Chapter 21
The rain doesn’t stop. It keeps coming down in buckets the rest of the day, and through the night, not stopping until mid-morning the following day. A mere handful of hours before the check-in time for our influx of guests. That’s if they even bother to show up after the mini-monsoon.
It’s not ideal at all, but I thrive under pressure.
I’m running on adrenaline and sheer determination as Marcie and I find every mat that exists on the ranch to put out to help prevent mud from getting tracked everywhere.
Remy and Wylie seem equally jazzed about the challenge, spreading a metric fuckton of hay everywhere people will need to walk.
August is in town on a mission to get a laundry list of last-minute supplies I threw together to come up with indoor activities now that trail rides are off the table for at least part of the weekend.
Dutch is making sure the stables are as tidy as can be since guests will be spending a lot more time in there with the horses than we expected.
Everyone is handling this with aplomb and grace.
Everyone except Cal.
“Fuck, dammit!” Glass shattering and Cal’s curses pull my focus from where I’m setting out a mud mat on the porch. I step inside to find him kneeling by a broken vase, looking like he’s on the verge of a mental breakdown.
When he goes to pick up a shard of the vase barehanded, I shout. “Stop! You’re going to cut yourself.”
He scowls at the broken vase pieces, then up at me. “I’ll be careful.”
I glare back at him. “Says the man who is so jumpy today that he’s practically vibrating. The last thing we need is for you to hurt yourself, and I don’t feel like cleaning up your blood on top of broken glass. Marcie, do you mind getting a broom and a dustpan?”
She nods from behind the desk and heads off to the supply room, leaving me alone with Cal.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, standing back up and scowling at the vase one more time, as if it personally insulted him.
“You broke a vase. It’s no big deal. It was ugly.”
My words don’t have their desired effect. Instead, his scowl deepens. “That was one of Dawn’s favorite vases.”
Oh shit. Way to step in it, Belle.
“I was kidding.”
Cal shakes his head with a heavy sigh. “No, it was hideous. But it was hers, and I destroyed it. Just like I’m destroying this place.
I don’t know why she thought I could do this.
I’m supposed to be leaping into action, but all I can do is think that this weekend is going to be a disaster and it’ll be the final nail in the coffin.
That I’ve failed Dawn and everyone here. ”
His heavy, self-flagellating words make my chest ache. I can feel his fear and insecurity in his rough tone, and see the pain on his face.
He truly thinks he’s a failure. This supremely competent, hard-working cow man thinks he isn’t enough.
How did I not notice that before?
“First off, you are not a failure.”
Cal huffs dismissively, and I take a step closer to him.
“Don’t do that. Don’t give up before things have even started. This weekend may not be what you planned for, but we’re going to make it work. We, not you, because if you look around, you’ll see that you’re not alone in this. Everyone believes in this place. Everyone wants to make this work.”
“But what if it doesn’t work?” The vulnerability in his eyes is heartbreaking.
God, he’s been torturing himself with this. No wonder he’s been so worried about letting me in. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense now.
“Then it doesn’t work.”
Cal sneers with disdain. “Easy for you to say. You have somewhere to go if this place fails. I have nothing.”
I reach out towards him, and he flinches a little.
“Hey.” The pain in his eyes makes me want to cry. I reach out again, watching his face to make sure he’s okay as I place my hand on his arm. “That’s not true.”
He releases a shuddering breath. “It is.”
“You have August. And the boys adore you, even if you scare them a little.”
Cal shakes his head. “They all have someone else in their lives. Family. I have no one.”
His words echo in the lonely cavern in my chest, the place where I carved out any attachment to parents who never wanted me and never really cared about me. In the desolate space where family should be.
A tear spills down my cheek.
“You have me.”
Cal trembles under my touch, his eyes widening. “You don’t have to say that,” he murmurs, and I can tell he’s putting his defenses back up, but I’m not about to let him shut me out. Not when it seems like he hasn’t felt safe to let someone see this side of him in a very long time.
“You have me,” I repeat, and wrap my arms around his waist, crushing myself against him in a hug.
He sucks in a surprised breath, his body tensing, but I don’t let go. “Whether or not you like it, you’re stuck with me now.”
Some of the tension leaves his body as he releases a huff of laughter. It’s awkward hugging him while he’s just standing there, but I doubt this cow man has been hugged much since Dawn passed.
“I don’t have anyone either, you know,” I say after a moment. “Gretchen is my best friend, and I love her, but she has a full, happy life without me. And my parents are only that in name.”
Cal’s hands raise, oh so hesitantly, and then they’re resting on my back, so lightly I can barely feel them. He’s holding me like I’m made of glass, worried I’ll break like the vase.
“Come on, you can hug better than that.”
Cal snorts, but he tightens his hold on me.
Oh wow. I didn’t realize how much I needed a hug, too.
It’s a bit awkward at first with our height difference, his belt buckle digging into my upper stomach and my breasts squished against his very firm abs.
