Chapter 22
22
ZARINA
Ashe was already gone when I woke up.
Instead of his large body occupying the side of the couch which was slowly becoming his, there was a tray with a coffee, croissant, and a note.
Didn’t want to wake you as early as I had to leave. I’ll handle everything. I promise.
Ring me if you need anything.
- Ashe
Smiling to myself like an idiot, I took the takeaway cup of coffee into my hands. It was now lukewarm at best, and I wondered why he had to leave so early in the first place.
I had no idea about his everyday life, other than his newfound hobby of following me around. He worked at the tattoo studio most days, but even then, the place had no consistent hours of operation.
I could only assume that most of his days revolved around the MC, though I had no real idea of what that entailed.
After looking at my phone, I noticed the time but couldn’t muster the energy enough to rush around and get ready. I was going to be late, and I couldn’t really care.
Larissa had a key to the shop, and I knew that I could trust her to get everything sorted and open without me being there.
We’d fallen into an easy way of operating in our many years of working together. She would duck out early if given the chance, and I would often show up late.
Usually, I would not be stressing. But the two text messages from Theo on my phone made me more nervous than I would ever admit to anyone.
The whole leg-rubbing incident yesterday was mild compared to other things I’d experienced. Hell, it was nothing compared to what some women have faced.
But it was more so the energy behind the action, that subtle layer of whatever Theo was trying to silently communicate that made my bones ache with dread.
I did not want to see him.
He would already be waiting in the parking garage below. It would be impossible to avoid him. And it would be even harder to approach the interaction while also staying calm.
I am not a quiet woman.
I am not against putting men in their place.
I have yelled, I have slapped, I have barked at men who had made me or any of my friends uncomfortable. But Theo wasn’t some random guy in the club.
Theo was an employee of my brother and therefore dangerous. But I also had this new gut instinct that he was behind The EA somehow, which added a whole other layer of complication to the incident.
I tried ringing Toni three times, but he didn’t answer. I tried ringing Rome, and nothing.
And what would I say, anyway?
“Hey, I’m scared of the bodyguard you assigned me. Can I get a replacement?”
I knew my brother well enough to know that he would take me seriously if I truly had a problem with Theo, if I told him about the incident. But right now, we had a possible member of The EA right in the palm of our hands.
If I told Toni or Rome what had happened, they probably would’ve just shot him in the head before I had a chance to explain everything. But if they did, that opportunity to find out the truth would be gone.
If Theo really was a member of The EA like my intuition was telling me he was, then the smartest thing my brother could do would be keep him close.
Who knew mob life was so complicated?
No wonder my father greyed so early.
I considered just locking myself in my apartment and calling in sick, but I knew that Theo would just come up and let himself in.
With his key.
Fuck. He had a key to my apartment.
I rang Ashe.
The tone sounded once before he answered.
“What’s wrong?”
The concern in his voice warmed me, but it also had tears pricking at my eyes immediately. I realised then just how alone I had felt all my life. Just how much I had been disregarded by almost everyone.
Sure, I was the baby of the family, the princessa that everyone had to protect. But what about when I didn’t need protection? What about when I just needed reassurance, someone to talk to, a fucking break from everything?
“I don’t want to get in the car with him,” I said, and Ashe grunted in response.
“I don’t want you getting anywhere near him.”
“He’s downstairs already, Ashe. He’ll know if I leave.”
“Shit.” I could hear the rumble of his bike in the background, along with the sound of general highway noise. He must’ve been on the fucking side of the road somewhere.
“I can’t get to you right now, darlin’. Not quick enough anyway.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s okay. I’ll figure it ou?—”
“No,” Ashe cut me off. “I’ll send one of the guys to come and pick you up. Can you get onto the street without passing him?”
“I can exit through the front lobby instead of the garage.”
“Do that. Get to that little 7-Eleven on the corner and wait by the doors so you can head inside if he finds you.”
“It’s okay, Ashe. I just don’t want to see him, but I don’t think he’d actually hurt me.”
If Theo was undercover for The EA, the last thing he would want to do would be blow his cover. I could only assume that he probably would’ve been on his best behaviour if I did decide to confront him, but I just didn’t want to.
That may have made me difficult, or made me a brat—but everything inside of me was screaming to avoid the man at all costs.
“Yeah, well I’m not taking any fucking chances.”
I put a hand over my mouth, rubbing back and forth as I took a shaky inhale.
God.
This man.
“Okay,” I said, but it came out as a whisper.
