Chapter Seventeen
………………………….
Ily
DOING MY BEST TO KEEP MY attention on Faiza, I listened with Mollie and Rachel. Three weeks had passed, and we’d managed to meet most days. The guards didn’t care, the cooks just rolled their eyes, and we’d made headway…but not as much as we needed to.
I rubbed at the persistent bruise in my heart. A bruise that refused to heal like the others had on my body.
Three weeks and Henri hadn’t said a damn word to me.
Each time we made eye contact, he tore his stare away.
Each time he climbed into bed, he grabbed a book with shaky hands and threw himself into the pages with feral desperation, hinting he wasn’t coping.
I’d tried to talk to him.
I’d tried to give him pieces of my past. I whispered about my dream of working with the Crown Jewels. Of my job at the Tower of London. I even told him a little about Krish and his unique, wonderful way of viewing the world.
And…nothing.
Not a peep.
He showered alone.
Dressed quickly.
And visibly exhaled in relief when afternoon rolled around, and I left to visit the jewels.
By the time I returned to him in the evening, his face held so many shadows and his eyes so many ghosts, I didn’t know how to bring him back.
He’s dying right in front of me.
“—but I did manage to get Willem to give me some slow-release fertilizer pellets so that should help, right?”
Shaking my head, I scattered the fears over Henri and focused on Faiza again.
Rachel gave me an odd look before nodding with Mollie. “That’s amazing, Faiza. I can’t believe he agreed to help after catching you stealing the indoor plant food.”
Faiza grinned. “He was brought here as a fourteen-year-old boy. Snatched at a local fete where he showed off his home-grown vegetables. He’ll do anything to get back home.”
Short and petite with glossy black hair, bright ebony eyes, and gorgeous caramel skin, she could’ve been a social media superstar if she hadn’t been targeted and trafficked. Dressed in a prim maid’s uniform, a silver choker glimmered beneath the starched white collar of her shirt.
The first time I’d seen that collar, I’d felt so angry. Absolutely livid that she wore a ticking time bomb around her throat, knowing that any day Victor could swap the silver for gold and her job description would end up like us.
The torment of that had ensured she’d not only agreed to help but went above and beyond to the point she’d become our linchpin in this whole attempt.
Faiza stepped a little closer. “I know you’ve made a couple of presents with the bleach and vinegar I gave you, but…if we’re truly doing this, you’re going to have to target all the guard posts, most of the Master’s bedrooms, and as many large common areas as you can.”
Dismay trickled through me. “H-How many is that?”
Faiza pursed her lips before huffing, “About fifty. Give or take.”
“Fifty?” I whisper-hissed, shooting a glance at the camera. The lens pointed toward the row of knives and pots hanging against the stone wall.
“They don’t all have to be huge,” Mollie whispered. “The ones in the Master chambers could consist of smaller explosions…just enough to create confusion and smoke. But the ones near the guard posts and communal areas will need to cause a decent amount of destruction. Do you think you could get your hands on any petrol or diesel, Faiza?” Mollie quirked an eyebrow. “If we can get some Styrofoam, I could make—”
“No way,” Rachel hissed. “You want to make foo gas? Homemade napalm? Have you completely lost the plot?”
“I know it’s highly unstable and dangerous, but—”
“But nothing. You’d kill yourself before we could hide it and set it off. It’s lethal, Mols.” Rachel crossed her arms. “We’ll make fifty smaller ones and hope for the best.”
“Can you make fifty?” My heart raced, amazed at their scientific knowledge of turning simple ingredients into such mayhem. “How long will that take? Will you have enough containers and supplies? How will we place them in the rooms?”
I’d thought three weeks would be enough time.
Turned out, it’d been nothing.
Rachel cupped her belly without thinking. I wanted to ask how she was. Morning sickness had started, so meeting in the kitchens sometimes sent her rushing to the bathroom.
Catching my stare, she winced and dropped her hand. “May has raided the recycling shed again. She’s selected all the bottles that will work. The shed only gets emptied once a month, so it holds more than enough containers for us to make that many.”
