Chapter 21
21
ASHE
Why she chose the rainiest, coldest night since we met to finally start locking her doors—I had no idea.
I stood out on her balcony in the drizzle, watching her for longer than a sane person would. She wasn’t herself, and I could tell that almost immediately.
By the time I had stumbled onto the balcony tonight, she was showered, dressed and splayed out on the living room floor surrounded by books, her computer, and a bottle of wine.
All the lights were on, though, when usually she operated off the dim, warm lamps that were scattered around the apartment.
After getting my fix of watching her blissfully unaware of my presence, I knocked on the glass door, knowing that she seemed far too on edge tonight for me to just break the lock and slide in.
And I was glad that I did. Because when I knocked on the balcony door, Zarina jumped.
She flinched.
Unaware that I was there for probably the first time in the history of my light-hearted stalking of the woman. But when her eyes settled on me, I watched as her body relaxed, almost crumpled in a way that made my chest hurt. It had me barrelling through the door as soon as she flicked the lock to let me in, and I pulled her hard against my chest.
I didn’t know what was wrong, but my hands still vibrated with the need to violently squeeze whatever or whoever it was that made her like this.
We stood like that for a little while with not so much as a greeting. I held her and she let me hold her, and then I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
I waited until she was the one to pull away, but when she did, I wished that she hadn’t.
Fuck, how pathetic I was for this woman.
She retreated back to the nest she had created without a word. I sat opposite her, crossing my legs as best I could so that I could fit into the small space without crowding her.
Zarina slid one of the open books towards me and pointed at a smiling portrait of a pimply-faced teen boy.
“Dreamy,” I nodded, glancing up at her.
She smiled, but it was half-hearted.
“That’s William Peck.”
I arched a brow.
The name didn’t ring a bell.
“He’s a member of The EA.”
Holy shit.
I took another look, but Zarina removed the book and replaced it with another one. A group of four lanky boys stood in front of a footy field, arms crossed and chests puffed. Shit-eating smirks on each of their fucking faces.
“That’s William,” Zarina pointed to the smallest, chubbiest of the teens. “That’s Dean White. That’s Joshua Stragg.”
Her sharp nail stopped on each of the boys’ faces for a moment, but she jabbed the point of the red-tipped nail hard into the face of the tallest, lankiest boy at the end of the pack.
“And that is Theo Lawe.”
I picked up the book, bringing it closer to my face to make out the blurry image of the boy.
“Theo as in babysitter Theo?”
Zarina nodded.
“I didn’t remember him at first. But Larissa mentioned William this afternoon. Apparently he’s been bragging about his little gang to anyone who will listen. I hadn’t thought of him in years, but hearing his name sparked the memory of him and Theo at school.”
I shook my head.
If it’s true, then it all checks out.
The arrogance and naivety of bragging about the criminal organisation you’re trying to start is pretty on par with trying to start a war between the two most dangerous organisations in Melbourne.
“Okay,” I scrubbed at the stubble on my jaw, throwing the book to the side for the moment.
Zarina had figured it out.
We didn’t know for sure, of course, and we’d have to confirm—but fuck, this girl was clever.
But right now, uncharacteristically, these fuckers were the last thing on my list of worries.
“We’ll deal with this later. But right now,” I leaned forward, wrapping my arm around her frame and dragging her onto my lap, “I need to know what is wrong with you.”
She scoffed a laugh, shaking her head like it didn’t matter, but I caught her chin between my fingers and forced her to look at me. Her lips popped open into a surprised little O, and my eyes scoured her expression for a hint.
“Tell me, darlin’. Please.”
I felt her softening a little in my lap, and she leaned a little more weight into me and let her shoulders slump.
God, my chest fucking stung at seeing her like this. Maybe no one else would notice the difference, and maybe no one else would see the subtle change in Zarina’s demeanour. But I had been watching her for weeks now. Obsessing over every smile, every laugh, every movement and change in expression.
I would place bets that no one but me would notice. But I would also place bets that Zarina would be the first person to notice if someone else was suffering.
“Theo,” she said eventually, and I tried my best not to begin throwing shit immediately.
“What did he do?” My voice wasn’t as calm and measured as I hoped it would be.
“This afternoon when he was driving me home…” she spoke slowly, and fuck, it took so much effort to keep the violence inside from rattling me. “He told me that he liked me.”
I nodded, staying quiet and waiting for her to continue.
And by the long pause that she took, I could tell that the story probably got much worse. Even though I was already ready to swing his jaw.
“I didn’t even reject him cruelly,” she shook her head and frowned through her confusion at the situation. “I was polite. I was kind. I didn’t laugh at him or make fun. I kept it light, you know?”
I forced myself to nod.
“And then he touched my leg, he pushed up my skirt and ran his hand up my thigh and between my legs. He touched my…” she huffed, cutting herself off and dragging a hand through her hair. “And I just fucking froze. I let him do it.”
I let out the slowest exhale I could manage, shutting my eyes for a second before flinging them open immediately because the image of him with his hands on her when she didn’t want them there was enough to make my eye twitch.
“I know it doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but?—”
“It is a big deal, Zarina.” I caught her chin between my fingers again. “You did not want him to touch you, and he touched you. That is a big deal. He is someone tasked to protect you, keep you safe. He betrayed that.”
She didn’t say anything, didn’t give anything away in her expression. She just kept looking at me with that look like she didn’t quite believe me.
I picked her up with me as I stood, placed her on the corner of the couch that I knew she liked and tucked her blanket over the top of her.
I put the bottle of wine within arms reach, and slid the remotes her way as well. Her phone was on the kitchen bench, so I snatched that up too and tucked it into her hand before placing a kiss on the top of her head and heading towards the front door.
“Wait, where are you going?” she called, scrambling upwards.
“I’m going to handle this. Right fucking now.”
I turned the handle and flung the door open a little harder than was probably necessary and was halfway out the door before Zarina’s broken, quiet little voice whispered from behind.
So quietly and so softly that I almost missed it.
So softly that I thought for a moment that she hoped I wouldn’t hear, like she didn’t want to have to say the words out loud.
“Please don’t go.”
That stopped me in my tracks and broke my heart all at once.
I looked back at her over my shoulder, the way that she was up on her knees, looking up at me with those wide eyes and pretty lips and wet cheeks. And for once, something won out over murderous rage.
I stepped back inside, locking the door behind me, not for me but for her, and scooped Zarina back up and into my arms.
I could always break his hands tomorrow.
But at that moment?
My girl needed me.
And I was beginning to think that I would base the rest of my life’s decisions around that fact.