“Head down to the shop, Princess. Let me organise somebody to come get you. I’ll wait here with my phone until I know you’ve been picked up. Okay?”
“Okay,” I repeated. “Thanks Ashe.”
He didn’t reply, he didn’t say anything else.
We stayed like that on the phone for a little while longer, neither of us saying anything, before I hung up and finished getting dressed.
As I headed out into the hall, I could hear the whir of the elevator working and my heart dropped into my stomach. I didn’t know if it was Theo coming, but I didn’t want to find out either, so I headed for the stairs and sprinted down and down as fast as I could.
I took a moment to compose myself before heading into the lobby of the building, trying to not look like a panicked mess.
There was only one woman in the hallway, checking her mailbox, and I offered the familiar lady a smile before heading out into the cool air.
The skies were grey, as they so often are in Melbourne, but today felt a little ominous. Maybe it was just my already heightened nerves, or maybe it was the brewing storm over the ocean that made everything feel a little more charged than usual.
But either way, my skin prickled and my senses were on high alert. Every sudden sound, every casual glance from a stranger made me nervous, when usually I barely watched where I was going while I walked around the city.
I hated Theo even more in that moment for making me feel this way.
I quickly got to the 7-Eleven closest to my apartment, and lingered by the doors just like Ashe had said. There was a small garden ledge by the shop’s entrance, and I leaned against it and got comfy. But I didn’t have to wait long at all.
Moments later, the conforming hum of the slow-moving traffic was cut by the sound of a guttural, rumbling motorcycle engine. I stood, immediately feeling a decent weight of the tension easing from my shoulders.
Then two familiar looking bikes mounted the sidewalk, pulling up right in front of me. Prince pulled a spare helmet from under a net and handed it to me as Freddie watched our surroundings with his head on a swivel.
I clasped the helmet tight under my chin and hopped on the back of Prince’s bike, snaking my arms around his torso and clasping my hands together like a makeshift seatbelt.
He pulled his phone out from the pocket of his cut and put it to his ear.
“We’ve got your girl, Henny. She’s fine,” he said quickly, before hanging up and taking off down the street, weaving in and out of the traffic that stood still.
* * *
I didn’t know when I became so comfortable around these men. But when we eventually pulled up at the clubhouse, I wandered inside and took a stool at the bar without a second thought.
There was no more lingering fear or suspicion. The knowledge that these guys were technically my enemies was a far off memory that didn’t feel so real anymore.
Instead, I felt that tension that had been rising and ever-present all morning had faded, knowing that I was surrounded by them.
I felt safe.
I felt protected.
And most of all, I felt at ease and comfortable.
When Freddie pulled up a stool next to me and silently scrolled through his phone, I started to feel that familiar stinging in my eyes. The casual familiarity of it felt a lot like what my own family gatherings used to be like. But they felt so distant now.
Now I had this.
Prince rounded the bar, retrieving a few cans of drink from the fridges and passing them out with what I was starting to worry was a semi-permanent worried frown. He handed me a lemonade, and sipped at one himself.
“I’m sorry, you know,” I sighed eventually. “That you guys had to come out all that way and get me. I feel a little silly.”
“Zarina,” Prince scolded in a fatherly tone. “This is what we do for each other. You could’ve called any of us, and we would’ve come.”
Freddie didn’t say anything, but nodded his agreement.
“I guess I knew that.” I offered a half-hearted smile, because it was true.
A melody of different sounding engines rumbled in, the gravel crunching and popping under the tyres as the others screamed into the lot.
I spun around in the stool just as Ashe burst through the heavy wooden door, shoulders drawn up and face a heated shade of red.
Fuck, he was beautiful.
His eyes scattered about the room before softening as they landed on me, and I wished that I could’ve replayed that moment over and over again. I had never felt like this before, I had never felt like I was someone’s peace.
Usually, I was a cyclone, a chaotic storm that came in and wreaked havoc before disappearing into the ether again. And here I was, expecting him to run, to hide and take shelter. But there he was, looking at me like I was sunshine instead of a storm.
Ashe crossed the space between us in a few long strides, flanked by Charmer and Bull whose presence I barely noticed. He took my face in his big hands and pulled me to him, kissing me hard on the lips without a second thought or any concern for his friends who surrounded us and openly watched the public display of affection.
I let my eyes flutter shut, letting him envelop me and letting myself soften. I was never in any real danger. I wasn’t hurt. But the relief in his eyes told me that he wasn’t so sure of that until he saw me.
