Chapter 15
Ember
I start by waiting for Wren to take a spoon of ice cream.
He pops it in his mouth, and his face lights up with enjoyment, but even that makes me hesitate all the more.
It’s hard for me to eat around other people, especially in public. And even more especially when it’s something unhealthy like ice cream—I often get the feeling that I’m getting funny looks. People judge me, even though they have no idea what I eat the rest of the time.
I slowly stick the spoon into my chocolate sundae and eye it warily. Then I take a deep breath: I’m here with Wren, and I feel comfortable around him. We’re friends. And I chose something much smaller than he did, so there’s nothing to make me look bad.
I make a huge effort to push the thoughts out of my mind and slip the spoon into my mouth.
“I wasn’t kidding, right?” Wren asks, looking expectantly at me.
“No, you were right, it’s amazing.” I put the spoon down for a moment. “I never even clocked this place opening up.”
I look around the patio outside the little ice cream parlor. Every chair is taken, and there’s a crowd around the counter of people queuing for cones to take to go. Wren says they do a student discount, so it’s hardly surprising. And the weather today is gorgeous.
Despite my anxiety, I was really pleased that he asked me here.
We’ve always had some reason to meet up before—filling in application forms, Wren moving house—but this time, he just asked if I’d like to spend some time with him.
The ice creams are on him, as thanks for helping with the DIY, but that’s just a bonus.
“I think I might move in here,” Wren says, spoon still halfway out of his mouth.
“Another move? When you’ve only just got settled in?” I tease. I’m slowly starting to feel more relaxed. The more we talk, the better, and the easier it gets to tune out everyone else around me.
That cheeky half smile is back. “I could have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And the counter looks really nice. I bet you could make a lovely den back there with the chair cushions.”
“I used to love making caves with my sister. It was our top weekend activity.” I take another spoonful and try just to enjoy the moment.
Wren stirs the two scoops in his glass together into a mushy, beige soup. “Oh yeah, us too—me and the lads, I mean.”
“I’m a bit jealous of your friendship,” I admit.
Wren looks inquiringly at me.
“You’ve known each other so long,” I explain.
“I have my own friends, of course, and Ruby and I are very close, but there’s no one I’ve hung out with since we were little, who’s been there the whole time.
People have grown apart or moved away, or got into totally different stuff, so that we have nothing to talk about anymore.
And it’s not like that for you. Whenever you talk about your ‘lads,’ I feel like you’ve grown closer, not further apart. ”
Wren pauses, his spoon in his sundae glass. “Yeah, that’s how it’s always been.”
There’s something in his tone that makes my ears prick. “Been?”
He shrugs with one shoulder and takes another spoonful of ice cream. A pretty big spoonful, and it takes less than two seconds for him to wince. I fight back a grin with all my might.
“Brain freeze?”
He moans and puts down the spoon. “That’s what I get for trying to dodge your question.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” I say hesitantly.
“It’s not like that. It’s just that I’m noticing the way things are changing in our group, and that’s kind of fucking me up. I’ve never been good with change.”
“So, what’s changing then?”
Wren fiddles with the napkin that’s lying on the table next to his glass.
“We often used to hang out at my house, but I haven’t had the guts to invite the boys to our new place yet. I don’t want them to see me differently, so I’ve kind of cut myself off from them. I tell them less, and…it’s kind of stupid actually.”
I murmur thoughtfully. Wren looks at me. He tilts his head and grins.
“I can see that you have opinions on that, Supergirl. Don’t hold back,” he says, waving a hand invitingly.
“I think it’s bullshit, to be fair. You’ve been friends for so long—what difference does it make where you live?”
Wren presses his lips together and stares at his ice cream, which looks more like a milkshake by this point.
He spends a long time thinking about what I said. “You’re right.”
“I know I am.”
He bursts out laughing. Then he suddenly reaches over the table for my hand.
He holds it tight and looks me deep in the eyes.
I feel my heartbeat quicken and find myself squeezing back.
I don’t know what Wren does to me. One second, he’s serious and withdrawn, and the next, he completely throws me with a gesture like this.
The moment stretches out, lasts way too long, and not nearly long enough. When Wren lets go again and picks his spoon back up, I can’t help the disappointment that floods through me.
He clears his throat and goes on like nothing ever happened. “I was planning to ask them over soon anyway. I’m sure things will get back to normal after that.”