“You just need to sneak us as many chemicals as possible, Faiza,” Mollie said quietly. “You’ve done amazing on the bleach, and I tend to agree that napalm might be pushing it, but if you could get other things like ammonia, pesticides, oven cleaners, hydrogen peroxide, paint thinners, solvents, chlorine, and mold removers. With a few additions and tweaks, I can make some substantial weapons.” She smiled and dropped her voice even lower. “The bleach-and-vinegar mix will create a noxious gas that can kill. If we trapped a few Masters and guards in their rooms, we’d whittle down the numbers quite well. I can make mustard gas too. If we manage to make enough of them and ensure they all go off at the same time, it’ll be chaos.”
Rachel hugged herself, a violent tint to her stare. “While the castle burns and everyone runs around with damaged lungs and stinging eyes, we can race in here, grab all the knives, and start slashing.”
I flinched at the mental image. Of stabbing someone as viciously as Henri stabbed Kyle.
“How do we get everything to go off at the same time?” I asked.
“I’ll make fuses out of cotton, potassium, and sugar,” Mollie answered. “If we make the wicks long enough, and if Faiza can recruit more cleaners, we could have her team light them when doing their cleaning rounds in the morning and an hour or so later…boom.”
My mind raced, trying and failing to see how this would work. “What about our collars? I doubt they’re still inactive after running around the island?”
“Yeah, Vic came and turned all ours back on before he left.” Mollie bared her teeth. “But we figure they can’t shock all of us at the same time. We’ll be okay as long as we stay separate and don’t congregate. We’ll also have to get out of the castle once the gas goes off. Otherwise, we’ll just poison ourselves with them, but…if one jewel is being electrified, then another can hopefully get close enough to kill the Master doing it.”
“So…some will be used as bait while others turn into assassins?” I rocked back on my heels.
“You got a better idea?” Rachel asked.
I paused, thinking. “No one’s turned my collar on. At least…I don’t think so. Perhaps if I’m still free, I could use that to my advantage.”
Everyone went very, very still. “Has Master H had any reason to zap you? You need to test it…if you’re right, then wow.” Mollie’s eyes lit up. “This could be the break we were looking for. You could sneak out and get past the electric boundary line. You could—”
“Where’s she going to go?” Faiza whispered. “When I was flown in, all I could see for miles and miles was ocean.”
“Wait.” I narrowed my eyes. “You saw where we are? Victor didn’t block the windows?”
Faiza shook her head. “No, they were wide open.” She shivered. “I was still a little loopy from the drugs he gave me, but I saw enough.”
“Can you describe what else you saw?” I asked. “The layout of the island, the shape of the castle from a bird’s-eye view…I might be able to figure out where we are and…” My shoulders slouched. “It probably won’t help, but…all information is good information.”
“Sure, I’ll remember as much as I can tonight and do my best to give you as clear of a description as possible.”
I gave her a weary smile. “We get one shot at this.” I didn’t want to be pessimistic, but….
“Agreed.” Mollie nodded. “It’s why, even though we need approximately fifty bombs to make even a dent in this damn place, I’m going to aim for sixty, seventy, eighty…I want spares. I want some hidden in the gardens. I want some where no one will expect them.” Her eyes lit up. “If we can enlist more gardeners and get more fert, I could really make something worthwhile. Something large enough to draw all the guards off the battlement and give us a chance to steal a few sniper weapons.”
Rachel sucked in a breath. “Can you shoot one of those?”
“No, but I’m willing to have a crack. You?”
I balled my hands. “I’m willing to do anything.”
“Same.” Rachel nodded.
“Me too,” Faiza whispered.
Seriousness fell over our little group.
“So …we’re still forging ahead, then?” Mollie asked. “Victor is due back any day now.”
“I know.” Rachel cradled her stomach again. “We need to get as much done as possible.”
We all nodded.
I stiffened, hating that I didn’t have the science degrees or other know-how to help. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to contribute as much as you have. I hate that I’m not allowed to sleep in the slave quarters with you. This would be so much easier if we could—”
“There is something you can do,” Rachel muttered, flicking a cagey look at Mollie. “Something that none of us can achieve. Only you.”
“Of course.” I swayed closer. “Anything.”
“Rach.” Mollie winced. “Are we sure we want to do this? I know we said he has potential, but he’s still—”
“He protected us that night. He killed—”
“Wait…you’re talking about Henri?” I whispered, my heart skipping.
