Chapter 30
Matt
“Thought I’d find you here.”
Eugene’s voice filters into my consciousness, where I must’ve fallen asleep again in Bossfit’s loft space, surrounded by the pillows.
Just how I like it.
“You do realize your usual ‘seven minutes in heaven’ respites have turned into multiple hour-long snooze fests, yeah?” he says. “Just out of curiosity, how many of your classes do you expect me to cover this week?”
“Shit, what time is it?” I pat around the pillows looking for my phone.
“I just taught your four thirty.”
“Argh. Sorry about that.”
I groan some more when Gene flicks on the light, blinding me, but I do find my phone. I check my missed calls for at least the tenth time today, hoping for a message from her, but… no.
It’s been two days since I told Gene about Elinor cheating on him.
Two days since I’ve had any contact with Penny.
I should be focused on making sure Gene’s okay, but I’m not proud to say, I’ve been caught up in my own misery instead, wallowing over my breakup with my not-real-girlfriend. Can you even call it a breakup if we were never officially together? Probably not.
Come on, man, be the solid friend you say you are.
“What’s the latest?” I ask. “You doing okay? Talk to me.”
Eugene sits down on one of the pillows, then flops onto his back.
I do the same. I wasn’t ready to go downstairs and face the world—or our gym members—yet anyway.
“Welp. Wedding’s officially off.” He exhales heavily.
“Did you just say ‘welp’?”
“I did.”
“I didn’t know people actually said that word in real life,” I mess with him. In times of trouble, I think keeping one’s sense of humor is important. If I can make my buddy laugh while he’s going through this shitstorm, then I’m going to do it.
Gene smiles, but there’s a sadness behind it. “If ever I was going to ‘welp,’ this seems like the right time to do it.” It’s silent for a moment. “I see why you like it up here. It’s cozy as fuck.”
“Yeah. I do my best thinking up here.” I turn my head to look at him. “I am sorry, man. About the wedding.”
“I’m not,” Gene stares up at the ceiling. “I knew things weren’t right between us.”
“You did?” I say, surprised.
“Of course I did. I mean, all the signs were there, but I just… didn’t know how to deal with it, I guess? We’d been together so long, I think we just became a habit.” He snorts. “Not exactly the most romantic reason to get married, huh?”
“Not really, no,” I chuckle. “But I get it. You wanted things to work with her. I’m sorry she didn’t treat you better.”
“Thanks, man.”
“So what happens now?” I ask.
“Well, the wedding isn’t happening, but I still have a Times Square-facing bar/lounge at my disposal for New Year's Eve.”
“Wow! What are you going to do with it?”
He shrugs. “I think I’m going to throw an Ugly Christmas Sweater New Year's Eve Party.” He says it like that’s a totally normal thing for him to say.
“Excuse me, sir? Why?”
He shrugs again. “Because I’ve always wanted to throw an Ugly Christmas Sweater New Year's Eve Party.”
“You have? PS, why are you shrugging so much? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you shrug in all the years I’ve known you, and you just did it twice.”
“People change.” He shrugs a third time.
“Maybe I’m a shrugger now. And yes, I’ve always wanted to throw an ugly sweater party.
But I never did it, because it seemed silly, and I’m realizing now that I’ve let myself get too serious over the past few years.
I don’t want to blame that on Elinor, but… ”
“I have no problem blaming things on Elinor,” I joke.
He smiles. “I just stopped having fun, ya know? Maybe I was trying to fit myself into the boyfriend mold she expected of me? Who knows, but I do think I’m a weirder person than I’ve allowed myself to be.
So…” He takes a dramatic pause. “My New Year’s resolution is to finally unleash some of my strange. ”
“Is that a warning?” I laugh.
“I think it is, yeah.”
“Bring it on, weirdo,” I say. “I fully support whatever you need to do to get over that woman. And, as your almost Best Man, I vow to further show my support by wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater imaginable to your party. Assuming I’m invited.”
“Of course you’re invited. As are all our Bossfit members.”
“Well, this sounds like a hell of a great way to ring in the new year, my friend. I’m excited.”
Eugene has done the impossible. He had me forgetting about Penny for a few minutes and actually looking forward to something.
“So how’s the living situation?” I continue. “You need to crash at my place for a bit?”
“Nah. Apartment lease is in my name, so she’s already gone,” Gene says. “She moved her stuff out this morning while I was here, and she’s staying with… friends, I guess? That Tagg asshole? Her parents? I don’t know, actually. And currently, I don’t care.”
“You don’t?” My eyebrows furrow.
“Please note I said that I currently don’t care. Last night, I cared very much. I read all our old emails from when we first started dating and cried my fucking eyes out. But today is a new day, and I’m feeling okay for now, so I’m running with it.”
“As you should,” I nod emphatically.
“And how about you?” Gene asks. “Has she called yet?”
So much for getting me to forget about her.
“Who?” I sit up and pretend to busy myself on my phone.
Gene sits up too and shoves me in the shoulder. “Who? Penny, you dumbass.”
“No, she has not.” I sigh.
“So get in there, dude!”
“Get in where?” I put my phone down.
“Back in the game! Get your girl back!”
“Hm. Yeah,” I say sarcastically. “There are just a few problems with that brilliant plan.”
“Let’s hear ’em.”
“One. She lied to me.”
“She didn’t lie to you,” he scoffs.
“The fuck she didn’t!”
“If anything, she lied to me,” Gene says. “Or at least withheld the truth. But I one hundred percent understand why she did it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah! It wasn’t her information to share! Plus, she doesn’t even really know me. Her loyalty is to Keira. As it should be.”
“Well, are you at least pissed at Keira then?”
“I don’t know what I am at Keira,” he says and stares off into the distance.
Something tells me we’ll have to unpack that one later.
“You know what will really piss me off, though?” Gene continues. “If you mess up your own relationship with some misguided attempt to defend my honor. I don’t need a punk ass prince charming like you coming to my rescue here.”
“But—”
“Matt? I’m serious. If you cut her out of your life because of this, I will never forgive you.” He leans closer to me. “For the record? I’ve never seen you happier than you’ve been this past month with her.”
“I’m always happy,” I argue.
“Eh,” Gene shrugs.
“Dude, stop shrugging! And what’s ‘eh?’ Don’t ‘eh’ me.”
“My ‘eh’ is because… yes, you’re always upbeat, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy.”
Well, damn.
Having friends who call you on your shit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
When I don’t say anything, Eugene pats me on the shoulder and stands, heading to the door.
“What? Now you’re just gonna leave?”
He turns and flashes me a cheesy grin. “I was trying that thing people do in TV shows. You know, where they drop a truth bomb on someone, then just… let it burn?”
“You’re an idiot.” I laugh.
“So are you if you let Penny go,” he says, more serious now. He leans against the doorframe, waiting, I suppose, for my reaction to another “truth bomb.”
I scrub a hand over my face. “I hear you. But you’re forgetting one very important detail in this whole mess.”
“What’s that?”
“I looked right into that woman’s gorgeous brown eyes and told her that I love her. And do you know what she said?”
“What?”
“‘It doesn’t matter.’”
“Of course it matters!” Gene gets all fired up. “Tell me what she said!”
“No, that’s what she said, Gene. I told her I love her, and she said, ‘It doesn’t matter.’”
I flashback to that moment, replaying the look on her face when she said it.
Broke my fucking heart.
“People say a lot of things they don’t mean when they’re scared.”
“And I don’t know, man. Penny is one of the strongest, most confident people I know. What could she possibly be afraid of?”
Gene shrugs one last time, exaggerating it for comic relief, his shoulders almost touching his ears. “Maybe it’s time you ask her that.”