Chapter 20 #2
“Shall we go through?” James asks, nodding toward the first room, on the right of the hallway.
I lead the way, walking into a small, rectangular living room.
The walls are painted terra-cotta, and there’s fancy plasterwork on the high ceiling.
There’s a fireplace and a little bay window, with the afternoon sun shining into the room.
By the window there’s a rather shabby dining table, and the chairs with it don’t look particularly solid, but that doesn’t change the fact that I instantly feel comfortable here—like this is already a home, and not just a sterile space waiting to be filled with life.
“Next room?” James asks quietly.
“Yeah,” I reply, and we head back into the hall.
Next, we see the kitchen, which is a bit on the small side but has genuine granite worktops (which my dad would kill for) and is fully equipped with a fridge, gas hob, and electric oven, although that—as I see on closer inspection—is in dire need of a clean.
James has no need to ask this time. I’m the one who tugs on his hand to lead us on.
Unlike the living room, the bedroom is square, with pale gray walls. The only furniture in here is a wooden bed and a small built-in wardrobe, about the same size as mine at home. There’s a large ceiling light in the middle of the room, with a white lampshade.
Then we look at the bathroom. It’s not huge either, but the grout is clean and I can’t see any marks on the walls.
Lastly, we check out the second bedroom. It’s much the same size as the other, but the current owner seems to be using it as an office. There’s a large antique desk on one wall and a black executive chair. Above that is a whiteboard covered in scribbled notes that make no sense to me.
The best thing about it is the view you get from here of the garden.
When I walk over to the window, I can see one of the neighbors playing with her beagle, and next door, a man is hanging laundry on the clothesline.
I watch them for a while, then turn, lean against the windowsill, and look at James, who is standing close behind me.
“It’s a nice flat, although it needs some work done.”
James looks back at me. He lifts a hand and strokes a strand of hair that’s worked free from my plait off my face. “Yeah, it’s great.”
I wait to see if he’s going to say anything else, but right now he seems more fascinated by my ear, as he slowly runs his finger along it. I shiver pleasantly.
“So, would you like to explain why we’re here now?” I ask.
He nods, but it takes a moment before he starts speaking.
“We’ve never talked about where we’re going from here,” he says in the end. “After A levels, I mean.”
I gulp hard. I haven’t even let myself think about this kind of conversation. Not after everything we’ve been through. I didn’t want to face the next challenge so soon after we’ve got through the last one.
“I’d like to buy this flat, Ruby,” James blurts out.
My heart starts racing, and I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears. “What?”
There’s a certainty in James’s eyes that I find unsettling, while at the same time, it makes me feel safe.
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his leather wallet.
He opens it and slips a folded piece of paper out of one of the compartments.
It’s brown at the corners now and looks like it’s picked up some of the dye from the wallet.
Even so, I recognize it instantly as James unfolds it.
It’s his list. The one we wrote in Oxford, that night when we talked things over, confided in each other. That night when we were closer to each other than ever before.
It looks pretty tatty now, like he’s folded and unfolded it countless times.
“Do you remember this?” James asks.
“Of course,” I say.
“You’re the first person who made me feel like there were dreams worth fighting for.”
“James…” I whisper.
He waits for me to go on, but all I can do is stare at the paper in his hand.
“I want to stick to this. Properly, I mean,” he says after a while.
“I’d like to see what the world has in store for me.
And I know that your road ahead is planned out and mine isn’t, but I’ve spent ages thinking about how we can still be together after we leave school.
How we can both live out our dreams without losing each other. ” I see him swallow.
My heart is beating faster and faster. I grip James’s hand so tightly that it must be painful, but he doesn’t show it.
“Can I show you something?” he asks.
I nod, feeling kind of numb and yet drunk on his words. James goes over to the desk and sits down. Then he gets his MacBook out of his bag. He opens the lid, enters his password, and clicks on the browser.
I stand behind him with my hands on the back of the chair. James types in an address, but it’s so fast that I can’t read it. In less than three seconds, the page comes up. It’s a blog, with the title in large, clear type at the top:
Beyond Beaufort’s
The design is simple and uncluttered, all in muted shades of gray and blue. The top half of the home page is taken up by a slider with landscape photos and text.