Rachel pursed her lips. “The way he lost his shit on Kyle for hurting you. The way he kept us safe—”
“He’s still a Master, Rach.” Mollie crossed her arms. “He’s still the enemy.”
“Yes, but…what if he truly was acting like he said in those videos that day Victor almost shot him?” Rachel shivered. “What if he’s like a triple-crosser, you know? A cop, turned baddie, but really still a cop?”
“You’ve watched way too many action movies.” Mollie rolled her eyes.
“And you’ve turned into a cynic.” Rachel shot back.
“Being raped by a necrophiliac will do that to a person,” Mollie snapped.
I held up my hand. “You…you want me to ask Henri to join us?”
Both girls slouched. “Want is a strong word. But…we might need someone who’s above every rule. He can go anywhere he pleases. He can explain away his presence far easier than we can if he gets caught in certain areas—”
“Victor is still suspicious of him.” I tensed. “He might not be as inconspicuous as you think.”
“Then you tell us.” Mollie looked me up and down. “You live with him. You sleep with him. How has he been since his mentor flew away? Has he taken to whispering to you again? Asking you to go along with him?”
My heart seized, hating that her question was so close to my own hope and reminding me all over again that Henri hadn’t said yes.
“Has he hurt you in the past three weeks?” Rachel asked softly.
I caught her eyes. “He hasn’t laid a single finger on me.”
Rachel grabbed my hand. “That’s a good thing, don’t you see? The moment Victor left, he stopped. That has to mean he’s still on your side. That he’s still a—”
I clamped a hand over her mouth. “Don’t say that word again. Twice is already too much.” I shuddered, remembering my own voice echoing the word ‘cop’ thanks to Victor’s show-and-tell with the video recordings. “He’s not one. He’s never been one. And I think…” I swallowed hard. “I think it’s a risk to include him.”
“You do?” Rachel pulled away from my hand.
I wished it were different.
I wished Henri would return to goodness and light before it was too late, but…I had to be smart about this. I wouldn’t let my heart get in the way of my mind. My heart might be an idiot, but my mind had decided to get these jewels out.
They came before me.
They came before my scrambled feelings for Henri.
I wouldn’t jeopardise them for anything or anyone.
I dropped my arms and nodded. “He’s different. Ever since the night he carried Peter back here, he can barely look at me. He has the worst nightmares. He can’t cope unless he’s reading or typing. He…he isn’t the same man who targeted and claimed me.”
Mollie nodded. “See, Rach? It’s a risk that even Ily doesn’t want to take, and we both know she’s caught feelings she shouldn’t.”
I flinched but didn’t try to deny it.
Mollie continued. “He could tattle on us. We could all be killed by morning—”
“But what he did in that cave,” Rachel murmured, cutting Mollie off. “The way he looked at you, Ily. Victor has never looked at me that way. In fact, I’ve never seen any Master become completely unhinged at someone else touching their jewel. Most of the time they just laugh and watch. He’s possessive of you, and I think…I think if you could convince him that he could keep you, even if we managed to make a dramatic escape…he might help.”
“Keep me?”
“You know…if you agree to stay his no matter where you guys end up.”
I scowled and tapped my collar. “The minute this comes off, I won’t belong to anyone ever again.”
“I’m not saying you will.” Rachel scowled. “I’m saying just make him believe it.”
“Even if he did believe it. Even if I was the best actress in the world and convinced him we have a future together outside of here, he won’t buy it and he won’t go for it.” I shook my head. Hating that truth stung my tongue.
“Why? You’re the only one he wants. He hasn’t touched another jewel—”
“You heard him that day. If he leaves here, his brother will hunt him down. He won’t trade his life for ours. There’s just no way.”
“Maybe not our lives but yours…” Rachel whispered.
My heart skipped.
“And besides,” —she continued— “he and his brother are family, whether they like it or not. And family forgives each other. If you convinced Henri that you’d fallen in love with him—that you’d stand by him no matter what. That you’d protect him from his brother…he might help. Not to help us but to keep you all to himself. He hates the other Masters. He slaughtered two of them that day without even batting an eye. He shot us, not because he was thinking about winning a game and earning a few more jewels for his twisted pleasure, but so others wouldn’t lay a finger on us.”
