Chapter 39
CARLIE
“I’m not leaving her, Lawson. You go and sort it out. I’m not leaving.”
His blue gaze studies mine before he nods. “I’ll take care of it.”
I have Millie’s fine, frail hand wrapped in both of mine. She’s only been out of surgery a couple hours, and it’s six a.m. on Monday morning. The steady beep of the machines feeding her drip whir with a reassuring rhythm.
Apparently, our plan to fund Serenity with a gala and fly under the radar with our dirty little sponsor secret didn’t hold out.
Someone in the wealthy circles in attendance probably spilled. Hell, they wouldn’t even have known they were doing it.
Nobody knew the stakes for Serenity apart from Lawson and me.
I would go to bat for the House, I really would, but my priority lies in this hospital bed beside me.
This time, the cowboy will have to ride alone. I have full confidence he can salvage this. He’s a brilliant business manager and even better people person.
I keep repeating the thought over and over as Lawson dots a kiss to my forehead and walks from the room, off to face the firing squad alone.
I would feel bad, but my heart has already been ripped from my chest yesterday and now all I feel is . . . numb.
Scared and numb, if that’s at all possible.
I can’t take anything else. I can’t carry another load. For I would surely waver.
Not an option.
God, my thoughts are ridiculous. Probably the fact I’m running on twenty minutes of sleep. I sent Henry home around midnight, but I’m sure he’ll be back as soon as he’s allowed by the hospital staff.
Mills murmurs, her fingers flexing between mine. I turn on the hard hospital chair and pat her arm. “You’re okay, Mills. Just take it easy.”
She licks her lips, scrunching up her face as she squints and forces her eyes open. “Urgh, this place tastes like old socks.”
“I think that’s what happens when you sleep with your mouth open for six hours straight, my sweet.”
Her gaze settles on me, and she frowns. “You had those clothes on yesterday. You haven’t been here all night, I hope.”
“Where else would I be, Mills?”
“Lordy, sweetheart.” She tries to move and winces. “Not like I was going anywhere.”
That’s all it takes. The thought of her going someplace I can’t follow. Tears swell and fall instantly.
She swallows, squeezing my hand now in her upturned palm. “I wouldn’t leave you like that, I promise.”
Ugly sobs chug from my lips, despite the firm line I’m desperately trying to hold them in. I put it down to next to no sleep. My emotions are all over the place.
“Chin up, girlie. No tears for this old lady, you hear?”
“I was so scared. You . . .”
She tugs on my hand, and I stand and lean down to hug her. Her hand, the IV still lodged into it, rubs my back. Hell, I should be comforting her, not the other way around.
“Too many hours alone with your thoughts, sweetheart. That’ll do it every time.”
“I know,” I mumble, and she pats me like I’m the one who needs healing.
As I break away from her hold, she gives me a sad smile and tilts her head. “I love you more than life itself, Carlie Lamont, but I know this is more than just me laid up here. Spill it, girlie.”
“No, it’s not.”
Her brows fall. She gives me her ‘now or I’ll keep asking’ look.
“I can’t do it, Mills. I love him—god, so much. But I can’t do it.”
She studies my face for a moment, her eyes tightening as they line with silver. How long has she wanted this for me? Too long.
Hell, she took to Lawson like he was a son. He’d be the first she’s not interfered with, like this is the real deal and we’re not playing pretend anymore. Not like the casual flings and the few guys I brought home before I decided it wasn’t worth the risk.
“Which part in particular can’t you do? The bit where someone cares about you? The bit where someone has your back, all the time, no matter what? Or is it the bit where you hand over your heart, having to trust one last person?”
When I fall apart at her last words, we both know the answer.
The glass heart Mills bought me that day pops into my mind. Knowingly or not, she gave me the exact replica of how I see my own stupid heart. Hardened and fragile, all at the same time.
Only now, Lawson’s grip rests around it.
His hold. Whether that’s to keep it safe or wring the life out of it before he leaves, I guess, is the part I’m too terrified to face and find out.
I don’t believe in grand gestures.
Hell, not so long ago, I didn’t believe in love.
Chemistry and physical pleasure, yes.
Love, no.
My belief system is changing right before my eyes. As if the evidence of how wrong I have been simply keeps unfolding before me with this man.
I’m in awe.
I’m in disbelief.
I’m wholly out of my comfort zone.
“I know how hard it’s been for you to let people in. But honey, sometimes the heart recognizes what the head cannot understand. That boy isn’t built for your head, we all know you have that part mastered, he’s built for your heart.”
“God, Mills,” I say before sinking back into the chair and burying my face in her blankets.
“Besides, Henry and I are getting pretty serious. We’re going to need our own space, eventually.”
I chuckle through a sobbing breath. She smiles at me with tears in her eyes.
Look at us two.
Pair of mushy crybabies over two men who have turned our little existence on its head.
Half our luck.
With Mills comfortable and the day only just begun, I down a double-shot cappuccino and stride into the office. I’m hoping to catch Lawson before he’s called in to see Serelle.
But when I reach the fish tank, it’s empty.
Not just empty. It’s vacated.
What the actual hell?
His belongings, usually arranged so neatly on his desk, are gone. Bob wanders in with a box of what I assume are his office supplies. The smirk on his face when he claims Lawson’s desk makes my cappuccino reappear in my throat.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I snap, tossing my bag on my desk.
“Leveling up.” He puffs out his chest, running a hand through his greasy, almost nonexistent hair, the smirk not wavering in the slightest.
“Like hell.”
I storm from the fish tank. Where the fuck is Lawson, and why in Lucifer’s lair is Bob at his desk?