The rest of the men let us have a few sweet moments before the chatter began.
“Jesus, Henny. Get a fucking room.” Charmer elbowed Ashe in the ribs.
Ashe pulled away, still smiling down at me and ignoring his friend.
“Good to see you here, Captain,” Bull smiled down at me, ruffling my hair in that brotherly fashion a little as he walked past.
We spent a quiet afternoon together.
Me and all these bikers that I had somehow befriended. Freddie brooded, but remained close by at all times. Bull was sweet and attentive, acting as if I were injured or badly bruised, fetching drinks and snacks for me without having to request them. Charmer cracked jokes, and I caught on pretty quickly that he was uncomfortable with any type of seriousness or bleakness. Prince listened to everything I had to say, with that kind of look in his eyes that told me he was paying attention.
This quirk of his was almost unsettling in a way, but I could tell that everyone else seemed to react the same way to his heavy gaze. He made everyone at the table feel heard, and if he didn’t understand, he would ask questions instead of glazing over a topic.
And Ashe didn’t leave my side.
Every now and again, I caught him looking at me with pinched brows and his eyes full of warmth. He would nudge me if I went quiet, draw me into conversations if I ever got that far-away look in my eye. He would ask for my opinion on things that I had no right giving my opinion on.
With every kindness that these men showed me, I grew closer to the brink of tears.
“You have no fuckin’ idea what it’s like, man.” Charmer stabbed an accusatory finger in Ashe’s face, wearing an offended scowl.
“And I have no interest in ever finding out!” Ashe chuckled in response.
“Yeah, right,” Charmer scoffed.
“Charm, I promise you,” Ashe’s frustrated groan followed. “I have no intention of ever riding my bike naked.”
All he got in response was a roll of Charmer’s eyes, but everyone else was looking at him with a look of utter confusion, mixed with probably a little bit of disgust. I, however, was trying my best not to fucking sob with laughter.
An ache formed in my stomach.
I wanted my family.
And, like he read my fucking mind, moments later, Antoni kicked down the door, all guns blazing.
“Zarina!” he yelled with a wobbly voice, worry and anger mixing in his almost black eyes. He was flanked by Rome, Sammy, and a few others.
I stood immediately, and I felt the bodies around me shift as well.
Ashe, Prince, Freddie—all of them stood behind me.
“Toni,” Prince was the one to speak first. “I don’t recall extending an invitation.”
But Toni’s eyes were on me, eyebrows pinched and heavy.
“What are you doing here?” Toni almost whispered, like it pained him to even speak.
“I-I didn’t know where else to go.”
His eyes widened. “What do you fucking mean?”
“I tried calling you!”
“Are you okay?” Rome asked, assessing my body like I might have been injured.
“Theo called and said you were missing . I’ve been worried fucking sick.”
“I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t?—”
I cut myself off then.
Because that’s when I noticed that Theo was among the men crowded behind Antoni. Before I fully registered his presence, Ashe was moving, stalking across the floor and reaching into the group of men to pull Theo out and to the front and centre by his neck.
A flurry of movement happened on both sides as Bull moved to usher me behind him. Guns and knives alike were pulled, though no one did anything. The confusion on everyone else’s faces was clear.
Ashe continued to throw Theo around like he was a ragdoll, and bent him backwards over the bar until his feet barely touched the ground. It was then that he pulled his own gun, pressing it to Theo’s temple.
“You lay your fucking hands on her again and I will remove them, you piece of shit,” Ashe hissed through gritted teeth.
“Wait, what?” Theo had the nerve to look confused.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Antoni barked, holding his gun up and away from anyone as a show of good faith.
It didn’t sway Ashe though, who was still trembling with rage and fighting against Theo’s resistance.
“I think we should speak alone, Toni.” It was Prince’s calm voice that cut through the rest, and he and Toni shared a silent moment of something that I must have missed.
My brother nodded once, gesturing with his chin for the rest of his men to leave.
“Henny, enough,” Prince urged quietly, which still didn’t snap him out of it.
Freddie let out a frustrated sort of huff, before stepping forward and dragging Ashe off of Theo by the scruff of his shirt. Ashe didn’t do much to resist, but still watched Theo with a violent scowl until he was moving towards the door.
Theo shot me one curious frown, and that was all he was allowed before it was Prince’s turn to snap.
“Out!”