Pressing one of the faded bruises on her arm where Henri had layered both of them in red paint, she added, “Peter was right when he said he saw something good in him. I saw it too. It might’ve only been for a second, but…no other Master would’ve carried Peter back for treatment.” Rachel took my hand with a warm squeeze. “No other Master would’ve gone to the lengths he did to protect you. He loves you, Ily—”
“He what?” I stumbled back. “No, he—”
“I don’t think he realises it himself yet, and I’m pretty sure he’d do whatever it took to prove otherwise, but…I think we could use him to get free…if you think he’s trustworthy.”
Loves me?
Ha!
My insides tangled at the thought.
Henri was many things. Kind in a dangerous way. Protective in a monstrous way. Messed up in every way. He couldn’t even say my name anymore. Couldn’t look at me, talk to me, touch me…
They’re wrong.
If anything, his unwillingness to have anything to do with love was the reason he was here in the first place. Even the offer of staying with him in the outside world wouldn’t be enough to make him rejoin it.
“What if he doesn’t agree?” I asked quietly. “What if he’s loyal to Victor and merely waiting for him to return?”
Rachel shook her head. “I think he’s loyal to you.”
“That’s a lot of thinking, Rach.” Mollie sighed heavily. “Know what I think? I think you’ve read too many romance novels.”
“No. I just have eyes.” Rachel sniffed. “I haven’t been immune to feelings in this place. Crap, a year into being Victor’s favourite, I truly thought I was falling for him. So yes, I admit I might not be the best judge of character. And bringing Henri into our little operation could backfire, but…you both said we need as many hands as possible. And I agree. The workload is immense. I want out of here before I’m seventy-five, so…we have to be prepared to use everything and everyone we can.”
Goosebumps scattered down my arms.
I hung my head, a confession springing free. “I admit it’s crossed my mind to ask him. It’s on the tip of my tongue every night when he looks so tormented and tragic, but…he hasn’t said much of anything to me since the night of Emerald Bruises. Each time I try to talk to him, he ignores me and acts as if he can’t stand me. Whatever you think you saw between us is over and—”
My throat closed up.
God, that hurt.
Admitting that all the cold rebuffs and lack of intimacy hadn’t been because he was sinking into places I couldn’t go but perhaps because he no longer felt anything for me.
“Test him out tonight,” Rachel murmured.
“Test him out?” I squeaked. “How?”
“Seduce him.” Rachel leaned closer. “Give him whatever he likes and make him confess how he feels about you. Depending on his answer, tell him what we’re planning or don’t. We trust you to make the call.”
I shivered. “And what if he doesn’t react the way we hope? What if the man who tried to protect us no longer exists?”
Mollie shrugged. “Then he’ll die with the rest of them.”
My entire body flinched.
We all paused for a long moment, mulling over our separate tasks.
Finally, I whispered, “I know we said we’d try to blow this place up while Victor and the Masters are gone, but…we’re nowhere near ready…are we?”
Mollie shook her head. “Unfortunately, no.” Her eyes glinted. “But…Christmas is always quiet here. Most of the Masters go back to spend the holidays with families and oblivious little children. Victor will probably be in residence, and I would very, very much like to kill him so…if we plan our siege for around then, we’ll stand the best chance.”
My mind raced.
I’d been here a month.
It’d been the end of June when I’d gone to Paris with Sam.
That means it’s August.
“So we have four months?” My throat closed up at the thought of enduring another four months in this place.
Then again, Peter had endured five years. Rachel three. Mollie who knew how long.
I could handle four months.
As long as we don’t get caught.
If everything goes to plan, we’ll be free in sixteen weeks.
And if you’re not?
I shut off that thought immediately.
Failure was not an option.
This Christmas, Victor would receive a present he never saw coming. A firework display explosive enough to burn his entire island down. And if luck was on our side and karma kept us safe, he’d never go hunting for jewels again.
* * * * *
“Have you asked him yet?” Peter murmured.
