Chapter Eighteen
………………………….
Henri
THE CURSE OF BLOOD I longed to drink it down.
My neck bent.
Our noses brushed.
So close.
So fucking close.
Stop!
I jerked back.
Kissing her wouldn’t kill her, but it would kill me.
I’d die from the want, the need, the heartbreaking desperation that made everything so damn hard. “Wait—”
“No.” Catching my cheeks with her luminous hands, she tugged my head down. “Do us both a favour and end it.”
“Ily, don’t—”
She kissed me.
A thunderbolt crashed.
She screamed.
She dropped to my feet, open-eyed and…dead.
Pain I’d never felt before crushed me.
Every memory. Every horror. Every loneliness.
Shadows shot down my throat.
Love broke me into pieces.
Ily’s corpse broke into light-bright fractures, shattering into stardust.
I dropped to my knees.
My heart turned to coal.
I howled—
“Henri! Henri!”
My eyes snapped wide.
Ily sat on top of me, her thighs straddling my waist, her hands shaking my shoulders.
S-She’s still alive.
I wasn’t responsible for my actions.
For the blistering thankfulness and motherfucking tears stabbing behind my eyes.
Just a nightmare.
Thank fuck, just a nightmare.
Jack-knifing up, I grabbed her around the waist and tossed her onto the bed. I rolled over her. Trapped her beneath me. Imprisoned her where she belonged. Where she would always belong.
With my mind completely gone and my heart utterly broken, I nuzzled her neck, kissed her cheek, then smashed my mouth to hers.
She froze.
She cried out.
She couldn’t stop me.
Another kiss.
Another stolen moment where I didn’t know which one of us would die.
My arms coiled around her until she gasped in pain.
Her slenderness, her heat, her strength—everything about her shattered the forcefield around my depressed-crippled heart, and I couldn’t do it.
Couldn’t handle loving this woman all while she hated me.
Couldn’t kiss this woman all while she accepted my abuse instead of fought me off.
As suddenly as I’d covered her, I ripped myself away.
Breathing hard, I shot out of bed and rubbed sleep and nightmares from my eyes. With trembling hands, I wrenched open the bedside table.
There.
Just where I’d left them.
Two birdcage cufflinks.
Snatching them into my fist, I charged for the door.
I ignored Ily’s sharp question about where I was going.
I did my best to shut down the sickness inside me.
As I bolted down the stairs, the evening came spooling back.
I’d ripped up the Diamond Kiss chit.
I’d left Ily before I could shatter and prowled around the castle all while a few early Masters reacquainted themselves with their chambers.
Victor hadn’t returned.
I hadn’t been summoned.
I’d waited until two a.m. before going back to her, grateful to find Ily asleep in our bed.
She’d faced my side.
Hugged my pillow to her chest.
I’d slipped under the covers and stared at her. I’d memorised every eyelash, then fallen asleep…
I shuddered.
My other nightmares had been of sisters I couldn’t save.
Mothers I’d abused.
They’d been absolutely agonising, but this one? This one tore me into motherfucking pieces.
She chose death over me.
She hates me.
I sucked in air.
I gagged on oxygen.
Smashing my way out of the fortress, I broke into a sprint toward the battlement wall. Moonlight splashed so bright, it lit up the gardens like a silver midday. Pewter shadows and monochrome grass blurred as I ran faster, faster.
She hates me.
Hates me.
Said my mind.
You love her.
Love her.
Said my heart.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
Begged my soul.
Only one person could do that.
Only one brother who’d promised to end me.
I was ready for peace.
I wanted it over.
Reaching the wall, I sucked in huge heaves of oxygen and searched for the cameras.
No blinking red lights.
No guards and their snipers.
With all my strength, I hurled the cufflinks over the wall.
Victor’s satellite probably covered this entire island.
The cufflinks would most likely never send out their coordinates.
But if there was a chance.
A minuscule, microscopic chance.
I needed to try.
Because…I’m done.
Come find us, brother.
Save her.
Kill me.
Find us both…
Dropping to my knees, I sucked in gulps of moonlight.
My final act on this earth would be to get Ily the fuck out of here.
And then…I could die and finally be free.