Everyone shuffled out except for Toni and also Sammy, who stayed stubbornly planted in place, looming behind Antoni with crossed arms and worry in his eyes. He had always been the softy. Had always been the one to worry more than he would ever admit.
And I didn’t want him here to hear what I was about to say.
“I want Rome, too,” I choked out.
She paused at the door when she heard her name, eyebrows creasing. Her eyes slid over to Prince, silently asking permission to stay as well, and he nodded.
The weight of it all was too much.
The guilt. That lingering feeling that maybe I just overreacted. That feeling that maybe if I had just kept my mouth shut none of this had to happen. That feeling that all these people were now fighting because of me.
Really, was the incident bad enough that it was worth all this drama? Was I worth all this drama?
I wasn’t sure anymore. And I wished I had just kept it to myself and moved on.
Prince gestured to an empty table with a tilt of his head, and Toni moved towards it after a beat of hesitation.
“Come on, Zar,” Freddie ushered me towards the seat as well. His hand lingered behind my back, but he never touched me.
Prince, Freddie, Toni, Rome, and myself sat in the booth that I sat in that first night I came here.
Ashe paced a little while longer before sliding in next to me and giving me a quick, reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Toni didn’t miss the action, eyes flickering towards Ashe’s hand and then back to my face.
“What’s going on with you, Zar?” Antoni breathed the question out quickly, like he was desperate for an answer. “Please talk to me.”
I blew out a breath, because I didn’t really want to explain myself. It was awkward enough to talk about, let alone to my brothers. And after all the chaos, I was left feeling a little bit silly.
“It’s not that serious,” I shrugged.
“Don’t do that,” Ashe scolded, cutting me off. “It is serious. Tell him what happened.”
I looked up at Ashe, his eyes so full of patience, warmth, and care, that I had to pull myself together a little afterwards. All I wanted was for this situation to go away, to rewind and pretend it never happened.
But I turned back to Toni, crossing my arms over myself.
“Yesterday,” I spoke slowly, not wanting to speak at all. “Yesterday, when Theo was driving me home, he… he told me that he liked me.”
Toni’s jaw flexed, but he only nodded, urging me to go on. I was half expecting an eye roll from him. I was half expecting him to tell me that I should expect that for being such a flirt.
But he didn’t.
“I told him I wasn’t really interested, you know? And then he, uh…”
I tipped my head from side to side, delaying the words I knew I had to say. Ashe’s big, warm hand landed on my knee, giving it a small squeeze.
“Then he put his hand on my leg. He pushed it all the way up and under my skirt. He tried to touch me… other places,” I cringed at myself.
Fuck. I did not want to be talking about this to my brothers right now.
“I told him to stop and he laughed at me.”
Toni closed his eyes, but Rome looked at me with that expression of understanding.
I knew that she would get it. I knew that she would know exactly how I was feeling. But it didn’t make me feel any less silly saying it out loud.
“I know it’s nothing, but?—”
“It’s not nothing , Zarina,” Toni snapped.
“Thank you for telling us,” Rome nodded, reaching out to take my hand into hers.
“Now, I’m going to go kill him myself. Excuse me, gentlemen.” Toni sighed, pushing up from the table.
“Wait,” Ashe held up a hand. “Please, Toni. There’s more.”
Antoni frowned down at him, worry washing over his features as he shakily sat back down in the vinyl seat.
“Not with me,” I reassured him, watching him visibly relax. “But it’s the reason I wanted to talk to you in person about this.”
“Did Theo happen to tell you about my request for a meeting?” Ashe asked.
Toni shook his head and frowned. “No.”
Ashe and I shared a look.
Of course he didn’t pass the message along to Toni. Of course he wouldn’t want to risk the Redliners and The Santinos having a sit down and possibly discovering that they weren’t the ones attacking each other.
“What?”
“Zarina is the one who figured it out. I think she should be the one to explain.”
Toni’s eyes dragged back towards me, and I could see that he was nervously bouncing his knee under the table.
“Do you remember William Peck?” I asked.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek, but eventually shook his head. But Sammy, still lingering by the door, snorted a laugh.
“I remember that little fucker,” he said, drifting closer to the table. “He was in Valerie’s class. Gave her shit all the time.”
Toni pursed his lips, but nodded for me to continue.
“Well, Larissa ran into him a few weeks ago. He tried to impress her with his new ‘ venture’ . The East Allies.”
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, opening it up to where I had snapped the photo of all four boys together. I slid it across the table to Toni, and Sammy leaned down to look at it too.