My mind is still on that brief touch. I can still feel the warmth of his hand. And then I say something that I can hardly explain, even to myself.
“Maybe we could all do something together soon.”
Wren blinks in surprise, and I can’t blame him.
So far, we’ve kept our friendship a strict secret.
I think we both found it liberating not to have to worry about what James or Ruby might think, especially as neither of us has a clue how this is going to turn out.
But I’ve realized that I don’t want to lose Wren as a friend.
I feel safe in his company, and I don’t want to keep hiding that.
And it seems like he feels the same.
“That would be nice,” he says eventually, with a smile.
I put all my effort into ignoring the fierce tingling in my stomach.
Ruby
Time has been flying since I’ve been back at school. James and I alternate between going by bus and taking his car, and lately Wren’s been joining us, either getting on two stops later, or waiting on the main road for James to pick him up.
We’re spending every free minute studying, but it’s getting ever harder to focus with James around. I keep catching myself staring at him instead of my books—and sometimes, my whole body gets so tingly that I’m sure he must be able to feel it.
Once the day of the bonfire finally arrives, it’s like me getting suspended never even happened. OK, so some people are still talking about it, or giving me funny looks in the dining hall, but I’m concentrating on the positives: I’m back at Maxton Hall, and I’m going to do my A levels.
“Are you sure that’s all right?” Lin whispers to me as we stand by the huge pile of wood, watching the firemen build it up.
“I think last year’s looked the same,” I reply, equally quietly.
It’s after seven now, and the first arrivals are coming in. They’re strolling over the courtyard, where we’ve set up a drinks stall and little food stands where you can buy chips, campfire bread, and marshmallows on sticks.
“Yeah?” Lin is still looking doubtful. “It’s kind of…messy.”
I tilt my head and eye the construction that’s supposed to be blazing merrily in less than an hour. “I dunno. Now you mention it, I’m not so sure.”
“Trust me, it’s totally irrelevant what it looks like,” James puts in. “Before long, everyone will be too drunk to care.”
Lin and I narrow our eyes at him. “There’s no booze,” I say. “And nobody’s getting drunk.”
He just shrugs. “You both know how this turns out every year.”
I punch him gently on the upper arm.
“We’ve taken every precaution, and we’re way better prepared than last year. Stop trying to wind us up.”
He grins. “I just don’t want you two to be disappointed if it doesn’t run as perfectly as you hope.”
“How chivalrous of you,” I say dryly.
“Yeah, wow. You’re probably only saying that because it was you who helped everyone get wasted last year. Don’t go thinking I haven’t heard about your famous car boot.” Lin raises an eyebrow.
“Your famous car boot?” I ask, looking from one of them to the other. “What about your car boot?”
“Nothing, nothing,” says James hastily.
Revolted, I pull a face. “Now I remember why I used to hate you so much.”
James smiles and puts a hand on the back of my neck. He strokes his thumb over the sensitive skin there, up to my hairline. Then he leans down to me.
“You don’t hate me anymore, do you?” he breathes.
His dark voice and gentle touch send goose bumps down my arms. It takes every ounce of strength not to let him see how weak my knees are feeling right now.
“Miss Bell?” says a voice behind us, making my spine suddenly stiffen. James’s fingers twitch against my neck, as if he was about to move his hand but then decided against it.
Together, we turn to face Mr. Lexington. His face looks so serious that my heart automatically starts racing. James’s hand slides from my neck to my shoulder, and he pulls me a little closer.
I swallow dryly. “Yes?”
Lexington clears his throat. “Can I have a word for a second, please?”
“Now?” I ask, looking anxiously over my shoulder at the bonfire. “They’re about to light it.”
“It will only take a minute,” he says.
I hesitate, but I know that I have no choice.
If the head teacher wants to speak to me, I can’t refuse.
I’ve managed to avoid him for the last two weeks, only communicating by email or via his secretary.
I don’t want to be childish, but I’m still haunted by the scene in his office.
I just can’t forget the way he treated me that day.
James doesn’t let go of my shoulder. I give him a thin smile and reach for his hand to squeeze it. Then I step forward.
The head points to a spot a little to our right. I nod, and we move away from the others.
I don’t have to turn around to know that James’s eyes are on me the whole time.