If my face wasn’t turned to the side, it’d be nestled between his pecs.
I almost laugh at the thought of motorboating this big, grumpy minotaur.
His soft, woodsy scent, with a hint of musk, envelopes me, and as we both relax against one another, I realize that hugging Cal might be one of the best things ever.
“I couldn’t find the regular broom, but we can probably get it all with the dustpan and brush.”
Cal and I jolt apart like opposing magnets at the sound of Marcie’s voice. He clears his throat, and I fight against the flush rising on my cheeks.
“That’s fine, thanks!” I say, my voice higher pitched than usual from getting caught hugging Cal.
Not that there’s anything wrong with us hugging. People hug all the time.
Marcie sets the brush and pan down on the desk. “I’m going to take a quick coffee break, you two want anything?”
Is there a weird look in her eyes, like she’s wondering what’s going on between me and Cal, or is that how she always looks? Is she leaving because she wants to give us privacy, or does she really want coffee?
“No thanks, August is bringing some stuff from the cafe.” Marcie nods and heads off into the dining hall before I can tell her that the coffee pickup includes something for her.
Cal frowns slightly. “He is?”
“Well, yeah. I figured we could all use a little pick me up. You like your coffee black, right?”
I don’t miss the slight grimace on his face, his ears flicking. “Right.”
“Damn, I guess I shouldn’t have gotten you one of those churro lattes then.”
He laughs, the sound dissipating some of the heaviness in the air between us. “I suppose I can suffer through that.”
I assume that’s it for our little impromptu heart-to-heart, but Cal glances toward the dining hall then back at me. A second later, he’s pulling me back into a hug.
“Thank you,” he murmurs against my hair.
My stomach flutters and I squeeze him back. “Anytime.”
As we part, he reaches up and takes off his cowboy hat. “You know…you have me too, darlin’.” His lips twist into a small smile as he places the hat down on top of my head.
We both laugh as it flops in front of my eyes, way too big for my head. I adjust it so it’s not blocking my view of him, my chest expanding as he grins at me.
Cal touches my chin and tilts it up gently, and a whole swarm of butterflies burst to life in my stomach as I gaze into his bright blue eyes. “A bit big, but it looks good on you.”
“T-thanks.” Did it suddenly get 10 degrees hotter in here? My body floods with heat, so potent it makes me a little dizzy.
Oh crap. I like this grumpy cow man. A lot.
And the way he’s looking back at me, I can’t help wondering if the feeling is mutual.
“Cal…” His name is barely more than a whisper. My heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest as I sway toward him, caught in the potent energy of the moment.
He releases my chin and steps back, clearing his throat. “I should clean up the glass.”
My cheeks heat at clearly misreading the moment. God, good thing I didn’t say anything stupid and make things awkward between us. It’s already hard enough with him knowing that I watched him jerk off.
“Right. We should get back to work.” I spin around in a circle, trying to remember what was next on my to-do list. Cal watches me, bemused, and I smack my forehead playfully. “Oh, duh, I need to go check the hand towels in the guest rooms and make sure Marcie folded them right.”
I absolutely don’t need to do that, but I’m too flustered to remember what I need to get done with Cal around, bent over with his stupid, sexy, tight jeans showing off his toned ass and his tail as he sweeps up vase bits.
“Sounds good,” he says, not looking up from his task.
I’m halfway to the stairs when I remember I still have his hat on. Face hot, I return to the lobby and give Cal a sheepish smile. “Sorry, forgot to give you this back.” I hold the giant cowboy hat out toward him.
Cal shrugs. “Keep it for now.”
My brow furrows. “Why?”
“Because I like seeing you in it,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Uh, okay. But I’ll give it back when the guests get here. You’ll need it to sell the whole rugged minotaur cowboy aesthetic.”
There’s a thrum of displeasure at the reminder people are coming here at least partially to ogle the cow men.
I don’t like the idea of people bothering any of the minotaurs working here.
And, though I’m embarrassed to admit it, there’s also a hint of jealousy and worry that someone will flirt with Cal and he’ll reciprocate.
“Hmm, alright.”
I stand there awkwardly frozen to the spot for a beat, then rush back to the staircase for my very important towel inspection.
I touch the hat brim as soon as I’m out of sight, leaning against the wall with a flustered exhale.
This is so weird. Why does he want me to wear his hat?
When I get to one of the guest rooms, I look at myself in the full-length mirror and frown. I look ridiculous. The damn thing is hanging off the back of my head like I’m a child wearing an adult’s hat.
Why would he insist that I wear this? Is it because I look silly?
That sours my feelings about Cal loaning the hat to me.
He’s messing with me.
Well, joke’s on him, I’m going to wear it like it’s the best damn hat in the universe and I look fine as hell. And it’ll be a reminder that he might be hot and I might be developing inconvenient feelings for him, but he doesn’t see me the same way.