“Holy shit,” Sam whispered.
“Fucking Theo,” Toni groaned, running his hands down his face.
Rome leaned over to glance at the photo, scrunching her nose at the sight. “Dweebs.”
Charmer barked a laugh at her comment, and then all eyes were on him.
There was a slight prickle in the air in that beat of silence, and I knew that I wasn’t the only one who had frozen still, waiting for her reaction. But then Rome chuckled too, offering an easy smile.
Toni didn’t like it.
That made me laugh.
“All these dudes are fucking loaded, Toni,” Sammy shook his head.
“It all makes sense,” I shrugged. “All these attacks, they’re not from fucking seasoned criminals.” I kicked Toni’s shin playfully under the table. “These attacks are from little rich boys trying to be a Santino.”
Antoni smiled down at me, looking more big brother than mafia don.
They would never be us.
They would never come close.
“So you think Theo is undercover?” Toni asked, leaning in.
I nodded.
“We think they’re trying to pit us against each other. Start a war. Dwindle numbers on both sides so we wipe each other out and they can keep their hands clean,” Ashe added.
“I didn’t want to tell you about Theo yet because I thought you might want to keep him close for now, until you come up with a plan. Once he knows he’s been found out, they might change their plans or make a more drastic move.”
Antoni blinked at me.
“That’s a good idea,” he nodded with a frown.
“She’s a clever girl, Toni,” Ashe added in my defence, and I elbowed him in the ribs. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks at his off-handed compliment.
“I know that,” Toni bit back. “But I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like I think otherwise, Zar.”
I shrugged, trying to pretend like my chest didn’t burn with the reassuring sentiment. I guess it was something I had wanted to hear for maybe my entire life, but I wouldn’t let him know it.
Not right now, anyway.
“We’re ready to help in any way we can,” Prince steered the conversation into more serious territory, and I was a little grateful for it.
Toni sighed, and I watched as his walls of defence came back up.
“Look,” he said, “I believe everything you guys are saying. Okay? But, you understand that I’m going to have to confirm these suspicions first. Make sure you guys aren’t just bullshitting me and using my sister to do it.”
“Tone—”
Antoni held up a hand to cut me off, but it wasn’t as harsh as it usually was.
“Please, Zar. I’m not saying that’s what I think is happening, but I need to do some digging of my own before I make any decisions or truces that end up biting me in the ass in the future.”
“Trust but verify,” Ashe added.
Antoni considered him for a moment before offering him a half-hearted grin. “Exactly.”
I nodded, “I understand.”
“I promise you, Theo will be dealt with regardless. But surely you understand that I struggle to trust the words of Redliners.”
Prince stood at that moment, and I tensed, thinking that the older man was about to punch my brother square in the jaw—but he didn’t.
Instead, he held out a hand in offer of a shake.
“I understand, Don Antoni,” he nodded, and Toni took his hand and shook it. “But please know,” his voice grew lower, gravelly, and almost desperate, “I am nothing like King.”
Toni regarded Prince for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he believed him. Then he dipped his chin, quickly, sharply, before turning his eyes back to me.
“Are you coming with us?”
I opened my mouth, but looked at Ashe, who offered me an encouraging smile and a nod.
“I can pick you up later, if you like,” he grinned. “Maybe just swing by the apartment?”
He meant break in to my apartment, I knew it by the way he smirked. But I wasn’t quite sure I could correct him in front of my brothers without another almost-murder happening. So I rolled my eyes, pushing him off the seat so I could stand.
“Thanks again, guys,” I rounded the table to pull Prince in for a hug—which he stiffened at. Freddie was even worse, and almost fell off his seat just to try and avoid the gesture.
“Cya later, Captain,” Bull accepted my cuddle immediately and without argument.
Ashe watched with a contented smile, his arms crossed.
“Bye Henny .” I pinched his cheek roughly, shaking him a little bit, just to be a dick.
He glared down at me while I did it, an amused sort of irritation in his eyes flashing that made me excited for whatever punishment he was coming up with in his head. He caught my wrist in his big hand, holding it still and snaking an arm around my waist.
Ashe was being more respectful than I knew him to be, probably because of my two large brothers and even more intimidating sister-in-law standing close by, and his hands never wandered.
But he did press a kiss to my cheek, close enough to my ear so he could whisper, “You’re just begging for my hand around your throat, aren’t you Princess?”
I pressed my thighs together, praying that he couldn’t feel just how much it was true.