I scroll down—then catch my breath.
There’s a box with the heading About James Beaufort, showing a picture of him that I’ve never seen before.
He’s wearing a plain black T-shirt, and although it’s in black and white, I can tell at once that it was taken in our garden.
Even if the apple tree hadn’t been there, the copyright notice in the bottom right corner would have been a dead giveaway: ? Ember Bell.
I stare at the screen in disbelief, then look down at James. He takes a deep breath.
“I’d like to try this, Ruby. I’d like to work through the list we made together, a bit at a time.
I’d like to find out what I’m passionate about, and I’d like to take my time with it.
I’d like to travel and see the world,” James says.
The words just tumble out of him. He half turns toward me in the chair and looks up at me.
“But more than anything, I’d like to be with you. ”
I’m lost for words. I try to make sense of the thoughts whirling wildly around my head, but James has taken me totally unawares. I attempt to speak several times, but keep breaking off because I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling.
In the end, the only reaction I’m capable of is a breathless laugh.
“So when did you learn to use WordPress?”
James blinks in surprise, then smiles. “I’ve been having lessons with Ember.”
I shake my head and study the page. I lean forward and scroll all the way down to the bottom again.
There’s not much there, just a bit of dummy text and sample travel reports of different kinds, but I can vividly imagine James filling this blog with his experiences.
The thought of what this step must mean for him makes my heart beat faster.
At once, I step over to the chair and sit in James’s lap. I put my arms around his neck, shut my eyes, and hold him tight.
I can’t help thinking about the boy I met in September. So closed off, and almost crushed by his family’s expectations. That boy would never have thought it possible that he’d ever be able to shape his own future.
“This is a great idea,” I whisper.
James hugs me back.
“I’m so glad you think so. I was really scared of today. I…” He pauses. “I owe this all to you, Ruby. You gave me the push I needed to listen to my heart and think about what I really want to do after A levels. I’ll be forever grateful to you for that.”
I lean back a little to meet his eyes. I run my hand over the back of his neck and up to his jaw, smiling at him, even as tears suddenly sting my eyes.
“But won’t a flat tie you down?” I croak. “I mean, if you want to travel?”
He slowly shakes his head. Absently, he runs his hand up and down my thigh, a gesture that’s both soothing and exciting.
“My mum always said property was a sensible capital investment,” he replies.
“Once I’ve sold my stake in Beaufort’s, I have to do something with the money I’m not going to use for my travels.
Besides, I’m not planning to spend the whole time away, and when I’m in this country, I want to be near you.
And you’re going to be in Oxford, so I can’t think of anywhere better. ”
“You shouldn’t do this for me, James,” I whisper, choked.
“I don’t want to lose you. This is meant as a sign, Ruby. I’m serious about us, and I want to be able to live with you once we’ve left school.”
This little office suddenly feels much bigger. The world seems to expand as James looks me in the eyes and whispers such significant words to me.
“I’d like to be with you too,” I reply, equally quietly.
The next second, James bends down and I reach to meet him. He presses his lips to mine, as caught up in this moment as I am. Our kiss is so intense that for a moment, I don’t know whether I’m on my head or my heels. All I can do is cling to James.
I run my hands over his back, the collar of his shirt, and stroke my fingers over the skin beneath it.
It feels hot to my touch, and suddenly I’m flushed hot too.
James’s hands roam down toward my waist. He traces the curve of my ribs, then reaches around and rests both palms flat on my back to pull me closer to him.
I sigh as he kisses me more deeply, then gently bites into my lip.
“Mr. Beaufort?” I suddenly hear the estate agent’s voice.
I pull away so abruptly that I lose my balance and the chair skids over the floor. He steadies me with a hand on my back and shuts the laptop with the other.
“In the office,” he replies, having straightened his T-shirt.
Shaun appears a moment later in the doorway. He looks from one of us to the other. I can’t help noticing his lips twitch as he asks:
“Would you both like to see the garden?”