Chapter 4
Quinn
DO YOU HAVE ANY CANDY?
Good God.
This scowling man could be an underwear model, and he’s in my apartment. Looking at me like he might be interested in what’s beneath my clothes. I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing what’s beneath his. After all, if he is an underwear model, he should show me what brand he’s wearing, at least.
It’s obvious from his well-fitted, perfectly pressed clothing and expensive watch that Xander and I come from two completely different worlds. In his, I doubt he eats out of a plastic bowl that he bought from the discount store, but if it bothers him, he doesn’t show it.
He takes a bite of the cheesy bowtie noodles and then nods, like he approves, and a tingle of excitement runs through me.
“You need to eat, too,” he says with a raised brow that leaves no room for argument.
Sheesh. He’s certainly bossy, isn’t he? First, he was all pissy about my door not being locked, and now he’s telling me to eat. Control freak much?
But, like the good girl I am, I pick up my bowl and take a bite of my non-cheesy noodles.
We stare at each other, both of us leaning against the counter opposite each other. It’s strangely comfortable while awkward at the same time. Tension swirls between us, and I want to ask so many questions, but the way Xander seems so shut down and closed off keeps me from speaking.
We’re almost finished with our meals when I paste on a bright smile, looking past his ear instead of meeting his gaze. “Would you like something to drink? I really only have water, but I have some ice to put in it.”
Don’t be embarrassed, Quinn. It’s not your fault you’re broke.
When he doesn’t say anything for a long moment, I finally glance at him, and as soon as our eyes lock, he holds my stare. “Water would be great. Thank you.”
His small smile feels like a reward of some kind, so I return it with a real one, then go about getting him a drink.
“You said you’d been waiting for that check from your old boss. Did you change jobs recently?” he asks.
I pause for a second, irritation creeping over me as I think about Lonny.
“No, not exactly. I was fired because the creepy owner tried to feel me up, and I punched him. From what I’ve heard from my friends who still work there, he had a big black eye for almost two weeks.
I’m pretty proud of myself for that. I just wish I could’ve gotten a picture of it. ”
“Excuse me?” His voice is low and threatening.
A shiver works its way down my spine as I turn to hand him the water. He takes it from me and sets it on the counter with a loud thud, making me jump.
Shrugging, I smile up at him. “It’s fine. It was a shitty place to work. I’m glad to be out of there. I already got another job anyway.”
So, now I’m back up to three jobs, but I don’t think this stranger needs to know that. Something about Xander makes me think he wouldn’t approve of how much I work.
He takes a step toward me, his blue-gray eyes burning into mine. “It’s not fine. A man touching you without your permission is never fine. Do you understand me, sunshine? Don’t make this less than it is. I’m glad you punched him, though in my opinion, he shouldn’t be breathing right now.”
Whoa. Okay, that… escalated quickly. This guy is intense.
I open my mouth to tell him again that it’s not a big deal, but I snap my lips shut at the last second.
In the beginning, when Lonny’s advances were only verbal, I told Jason about it.
He laughed and told me the guy must pity me.
I went to bed crying that night. And now, I think I might have to go to bed with an extra set of batteries for my vibrator because of how Xander is reacting to it. Protective and pissed. It’s hot.
“I asked if you understand.”
The growl in his voice makes my nipples pebble, and when his gaze flicks down to them, I know he’s noticed, too. That’s what I get for wearing a lace bra, I guess. Not that I was expecting company.
Parting my lips, I suck in a breath, then nod. “Yes, sir.”
Oh my God. Did I just call him sir? I didn’t mean to. Not really. He’s just so commanding, it slipped out. And I liked it. A lot.
He stares at me for a long second, his pupils dilating, eyes searching. Then, as if something dawns on him, he straightens and takes a step back. Almost like a mask slips into place, his jaw tics, and his expression hardens.
“Thank you for dinner. Keep your door locked from now on, Quinn.” Without another word, he turns and strides out of my apartment. Once again, I’m left alone, wondering what the hell just happened. And I have no idea where Xander actually lives.
Every step is more painful than the last as I make my way through the casino of The Obsidian.
I really need to soak my feet between jobs, but there’s no time for that today.
Thanks to one of my very wealthy regulars at Onyx, the bar I work at inside The Obsidian, I can go to my mom’s care facility and get her bill caught up.
“Quinny! Hey, girl, how are you doin’?” Trey, one of the valet guys, smiles at me as he jogs over.
I grin at him and give him a brief hug when he approaches. “Hey, I’m good. Thanks. Just about to run an errand and then head over to Luxe for an evening shift.”
Trey smiles, his gaze tracking the line of cars coming and going. “You work too hard, Quinny. One of these rich gamblers is going to sweep you off your feet at some point, and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh at him, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “I don’t need a rich man. Haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’? I just want someone to make me the center of his world. Is that too much to ask?”
My phone pings, letting me know the car I ordered is about to arrive. Normally, I’d take the bus, but since my time is limited today, I’d rather pay fifteen dollars for a car service than clock up another hundred-dollar late fee.
As soon as my ride pulls up, Trey opens the back door and grins as I climb in. “It’s not too much to ask. Don’t ever settle, Quinny. You’re a twenty out of ten. Have a good rest of your day. We’ll have drinks soon, yeah?”
Nodding, I give him a double thumbs-up before he closes the door and takes a step back, then goes jogging off to the next approaching vehicle.
Trey and I have worked at The Obsidian together for three years.
We started on the same day and became instant friends in the most boring orientation class.
In that time, Trey has married his husband, bought a house, gotten a dog, and now they are adopting a baby.
All the while, my entire life has imploded, but he has been there for me every step of the way.
It’s so difficult to find loyal friends like Trey and his husband, Zach, but somehow, I lucked out with them.
