Chapter 11 #2
“I’m sorry about that. And I want to stop being afraid, because like I said that isn’t the man I want to be. I think you could help me with that because you might be the bravest person I know.”
Alice shook her head. She definitely wasn’t that.
“No? You took a chance on me, let me close to you. That’s brave.”
Not exactly true. She trusted him not to hurt her. Well, in hindsight that might have been the wrong move.
“I want to insist that you come home with me. That you let me treat you the way that I should have from the beginning. Let me show you that I can take care of you properly. But I also know kidnapping you and keeping you locked in my house probably isn’t the best solution.”
That actually made her snort.
Yeah. That definitely wouldn’t be the right choice.
“In case it’s not obvious, the fact that you’re a Little isn’t putting me off at all. That’s what you are, isn’t it? There were hints now that I think about it.” He shook his head. “But I was too fucking involved in my own self-pity to see it.”
Alice didn’t like that he was being so hard on himself. She shuffled forward in her seat and reached a hand out. Then she realized what she was doing and snatched it back. She didn’t want to risk him rejecting her.
But she couldn’t pull it fully back because he grabbed it in his hand, holding it firmly.
“I’ve never been in a relationship with a Little before.
But I’ve been around them before, I guess you could say.
I used to go to a BDSM club before I really hit the bigtime in my career.
And then I was focused completely on my career.
I think that’s another reason I was with Jenna.
She didn’t require my attention and she wasn’t a sub.
If she had been, perhaps I would have lost some of that focus. I don’t know.”
That didn’t surprise her. He definitely had a Dom vibe. But that didn’t mean he wanted to be a Daddy Dom.
And Alice had decided that if she was ever going to give her Little into someone’s care it would be someone who wanted her.
“I know it doesn’t seem like I’d know how to take care of your Little, or you might think I don’t want her. But, baby, I do. And if you give me a chance, I’ll show you.”
He couldn’t just change who he was for her. That wouldn’t work. She knew that.
Anson rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I know you’re probably thinking that I’m just saying words and that I’ll change my mind. Or that I don’t know what I’m getting into. Give me a chance, baby. That’s all I’m asking. One chance. I’ll show you that I mean every word.”
Did she have that in her?
God, she wanted to believe in him, wanted to give him that chance.
“I wish I could make everything better with some words. But I’ve proven I’m not good with those. So all I’ve got are actions. Go to Caldwell’s cabin. But come to my place for Christmas. Spend Christmas with me. Let me work a Christmas miracle. I hope.”
She thought about that.
“Is this all too much to think about while you’re in Little headspace?” he asked.
It was. However, she wasn’t fully in Little headspace anymore. How could she be with all this information coming at her?
“Of course it is, Anson,” he muttered. “You idiot.”
Christmas bells. She just realized that she was hiding behind being Little to avoid talking to him.
That wasn’t good enough.
So she slid her thumb from her mouth. “I’ll go to the cabin.”
“You will?” His face lit up and she felt bad about the next part.
“But only because I don’t want to spend Christmas here.” She gestured around. “I deserve to have a Christmas that I’ve dreamed of for . . . years.”
“You haven’t had very good Christmases recently?”
“George didn’t like Christmas. He used to tell me it was a waste of time and money. I wasn’t allowed a tree. Or to watch Christmas movies or play carols. I couldn’t decorate. Not for any holiday. I really want to decorate for all of the holidays.”
“You couldn’t even watch a movie?”
“I used to watch them sneakily when he was at work,” she confessed.
“Good for you, baby.”
Those words surprised her. Especially when he’d told her how much he hated Christmas.
“What would he have done if he’d caught you watching them?” he asked in a dark voice.
She couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking.
“Probably lectured me on how I was rotting my brain. Or that it was a waste of time. Then he’d likely have assigned me more to do during the day as I obviously had too much free time on my hands.”
“Assigned you more things to do?” he repeated. “What the hell does that mean?”
She winced. “I was a stay-at-home wife. I didn’t really want to be, if I was honest. It’s what George liked.”
“Was it always about what George liked?” he asked.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she nodded. “Yes, it was always all about George.”
“Did he abuse you?” His voice was dark and low. Dangerous.
Her thumb went back into her mouth without thought.
“Right. You’re not ready to tell me. Because you don’t trust me. Because I’ve done nothing to earn that trust.”
She winced because all that was true, but it still made her feel bad.
“It’s all right, baby. Not your fault. One day you’ll trust me with everything. Including more information about fucking George.”
Would she?
She wasn’t so sure.
“Can I drive you up there? I’ll get Joey to bring your car up.”
Alice slid her thumb from her mouth. “I don’t want to be a nuisance.”
Relief filled his face which was odd. Was he relieved that he didn’t have to take her?
“You aren’t a nuisance. Never that. I’m going to call Joey while you pack up your stuff.”
She’d barely unpacked so that wouldn’t take long. But she nodded. She could do that. In fact, she kind of liked being given a task because she felt so lost. Having a job to do grounded her.
So as he got out his phone and spoke quietly into it, she moved around and packed up her stuff. Going into the bathroom, she got dressed into adult clothes. A pang of longing filled her as she put the onesie away. But she could always put it back on when she got to the cabin.
She set her suitcase down by the door as Anson stood.
Alice wanted to offer to help him as he moved stiffly to the door. But she knew better than to do that.
Then he reached for the suitcase before sighing and moving his hand away. “Can’t fucking do that. I’ll probably strain something or slip over. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. At least, not for that.” She managed to grin at him.
To her shock, he grinned back at her. It caught her completely by surprise and his smile took away her breath.
He was utterly gorgeous.
“Yeah, you’re not wrong,” he said.
“I am, though. I mean, I don’t want you to keep apologizing to me. Once is enough.”
“Maybe, but I need to keep apologizing until you forgive me.”
“I’ve already forgiven you,” she told him.
“Baby, don’t give me that too easily,” he told her.
“I get why you jumped to the conclusions that you did, after all that you’ve been through. That doesn’t mean that I . . . that I can trust you, though.”
“No, my actions are what is going to gain your trust. I’m going to show you that you can believe in me.”