Chapter 20
She didn’t see what I was doing.
I would’ve noticed her there.
She was too busy paying attention to Doodle.
I try over and over, in vain, to reassure myself that Belle didn’t catch me jerking off by the barn like some kind of horse pervert as I walk from my cabin to the main lodge.
It’s faster to cut through toward Dawn’s house and then use the footpath from there, but I take the long way around, not risking the chance of running into Belle alone.
Because how the hell am I supposed to explain what she definitely saw, judging by the horror on her face and the speed at which she fled?
Sorry, there was a bug that crawled into my pants and I had to brush it off my dick?
It wasn’t what it looked like. I was checking my groin for chafing. You can never be too careful after a long ride?
Yeah, you caught me stroking my cock and coming like a fountain, but in my defense, it’s because you drive me crazy and I can’t stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try?
I groan, my tail flicking back and forth in agitation.
There’s nothing to do but apologize and tell her it won’t happen again.
If she can’t handle the fact that I’m a cow man that sometimes has needs, then she can…
She can stop sneaking around! I would’ve stopped if I’d heard anyone nearby.
It’s not really my fault she got an eyeful of something meant to be private.
My skin feels too hot and tight at the memory of coming with Belle’s name barely held back by my lips, only to turn around and find her tumbling over behind me.
Stars, what a nightmare.
At least it’s cooler out this morning than it was yesterday.
Judging by the clouds, it looks like it might rain later, so the less chatter I have with Belle as we work on arranging furniture, the better.
I’ll get in, get things done, and get out to finish my outdoor tasks before the downpour starts.
I’m momentarily distracted by the grim thought that rain will make everything muddy and less appealing to our group of guests, who are set to arrive tomorrow afternoon. I stare up at the clouds, letting out a silent prayer that it won’t be more than a sprinkle.
As soon as I step into the lobby, I’m greeted by the sight of Belle’s pert, round ass wrapped in baby-blue denim shorts, embroidered hearts with arrows through them on the back pockets.
She’s leaning over the reception desk to grab something from the other side, and as she reaches, her shorts ride up enough that I can see the slightest curve of her ass cheeks.
I swear, this woman is trying to kill me.
I almost trip over my own hooves, bracing myself against the doorframe.
Belle whips around at the thudding sound I make, her eyes going wide and an immediate flush washing over her cheeks. “Cal! You’re here!”
“Is there somewhere else I’m supposed to be?” I attempt to give her a casual shrug, deciding to ignore what happened instead of facing it head-on. We don’t need to talk about it. We just need to get the work done.
“Nope! I just uh…” Belle clears her throat. “I figured we could start up in the guest rooms?”
I nod. “Alright.”
We both stand there for a moment, unmoving, almost unbearable awkwardness hovering in the air between us.
I unfreeze myself first, letting out a small huff as I stride past Belle toward the staircase to the second level.
It’s for the best that I’m not following her, because I don’t think I can handle the sight of her ass in those shorts right in my face.
Picking a guest room at random, I enter and make space for Belle to step in behind me.
I’m distracted from my awkwardness as I take in how nice the new sage green paint looks.
Before, the walls were dark brown, which made the space seem a lot smaller.
We kept the wooden bedframes since they were still serviceable, but I note the updated pillows arranged on the bed that match the deep greens and cobalts of the new chair and bench.
Belle winces a little as I focus back on her. “I’d move this stuff around on my own, but I’d rather not throw my back out right before guests arrive.”
“Don’t mind helping.” My words come out more clipped than I’d like.
Belle points to the far side of the room. “I was thinking we could move the wardrobe over to that wall, and then put the new chair over there rather than in the corner facing the bed, so it’s not fully set up like a cuck chair.”
“A what chair?” I ask, unfamiliar with the term or why it would be bad.
She blushes and shakes her head. “Nevermind! Please forget I said that.”
Normally I’d press to find out, but things are awkward enough between us, so I let it go. It takes a few minutes to get the furniture situated where Belle wants it, but it looks great once it’s in place.
“You’ve got an eye for this,” I say, impressed by how the room has transformed from outdated to fresh and appealing in such a short amount of time.
Belle shrugs. “It definitely isn’t perfect, but it’s all we have the time and budget for.”
“Stop it.”
She frowns at me. “Stop what?”
“Stop downplaying what you’ve done. You’re good at this. It’s even more impressive that you made the room look this good with the limited time and money.”
A tiny smile curves her lips. “Thanks, Cal,” she says, voice softer than usual.
I cross my arms over my chest as if it’ll shield me from soaking up the softness from Belle. “No need to thank me. Just telling you a fact.”
She rolls her eyes. “Right. Okay, on to the next one?”
We work our way through the remaining guest rooms, and I catch Belle wincing a few times when she thinks I’m not looking. It’s clear she’s uncomfortable being around me, even if we’re pretending that nothing is wrong.
When we get back down to the lobby, I hear it—the rain coming in a sudden downpour.