I march through the staff area, making a beeline for Serelle’s office.
Her door is closed as I round the corridor, and two guys sit in her office as she turns her laptop around, showing them something.
I pull the door open, not caring in the least as it hits the wall with a bang.
“I beg your pardon,” Serelle hisses.
“Where is he?” I growl.
“I assume you mean Lawson?”
I tilt my head, snapping my hands to my hips.
She sighs and the two stunned guys murmur as they rise from their seats and file outside. I close the door and lean on the desk. “What the hell is Bob doing in our office?”
“He’s your new assistant. I can only keep one exec, and apparently it was you.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to have to fill me in.”
“Like you and Lawson did when we lost our most significant sponsor?”
I lean on the desk, palms flat. “We made the executive decision to correct that before it became a concern. You know, what you hired us to do.”
Serelle clears her throat and stands. She gravitates toward the shelves lined with personal items and photographs.
“When I started Serenity, things were hard. Like really hard. I was young, female, and the cause was . . . well, let’s say not the most popular.
Nobody wants to soil their reputations with getting involved in the uglier side of humanity.
Not back then they didn’t, at least. It was a daily struggle to keep this place afloat and open as much as possible. ”
“But you made it. You’re still here.”
“Yes.” She turns to look at me. “We are. However, recklessness never served anyone well, and what you both did was reckless. So much so, now we no longer have the budget for the House. I should have let you both go. But Lawson wouldn’t hear of it.”
“You fired him!”
“He quit.”
My mouth gapes.
What? No.
“W—why?” I stammer.
“I guess he’s protecting his own,” she breathes, picking up a photo of her and a man. The man’s arm is slung around her shoulders. Their smiles are pure happiness.
“I don’t understand.”
“He quit so you could keep your job. He was protecting you, Carlie.”
“I thought there was no budget for either of us.”
She huffs a laugh. “That cowboy of yours is very resourceful. He promised to have the gap in funding filled within the hour. And he did. The Robbinses, as in Richard Robbins and his wife, have pledged the rest of our funding. Something about a good tax write-off. Honestly, I’m not concerned about their motivations, only the fact our doors will stay open. ”
“Ruby,” I utter, falling into the chair.
“If Bob isn’t a suitable assistant, I’m happy to swap him out with Nadia.”
Her words catch me off guard.
“Sorry, what?”
“Bob. He’s not the best at productivity. If you would prefer Nadia, I can make that happen.”
“Actually, I don’t think Bob has a place here at all.”
Her brows knit before she says, “What do you mean?”
“I think you should talk to Nadia and the other female staff. He has an unofficial rap sheet around here—of the sexual harassment kind.”
“Oh my god.” She sinks into her chair. “How long has this been going on?”
“You’d have to ask Nadia. Lawson found out first, but since he’s not here to be her buffer anymore . . .”
“Anything else that’s been happening right under my nose I need to know about?”
I want to tell her there was one workplace romance that developed in the last few months.
I want to tell her we should probably invest in a new copier for many reasons, and not just the one where—
“If you’re hesitating about mentioning you and Lawson, I’ll save you the angst, we all knew.”
Her serious expression flips to amusement as my own falls with surprise, heat filling my neck and face. “Oh.”
She laughs. “Carlie Lamont, PR extraordinaire, spitfire and hurricane all rolled into one. You know that’s why I hired you, right?”
“No?”
“You reminded me of myself when I was your age. And without that fire, this place would have died a quick death a long time ago.”
It’s all I can do to smile as every sentiment she lays between us hits.
Like purpose.
Like home.
“When I brought you two on, I had a little dream of retirement. Leaving the two of you at the helm. Me, sipping margaritas in the Bahamas. But now . . .”
“Now he’s gone.”
“He is.” Her expression is sad but empathetic.
“I—”
She holds up a hand. “Time will work it out. I trust your choices. I have from the start, but this place needs growth. And we needed Lawson to do that.”
“We both did.”
I don’t know why I said that, but it has me rising from the chair and through her door.
“Carlie?” she calls after me.
I turn back to find the older woman smiling, her hands laced under her chin, elbows propped on her desk. “Don’t ever lose your fire.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I find Nadia at her desk in the foyer, but Serelle calls her in a second later.
Serelle’s words take their toll. My eyes swell and blur, and I spin back, heading for the fish tank. I open the glass door and clear my throat. “Out!”
Bob leans back in Lawson’s chair. The fucking balls on this douchebag.
“Now,” I growl.
A crackle through the air turns to a whine, and we all freeze as the oldest PA system in existence fights to come to life around the office.
“Bob, effective immediately, you’re fired.
” Serelle’s deadpan tone echoes around the large room.
Every set of eyes homes in on the fat, balding man in Lawson’s chair.
“What the fuck did you tell her, you bitch?” He’s out of his chair and in my space a heartbeat later.
“Me? Nothing. Your ass has been officially handed to you by all the women in this office you preyed on. You did this to yourself.”
He raises a hand, balling it to a fist, as spittle flies and I dodge sideways.
I catch his wrist and kick the side of his knee, not taking my gaze from him as he crumples to the ground in a lumpy, bald, disgusting heap. “Get out, and do not come back.”
“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer,” he chokes as he pushes to all fours and then rises on wobbly feet.
“Excellent, a direct line to relay every sexual harassment and assault case to. You’re a gem, Bob, really.”
Cursing me out under his breath, he swipes up his box of shit and leaves.
Good fucking riddance.
I follow him out for good measure and slam the office front doors behind him.
A small chuckle slips out from behind me, and I spin back.
“I can almost taste those margaritas.” Serelle shakes her head and wanders back to her office.