“You can practice your dancing in my arena as long as there aren’t any of my men there.”
Eshe’s fork stopped moving. Her eyes finally met mine.
The room grew quiet, the silence nearly deafening.
“Thank you,” she eventually said softly as she raised her chin a bit higher. She looked back at her food and didn’t say another word for the rest of the meal.
Finally.