I can hardly wait to tell them all about my meeting with Xander.
Maybe if I tell somebody about him, I’ll stop thinking about him so much, since that’s all I’ve been doing the past two days.
The ride to the facility is quick, and when I walk in, the receptionist smiles kindly. “Hi, Miss Summers. Here to see your mom?”
Forcing a matching expression, I give a tight nod. “Yes, but I can’t stay long. And I need to see Mike, please.”
She buzzes me in and picks up her phone, probably to let Mike know I’m here. My shoulders tighten as I walk through the doors into the community room where the residents spend most of their time.
Swallowing thickly, I scan the space and spot my mom in a corner, staring out a window, her eyes blank, like always.
The same lump that always forms when I come here lodges in my throat as I make my way to her.
I try not to resent her. I try not to hate her.
When I don’t have to face her, it’s easy to forget some of the feelings that are always festering inside. It’s a lot tougher when I’m here.
“Mom.”
She looks up at me, but there is no recognition. No light in her blue eyes. The drugs took that. The men who abused her. The streets of this city. They took it all. And even though I know addiction is an illness, I still blame her. I blame her for choosing all of that over me. Every single time.
My pulse starts to race as the anger I keep suppressed begins to rise, and panic clouds my vision. I can’t do this today. I just can’t.
“I was stopping by to pay the rent, and then I’m heading back to work. I wanted to say hi, though.” I smile at her, hoping she doesn’t hear the edge in my voice or the way it shakes as I speak.
“Do you have any candy?”
Drugs.
My heart squeezes so tight that I let out a choked sob.
From what the facility told me, she’s been clean since her last overdose a few years ago, which resulted in a stroke that caused permanent brain damage.
She doesn’t ever seem to recognize me when I visit.
Only twice have I thought she knew who I was, but she didn’t say my name or mention anything about me being her daughter.
Yet she remembers that she wants drugs. And that’s like a knife to the chest.
Shaking my head, I turn away so she can’t see my tears, even though she’s no longer looking at me. “I’ll see you next time, Mom.”
When I’ve nearly made it to the door, she speaks again. “Bring me some candy next time.”
My steps slow at her words, but I don’t stop moving until I’m outside the security doors. As soon as I’m in the lobby, I let out a shaky breath as the tears begin to fall.
“It’s nice to see you made time for your mother,” Mike snaps from behind the reception desk.
Fuck.
The last thing I need is for this asshole to see me crying. He’d probably get off on that.
Quickly wiping my eyes, I stand taller, which doesn’t do anything since Mike towers over me. I hope he never speaks to the residents because he’s obviously not a people person.
“Yeah, well, I’m in between shifts, but I wanted to come by to pay my mom’s rent.”
Mike motions for me to follow him into his office, so I have to practically jog to keep up with him.
It’s awesome for my already sore feet. When he rounds his desk and sits down, I dig into my purse and pull out all the money I have to my name.
“Here’s the five thousand for her rent, and then seven hundred additional for the late days. ”
I don’t need any extras for the next few weeks.
And groceries, who needs them? Obviously not me, since I can’t afford them this week.
Thank goodness I make tips every shift, so I always have some sort of cash flow.
But I also have to start saving for next month’s rent.
Mine and my mom’s. It’s a never-ending vicious cycle.
“And what about the three months’ owing balance? You’re accruing one hundred dollars a day on that, too, so it would be in your best interest to pay it quickly.”
What?
No. No.
No.
That wasn’t what we discussed.
Right?
The one-hundred-dollar-a-day late fee he added was only supposed to be for this month. It will take me forever to come up with fifteen thousand dollars for her back-dated rent.
Shaking my head, I swallow, my heart suddenly pounding. “I can’t afford that.”
He shrugs and eyes me in a way that makes my skin prickle. “From the looks of your little get-up here, you’ll be earning it in no time.”
This motherfucker.
This is my mom’s home. I don’t want to take care of her.
That reminder makes me clench my jaw and force a smile. “I’m a bartender, and I do have to get going to my next shift. Is there anything you can do about that late fee? I’m trying, Mike. All of this landed in my lap when I got the call from you.”
Until that phone call, I had no idea whether my mom was dead or alive. I also didn’t care. The woman tried to give my virginity to her drug dealer to pay off her debt. I was only sixteen at the time.
“Sorry, Quinn. Like I said the other day, you’re welcome to take your mother home with you if you’d prefer.” He turns his attention back to his computer. “Close my door on the way out.”
Even if I wanted to say something else, there’s no way I’d be able to without sobbing, so I turn and leave, ignoring his door completely.
That will show him.
Fuck.
No, it won’t.
It will only make things worse.
Stopping mid-step, I reach back, grab the knob, and pull it closed, hating myself for being such a fucking pushover.
By the time I get into a car to head to Luxe for my evening shift, my face is a mess, and one of my lashes is almost falling off. Thank goodness I carry my entire makeup bag with me when I’m working, since I usually need to touch it up between my shifts.
Using a cotton swab, I dab my eyes and clean myself up, then start reapplying as best as I can while the driver speeds through traffic like he’s trying to win a race or something.
At least he leaves me in silence to stew over the last hour of my life while I swipe on my favorite red lipstick that’s called Petty Is My Favorite Color.
I think I love the name of it as much as the actual shade.
Maybe I need to learn to be pettier. Show Mike what it feels like.
He already hates me, so it’s not like it would change anything.
As we arrive in front of Luxe, I zip my bag up and give the driver a bright smile. “Thanks! Have a great night!”
He nods. “Good luck in there. Hit it big.”
I want to tell him I’m here to work, not to gamble, but he seems impatient, so I don’t say anything.
It’s Vegas. Someone will win big tonight, but unfortunately, it won’t be me.