“Shit,” I grumble, glancing out the window onto the porch where it’s raining so hard it looks like the sky tore open.
“Oh no,” Belle says weakly, and I catch her grimacing yet again when I look back at her.
“Looks like we’re stuck here until it stops.” I take my hat off and set it down on the reception table with a frustrated sigh.
“I’m sorry, Cal. The forecast only called for light showers in the afternoon. If I’d known it’d be like this, I would’ve suggested we work on this later.”
“Not your fault.” I mean to sound reassuring, but my tone is too frustrated not to come across as curt.
There’s a long silence, and I turn to stare out the window as if glaring at the rain will make it stop. At this rate, there’s no point in doing the final trail checks I wanted to, because it’ll be too damn muddy to use them.
With nothing to do but wait it out, I release a soft groan at this turn of bad luck.
Belle’s sharp inhale has me turning to glare at her. Her face goes bright pink, and she averts her eyes.
Dammit, this is untenable. If we’re going to be trapped in here together for a while, I can’t have her upset every time I make a sound.
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” I sigh.
“Get what over with?” Belle pops up from the sofa, her face twisting in discomfort.
“Belle.” I level her with a stern look. “You’re jumping and wincing every time I look at you. I know it’s awkward as hell, but can we try to find a way past it?”
She shakes her head rapidly. “I’m not—that’s not…”
“Surely, we can both be adults about this. What you saw was unfortunate and unintentional, and I apologize for that. I shouldn’t have been…It wasn’t appropriate and it won’t happen again.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who was inappropriate. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t leave…maybe I was befuddled from the heat?”
“What do you mean you didn’t leave?”
“I’m sorry! I’m not a pervert, I swear!” She takes a step back and hisses. “Ow, shit.”
I should focus on the implication of her apology, that I think she’s saying she was watching me, but I’m too concerned about the pained look on her face.
“Are you okay?” I rush over to her as if I can somehow see the source of her injury by getting closer. “Did you hurt yourself yesterday when you fell?”
“No, I’m fine!” she squeaks, her voice raising an octave.
Before I can stop myself, I grab her chin and tilt it so she’ll meet my eye. “Don’t lie to me. You hurt yourself.”
“I’m in a bit of pain, but it’s not from falling. I promise I’m okay.”
I narrow my eyes at her stubbornness. “Where are you hurt?”
“Oh, lord.” Her cheeks grow an even deeper pink and she pushes back from me. “I’m fine! Can we please drop it?”
I huff, holding my hands up in surrender. “Excuse me for trying to make sure you’re okay. Goddamn, you’re as stubborn as Dawn.”
Her scowl falters. “…I am?”
There’s something heartbreaking about the question that cuts through my agitation. It’s easy to forget she barely knew her grandmother.
I snort. “Absolutely. Dawn was the most stubborn woman I’ve met—until you showed up here. Drove me crazy sometimes.”
Belle smiles at the fondness and frustration in my voice. “You should be used to handling it, then, and not pestering me with annoying questions.”
“Fine. If you don’t want to talk about why you’re in pain, why don’t we discuss what you meant when you said you’re ‘not a pervert’ and that you ‘don’t know why you didn’t leave.’ Were you watching me, Belle?”
There’s a low thrum of arousal in my belly at the idea, and it increases when she looks flustered.
“If you must know, I hurt myself stretching. It’ll heal on its own. I just overestimated my…flexibility.”
“Were you doing yoga?” She must’ve found Dawn’s exercise mats and yoga DVDs.
“Sure. Now, are we done with the interrogation? Because we still have plenty to set up in the dining hall while we’re waiting for the rain to pass.
We don’t need to stand around talking about things that happened and the reasoning for them.
It’s over. We did what we did. Now let’s be adults and move on, like you suggested. ”
It kills me not to press for more information. I’m desperate to ask her why she was watching me, and for how long. Ask her if she liked what she saw and maybe offer a repeat show if she did.
But I don’t.
Because there’s nothing to say that she wasn’t frozen in place because of her horror at seeing my dick.
Because even if she enjoyed watching me, we absolutely cannot go there. There’s too much at stake to complicate our dynamic with anything sexual.
Because I don’t know what I’ll do if I get even a small taste of Belle, and then our efforts fail and she leaves.
“Fine. I won’t bring it up again if you won’t.”
Belle’s relief is palpable, her shoulders lowering and jaw unclenching. “Bring what up?” she asks, batting her lashes at me.
“Exactly.” I clear my throat. “Now will you stop distracting me with all this chatter and let me get back to work?”
She rolls her eyes at me, and I laugh, trying to ignore how much I like it when she gives me that look.
I won’t bring it up to her again, but I can’t make any promises that the thought of Belle watching me stroke my dick won’t feature prominently in my fantasies. I’m half-hard thinking about it right now.
It’s a problem, but one I clearly haven’t been able to solve by ignoring it. I can only hope that after a few times letting myself play through the fantasies in my mind, I’ll move past them once they’ve lost their potency.