35. Eshe #3
Salazar’s eyes dipped to my hands, which were clenched in a fist again. He was right. If he had told me, I would have gone straight to Kavid and killed his murderous ass.
“You have always had a powerful heart, Eshe. I know this about you. I taught you everything I knew, and you excelled in everything. I knew that it would be dangerous for you if you found out the truth.”
“Why did he try to kill me?” I glared at him.
Salazar took another deep, shaky breath. I frowned. He looked almost white and sick, despite his tan skin. “He wanted you dead because of what is in your blood.”
I swallowed the sandy sensation at the back of my throat. “What do you mean?”
“Eshe, you are not your father’s daughter.”
The winds picked up, whistling in my ears, but I couldn’t hear any of it.
I stared at Salazar as my heart thudded against my ribcage.
“W—what? What are you saying?”
Salazar grabbed my fisted hands, the warmth seeping into mine. I nearly fell apart, and I didn’t even know why yet.
My chin wobbled for the first time in years.
He looked into my eyes, and that was when I recognized his face, as if it were my own.
The world slipped beneath me, and I couldn’t breathe.
“You’re my daughter, Eshe. Kavid found out when he saw me talking to your mother the day before he tried to kill you.”
I reached for my chest, begging for air to enter my lungs. I pulled his arms away from me. Shaking my head, “No, no, no.”
“I shouldn’t have been talking to her. She has always been my weakness—I know that now.
” He shook his head. “No, I knew that then as well. But when Kavid overheard our conversation, I tried to talk to him. I never thought he would do what he did. I watched him grow. He was a bright kid, not one fighting bone in his body. I thought I could see that in people, you know? After she gave birth to Yonam and Kavid, we fell in love, Eshe—your mother and I. I think we had been in love for years before that. We just never did anything about it. The Qahl focused on everything but her after she gave birth to his sons.”
I blinked the burning sting in my eyes and listened to every word Salazar gave me. He was my father. I saw the curve in the corners of his eyes, just like mine. I saw the fullness of his lips, just like mine.
My chest threatened to collapse.
My mother… she had fallen in love with Salazar. Oh my God. This was too much. I wasn’t my father’s daughter and she…
“Your father never knew, of course. He loved you as his own because he had never known it to be otherwise. The only people who knew were your mother and me. Until Kavid.”
“But why? Why would he kill our entire family?”
Salazar looked at his hands and shook his head again. “I’m not sure, my darling. I’m not sure.”
He placed his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in, and I let him. I hated to admit it, but there was always something in Salazar that made me feel safe to confide in him my entire life, that made me excited to learn something from him.
It was my blood. It was he—he was my father.
My heart cracked in grief for the man I had come to know as my father. Besides his resounding encouragement, there was no pull between him and me, not like Salazar.
I allowed his comfort, my head lying on the soft part of his shoulder.
“Come with me, Eshe,” he muttered against my ear.
Realization settled in that I had a half sister. Little Tarrie. She had the same blood as me. She was as much related to me as Yonam and Kavid.
“Tarrie,” my voice almost cracked. “She’s my sister.” I had always treated her as such, but now this made it that much clearer to me.
He nodded softly, still holding me.
“Salazar, I need to do something before I go home.”
His arms tightened around me. “Revenge is not the answer, Eshe.”
My blood then began to numb as I opened my eyes and stared far into the dunes. “My family deserves justice.”
“I know they do. Do you think his death is the answer?”
“I do,” I said without hesitation, and I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth. I almost didn’t recognize myself.
“Killing a Qahl is no small matter,” Salazar remarked, stepping back.
“I trained for it—with Garamgai,” I said meekly.
A twitch in the corner of Salazar’s lips told me he was proud. “But still, Eshe. I didn’t come searching for you just to allow you to endanger yourself with revenge against Kavid.”
I took a step back and spread my arms out. “Then what is the answer? Where is justice? My family didn’t deserve what happened because of who I am, because you’re my real father.” My voice cracked, but I quickly gained control over my feelings.
I imagined ice-cold silver poison flooding my veins, cooling every emotion that tempted me to deter myself from anything but perfect revenge.
“Let me take care of this. I have some friends in Zyriah. Perhaps I can persuade them to take up the challenge. The people haven’t been too happy with Kavid, regardless. But I do not want you near him, do you hear me?”
I nodded—the feeling of seeing my old country sparked something inside my bones.
“I’ll stay away from him,” I lied.
“Good.” Salazar gave me a tight smile before pulling me into his arms. I melted in them like I have my entire life.