I nibbled on a piece of apricot shortcake May had given us when we’d huddled in the larder’s shadow four days later. Just Rachel, Peter, and me today. Mollie was busy making wicks in the slave quarters, hidden under her covers. Faiza had managed to sneak in three bottles of bleach, some pool chlorine, two bottles of pesticide, and even a bag of fertilizer pellets, courtesy of Willem, the gardener.
Our supplies were carefully tucked behind all the pasta, flour, and sugar boxes in the larder.
Peter leaned against the wall, his bandage-wrapped hands not as thick as that first day but still a nuisance. Passing him a napkin to protect his bandages, I gave him the rest of my shortcake.
He gave me a soft smile.
My heart surged with warmth, grateful for the friendship after the chilly few days I’d spent in Henri’s company.
I’d tried to seduce him.
I’d deliberately stepped out of the bathroom and dropped my towel by ‘accident’.
He choked and looked away.
I’d lain beside him and watched him type on that blasted laptop. I’d even touched his arm and sat up, leaning toward him like I had the night I’d been high on GHB.
He gritted his teeth and leapt out of bed.
He’d cradled his laptop and sat in the throne chair, resuming his frantic typing.
His grey eyes almost manic.
His skin etched with fine lines from lack of sleep.
For four awful days, I’d tried to get him to see me again.
To talk to me.
Touch me.
Fuck me.
And nothing.
He’d shut me out.
Cut me off.
Died right in front of me.
If he wasn’t typing, he had his nose in a book or his gaze on far-off places. He often woke me in the night, tossing and turning, muttering in his sleep before violently waking as if ready to attack some phantom.
The nights he shot awake covered in sweat, he slipped out the door and didn’t return until morning.
I’d followed him last night, my heart pinching as he made his way to the library and grabbed another book at random, diving into the pages as if it were an antidote to whatever poisoned his mind.
Pushing my worries away, I shook my head. “No, I haven’t asked him.”
“Why not?” Peter polished off the shortcake, his skin glowing a little healthier now that his fever had broken, and healing had progressed. Rachel stood beside him, her own skin glowing with pregnancy hormones, her dark hair extra luscious. The difference between being tortured every day and having three weeks of normalcy was blinding.
Looking back at Peter, I sighed heavily. “He doesn’t even notice me anymore.”
While Henri lost weight, Peter put it on. His eyes lost the desperate need to look after everyone. He still hobbled around with crutches and was confined to a chair or bed as much as possible—doctor’s orders as his feet continued to heal—but I’d been there the last time his bandages had been changed, and the difference in his soles and palms from the day in the cave to now couldn’t be compared.
“Oh he notices you, I can promise you that,” Peter whispered, careful of the cameras despite their lack of hearing. “You said he hasn’t touched you in weeks and it’s obvious. He looks like a man on death row every time I see him.”
Rachel added to Peter’s list. “You say he’s having nightmares and barely talks to you. Those are all signs of guilt, Ily.”
Peter interrupted, “He’s ashamed of what he’s done because he’s woken up and seen the light.” Lowering his voice, he muttered, “You need to give him a reason to fight again. To fight on the right side.”
“Peter’s right,” Rachel said. “It’s the shame that’s killing him. He needs a way to feel worthy.”
“Give him a way to redeem himself.” Peter crossed his arms.
I looked between the two of them and their seemingly planned attack. “I can’t believe you’re suddenly the president of his fan club.” I met Peter’s dark stare. “You said he’s the worst of the worst.”
“He is.” Peter nodded. “And we need the worst on our side. Besides…” He shrugged. “I can’t explain what I saw. But I know I saw something. Kyle helped Victor burn me. Kyle’s the reason Suri and Dane chose to be shot and why so many of us have been carved and are missing pieces. I would’ve been grateful to anyone who stopped that fucker, but waking up just as Henri was stabbing him? I thought he was a goddamn angel.”
I forced a smile even though my insides felt heavy. “You were on death’s door, Paavak. I’m not surprised you saw angels.”
He nodded. “I agree I hallucinated quite a bit at the end there. I thought you were burying me alive at one point—”
“We told you, Pete. We were dragging you out of the earth not pushing you into it.” Rachel rolled her eyes with a grin.
Peter glanced at his bandaged hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t wake to help you.”
Rachel smirked. “It would’ve been a help, not gonna lie. You’re skinny, but man, you’re heavy.”
He snickered.
My heart tangled with utter gratitude that my friends were okay even as I sank into a sea of confusion that Henri wasn’t.
Well, most of my friends were okay.
Five jewels had lost their lives.
The knowledge of that refused to soak into my brain, almost as if my system protected me from the sheer horror of their deaths.
When we were free, then we could mourn.
For now…we needed to focus on the living, not the dead.
At least the seven slaves that’d been healing were now back in the dormitory with the rest. Peter had resumed his position as shepherd, and each day the Masters stayed away, the jewels grew a little braver in tiptoeing into the kitchens looking for food.
Peter didn’t stop them as it covered our clandestine meetings. May and a few other cooks happily stuffed freshly baked croissants and delicious morsels into eager hands.
The guards got lazy and never stopped anyone. They watched. They followed sometimes. But no one told us no. No one electrified us if we went for a walk in the gardens or kept busy by helping other staff. I’d even heard Nancy and Rebecca had taken over looking after the chickens, spending all day out there.
The only one who seemed determined to die was Kirk.
His fight had ended with Suri.
He didn’t speak a word to any of us.
He stayed on his own, sleeping or sitting on the balcony with its black barred birdcage trapping him, denying him the chance to jump and join Suri.
He had the same hollow look in his eyes that Henri did.
I froze.
Henri...
Was that what the broken-hearted look was? A reflection of all the shattered pieces within?
Does he want to die?
He’d tried once before.
The scar on his leg revealed evidence of that desperation.
Could he…could he do it again?
Urgent fear. Terrible premonition.
God, how had I not seen it?
Before, this place was a playground for demons. Now, it was a heavenly holiday for the jewels.
Henri was the only demon left in their midst, and it showed.
Everyone ignored him.
The guards didn’t go near him, the staff stayed clear, and the jewels darted away if he came close. He acted as if it didn’t bother him to be so blatantly unwanted, but…every day, he retreated a little more, sank a little more, became a little less alive than before.
“I-I have to go.” I backed away.
Panic fizzled in my blood.
What if he’d done it?
What if he’d hurt himself all while I’d been too focused on escape to notice he’d fallen so far into his own imprisonment?
“You’re going to ask him?” Rachel arched an eyebrow.
“We’re running out of time,” Peter whispered. “We won’t be able to keep meeting like this when the Masters are back in residence. We’ll probably have hell to pay once Victor sits down and sees how often we’ve come into the kitchens. Hopefully, he’ll just think we’re being pigs and indulging in food while he’s not here to enforce his smoothie rule, but…we need to get everything locked away so we all know our jobs and can keep working without checking in with each other.”
I nodded. “I know.”
Stepping into me, Peter murmured, “Don’t be afraid of using him for your own ends, jaanu. You have to know how he feels about you. Use that to your advantage. Don’t let your goodness get in the way of manipulating him.”
I hid my shiver at the thought of being cruel enough to wield someone’s emotions for my own gain.
But…it wasn’t just about me.
My shoulders rolled and honesty spilled free despite myself. “I think whatever you saw the night he killed Kyle might’ve died in that cave too. He can barely look at me anymore and…and the truth is.” I looked down, unable to keep eye contact. “I asked him to play along with me the night of Emerald Bruises. I was as high as a kite and let my guard down. I practically begged him to choose me. I said if the guy who asked me to play along with him was still in there to play with me now.”
Peter sucked in a breath. “What did he say?”
“He didn’t say anything.” I looked up and stepped back. “And that’s the problem.”
Peter studied my eyes. His own gave too much away. Asking me to seduce Henri hurt him. His love for me exceeded the bounds of friendship. And every day he grew stronger, I feared he’d step over the line between us and force me to admit that I loved him as deeply as I did my brother, but…the tormented beast I slept with conjured a different sort of—
Not love.
Never that.
What I felt for Henri had no title, no definition.
It was just…ugh.
Kissing Peter’s cheek, I smiled at the girls and backed away. “Look, I’ll try again tonight. I’ll do whatever it takes to find out if Henri can be trusted. I’ll see you later.”
Slipping out of the kitchens, I broke into a run.
Henri would most likely be in the library working.
That would give me time to figure out how the hell I could get through to him…before it was too late.